AN1: (Screams an inordinate amount of choice expletives) They. Eliminated. Jeff. I. LOATHE. Them. With. Every. Fiber. Of. My. Being. Damn. Them. Curse. Them. They. Suck. Monkey. Turds. (Deep cleansing breaths) Okay, I'm good.
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! That is strictly the property of JKR. And the description of "fluttery fear" is not mine either. That belongs to Rue. Writes. and I thank her immensely for allowing me to use it! Thank you!!!
Dedication: (This is a chapter late! Sorry!) This chapter, without a doubt, is dedicated to Lya Darkfury. She stopped reviewing for awhile and then went and left a review for every single chapter I updated with and two of my other old one-shots. I am extremely grateful! Thank you so much!
NOTE: Diary entries are in italics and it is in Hermione's POV. Regular time—it actually happens in the middle of the entry—is in regular POV. I'm sure you could have figured that out, but just in case!
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Hello!
Yesterday was the first snowfall of my seventh year! I'm really excited about it, but I'm too warm and comfy to want to go outside. And besides, I have way too much to think about.
According to Ginny, I partially fall into the category that she has dubbed 'fluttery fear'. It's when you know you want something but you're so afraid of not getting it that you don't go after it. It's when you are torn between two things, the good (choice, if you will) and the bad one. For me, it is probably love and rejection. But there is a point, where it stops applying to me. It's when—urgh! I'll finish that thought later. Harry Ron and Draco are banging on my door and begging me—no seriously, they are begging me, to go outside with them and play in the snow. So...I'll be back!
Once the quartet was outside and standing together on top of a rather large and rather steep hill, the three guys pulled a plastic, circular sled out from behind the bushes. They gestured to the sled. "Okay, Hermione are you ready?" asked Harry.
"You and Draco have to share this sled. We are trying to get you over your incredibly nonsensical fear of sledding. So would you prefer to sit in the back or the front?"
Hermione looked at them incredulously. "Are you crazy? If I sit in the back, I'm sure to fall off!"
The boys all sighed. "Well then you can sit in the front." Harry said quickly, not wanting Hermione to find any way out of the sled ride.
Ron, tactless as ever, butted in. "...but then you'd have to control the sled and Merlin knows you don't want to do that!"
Harry and Draco glared furiously at the youngest Weasley boy. He truly was thicker than a troll. Hermione now looked even more apprehensive than ever.
"Is there a way for me to be in the front without having to steer the sled?"
Harry and Ron exchanged uneasy looks. Draco caught on to their train of thought and looked torn between being hopefully excited and nervous.
"Actually," Harry started, "there is a way..." he looked at Draco for agreement, because without that, then this wouldn't work.
Draco nodded to Harry and then got on the bright green sled on the ground before him.
"Hermione, don't freak out, but you are going to be in the front."
She started to protest but Harry interrupted her. "It's fine, you wont be steering, don't worry; but I do have a question for you."
"Yes?" Her nervousness had abated somewhat, but in a moment, it was back.
"Does seeing the scenery fly by you make you want to puke?"
"Sometimes, why?"
They all rolled their eyes. No wonder she didn't like to play Quidditch.
"Just sit down, Hermione!"
"Where am I supposed to sit?! You said I'm not in the back, but I can't be in the front without having to steer! I am so confused."
Ron was losing his patience. It was definitely not his strong suit. "Sit. Down. In. Front. Of. Draco." He said this slowly, making sure she would get it.
She sat down and it took all of Harry's self-control not to laugh at his friend.
"Turn around and sit facing him."
Hermione's face turned red. "Oh. I get it." Was her quiet response. Gingerly, she turned around to face Draco, who by then, had a slightly pink face, and sat between his legs, cross-legged leaving a foot between them and not touching him in the slightest. She would definitely fall off the sled if she rode like that.
While Ron smothered a laugh behind his hand, Harry laughed loudly at Hermione; not in a mean way, more of a 'you-are-completely-hopeless' way. He was having much more fun than he thought that he would. "Do you want to fall off?"
Hermione's face darkened significantly and she scooted herself closer to him and tentatively wrapped her legs around his hips keeping at least six inches of distance between them.
Identical grins wormed onto the faces of Ron and Harry as they observed the scene in front of them. Draco' legs were spread and Hermione sat between them, her arms around his waist and her legs around his hips. Even though her cheeks weren't visible—she had put her hat and hood on to conceal her face—everyone knew that she probably resembled a tomato.
"You guys ready?"
Hermione didn't say anything but Draco nodded for them both.
"Tallyho!" The two seventh year Gryffindors yelled simultaneously as they pushed the sled with as much force as they could muster.
In less than ten seconds, Draco and Hermione were about fifty feet away from the other two and yet her scream was still crisp and clear. In fear, she squirmed and moved even father into the curve of Draco's body, her hips pressing tightly against his. She put her arms all the way around him and held on tight, burying her head into his chest. His whole body stiffened at her movements, especially at the newfound contact of their lower bodies.
Hermione eyes grew large as she felt him stiffen. She could understand why; they were so close together! She had never been in such proximity to a guy before, much less to one of her best guy friends. It was strangely hot and in her mind, quite a turn on. Draco was definitely not an eyesore, which was a fact that every single female in Hogwarts could agree with. The air rushing past her face was bitter and ice cold, but her whole body, inside and out, was burning up.
Just as Hermione was calming down and getting comfortable, well as comfortable as can be flying down a snowy hill, they hit a small bump. Hermione screeched and clawed into Draco's back with her nails; scratching him slightly. He shivered and he stiffened even more. He was thinking of much more pleasurable reasons for Hermione to be screaming and digging her nails into his back. Imperceptibly, he shook his head. He couldn't be thinking like this. She was one of his best friends! Lost in his inappropriate but very satisfying thoughts, Draco missed avoiding another bump in the hill. Only this time, it wasn't just a lump of snow, it was a rock. The sled hit it and flipped over leaving both teens pinned to the ground under the sled. Hermione with her back on the snow—which was starting to get very cold—Draco on top of her and the sled resting on Draco's back. He took one look at the female beneath him: her warm brown eyes, her red cheeks, petite figure, tumbled chestnut curls that were in quite a state at this point and he lost it.
Suddenly, and without warning, Draco mashed his lips onto Hermione's and kissed her with the passion that had been pent up in his previous and non-platonic thoughts. Hermione was stunned but kissed him back anyway. She let go of her thoughts about their friendship and let herself kiss him the way she'd wanted to since the day she realized she liked him. If Draco was surprised, he didn't let on and instead took her parted lips as a cue to slide his tongue into her.
His hand, the one that wasn't holding her face to his, slowly began to creep up the front of her shirt. Hermione inhaled sharply at the cold touch his hand brought to her stomach. It was cold, but not cold enough for her to stop him. Her feelings of the other four-letter 'L' word—not love—outweighed the frigid temperature. His other ice cold hand slipped up her shirt and his lips moved down and left small butterfly kisses down her neck and on her collar bone. Hermione arched her back in pleasure and her hips pressed into his harder than they had been during the sled ride. Draco let out a small hiss and kissed her harder, leaving on her neck what would soon be hickeys.
The heat between them had just begun to reach its boiling point when they heard footsteps clomping towards them in the snow. It was Ron and Harry to see if they were okay. Hurriedly, Draco got himself off of Hermione and held out his hand to help her up. As Harry and Ron entered the clearing, the two weren't in any compromising situations, but both of their faces were completely red and they were breathing heavily as if they too had just run full speed down a hill as the two Gryffindor boys just did. Harry and Ron noticed their peculiar state and a knowing look was passed between them. Hermione didn't notice for she was rubbing her neck—the same place that Draco's lips had just been—and she was looking at the snow carefully. Draco, on the other hand, was starting intensely at Hermione.
The rest of the day was quite uneventful compared to the sled ride. It wasn't long until it was almost really late and Hermione feigned exhaustion and begged to be allowed to go back to her room. Harry and Ron were somewhat eager to see her go. Without her there, then they might actually get a full story from Draco about what had just happened.
When Hermione was back in her room, she got ready to go to sleep and then went straight back to her diary to write about what had just happened.
Ohmygosh. Did that actually just happen? Wow. Did Draco actually kiss me like that? It. Was. Incredible. I am in shock. Anyway, as I was saying before I was dragged into the snow: ...It's when you unexpectedly get it, you are partly terrified and partly euphoric because you actually accomplished what you wanted and in a way, didn't expect to. I am scared to pieces at this point, that whole thing from Ginny is so true! Now I can see it. I don't want to mess anything up and yet, I do. Not mess things up, but shake them up. You know? Take a chance, be daring and go out on a limb. I think that he'll meet me halfway. At least, that's the impression I got from...today. But all the while, I am absolutely freaking ecstatic!
I still can't believe what just happened. I mean, wow. Who'd have thought? Me: Hermione Granger, with Draco Malfoy; my third best guy friend. I think I'll just go to sleep now. I don't want to read too much into this, yet. Although I don't see how I can't NOT read into it! We were getting pretty serious out there. I've never wanted a guy, in that way so much before. If Harry and Ron hadn't come down and checked if we were okay after the fall, I don't know what would have happened. But there's always tomorrow, right? But not to do that (per se), just to see where Draco and I stand. I doubt anything will be the same anymore. Hmm, hopefully there will still be snow!
Goodnight! I'm positive that I will have the sweetest of dreams tonight!
Forever,
Hermione
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AN2: I found this chapter fun to write! Please review!!!
NOTE: Wow, all of these really concerned reviews made me smile. Don't worry—I'm not as depressed and unstable as I may have sounded. I was just having a completely off day and I was totally bummed about pretty much everything. I'm...decent now! :)
Thanks so much for caring! :D
Lovelove, Amanda
TO DUCKY:
This chapter may have been filled with happiness and laughter,
But I know it wasn't quite the kind you were after.
The happiness wasn't from my fairytale come true,
It was simply something projected, straight from me to you.
And the laughter, well it wasn't really in the story,
It was probably what you did while reading my newest glory.
I've been working on it for almost a month,
So it isn't new at all, to be terribly blunt.
Now wait, here's an idea, I know just what I'll do,
I'll see if I can project these feelings onto someone that's new.
Maybe he'll be one that I actually have a chance with,
If not, then quite frankly, I'll be very p-ssed.
You'd think that by now, my lesson would have been learned,
But no, instead I'm headed down the path to be burned.
Ahh, so here's to the wish of impossible love,
And to hoping I won't be like that sad turtle dove.
Hmm, just as a postscript, I think I will say,
I know just who can help wipe my feelings for ...him... away!
I've mentioned him before, but I ...forgot... to tell you,
Of something before yesterday he did that made me less blue!
If you would like to know, you may have to remind me,
Be sure to mention something about a bench and then smiling.
You can't say that I didn't give you a warning,
But if I don't remember—which I may not—please don't harm me!
I've taken one giant step forward and two million steps back,
Just when I thought that I was finally back on track.
Yes, I'm being melodramatic, that I do know,
But you know what; f-cking S and F need to go.
And so must ...he... I've had it, I'm done,
I don't want to be the unlucky, miserable one.
The resemblance to the movie, you must admit, is quite uncanny,
Despite that, I don't think I should be entertaining this fantasy.
He can have whom he pleases, though I know it won't be me,
And I'll stick to my sadness, though I know you don't agree.
Until that new song I know of finally comes true,
I'll just have to keep trying, and wish better luck to you!
I'm done with this poem, but suffice to say,
I'll be hearing from you on this very same day
So please, as always, just leave a review,
And you know I will get right back to you!
TOP THAT! Word to your mother! Hahaha.