Brittany.
I know the unofficial break up really was us breaking up but she's here now and we're lying naked in her bed. She stopped crying a few minutes ago but I'm still holding onto her like I might float away if I ever let go. The past few weeks have been miserable at best. I know she thinks she's doing the right thing and maybe she's right but it doesn't feel like it. Anything that doesn't involve us being together forever just feels so wrong. It's like saying that unicorns aren't magical when everyone knows that they are. It's like trying to tell Lord Tubbington he doesn't get seconds when he knows I'm going to break down and fill his bowl again.
The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that we are soulmates and there's no way this break up will last. I know Santana. If there's one thing in this world that I'm the best at it's knowing Santana. I'm pretty good at dancing, and easing awkward tensions but I'm the best at Santana. I know when it's time to push her and when it's time to give her space and let her figure things out for herself. This is one of those times where I need to give her space. I don't mean space like stay away from her, what I mean is I can't push the issue of us being together because it will just make things harder for both of us. Her breathing is staggered which tells me she's stuck in her head and thinking too much. I pull away slowly and look at her as she opens her eyes to look back at me.
"Why did you say you're sorry?" I finally ask.
"Because I really wanted to continue but I was just overwhelmed. I seriously love you so fucking much sometimes it feels like my heart might explode. It just hurts to know the way that things are between us right now." She admits.
"Remember that time when you went on vacation with your parents to Puerto Rico and my parents wouldn't let me go? We both begged and begged but they wouldn't budge. You were gone for a month and we were both miserable the whole time. We knew that it was only a month apart and we'd reunite as soon as you got home but it still sucked. We barely got to talk on the phone and didn't even have skype back then. This is kinda like that... we're just separated by distance... but we both know deep down that we'll always be each others. I'll always be yours and you'll always be mine, no matter what. Even though we aren't technically together, we still love each other the most. Nothing can ever change that." I tell her. She smiles up at me before reaching her hand up to cup my cheek. Her eyes are always best at showing how much she loves me, it's something in the sparkle they have every time she looks at me.
"You are so smart." She says before leaning upward to capture my lips in a soft kiss. It doesn't last long before she lays her head back down on the pillow.
"I really want to get my lady sex on but I don't want to make you cry again." I admit. She chuckles softly before grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me into a heated kiss. Her thigh slides between my legs and if it were anyone but Santana I'd be embarrassed by the pool of wetness she finds there. If it were anyone but Santana there wouldn't be anything to be embarrassed about because no one turns me on like she does. I can't stop the gasp that escapes my lips when she grinds up into my core with her thigh.
"You're so fucking wet for me Britt." She rasps before biting my bottom lip. I slide my hand down her torso and trace my way down to her hip before pausing and looking into her eyes. She nods and I continue my descent to the magical place between her legs. My finger doesn't even make it between her folds before I'm met with her wet heat. I slide my finger between her slit and trace over her clit before diving down to her entrance. I tease her a few times by dipping the tip of my finger in slightly before pulling out and sliding the wetness back up to her clit. She moans into my mouth and sends a throbbing feeling between my legs.
"Britt.. baby... please." She begs against my lips. I smile into the kiss and slide my finger deeper inside her. She bucks up into my hand and her walls are tight around me.
There's a knock at the door and it pulls us from our sex haze. Santana growls in frustration and I just let out a soft whine.
"Dinner's ready girls. Come downstairs and eat. The least you can do is spend dinner with your family when you come home Santana." Maribel says through the door. Santana rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh.
"If my lady balls weren't already blue... I think they might fall off." I joke to ease the tension. She laughs and pushes me up slightly.
"Come on Casanova, we gotta get down there before she comes back and starts speaking Spanish." Santana says as we both sit up and look around the room for our clothes. We get dressed and she helps me put my hair back into a ponytail and I help with hers. When we're suitable in appearance for a family dinner we make our way out the door and down the stairs.
"So glad you girls could join us for dinner. I didn't think we'd get you out of that bedroom." Marko says with a deep chuckle following his words.
"We wouldn't miss family dinner time Papi. How are you?" Santana says as she wraps her arms around his shoulders and kisses his forehead.
"I'm better now that my favorite daughter is home for a visit. It's too quiet around here without your snarky remarks. Your mother and I have no idea what to do with ourselves. We spend most of our time in separate rooms wondering when you'll be back to entertain us again." He jokes with a playful look towards Maribel.
"Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly how things are going with me out of the house." She replies. He laughs harder than before and Maribel rolls her eyes and smiles.
"If I could get him to leave me alone for two seconds I'd be much less exhausted." Maribel said and I couldn't help the disgusted look that slid across my face.
"Ew. TMI. What you old people do in your free time is to be kept a secret unless it involves doing crosswords or cooking me dinner." Santana says with the same disgusted look. All of this just feels so normal and like nothing bad ever happened between Santana and me. I mean for a split second I forget all about our break up and rest my hand on her leg under the table. She looks over at me with a small smile and her parents are staring back and forth between us with curious looks.
The rest of dinner went on as usual with some conversations about how school was going for Santana and me. It seemed like Santana's parents didn't even know about our break up but I was sure they could sense the change even if we were acting mostly normal. After dinner Santana's parents went upstairs and locked themselves away in their bedroom to watch late night television. Santana and I did the dishes like we always did after dinner. She washed while I rinsed and dried.
"You know someday we'll have kids to do this for us." I blurted out and she just looked at me in shock. It's not like we hadn't talked about it before. I mean Santana isn't really a kid person but I had worn her down to admitting she's thought about us having a family together.
"We're not going to use our kids as personal slaves." She says with a serious face. I smile at her and shake my head.
"It's not slavery, it's like what every parent does with their kids. I think that's even the reason why people even have kids." I tell her.
"You might be right." She says before she takes a handful of bubbles and blows them at my face. The bubbles hit me right on the nose and then floated down before landing on my sweatshirt.
"Did you just declare a bubble war?" I ask. She smiles and shrugs her shoulders. I hit my hand into the water and splash some bubbles and water towards her. She yelps and jumps back after splashing water back at me. We're laughing when I grab more bubbles and rub them across her cheeks before sliding my hands down her neck.
"Oh my God!" She half screams, half whispers. She reaches into the sink and grabs more bubbles before running her soapy fingers through my hair. I'm laughing so hard, I can't remember the last time I laughed like this but I know I was with Santana. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her against me before catching her lips in a soft kiss.
"Tastes like soap." She says when she pulls away with a smile.
"I've never tasted soap this good. I mean that raspberry chocolate flavored soap was pretty good but not nearly as delicious as this." I say before kissing her again.
"You are the cutest dork I've ever met." She says before kissing me again.
I pull away and rest my face in the crook of her neck that's still wet from our bubble war. I didn't want to ever move from this place and I never wanted this moment to end. I knew that after Santana went back to Louisville things would go back to the way they were after our break up. I mean everything is normal when we're together but when we're apart it reminds me that we actually are apart and the pain comes back.
"I don't want to go back to Louisville." She admits. I let out a deep sigh and pull away slowly.
"You have to San." I tell her and she rolls her eyes.
"You're right. I have to but I really don't think it's for me." She tells me with an honest tone.
"Just give it some more time and if you don't like it after this semester you can figure out where you want to go from there. You've never been one to give up on something and I don't think you want to start now." I tell her and she smiles softly.
"You're right. As always. So damn smart." She says before kissing my forehead and pulling away to drain the water from the sink.
We walk back up the stairs to her room and take a seat back on her bed. The silence between us isn't uncomfortable or awkward but I wish I knew what to say. Santana thinks I always know what to say but sometimes I get lost and I can't find the right words to make her smile. She's staring at me with those chocolate eyes that show her admiration for me.
"Will you stay the night?" She asks and her voice sounds so timid it almost breaks my heart. I nod my head yes and she smiles that smile reserved just for me.
Quick update. Hope you like it. They can't not be a couple when they're around each other... it's impossible.
Emmaisalesbian- I'm glad you like it! I'm actually loving writing it so far and think it's gonna be going for awhile.
Jazzmonte- thanks love. I figured it had to start with Santana's point of view because she is the one who decided on the break up. Can't wait to hear more from you :]