Two Birds, One Stone
Once again Sheldon found himself alone in his living room, but not in the idyllic state of an hour ago. The ruins of his 3,417 piece Lego Death Star lay scattered around the room. Some of the pieces had been pulverized. And although the goddesses were gone, the apple that had caused all the trouble was not. There he stood with an unwanted yet priceless object in his hands and no idea what to do with it. Not to mention that without the distraction of a supernatural threat the mess was impossible to ignore. He sat back down and turned the heavy object in his hands as he looked it over. It hadn't suffered a scratch in the fall and was truly lovely, but the problems it could cause were reminiscent of The One Ring of Sauron. He reread the divisive Greek lettering. Well, he knew one thing for sure. He couldn't give it to his friends and he was not about to hop on a flight to Hawaii to try and drop it in a volcano. He had a schedule to keep, after all. He put it down on the coffee table and stroked his chin.
This is nothing compared to the bullet I just dodged. I don't have to solve the secrets of the universe here. I just have to get rid of it. And just like that, he had the answer. In fact, he thought, looking at the mess around him, it's the perfect solution.
The font on this website is a little limiting. The actual ad is much more impressive if you want to check it out. The posting ID is real but FanFiction rules prevent me from posting a direct link.
What? All those hookers and baby sellers are OK but Craigslist can't spare a little sense of humor for me?
CLlos angeles craigslistsan gabriel valleyantiques-by owner
May 29- Apple of Discord-mint-(Pasadena) pic
Apple of Discord, mint condition (Pasadena)
Date: 2012-05-28, 9:48PM PDT
Reply to: . . .scd [Errors when replying to ads?]
FOR SALE- 1 GOLDEN APPLE
-Psbly solid gold. Unverified.
-Free from dmg/tarnish/blemishes
-Inscribed: καλλίστῃ (Greek: To The Fairest)
-Excellent addition to collection of Hellenic antiquities/cursed objects. Not recommended as a gift.
-Will trade for 1 Lego Death Star II kit model 4250427 (will not accept lame 10188 version) All pieces must be accounted for before completion of transaction.
-CAVEAT EMPTOR: Ownership may be disputed. Bitches be crazy.
Please address all inquiries to ######
-Location: Pasadena
-it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 3050201925
For the record, "Sheldon" has gotten ten offers and four counteroffers but no one could follow through on the Death Star. I'm sorry to say he got a little rude with his responses. I guess their brains turned off when they saw SOLID GOLD skipped over all the crazy. Muggles. What can you do?
X
I know I said this would be it, but there's one more chapter to go now. Stop being all 'inspiring' with your reviews! (Ignore that, I love them.)