Come home
Enjoy New Year. See you in 2013.
10/11/98
"You know, you only have to ask to take the lift." Adam said to Fiona as they reached the top of the last flight of stairs to the office. "You don't need to struggle on like this; I know you're tough, you don't need to prove it." Fiona took a moment to reply, she was quite badly out of breath.
"I'm fine Adam."
"Fi, you're seven months pregnant. No one expects you to be springing about like a gazelle."
"Adam," She repeated, "I'm fine, and I doubt I'll be the slowest this morning." Adam smiled. Sam, Jack and Zaf had gone out on the town last night.
"I think they were looking for girls rather than to get drunk." He said, stepping in to the pods. Only Greg was currently abroad. Sarah was at her desk, so were Jack and Zaf. "You made it in on time then."
"Of course we did." Zaf answered, not bothering to look up.
"Good night?"
"Excellent." Sam said, walking in with a pile of paper. "Should do Thursdays more often. Very favourable ratio."
"Ratio of what?" Tash followed Fiona through the pods.
"Men to women." Sam started to search through the papers. "Zaf did well, very well. We should try him for honey traps." Zaf smiled.
"How pretty was the girl?" Adam asked, sitting down. "Catching a plain girl quickly doesn't require any skill."
"No," Sam replied. "The girl was pretty. I'd say she was a six-and-a-half, maybe a seven."
"If she was a seven," Zaf cut in, "what's your idea of a nine?"
"Eight?" Jack suggested.
"Stop objectifying women's bodies." Sarah ordered. No one listened. Sarah's sporadic attempts to stop the men in the unit from being sexist were a standing joke, and it was almost worth enduring Fiona's death-stare just to wind Sarah up.
"No, mine was an eight." Sam protested. "And she was better looking than Zaf's."
"She was not." Jack protested. "He did better than either of us."
"Fine." Sarah said loudly. "Tash, Fiona, what do you thing Sam looks like without his shirt on?" Sam didn't react in the slightest, which Adam thought was impressive.
"What did she look like then?" Adam asked, feeling Fiona's eyes burning in to the side of his head.
"White, brown chest hair, muscley shoulders?" Tash suggested. "He fights so..."
"Tall, blonde, Nordic looking." Jack answered. "Zaf likes them lean, apparently."
"Do you think he's got back hair?" Sarah asked Tash loudly.
"She wasn't that thin." Zaf said, almost as if defending himself. Adam stayed quiet, wondering what he could say to most annoy Sarah, without incurring Fiona's wrath.
"Maybe." Tash shrugged. "He has got hairy arms."
"Some of the girls there were like mops." Jack remarked. Adam shook his head.
"That's just not attractive, is it?"
"What about Adam?" Sarah asked determinedly.
"Vanessa wasn't that thin." Zaf repeated defensively.
"Well, he's blonder than Sam, ain't he?" Tash replied.
"We're wired to go for physical indicators of fertility, that's what it comes down to." Adam ventured, thinking it would offend Sarah, but not Fiona.
"We could just as Fiona." Sarah's voice had got louder. Good sign. "Fiona, what does Adam look like without his shirt on?"
"What, broad hips and so on?" Sam asked. Fiona leaned towards Sarah and stage-whispered.
"That's for me to know, and enjoy, and you to wonder."
"Clear skin." Adam added.
"How well is he-"
"Enough!" Chris barked, walking in. "How old are you? Sam, is all the briefing material ready?"
"Of course, Chris. I did that first." Sam replied innocently.
"If this is what happens when seven of you are in the office at once, I'd better send one or two of you off to Malaysia or similar. Briefing, all of you, on the double!"