Santana.
When Brittany walks into my room I'm lying on my stomach on the bed with my laptop in front of me. I was working on some homework but then I got distracted by the internet. I shut my laptop as she walks through the door and I turn my head to see her walking towards me. I smile at her because she looks beautiful as always. I missed her all day. I don't even know how I make it back at school because I literally went a few hours without her today and every minute was torture. I feel pathetic sometimes but then I remember I don't care because it's Brittany we're talking about here. She's been everything to me since day one and I tried to hide it for too long.
"Hey." She says as she sits down on the bed and swings her legs up so she's lying on her back next to me. She's smiling that wide Brittany smile that gets my heart beating so fast that I think I might have a heart attack. Britt always says they're just from loving too much but I didn't think it was possible to love someone or something too much. If such a thing were true, I guess you could classify my love for Brittany as sometimes too much. It's overwhelming at times, the way she makes me feel.
"Hey back." I almost whisper through the smile permanently stuck on my lips whenever she's around. She reaches out her hand and moves a strand of hair out of my face sliding it behind my ear. I instinctively move my face into her hand and she just stays there resting on my cheek. We're just lying here staring into each others eyes as if we'd be lost without one another.
"You're beautiful." It's all I can think and to put the thoughts into words was easier than breathing. She's smiling wider now and my heart is beating faster. She doesn't say anything before she closes her eyes slowly and inches closer to my lips with her own. When she grazes over my lips it tickles and sends shocks through my body and make me ache for more contact. It's only seconds later when she deepens the kiss with her tongue sliding between my lips and dancing with my own. Her hand is still cupping my cheek while mine slide down her side and around to the small of her back where I pull her body against my own.
After a few minutes of kissing passionately, I pull away and rest my face in the crook of her neck. I take deep breaths to breathe in her scent because I want to be surrounded by everything that is Brittany. She's tracing circles on the skin of my arm and the hairs are standing up from goosebumps.
"My parents want to hang out with me before I leave tonight. I'm leaving after my next load of laundry because I have a study group tomorrow afternoon and I'd rather sleep in than wake up early as hell to drive back at the ass crack of dawn. If I leave by eight I'll be home before midnight." I tell her. She frowns at the thought of me leaving and then kisses my forehead.
"Let's go hang with your parents then. Don't want them being mad because I stole all your time away." She replies before pulling away from me slowly. I tighten my arms around her waist and pull her in for another kiss. It's soft and sweet though it only lasts a few seconds.
When we join my parents downstairs they are watching some weird sci-fi movie. My mom doesn't look pleased with the choice but papi seems into it.
"We did not come down here to watch some weird ass movie that makes no fucking sense." I blurt out without thinking. Papi frowns at me and mom just laughs at my outburst.
"Let's play a board game. Remember when we used to have board game nights?" Brittany suggests and moms face lights up at the idea. Brittany always has the best ideas.
"That sounds fun." Mami says before walking over to the hall closet. We had an okay selection of board games. Brittany always wanted to play candyland and my parents always wanted to play monopoly. I always liked playing life.
"Let's vote..." Mami says and pulls out the top three games we always choose from.
"Life, Candyland, or Monopoly?" She says.
"Monopoly." Papi says from his chair while his eyes don't leave the movie.
"Okay Papi and I want Monopoly." She says. Brittany looks over at me as if trying to see what I'll be voting for because she knows we take turns voting for the others favorite so we can beat my parents double vote for monopoly.
"Life." Brittany says smiling at me. I smile back and nod at Mami.
"Yeah we vote life." I say.
"Well looks like a tie breaker. It always seems to come down to this, maybe we should choose a different way next time... you know the rules for tie breakers... rock paper scissors best two out of three." Mami says with a smile. I walk over to her in my ready position with my fist resting on my open hand. It's easy to beat her because she always starts with rock and then does paper.
"Rock, paper, scissors... shoot." She says and slams her rock down onto her fist in triumph. I smile down at my flat paper hand and she frowns at me.
"You always win." She says.
"Maybe if you didn't choose rock every time Mami." I tell her and she rolls her eyes. We play the next round and I beat her again so Britt and I got to choose Life. We all made our way to the dining room table and set up the game. Brittany sat next to me on one side of the table while my parents sat on the other side. The whole situation reminded me of so many memories with not only Brittany but us as a family. She's been welcome here from the very start and when my parents found out about our relationship, they were nothing but overjoyed. I can't say the same about Abuela. She hasn't been to my house since the day I told her. I haven't seen or heard from her since that day and it's been really shitty to lose someone I care so much about just because I love Brittany.
We spent the whole game arguing back and forth when people would steal each others salary or careers. Brittany and I both chose pink pegs when we got married. Her first baby was a boy and mine was a girl. My parents both had baby girls in their cars. It was a fun lighthearted night that made me never want to go back to school. I knew that I had to and I dreaded the thought of being away from Brittany again for so long.
"I can't believe you won. You always freakin' win this game Tana." Brittany says as we were putting the game back into the box. She's shaking her head at me with a wide smile and I just shrug back at her.
"Do you girls want some ice cream?" Mami says on her way into the kitchen. Brittany nods frantically as if she'd die without ice cream and I just smile back.
"Yes, please." I answer and she's off into the kitchen.
"Do you really have to go tonight?" Brittany whines as we put the game back into the closet. I nod my head with a frown and the famous pout takes over her lips.
"I do. I'm sorry. I wish I could just take you with me." I reply. She smiles at the thought and moves in closer to wrap her arms around my waist.
"I do too. I'll miss you so much." I smile and kiss her cheek.
"I'll miss you to the moon and back." I reply.
Mami comes out with sundaes for each of us and we sit on the couch opposite my parents and cuddle up under a blanket with our sundaes. We all just relax in the comfortable silence of the living room and watch the stupid sci-fi movie Papi refuses to change. After the dryer goes off and I'm finished with my sundae, I take the clothes up to my room and Brittany helps me fold them as usual.
"I don't want to be with anyone else San." She says out of nowhere as she folds my favorite black v neck.
"I don't want to be with anyone else either, Britt. I just don't feel like it's fair that I can't give you what you deserve in a relationship right now. I can't stand hurting you. You know it'd be okay if you did have an attraction to someone else. I don't want to hold you back from happiness, ever." I tell her. It hurts to say and it hurts even more to think of her with someone else but then I remind myself that it's not about my happiness, it's about her happiness. All I care about is whether or not she's smiling, not a fake smile, but that real genuinely happy go lucky Brittany smile.
"I hate this." It's all she says for the rest of the time we spend folding clothes and we both focus on the fabrics between our hands without looking at one another.
When I have all my clothes folded and stacked neatly into my laundry baskets, I pack up the rest of my stuff while Brittany watches silently from the bed. She looks conflicted and sad, which makes my heart swell and my mind swim with worry.
"When will you be back?" She asks without looking up from her view of the floor.
"In a few weeks. I'll need to do laundry again and then there's thanksgiving break." I explain. She forces a smile and I know it's forced because she doesn't quite convince her eyes to smile too. I pull her up by her arm and she moves into me. Her arms are quickly around my waist while mine drape over her shoulders. We stand like this silently for awhile before her lips take the final inches to my own.
The kiss feels like goodbye but we both know it's not. We both know we'll never have a real goodbye kiss because we'll always be in one anothers lives one way or another. We're soulmates, I know it and she knows it. Hell, everyone practically knows it.
When we pull away from the kiss our eyes lock in a brief moment of overpowering love for each other. It takes a few more minutes to separate from one another and I look at the clock to see it's ten after eight.
"I really need to get going." I tell her and she sighs.
"I know." She says before grabbing one of my bags and a laundry basket. I follow her down the stairs with the rest of my stuff and she helps me carry it out to my car. We load the stuff inside and then go back to say goodbye to my parents.
"I'm heading back to school now. I'll see you in a few weeks. Call me. I love you." I say when I reach down and hug both of my parents. They smile warmly up at me and nod in response.
"We love you too. Drive safe and make sure to text me when you make it. See you soon." Mami says. I nod and turn towards the door with Brittany standing there waiting for me. I smile at the sight of this beautiful girl that can make my head spin, my hands sweat, and my heart beat faster than a speeding bullet.
"I love you more than I ever imagined I'd be capable of loving someone. I just want you to be happy." I tell her before I slide my arms around her waist and pull her in for another hug. We break the hug apart and walk silently to my car. We're standing outside my drivers side door and my car is running. She staring at me with those fragile eyes that tell me as soon as I leave she's going to be crying. It breaks my heart to picture her cry. I close the distance between us and kiss each side of her face and her forehead before making my way to her lips.
We stay kissing like this for a few minutes before she pulls away. Her breath is shaky and her eyes are sad.
"You have to go S. Text me when you make it home safely. I love you so much." She says before kissing my lips again quickly.
"I love you too. I will." I tell her before getting into my car. She walks down my driveway to the sidewalk and starts walking towards her house. I pull out of my driveway and slowly drive along side her.
"Do you want a ride home?" I ask. I see the tears threatening to fall but I don't say anything. I'm surprised my eyes are dry because on the inside it feels like my heart is being torn to pieces.
"No, I need some fresh air." She says without looking over to me.
"I love you." I say before pulling away and slowly driving towards the highway. I heard her say I love you too before I closed my window and turned up my music. It was going to be a long drive back to Louisville and I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold it together the whole way like I did on my way to Lima.
Thanks for the reviews. Not commenting on the angst to come because I don't want to ruin the story. Just bare with me, Brittana is and always will be endgame.
fillthevoid- i hate bram... they have no romantic chemistry. it's forced and they should be bro's for life.
Jazzmonte- i can't picture them not acting like they're together no matter what their status is.
guest- haha I feel like brittany loses a lot of her clothes randomly during their sexy times and just doesn't care enough to find them at the time she's just like eh whatever i don't need underwear.
guest- that's why i had to write this because i hate the way they're doing it on the show and i needed to put it out there how i thought it would go for them.