Now here's the sun come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain
You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear ;;

Dreams were not something that were uncommon for Bella. Recently, they had been more negative as opposed to not, more akin to a nightmare than a sweet escape while in slumber. That had everything to do with the fact that things in reality were trying, especially in the recent weeks. Her nightmares alternated between the subject of the Volturi, mingling the memories of Italy and the cruel fate that had been twisted there as well as the recent visit to the Cullen home. She used to only have one pain-stricken face emblazoned in her mind when it came to witnessing what Jane could do with her sickening power and relentless quest to cause pain. But now she had two. Jasper was the second who was added to that tally and it was his features that were marred with expressions of agony that haunted her dreams the most. In her nightmares, he was dealt a hand that was far worse than what had occurred after he'd instinctively lashed out when the ancient vampire coven made an appearance in Forks. Usually, these unfortunate interruptions to a peaceful night of sleep occurred when Jasper was not with her. Such had happened more than either one of them would have liked, but even still, Bella kept her tales of bad dreams a secret. It was something that couldn't be helped - there was always a chance she could still have them even when he stayed with her at night, even though she hadn't in quite awhile under those circumstances. The last thing he needed was to feel unnecessary guilt for not being with her to comfort her after she awoke with a fright.

Either way, her sleep was mainly dreamless when he did end up staying with her through the night. If it wasn't, she had anything but ill-fated dreams. Instead, they were more likely to be wonderful as opposed to anything else. One thing about Bella's dreaming was that it was often times repetitive. Whether good or bad or in between, it was common that what she dreamt of had been seen during her slumber before at least once. Tonight was slightly different, however. While the beginning had looked familiar to her, the ending wasn't one she expected. Everything started off black and white and with a haze of confusion. Then, a splash of color - golden yellow. Daffodils.

'Hi there, Bella.'

All the same. Except this time, it continued on. She still laid down with him, still curled into his side when he wrapped an arm around her. But she could see herself this time instead of seeing outward fro her own perspective.

'Hello, old man,' she teased softly. Her voice was different; melodic, like a piece of a song.

Her appearance what was made all the difference in the dream more than her added commentary. Her skin was creamy white, as pale as snow - more so than she usually was. Her complexion stood out even more with the contrast of her long, chocolate locks that framed her face. Her eyes had been closed but underneath, there were soft purple colorings as if she'd been slightly bruised in a painless way. But when they opened, there was a gold that matched not only the color of the daffodils, but more similar to the hue of Jasper's own set. Just as she was getting around to noticing how there was no end to where her skin ended and where his seemed to begin for how close in tone they were now, the dream ended. It was such a regretful thing and Bella craved to be able to fall asleep again in order to be able to continue on with it.

It would have been more heartbreaking if she hadn't woken to a reality that had been wonderful in and of itself. The brunette was very still when she woke, trying not to stir at all. She was very warm, the electric blanket tucked securely around her. One of her arms was slung across his sheet-covered chest and it remained as her eyelashes fluttered opened. They closed instantly, however, when they were met with the brightness of the room. The open floor plan left the master bedroom of the house lined with large windows which gave way to scenic views of the water. She'd appreciated it the night before when in the moonlight, it had been breathtaking. Once her eyes had adjusted, she would be able to appreciate the way the sunlight touched every surface in the room, signaling the start of her first full day as a nineteen year old. But before she could take it all in fully, Bella wanted to see how real her dream had been.

The rest of her body still remained quite immobile, but the arm that had been across his chest moved to pull down the sheet that had been covering it. It didn't register to her that it was strange for him to even be covered with the sheet to begin with considering he wouldn't be prone to the cold at all. Instead, she was fixated on her goal. Just as she suspected, when she compared her hand to the bare chest she laid it upon, her skin was definitely darker in tone. They didn't match. It wasn't a disappointment per se; it was just a confirmation that she had definitely been dreaming. She didn't notice anything other than the color. She was blind to anything else.

"Good morning," she mumbled, pressing her lips into his shoulder.

Bella's dreaming was something that Jasper had long since gotten used to. He often liked to try to guess what she was dreaming about, since he could not see for himself. He didn't remember what it was like to have dreams, so it was always fascinating for him to witness. Unless, of course, she was having a nightmare. Then he would do everything he could to soothe her back into a peaceful slumber. It was fortunate that most of the time when he was with her, her dreams tended to be of the more positive nature. He could only hope for the same when he wasn't able to lie with her at night.

After falling asleep that night, Bella once again slipped into a dream-state of being. Jasper held her and watched her face, looking for any signs of stress and counting how many times her eyelids twitched. She was mumbling a bit, but not even his heightened sense of hearing helped him much in deciphering the words into coherency. What he was really going by were the emotions he could feel from her while she slept. That made it easier for him to know if she was having a peaceful dream or a painful nightmare.

This would have been a perfect setting, but the timing of Bella's dream was a bit off. Jasper had intended to slip out of bed and put his thermal pajamas on to cover himself for when the sun rose into the sky that morning. The way the house was designed, their bedroom had floor to ceiling windows and big glass doors that led onto their balcony. The only problem with that was with the direction in which the house was facing, the morning sunlight poured into the room. He thought he could get around it, as long as he managed to dress himself before dawn. That was a foolish thought, though. How could he think he would be able to get out of bed while Bella was holding onto him? He wouldn't have disturbed her for anything in the world. His pajamas were in his sight, sitting on the dresser, but they were completely out of his reach. Instead of fetching them, he simply pulled the sheet that had been resting at his waist up over his chest and shoulders. He couldn't cover his face without covering hers, so he left it uncovered, but turned on his side to face away from the sunlight so that it would not catch on his face and illuminate the scar above his left brow.

It was no secret that Jasper was ashamed of his body, that he was repulsed by his skin and the scars that marred it. He didn't want Bella to be subjected to such a sight, and even be glittering from the sunlight pouring in. When she began to stir, he slid a little further beneath the sheet and remained still. He did not want to force her awake before she was ready, so he let her awaken on her own. His eyes remained upon her, taking in her beautiful face. Her eyes opened, then closed, then opened them again to let them adjust to the light, he presumed.

What shocked him was when she started pulling the sheet down. The sun's light immediately caught his skin and it lit up like a diamond caught in its bright rays. His skin did not twinkle exactly like others of his kind. Instead of the beautiful sparkle, his glow lit up the scars on his upper body and made them even more present than when he would see them if he looked at his arms or at his reflection. He wanted to pull the sheet back up and turn away, but he would not do something like that to her. Instead, he just watched as she placed her hand on his chest. He wasn't sure what she was doing, but he wasn't stopping her.

"I'm.. sorry.." he murmured, avoiding her eyes. "I know it's not pleasant to look at." He didn't want her to feel like she had to compliment him to keep him happy. Jasper knew her was hideous, and that there was nothing he could do about it.

"Good morning," he added quietly. "Did you sleep well?"

Bella didn't say much when he apologized for his scars. She didn't say anything at all. Instead, her attention fixed on them. It was funny how they eluded her almost entirely when she first started to examine his skin and the contrast it held against hers. They were visible now, illuminated by the way his skin caught the light and sparkled like thousands of crushed diamonds. This was one of the very few times she had actually seen them. The first time had been the night that the newborn came to her house and Jasper had wrestled with it in her backyard. She could remember what an emotional night it had been - for both of them. The fear of almost losing him, his fear of almost losing her, the relief at the conclusion, the worry of a continuing threat... There had been so many. But she would never forget the way it felt when he first showed her his scars under the bright flood of light from her desk lamp and proceeded to tell her the story of how he'd acquired them afterward.

It had been such an emotionally charged moment for the two of them. He'd been so vulnerable, so... afraid of what she would think of him after learning the truth and seeing the marks of his past. Bella recalled the way he broke down in front of her and held onto her like she was some sort of saving grace. It gave way to a passionate exchange between them and it was one of the many times that really solidified their relationship, strengthened it. Her views of him had never changed from that night. Upon seeing his scars, Bella still felt pain. She always would; she hated that he had to endure such an unforgiving past. There was nothing ugly about the scars themselves, only how and why they'd gotten there. To her, they were just another part of him. She loved all parts of him. Just as he'd told her that he couldn't hate the crescent that curved around her palm because it was a part of her, the same held true for Bella's opinion of Jasper.

That night, when she had first seen them, she'd made a conscious effort to try and memorize where each and every mark was on his body. She remembered most of them, despite how many there may have been, and could do so even without being able to see them with her naked eye. But now they were visible and she found herself captivated by them much more so than being turned off to them as he was. Her hand lifted slightly so that she could just touch her forefinger to his skin. With it, she started to trace the scars that covers his chest, fixated on the curves and the crisscrosses.

"You're so beautiful..." she marveled, continuing her feather-like caresses.

She meant what she'd said - he was beautiful. To her, he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. That included his scars. It would be no surprise if he didn't believe such a thing about himself when he made it so clear that he held shame when it came to the marks on his skin. Otherwise, he would never have apologized to her just now. Jasper wouldn't be able to deny her words when he could feel her emotions radiating within her, including the fingertip that continued to trace along his skin.

There was no rush. If he would let her, Bella was content in further memorizing where each and every line began and ended, where each memory was imprinted onto his skin. As her finger moved along his flesh, the way his skin sparkled cast white lights against her own skin, a reflection. It made it seem like they matched again, another fact that she marveled at, especially after her dream. There was still a darker tint to her skin, but it wasn't quite as noticeable as perhaps it would have been without the light reflections being cast from his own. Her finger continued to move along his skin slowly, almost as if she were worshiping the crescents that covered it, so far from being repelled by them. The delicate manner in which she traced them, moving down to the ones that marked his abdomen were mimicked by her lips. Shifting slightly, she crawled closer to him and started to press kisses to the origin of each one of his scars. Special attention was given to one on his shoulder, the worst of the ones that had been given to him when he was defending her from the newborn. Her lips pressed into the sensitive skin, eyes closing for the reverence. Similar affection was paid to various scars as she kissed her way over his chest and down to his stomach.

Pausing, she reached for his hand, tracing her fingertips down the length of it. Her mouth, again, followed the feather-light trail, slowly - still with no need of rushing - until it reached his wrist. The scar that she could always feel if she brushed her hand over that spot was visible to the eye now, the worst of all the others. Bella knew it was not only the deepest and the most sensitive, but it was the most significant as well.

"I'm in love with every... single... bit of you..." she whispered against the skin before trailing a row of soft kisses along the half moon shape on the inside of his wrist.

Although it was selfish of him, part of what Jasper loved most about her being human was the fact that she couldn't see the scars unless he was in the sunlight. At the same time, this fact tore him apart because she was seeing a lie; she was only seeing what nature intended her to see, so he could lure her in as his prey. It sickened him at times, only second to the fact that if she could see otherwise, she'd be subjected to seeing the hideous truth. Jasper honestly didn't know which was worse.

Bella, however, never ceased to amaze him. He thought she was incredibly beautiful on the outside, but internally she was that much more beautiful. Her heart was so genuine, and she was always so incredibly honest with him when it came to her emotions. She didn't try to be fake, to tell him something false when she felt entirely different. He knew it wasn't just because of his power; Bella was incredibly genuine. Therefore, he had no choice but to believe her when she said he was beautiful. It was hard for him to hear, because to him that was the farthest thing from the truth. She saw an angel, and he saw a monster. It baffled him, because even in seeing his true self, Bella still spoke of such genuine feelings. He didn't deserve this love, but he would most certainly cherish it.

He watched as she trailed her fingers along the outlines of his scars. He could recall nearly all of them, who gave them to him, and why. Mostly all of them had come from newborns trying to take his place at Maria's side, though a good deal of them had come from having to kill the newborns who were past their prime. Of course, Bella knew the scar Maria had given him very well. It was the one she could feel if she touched him, even without the aid of the light. Jasper did not flinch, for her touch was so very soothing to the internal pain that remained locked within him and would for all eternity. He could not erase his past, as it was evident and always would be forever etched into his very skin. But with Bella, she could make it easier for him to carry with him.

She made him feel.. beautiful.

He breathed in deeply as she kissed along the most painful scar, which had been reopened by Maria's teeth recently. It tingled, but the warmth of her lips was so very comforting to him. Jasper did not know how he could ever thank her for all she'd done for him. More than just the scars, she'd mended his heart, given him the chance to love again, and given him a reason for living. Very slowly, he lifted her chin and pulled her into a loving embrace.

"Belle," he murmured softly, closing his eyes and hiding his face in her soft hair. "I love you. I.." His voice hitched, and if he could have, he probably would have shed tears. "I can't tell you how much it means to me, that someone like you could love someone like me. It's.. inexplicable.. how wonderful you make me feel."

He found her lips then and kissed her very tenderly, but passionately. He let his love for her pour out of him, emanating from his kiss. His arms wrapped around her, and as he parted from the kiss he continued to press his lips to her jaw.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I would give anything to be warm for you."

Bella was happy when he didn't protest her words or even pull away from her touch. She knew it wasn't only because he didn't want to offend her by doing so or by making her feel rejected. It was because he truly believed that she thought he was beautiful to her. His words only confirmed it further and upon doing so, made her heart feel as if it were alight. She caught the slight change in the pattern of his speaking and she recognized it well. He couldn't cry, but there were times when Jasper's voiced hitched that way when he was overcome with a certain emotion. Be it sadness like she had witnessed before in the graveyard, or happiness now upon hearing that she loved him exactly as he was.

He claimed that it was inexplicable how he cared for her, but Bella understood it full and well. The reason was because it was the same way she felt for him. Words were beautiful, but they didn't always fall together right. It was rare that they could convey such a deep connection like the two of them had with one another and knowing that, it was all right that sentences couldn't form to express it. Their hearts may have been broken before but in helping each other mend them, they came to match. As a result, they were stronger than before. It was exemplified in the way they kissed, the passion raw and deep-rooted. When his lips moved against hers, she reciprocated, sighing against his mouth.

Another soft sound left her lips, eyes closing when his started to move along her jawline and he pulled her closer to him. She hadn't been expecting an apology, but when she was given one, her eyes opened again to look up at him. The cold didn't really bother her. Of course it did when it was associated with anything except Jasper; she'd never been a big fan of the rain or the cold, despite choosing to live in Forks where both were frequent. But when she felt a chill from Jasper, it meant that he was close. It was reassuring and in a way, comforting to her, despite the fact that her body reacted against it naturally. It did that now when she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head down on his shoulder and goosebumps lifted on her skin.

"It doesn't bother me," she said honestly, just giving him a tighter squeeze to combat her contradiction of anatomy.

Her mind began to wander then. She had become so used to the idea of her being warm and him being cold, that it didn't really register to her that it would all be different when she was a vampire too. Jasper had said before that he liked how warm she was and how good her lips felt against his skin because of her temperature, but when she was immortal, that would go away. All of her human aspects would go away. She wouldn't be warm or soft. That thought worried her when she considered how much he liked that about her now.

"Will you miss this?" she asked, her cheek still settled against his shoulder and her lips poised by his neck as she spoke her thoughts aloud. "It won't be like this when I'm not human," she said. "I won't be warm to you anymore," she said, a hint of sadness in her tone.

When Jasper thought about the things Bella would be giving up upon her transition into becoming a vampire, he thought more about the things he knew she would miss rather than the human traits about her that he adored. There were so many things she would be losing, just in order to be with him. Jasper felt terribly guilty about it, but he also felt incredibly blessed and lucky that she wanted to be with him so much that she would do so. He still did not understand why, but he also knew that love was not something that could be defined in words. Bella loved him and he loved her. That was all the explanation that was necessary.

He passed a hand through her hair and kissed the top of her head as she curled up against him and told him she did not mind that cold that his body exuded. That was truly kind of her, and he could understand her reasoning, but he also knew that there was no question that she'd be more comfortable if he was softer and warmer. As comforting of a presence as his cold exterior might have be, that didn't make it comfortable. It was fortunate that she did find it soothing, though, else it might make curling up in bed together a bit difficult. For good measure, Jasper tucked the blanket around her as he held her against him. He listened to her words, her questions, her fears. He could feel that she was nervous about what she was asking.

"Belle," he murmured her name, kissing her forehead. He gently started to rub her back, and moved so that he could be looking directly at her. "I won't lie and tell you there are things about you now that I won't miss later," he said. "Each day that passes when I'm with you, I miss the day before. I will miss this, of course." He trailed his fingertips up and down her spine. "I'll miss the lull of your heart beat, and at the same time, I won't miss the desire I have for your blood. I know- that's terrible of me. But I can't help it. I love you deeply, but that thirst.. I.. I can't.. always completely push it away."

He didn't want her to be afraid of her transition, but he did want her to know everything about it so that she knew what she was getting herself into. She deserved to know, as she was making truly the ultimate sacrifice just for the sake of being with him.

"You'll still be warm to me," he said. "That will never go away. What will change is how I feel to you. I won't feel like a frozen statue. It will just feel.. normal for you to hold onto me. You won't get goosebumps anymore. I won't feel like steel. But.. you will see the scars all the time. I know, you say you don't mind them. It's just.. right now, they'll still go away when I move into the shade. When you're a vampire, that won't happen. You'll see me for who I truly am constantly. I would understand if you were repulsed. I don't want you to feel badly about that.."

To move on from that as quickly as possible, Jasper kissed her forehead again and rested his hand on her hip. "Is there anything else you'd like to know? About the changes you'll go through if you decide for certain this is what you want?"

Bella didn't often think about anything that she would be giving up when she thought about being human. They talked about this before. The hardest thing for her would be not being able to keep the same relationship with her parents like she had now. Easily, that was the hardest thing she would have to give up. She didn't mind anything else. She didn't mind avoiding the sun or having to learn how to hold her breath when there were humans around. She didn't mind the necessity of learning how to hunt or even to drink blood. She didn't care about the fact that she would never sleep again or that there would be no end to time as she knew it now.

But she hadn't thought about the fact that Jasper would be losing things as well. Even though he said that she would still be warm to him, it wouldn't be the same. Whenever she touched him and caused for a particular response to be emitted because of the warmth of her fingers, it let her know that he was enjoying it. She wondered if that would be the same when she didn't feel quite the same. He said he would miss the sound of her heartbeat. That was something that she never took into account before. Bella thought that it would be something he would be happy without for the sake that it was a constant reminder that she was supposed to be the hunted. She was the prey.

At the same time, he had a point. When she was no longer human, he wouldn't have to be concerned with the fear that she was the prey. She wouldn't be any longer. Instead, she would be the hunter as well. That was something that did comfort her when she thought about the fact that he wouldn't have to think of himself as such a monster when it came to bloodlust anymore. What happened on her birthday a year before would be just a distant memory.

"It's not terrible," she assured him, trailing her fingers along his chest as he continued to do the same along her back in a soothing manner. "I understand."

And she did. It was in his nature to have a desire for her blood. They were going against nature every second they spent together. For that, Bella counted her blessings. It was unlikely that this could happen, but they made it happen. When he started to speak of his scars, she shifted so she could sit up a little bit. Pressing her fingers to his lips, she shook her head.

"Jasper, I could never be repulsed by you," she said, not even liking the way that word was in the same sentence as his name. The two would never go together in Bella's eyes. "I meant what I said. I love every bit of you. Including these," she said, brushing her fingers against his forehead and touching the scar above his brow. "If anything, I'll only love you more," she said honestly.

"I won't feel like you have something to hide anymore. You won't feel like you have something to hide anymore." She kissed him quickly when he made a quick getaway from the subject, not wanting to press it more. It was something that Bella would do a better job with convincing him once she was a vampire. Time would bring the truth if her words couldn't do the job alone now.

The brunette was quiet for a moment when he asked if she had anything else she wanted to know. There were so many things she wanted to know. It was just a matter of knowing where to start.

"It is what I want," she assured him first and foremost, brushing her fingers against his cheek. After a few more moments of thought, she came up with one of the most important questions. "How long will it take before... before I can control the thirst?" she asked. "How long until I can see Charlie again? Or go to school if we have to move? Or come out from hiding away?"

Whenever he had doubts about himself, whenever he was on a roll with beating himself up and felt he had legitimate concerns, Bella was always right there to counter them. She was unbelievably stubborn when it came this sort of thing, and yet, she was always logical about it. She had a very valid point. When she was able to see him for what he was, there would be nothing to hide anymore. He wouldn't feel as though he was living a lie every time they were together. That of course did not take away from how he felt that she deserved someone better, more beautiful. Given that he thought the world of her, he was certain he'd still feel that way even if he wasn't marred with scars.

Jasper returned her kiss, thankful that the subject did successfully transition to another direction. He didn't like himself being the focus of the attention, and this was a subject that they could beat into the ground for their eternity together and he would still struggle with it. Just another penance for his sins, he supposed. He wanted this morning to be happy and light, for it would not be long before he would have to have Carlisle and Esme come pick her up and take her back to Charlie's house. He still wasn't permitted on the property and he was doing his best to respect that to Charlie's knowledge. The fact that he still snuck in at night to stay with her whenever he could was beside the point. But he'd opened up this topic of conversation, and while he wished he could tell her all the things she would've wanted to hear, Jasper's take on newborns was very different as opposed to Carlisle's.

"It's hard to say," he replied, honestly. "You know I've had a lot of experience with newborns, but.. given the circumstances, I never really got to see how long it took for them to rein in their control. The strength that you will come to possess will be unmatched by any of us. Even Emmett would have a difficult time pinning you if you were to wrestle him." ...Or if he had to restrain you..he thought, frowning.

"You'll have speed that will be very difficult to keep up with. Your senses will be heightened even more than the average vampire. It's because of the transition; this is all going to be very new, and your body is adjusting to its immortality." He ran a hand through her hair soothingly, though he was starting to get a bit more concerned. "It's usually after the first year that your body and mind adapt to everything, and all your senses and power begins to calm. At least, that was my experience with the newborns I have encountered."

He thought more on it, then held her a little closer. "As for the thirst, I don't know. I was raised differently than the rest of my family. Carlisle has successfully raised three newborns on his own." Four, indirectly, if one included raising Alice by her visions of Carlisle and his vegetarian ways. "You know I still struggle immensely with my thirst. That's something that every vampire copes with to a degree. I have not witnessed Carlisle's ways, but from what I understand Emmett struggled, and even Esme slipped a few times." He frowned a little again, looking down.

"It will probably at least that first year before you will be able to see Charlie. As for school.. well, my stint at Forks High School was not the first, but I have not been through nearly as many school as the others. I had to stay home most of the time while they all went to their classes. I would study privately at home. Carlisle would give the excuse that I had a weak immune system or something to that effect if anyone inquired. But for you, I.. I just can't give you a direct answer. I'm sorry, Belle. This is.. so much to ask of you. So much of a sacrifice."

It was a lot to take in. Bella did the best she could, but the fact that she could feel his concern didn't make it any easier. He was always honest with her, which Bella appreciated. But that didn't mean that the truth was always a simple thing to take in stride. Being someone who encountered so many newborns firsthand, Jasper was the best person to give his opinion, even though it was different than the one Carlisle would have probably expressed. Two very different backgrounds and upbringings were to blame for that.

Bella's would be very different than any others, too, of course. She was the only human who ever willingly chose to give up her mortal life in favor of that of a vampire's. That made the circumstances completely unlike any other. There might have been things in her case that never would stand true for any of the others, even though the process was essentially the same. The thought was scary. The whole thing was scary. Bella would have been lying if she said she didn't feel that fear. But it was all about costs and benefits, pros and cons. To her, there were far more benefits than there were costs. To Bella, Jasper was worth anything. So much so that if he asked for her to remain a human, she would ultimately do so. She would hate it; she would hate every single passing second that brought her closer to a natural and inevitable death and have far more fear under such circumstances than without. But if Jasper wanted it – if he really wanted that – Bella would find the strength to do it and push her stubborn wants aside.

He seemed to make it clear that the decision was ultimately hers, however. And she'd long since made it. Despite any uncertainty about the future, despite any fears or concerns, she would endure it. Because it was what she wanted more than anything; the assurance that she would be with him forever.

"Guess we'll just… wing it," she said, forcing away the negativity either of them were feeling. "I'm sort of a freak now, anyway. Maybe I'll be a really freaky vampire." She shrugged and kissed his shoulder. "I guess one thing is for sure," she said, adopting a fake sort of frown. "I won't be able to fairly call you an old man after a few centuries. I'll be an old lady by then too," she said, the corners of her lips turning back up when she finished jesting with him.

There was something else she wondered about. "When it happens… when Carlisle does it…" she said, trying to think of how she wanted to phrase her questions. "Will I be conscious of it? Of what's going on?"

That was what scared him. They would have to wing it. Jasper had never known a human who wanted to become a vampire. He didn't know if that made the transition any different, or the outcome. There were so many guesses but none of them were any that he could pin down as an actual theory. Even with his extensive knowledge of newborn vampires, this situation was unlike any he had ever encountered. He couldn't form a concrete plan, and that messed with his strategic mind. They were flying blindly into this, and it actually scared him.

He did smile a little, though. "A freaky vampire," he repeated, chuckling ever so slightly. "Can't say I've ever run into one of those before."

Naturally, that was a joke. He'd seen his fair share of vampires who would definitely fall into the realm of "freaky" by any standard. Bella had been exposed to some, too. He would definitely consider himself one, that was for certain. He did wonder if Bella would bring with her into the vampire world some sort of extrasensory gift. No doubt there would be something of her personality that would become more dominant, as Carlisle's compassion or Esme's ability to love passionately.

"It's.. not going to be pleasant, Bella," he said quietly. "I wish I could tell you otherwise. I really do. Your change will be.. similar to what mine was. I was not gravely injured when I was changed, as those who Carlisle changed were. I was fully conscious. We've often wondered if putting someone into a medically induced coma before hand would lessen the pain, but somehow I doubt it. Esme was in a coma when Carlisle changed her and she still felt everything. Injecting morphine will do nothing, as I believe they tried that with Emmett. Our venom is.. unlike any other substance."

He held her to him again and looked up at the ceiling. He didn't want to think about Bella going through such a painful experience, but that was the reality. She needed to know everything she was putting herself through.

"You'll know what's happening to you as soon as he bites. You'll feel the venom starting to rush through your bloodstream. It will shut down each of your organs, dissolve all your blood and replace it with itself. It's cruel, as it leaves your heart for last. I'll do everything I can to keep you comfortable. I have some theories to help ease the pain, but I won't lie to you. It's going to be a difficult three days."

Again, Bella appreciated Jasper's honesty when it came to telling her about what to expect. He had a good point about being similar to her in that he wasn't injured before he was bitten. He was just unsuspecting. The difference, though, was that it would not be a vicious, power-hungry witch who bit her and consequently destroyed her from that point on without any sort of remorse. She would be with Jasper soon enough, even if he wasn't the one who was going to be administering the bite himself.

"You'll be there?" she asked, tilting her head up to look at him again.

When he said he would make her comfortable so long as he could, it made it sound to Bella that he would be there. Originally, she didn't think he would be able to. At least not initially with the scent of her blood in the room. The fact that she would be in so much pain didn't make it easy for him to want to be there as well. She, of course, would never blame him for either of those reasons. In fact, she almost wished Jasper would be out of the room for his own sake. It was only for selfish reasons that she wanted him there with her; she simply didn't want to be without him.

She swallowed when he confessed that it wouldn't be easy. The more she thought about it, the more she tried to talk down the pain. How many times had she landed herself in the emergency room for various injuries? So many cuts and bruises and stitches over the years due to her own clumsy actions and two left feet. They had all been painful too, but she'd endured them. This would be unlike any of those things, but Bella tried to convince herself that she could endure this too. She could and she would. Talking to herself about it in simpler terms like past incidences made it easier. The worse had been the year before with James. There were so many injuries she sustained even just leading up to the bite. She was no stranger to what it felt like to even have venom run through her veins. It was unlike any pain she'd ever felt before and when she thought about it hard enough, she could still even recall what it felt like to an extent. This would be so much more intensified and instead of feeling relief like she had when Edward sucked the venom back out of her, it would only spread until, like Jasper told her, shut down all of her organs, saving her heart for last.

"What are your theories?" she asked, laying her head on the pillow next to him and turning to lay on her side so she could face him properly.

Jasper nodded when Bella asked about his presence in the room. He would do everything he could to make sure he remained in control while the transition took place. He had every intention of being with her each step of the way, though he knew there was the possibility that it could overwhelm him. The hardest part would be the initial bite. She would bleed from the wound, of course, and Carlisle would end up drinking a bit of her blood in the process. Until that wound was healed by the venom, he'd be risking losing control and attacking her as he did on her birthday the previous year.

"I'll be as close as I can be. Emmett.. might have to hold onto me at first," he said. "Until the wound closes, at least. Otherwise I.. I might be a danger to you." He wasn't going to say, 'or else I might fight Carlisle for your blood.' That was something he didn't want to think about.

He also didn't want to think about all the pain she was going to be in. It was bad enough that he'd be able to feel all the emotional turmoil she was going to experience as she transitioned from human to vampire. Everything would heighten, and he'd feel it as it was happening. He didn't care about the effects it would have on him, but he didn't want her to have to experience them at all. She was also going to have to endure more physical pain than she should ever have to go through. He could calm the emotional pain, but there was little he could do for the physical pain. He could only soothe the exterior pain she felt little by little. It broke his heart to think about all the pain she was to endure, just so she could be with him.

"Mind you, there is very little that can be done," he said, not wanting to get her hopes up too high. "The venom is.. unstoppable. But, there are little things I can do to help soothe you along the way. For starters, I can keep you from becoming overwhelmed by the pain, and keep you calm." He let his arm rest on her waist, snaking it around her to keep her close to him and turning so he could face her properly.

"As it seeps through the blood stream, it will rise up into your skin to help give it the hard exterior mine has now. It burns, naturally. With my skin as icy as it is, I'm hoping that if I hold you long enough, it will keep your skin cool. It won't do much for the interior burning you'll feel as it moves into your organs, but I want to keep you as comfortable as I can." He kissed her forehead, then pressed his to hers.

"Your throat is going to start burning once your thirst has been initiated. Blood is what sustains us, drinking it keeps us calm and soothes the burn. I'm thinking if I can give it to you in sips, it might help soothe that pain as well. I can give you animal blood, too, to get you used to the taste. I'm sorry, this doesn't sound very appealing, I'm sure. I just.. want to make this as easy for you as I possibly can."

Bella's heart fluttered when he confirmed that not only would he be close to her, but he'd be a lot closer than she originally anticipated. It would be difficult for him, in that case, than it would be for her. He would be able to feel everything she was going through. Even if she did her best to hide how much it was hurting her, Jasper would see right through it and there would be no denying what was happening and to what extent. She would have to endure the pain no matter what, but having him close to her would make it easier. If she was aware of what was happening as he told her she would be, then she could focus on him and be able to deal with it better than if he weren't with her at all.

The things that he suggested spiked her interest. She knew that she shouldn't get her hopes up – the last thing she wanted was for Jasper to feel like he failed if his suggestions didn't work, but the ones that he expressed to her seemed like very logical ones from the way he explained them. He was always so concerned about his cold skin and this would be one time where he could appreciate the fact that it was different from hers. His arm draped over his torso seemed to be especially chilly on account of the fact that it was brought into question. Even still, Bella moved closer to him. When he kissed her forehead, she shifted closer still so that their noses were almost touching in addition to their foreheads. Her fingers lifted to gently thread through his hair as he continued to speak.

It didn't sound very appealing, no. But strangely… it didn't really bother her. It would have affected most others more than it would her considering she was so well in tune with the Cullen's lifestyle.

"Actually… it sounds… good" she said, scrunching her nose slightly. She had to laugh quietly. "I know I won't like it now, but I'll like it then, right?" she said. "I told you I was a freak." She laughed softly again. When Bella quieted, she reached for a kiss.

"Thank you," she told him, tightening the arm she had around him to press their bodies against each other, the contrast in temperature striking. "I'm not scared."

Jasper was still feeling very selfish about the whole matter. He wished it could've been him having to go through all of these changes, giving up all of these important qualities, people, daily routines and ways of life in order to be with her. True, he was going against the natural instincts of his species in order to be with her, and he was enduring the constant pain he felt from the thirst that so often consumed and controlled him. He'd never really considered any of that to be a sacrifice, though. It was just part of being with her, and he never questioned it for a moment.

It was difficult for him to concentrate when she was so affectionately running her fingers through his hair. That was one of his favorite things in the entire world. He loved how how her fingers felt twisting and running through his curls. It soothed him more than almost anything else. Jasper kissed her tenderly as she moved closer, then resumed pressing his forehead to hers.

He wouldn't classify her as a 'freak,' for certain, but Bella was an offbeat. It wasn't just anyone who longed to be a vampire, or someone who seemed to be a danger magnet. She was completely different than any other human he'd ever come into contact with. Admittedly, Jasper didn't spend a lot of time fraternizing with humans, but he knew enough to know that Bella was different. Maybe she really wasmeant to become a vampire. Maybe she defied human nature and was meant for something more. This was not for Jasper to say. The decision was entirely Bella's, and it seemed she'd set it in stone. Though he did not want her to endure the pain and all the sacrifices that came along with being a vampire, he was not going to deny her of her wish.

"Not a freak," he said, shaking his head and smiling.

He pulled her against him as she moved closer, and shifted their bodies so that he was on his back and she was laying over him. His hands passed over her body, trailing down her sides and her back, then back up.

"Thank you," he whispered, echoing the sentiment. "I love you."

He pulled her into a gentle kiss, which gradually turned very deep and passionate. It was not long before they were tangled and entwined with each other, making love as the sun's rays spilled into the room. It was the first time they'd done so within the light of day, allowing his true form to overtake the camouflage. This was, perhaps, the most meaningful time they'd made love for Jasper. Even though he felt hideous, he felt honest, and that meant everything.

Throughout the rest of the morning, they stayed entwined in each other's arms, just holding and kissing each other. Eventually they made their way down to the kitchen to make Bella some breakfast. The remainder of the early afternoon was spent together, further examining the house and property, until the time came for Carlisle to arrive and take Bella back home to Charlie. It was a bittersweet parting; Jasper would be back to see her once Charlie was sleeping, but he still never liked to be apart from her. That would be remedied once she was changed; they would never leave each other's sides, unless she so desired to. But that latter thought did not cross his mind.

They would be together forever. They would have their eternity.

Lyrics: I'd Rather Be With You - Joshua Radin

END OF BOOK ONE

Very important author's Note: So that's it for the first part of our story! Again, it is not NEARLY the end. In fact, we've already posted the first chapter of the next book 'Make This Go On Forever'. Here is the link: s/8854122/1/Make-This-Go-On-Forever

Make sure you follow and favorite that story right away so you don't miss any updates! We'll be posting chapters similarly to how we are now, which usually is around 2-3 a week.

In 'Make This Go On Forever', some things you will see:

- Victoria and her army (Right off the bat, you'll read about this in the first chapter!)

- Jasper slipping up with his bloodlust

- The introduction of new friends and family, especially Peter and Charlotte, Renee, and more!

- Intense confrontations between Bella, the Cullens, and the Quileutes

- A very important change in Bella

- A lot of intimacy and some racy scenes

- A white dress

- The Volturi and the outcome of their interest in Bella and the Cullens

Thanks so much for reading our story! We hope you love the next book as much as this one! Please review and let us know what you thought about part one! We adore our readers and appreciate every single one of you! Happy reading! Cheers! x