Good morning! A new week! Thanks to so many that have pimped, and yelled and begged for more updates. Love you guys hard. Thanks for sticking it out, you dirty girls!

SM owns Twilight… I own a lot of nothing really. Air... I own a lot of hot air…

Hate Me- Blue October

~~oo~~

Chapter 15: You have a guest.

EPOV

I was nothing but a chicken shit.

I made her think I was disinterested in her.

And it made me feel worse than I had in the morning.

The look on her face as she realized my outright rejection of her kept me from the bathrooms the rest of school, but by the time the dismissal bell rang, I was desperate to see her again.

To tell her that I was so much more interested in her than I should ever be.

I watched as she made her way to the library, the pout on her lips making them more plump than usual. And her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail.

Something to grab onto…

I growled low, scaring a few of the freshman walking past me.

As soon as she disappeared into the library, I took a step towards the building.

Just go in.

You can behave yourself.

Apologize to her. Beg. Plead for forgiveness.

Make those pouting lips smile.

Or pout for a different reason.

Fuck.

The interior of my car ended up the safest place for both of us.

It was better not to be around her.

I thought about driving around once more, nervous to meet with Carlisle today. Having not met with him the night prior, I was sure he would question everything. And doubt my answers I gave him today.

Five times today.

That was it.

He'd never believe me.

I scrubbed at my head as I drove, more confused now than when I had first come to this town.

Did I lie to him about Bella? Or lie to him about how many times I jacked off today?

I had already lost any chance at her, so what did I lose by saying something about her?

Maybe Carlisle could write a note explaining to Mr. Banner.

What exactly?

I was allergic to her?

I was screwed any way I looked at it.

I turned off onto our driveway and tried to gain enough courage to face my father.

I heaved a sigh of relief when I noticed his car was missing.

Maybe he was working the late shift.

I snuck into the house, heading up into the bathroom to wash away the day.

Which if course led to number six.

The idea of Bella in the library was to blame.

I could feel her again against me, and with pleasured guilt, I enjoyed a moment for just myself.

It was entirely too short-lived.

I wondered if I stood in there long enough, I could go for seven. Carlisle might believe seven and not question it.

I couldn't bring myself to try, feeling dirty now for still thinking of Bella that way.

I let the water wash away all the evidence and retreated to my bedroom. But I felt trapped in there as I paced and tried to settle down.

I kept thinking about leaving Bella at the library.

About how much angrier she'd be the next day.

What was I going to do then?

Pacing was helping only to make me more stressed. I needed to calm down.

And thanks to Esme, I realized the one place I needed to be was in the music room. The room invited me in like an old friend, and I immediately found some relief from my troubled thoughts. The music was easy to get back to. I found my fingers liked the touch of the cool keys; my ears enjoyed the sounds as they formed. My body calmed and I could even smile to myself as I played.

I'd have to thank Esme for showing me this bit of escape.

I could almost forget about her.

I could forget about the last year.

About everything that had gone wrong.

I closed my eyes and continued to play, even when I heard the doorbell and then Carlisle's voice calling for me. It could wait.

"Edward?"

My hands paused over the keys to Esme's voice at the door.

Opening my eyes slowly, I turned to see her there at the door, a guarded smile on her face.

"Edward," she said again. "You have a guest."

I frowned at her words and stood slowly, confused at the idea I'd ever have a guest.

Her smile widened and she let me pass, walking towards the foyer where I could hear Carlisle talking. I froze in my place as I turned into the foyer, seeing the only person I never thought would ever step into my home.

"Bella."

She turned at the sound of my voice, her face a little pink and looking uncomfortable as she stood beside my father. She was drenched from the downpour outside, holding her backpack close to her chest as she studied the floor. She had a hard time looking me in the eye.

Carlisle on the other hand looked directly at me, a smug smile on his face.

"You didn't tell us about Bella, Edward," he said, and I could hear the accusation laced in his words.

"We were just paired up yesterday," Bella said quietly, glancing at me briefly before fiddling with her coat again.

"Please, come in, Bella. You look soaked. Edward, go get one of your sweatshirts while we dry Bella's," Esme was saying beside me.

I swallowed at the idea of Bella wearing my clothes, and was glad I had on a long sweatshirt myself as I felt the pull Bella had on me wake up once more. In order to distract me, I nodded and hurried upstairs to grab one of my clean sweatshirts. To say I was excited to have her wear it was one thing. The idea that I'd get it back and it would smell like her made me change into my jeans again.

The sweat pants I was wearing gave too much away.

Coming back downstairs I heard their voices in the dining room. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing for the worst. I walked in just as Carlisle was asking her about her recent move.

"I'm from Phoenix, actually," she was saying in that soft and timid voice I loved to hear. "I just moved here a couple of weeks ago."

Carlisle smiled and looked over at me, nodding as if he had put two and two together about my sudden change in my behavior.

"Bella was just telling us that you had a project that you are working on together," he said, his voice professional, his eyes taking in every move either one of us made.

Bella looked up at me, her eyes like a scared animal as she watched me walk in a little closer and hand her my sweatshirt.

"I just wanted to drop some stuff off for you," she started.

"Nonsense," Carlisle said brightly. "Stay for dinner! You two can work on your project until it's ready."

"Oh, I don't want to impose," she stammered and pushed my shirt back towards me.

Carlisle watched my stance stiffen when her hand accidently touched my stomach.

I was totally fucked now.

"It's no problem, sweetie," Esme explained and smiled down at her, Bella's face relaxing some at my mother's kind face.

My mom was like that. She could make anyone feel at home, even with monsters all around.

Bella looked up at me askance.

If I said no, she would be more upset and Carlisle would know I was guilty.

If I said yes, I could explain. And Carlisle would still know I was guilty.

But I could fix this.

See her.

Talk with her.

"Stay for dinner," I whispered. "We can talk… about the assignment."

"Excellent!" Carlisle exclaimed, startling both Bella and myself. "So what is the project on?"

Esme reached for husband's hand and laughed.

"I think they can talk about it without us intruding on them, Carlisle!" she said and looked at me intently. "We'll be in the next room if you need anything, sweetie."

Carlisle hesitated before clearing his throat and nodding, following her into the kitchen so that Bella and I were left alone.

Alone.

For the first time ever.

"Um," I said, sliding into a chair two places down from her.

"Edward, I didn't mean to be invited in like this," she rushed out in her quiet voice. "I was just really mad. I needed to know why you didn't come when you said you would. If it's about yesterday, I don't…"

I shook my head to silence her and looked at the door where I was sure Carlisle was listening, glass to the door to hear better.

Or maybe his stethoscope.

Regardless it was dangerous to talk with her about that.

I turned back to her to find her glaring at me.

"I'm sorry I didn't go to the library today," I whispered. She frowned and looked over at the door, as if understanding that I was trying to hide that from my parents.

Her face turned from anger to sadness in a blink of an eye and she nodded, pursing her lips at me before she spoke.

"It's fine. I get it," she whispered. "You don't want me here, I totally get it."

"No," I replied, a little too quickly.

More than anything, I wanted her here.

Just not so much in the dinning room. Esme would kill me if we broke the table.

I let out a harsh breath and tried to form the right words.

"I'm not good for you, Bella. I'm a bad person."

"I don't think your bad."

"You don't know me," I whispered and sat a little straighter when she slid into the seat beside me.

Too close.

Bella shook her head and opened her mouth to argue, when we both jumped at the sound of the dining room door opening hard.

"Hey!" my brother Emmett cried out and pointed at Bella. "What are you doing here?"

I looked from Bella to Emmett, at the bemused grin on Emmett's face, to the look of animosity all over Bella's.

"You're Emmett Cullen," she said, her voice taking on a dangerous edge to it.

"And you're here with Eddie?" he asked back, chuckling. "Well that makes sense."

And just like that, Emmett sauntered into the kitchen, laughing as he went.

I looked back at Bella who had her nose turned up and was blushing furiously.

"You know Emmett?" I asked quietly.

She let out a long breath and nodded.

"He's the jerk that I keep bumping into when I try to go into the girls bathroom at gym," she replied. "He's a perverted ass."

I couldn't help but to laugh. He was the perverted one.

She looked at me in surprise, a smile quivering on her lips for a second before she started to laugh with me.

I felt good sitting there laughing with her.

Perhaps this dinner was a good idea after all.

Then again, we had to get through it with my family there too.

That could make it hard.

In more ways than one.

~~oo~~

More soon! Happy Monday!

MWAH!

steph