AN1: Feeling inspired in Geometry today.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter will be mine when I travel to the round earth's imagined corners in a steamboat wearing a clown suit. AKA: NEVER!
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How is it possible? It's absolutely inconceivable! How can one person, on human being, cause so much pain and so much confusion? She is totally confused and totally torn in two.
On the one hand, she loathes him.
Oh yes, she loathes him with every fiber of her being. In her mind he is ever single bad name that she doesn't dare say aloud. She longs to see him and slap him. Scream in his face. Tell him she loathes him. Because she does.
...And yet...
And yet she loves him still. Even after all that he's done, all the pain he's put her through, she still loves him.
Maybe.
No!
No she doesn't.
She doesn't know what she thinks or how she feels. She doesn't know what she wants. She wants to see him and embrace him, to see him and hurt him. She wants never to see him again as long as she lives. Her wants are conflicting. They don't work together.
What exactly does she want?
Not to see him, but then again...not to never see him.
She wants...
She wants closure.
Yes, that's exactly what she wants.
But how? How is she supposed to get closure if she is probably never going to see him again? And if she does see him again, then what would she say? What would she do? What should she say? What should she do?
Would she actually be able to release the harsh words that she wishes to express? The ones that she only dares to think and to write in her notebook? Or would she just see him and forget everything he's done to her? Forget the tears she cried over him, the pages she burned and the heartache she's suffered because of him. Would she forget about all of that and melt into his arms, not caring about the past and just choose to pretend that it never existed. Is that how it will work?
All she knows is that she has to get closure someday, someway and somehow. It's not enough just to try to forget him. That will never work.
Oh what she would give to be free!
What she would give to be able to forget!
But...the heart doesn't work that way. Time is selective about what it heals. She knows deep down, that she will never truly forget him. She will never truly have the ability to put him out of her mind and out of her heart. She can only hope that someday she will be free of him and his memory forever.
But at the rate she's going...forgetting him will take a lifetime. So it is merely wishful thinking to believe that he will ever be gone from her mind.
Hermione Granger will never forget Draco Malfoy.
Ever.
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AN2: Hey! Be grateful for a quick update! Review!
PS: Ash, if you want to send me a message, PLEASE DON'T USE A REVIEW! That's what the Private Messaging is for. Or Yahoo Messenger!
lovelove, Amanda