Lupe's POV;

I looked through the curtain for a few seconds. It was almost time for me to go onstage.

It wasn't actually the performing part that scared me, it was the conversation I had with Rian, and the fact that Alex would be watching me from backstage, just like he always did.

"Hi" I said, answering my phone as it started to ring, "Who's this?"

"Duh, it's me baby!" Andy grinned through the phone, somewhere half way across the world.

I smiled, a little. Despite everything, he wouldn't forget my first show. "Aw, it's good to hear your voice"

"Yeah, I called to wish you good luck!"

"Thanks" I started, this was my first chance to act on Rian's advise "Look, I need to talk to you and it just won't wait"

"Yeah, okay baby I'm all ears" But as he said those words, I heard someone giggle in the background, and I froze, what?

"Um, well you know that All Time Low came to stay a few months back?" I started, unsure of what to say with the background noise of what sounded like an all-girl party, grew.

"Yeah, look honey, I've got to go" Andy sighed, "There's something's I gotta attend to"

And before I could reply, he hung up on me. I couldn't believe my ears. Things were so different between us, and I couldn't explain it, but I guess I pushed him away, and he ran the same direction. He toured non-stop, and I retreated back inside myself after everything went wrong. I couldn't believe the kind of person I had become. But, the love between us faded, and all that was left was this nagging feeling like the longer I left everything, the more I lost the person I had become.

I missed the girl who dreamt about her favourite band, and then found out it wasn't just her dream.

"Sounds like he's having fun" A sarcastic voice said behind me and I knew that voice all too well. It reminded me of days when I wasn't quite as tarnished. "You know, maybe you should tell him what you told me, and then he'll stop fucking whatever he can find abroad"

I turned slowly to see Alex leaning against the venue wall, his head tilted to the side as he watched me, "I don't remember asking you anything" I whispered, too afraid to actually speak up.

"What's that?" He said, his voice still dripping in sarcasm as he held his hand to his ear, "I can't hear you. Speak up"

I swallowed as the air around us became slow and clogged up, "I said I didn't ask you anything"

"And so she speaks" He smiled smugly.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, hoping that I was dreaming, but when I opened them, he was still staring at me with an amused expression. I bit my lip and cast my eyes down. I knew I would have to come face-to-face with him sooner or later, but I had always hoped on the latter option. And I knew it was me, being stupid. I should be able to at least look at him, after all that has happened. But, it hurt. I felt like he had punched me in the gut. And I could barely breathe.

"Rian told me you were in tears" He stated simply when it became obvious that I wasn't going to add anything, "And that you thought that everyone hated you"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes firmly on my shoes.

"You know, I wish you would just look at me" He whispered, sounding closer to me than before. I felt his hands cup my chin and then lift my face up to meet him eyes. "After all, I'm not going to hurt you"

I didn't feel brave enough to tell him that his fingers were burning me, at this point I took it as a good sign that he hadn't removed his hand just quite yet, even though it hurt, I welcomed the pain his touch gave me.

We looked into each other's eyes for what felt like ages. His hand didn't move, but his finger tip started to trace patterns in the soft skin along my jaw bone and cheek. It felt like he was trying to remind me and himself of easier times, when he used to do this, and I would kiss him, smiling.

"Shows about to start" He murmured, gruffly, his lips moving inches away from mine. I nodded and pulled my head back, out of his grip. "I'll… I'll, see you tonight?"

The way he asked was almost as he begged me, and I couldn't tell him no. No again, so I nodded.

He walked briskly away from me, and I let out the breath I'd been holding for as long as he had been holding my face. This isn't a good idea. None of this is.

A/N;

This really isn't as good as I wanted it to be, but I want to finish this fic this year. D:

Anyway, enjoy! If you have any questions please review:3