Santana.

Somehow I managed to keep my composure for the trip home and made it to my parents house without crying. I was hoping that I maybe cried all my tears out but I knew that wasn't the case. When I got inside my house I knew that no one was home. My parents both told me they wouldn't be home when I got there. It's just after six and I'm sitting on the couch in an empty house that surrounds me with memories of Brittany. The only thing I can think to do is press her name in my phone and hit the send button. My hand shakes as I raise the phone to my ear and hear the sound of it ringing. It only takes two rings before she answers.

"Santana." She says and her voice sounds soft and tired.

"Brittany." I reply. I'm not sure why I called. Maybe I just needed to hear her voice. Now I feel awkward because I don't know what to say but the great thing about Brittany is that she always knows what to say.

"Lord Tubbington just ate an entire pot of melted cheese and he's been farting nonstop ever since. He hasn't been this gassy since the last time I caught him smoking crack." She says and I can't help the small smile that forms on my lips for the first time in I can't remember how long. She always has a way of doing this to me. I can never keep my icy demeanor with her because she's pure sunshine and melts me into a puddle of sappy fucking goo. I always try to show people that I'm a hardass and it's always been that way but as much as I don't like to admit it to people, she's got me so whipped it's unreal.

"You better get a gas mask before you pass out from those toxic fumes." I tell her and she lets out a soft chuckle that warms my entire body with a comfort only Britt makes me feel. I love that we can just talk to each other like normal even in times when we have no idea what's going on between us. I just know we're both hurting and the only thing that eases that pain is the sound of her voice.

"I'm immuned to Tubs farts. If you were here you'd need a gas mask." She says.

"That barrel with legs would be exiled from your room if I were there." I admit.

"That's not nice Tana. I thought you two were finally getting along the last time you were here." She replies.

"That cat will always have it out for me. I even gave him a piece of my cupcake last time I was there and he still hissed at me as I was leaving. I think he's jealous you like me more than him." I say.

"Shh. San he doesn't need to know that."

"I miss you." I blurt out before thinking. I take a deep breath and hold it in because I feel like it might take the words back even though I meant them more than I could explain.

"I miss you too. I wish you were here." She replies and I exhale all the anxiety that rushed over me in that split second.

"I'm in Lima. I came home to do laundry."

"I'll be over in ten minutes." She says before hanging up the phone. I didn't even have a chance to say anything back before she was off the line. I wonder if she hung up that quickly so I wouldn't have a chance to object. My hearts beating a thousand times faster now that I know she's coming over.

It's less than ten minutes when Brittany rings the doorbell. I actually don't remember the last time she rang the doorbell. I even jumped when the noise split through the silence of the living room as I paced around.

"Why didn't you just walk in?" I ask when I open the front door to let her in. She looks beautiful as always. She's wearing red cheerios track pants and a white nike hoodie. Her hair is up in a loose ponytail and she's not wearing any make up, but she looks gorgeous. Her eyes are a little puffy and red so I could tell she'd been crying at some point earlier.

"I don't know." She says before walking inside and coming straight for me. Her arms are around my shoulders and pulling me in for a tight hug before I have the chance to know what's happening. I quickly wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head against her shoulder. We stand there for a minute in silence just breathing each other in and relaxing at the feeling of each others arms. Being in my parents house didn't make me feel at home but this, standing here in Brittany's arms, is home.

"I didn't know you were coming home this weekend." She says when we pulled apart reluctantly. She starts walking towards the stairs and I shake my head and walk towards the living room.

"I figured it could be a surprise... let's hang out in the living room... my parents aren't home." I tell her as we sit down on the couch. There's plenty of space for her to sit on her own side but she sits close enough so that her knee is resting on my thigh when she tucks one foot under her other leg.

"What's wrong with your room?" She asks curiously. I shrug as a response and she looks down at her lap. I know she realizes that we have a billion memories in my bedroom that I can't seem to face right now. Sure, we have a billion memories anywhere in my house, sexual and not sexual, but my room was like our own little bubble away from the world.

"How's school going?" She asks and I know she's trying to change the topic to stop me from being sad. I shrug and look down at my lap before forcing a smile and looking back into her eyes.

"It's great. Cheerleading is tiring and I have a huge workload with my schedule this semester but it's great." I reply and hope she doesn't ask me for more details.

"How about you? How's everything going with school?" I ask to change the subject and because I'm curious. I just want her to do well because I know she's smarter than anyone gives her credit for. I know it's just the fact that she's too smart for them and she just gets bored with their stupid books and repetitive busy work.

"I've been doing better. I got a B minus on my last math test. I've bumped my grade up to a B plus in history. Mrs. Pilsbury has been helping me study. She's starting to understand me a little better and it's helped having her explain things to me in a different way. It's just not as fun being at school without you." She explains. I smile at her because her eyes are so honest and they're sparkling at me and I'm getting lost in that sea of aqua blue. She smiles back at me and it sends this rush of excitement through my body and kickstarts my heart back into a steady rhythm. She is just so damn perfect.

"That's amazing Britts. It's totally not fun being at school without you." I admit. My eyes flicker down to her lips and I know she saw it because she's licking her bottom lip and biting it a little at the corner. The sight makes my breath hitch and the need to kiss her is overwhelming. I won't do it because I'm not sure where the line is between us right now and I almost always let Brittany decide these types of things. She's moving towards me now and I realize that I haven't let out that breath and I exhale quickly before she steals my breath away again. Her eyes are slowly closing so I follow her lead and go ten to her ninety before our lips meet in a desperate kiss. I can't hold back anymore as my hands move without my consent and wrap around her neck pulling her closer. She slides her tongue across my bottom lip and nips at it softly tugging with her teeth. I let out a gasp and suck her bottom lip between my own. This kiss is everything. It's the things we don't have to say because we just know. It's the antidote to the pain we've both been feeling since we parted ways when I left for Louisville. It's the only thing that makes me feel whole.

It takes several minutes and wandering hands before we break apart and gasp for air. She looks at me with those fierce blue eyes and all I see is desperation and need. I feel it too and it's overpowering. I need her sweet lady kisses. I need her skin against mine. I need to feel every part of her in every way that I can. It's seconds before she jumps at me and her lips attack the sweet spot between my neck and shoulder. My hearts racing and I can feel the shakiness of my hands as I slide them down her hoodie and rest them at the small of her back. She pushes me down against the couch and lays flush against me. She starts tugging at my t shirt and I know exactly what she wants. I'm just about to pull the shirt over my head when I hear the front door open around the corner. Brittany jumps up and moves to sit on the opposite end of the couch. I try to catch my breath as my heart races in my chest from the built up adrenaline that flows through me whenever I kiss Brittany. I sit up and lean back against the couch.

"Santanita! It's so good to see you mi amor." My mom says as she walks into the room. She looks back and forth between Brittany and me. She smiles at Brittany and moves in to hug me.

"Hello Brittany, it's great to see you too." She adds.

"Hola Maribel." Brittany says with her bright smile. Mom walks over to her and hugs her as well.

"Are you girls hungry?" She asks as she walks towards the kitchen. She pauses in the doorway and looks back at us.

"I'll just go cook some dinner. I'll let you know when it's ready." She says before turning around and walking into the kitchen.

Brittany looks over at me and bites her bottom lip through the smile that's plastered across her face. I can't help but smile back. I lost count years ago on how many times we've been twat swatted by my parents coming home unannounced while we got our mack on in the living room. We usually would just go up to my room and lock the door after to finish what we started. I see her eyes move towards the doorway behind me that leads to the stairs.

"So..." I breathe out to break the silence.

"Can we go up to your room?" She asks and I want to say yes but I'm scared of how I'll feel once I'm in that bubble with her. I swallow the lump in my throat and manage a simple nod. Brittany just smiles at me and reaches out her hand for my own. I slide my fingers into the spaces between hers and follow her towards the stairs. She leads the way to my bedroom and I close the door behind us. I'm not sure if I need to lock it but Brittany answers that question by doing it herself. I smile nervously as she walks to my bed and sits down. Just the smell of my room reminds me of all the times I'd spent with her locked away in here. The countless hours we spent in my bed wrapped around one another could never fade from my memory. I take a deep breath and move towards Brittany and my bed. The bed that we had sex in the first time and the first time we made love was also in this bed after we admitted our feelings for one another.

I sit down next to her and our legs are resting against one another. There's still that same buzzing feeling that overpowers me whenever we touch. It's like she's a force of electricity that sends a current running through my veins. She looks at me with those same eyes from before and I know exactly what's going to happen. I'm scared of what we're about to do. I know we can't stop it now because the need is too powerful and we're too close to one another to be in control of our bodies or minds. It's like a spell has come over us when we get like this. It's me that closes the gap between us this time as I guide Brittany back against the bed and without pulling my lips away from hers. This kiss is full of passion and need more than anything I've ever felt. It makes my heart skip a beat when she slides her hands down my back and pulls me down hard against her. I gasp into her mouth when her nails dig into the skin at the small of my back and scratch down towards my side.

It's all a blur of lips, teeth, fingers, and tongues until we're naked and Brittany's straddling my hips. She's staring down at me with those dark blue eyes and all I see is admiration. It's the same way I'm looking up at her which makes my breath hitch and the string around my heart tighten until my chest feels tight as well. I try to take a deep breath but it's like I'm suffocating in my love for this girl. The way she's looking at me is making my mind go blank and everything's overflowing with so many different feelings. I try to stop them but it's too late when I feel the tears pooling in my eyes. Brittany's expression changes quickly to worry and shock. It's almost immediate when she leans down and wraps her arms around me in a tight embrace.

I take a deep breath and let the calming affect run over me as Brittany hums softly next to my ear. I recognize the tune as 'You are my sunshine', which I've always sang to her when she was sick, sad, or crying. My heart feels like it could explode with how much love I have for her and it's throbbing against my ribcage. I feel one last tear slide down my cheek before I wrap my arms around Brittany's waist and hug her tight against me.

"I'm sorry." I let out with a deep breath.

Ugh it's so damn sad. Wah. Let me know what you think. Thanks for the reviews :] I'll reply to them in my next update. Enjoy.