Since this is EPOV of last chapter, I thought maybe I should post this tonight. A few asked questions that are answered here.

So here we go. I need to go lie down and think of fuzzy rubs... :D

Your Touch- The Black Keys

~~oo~~

Chapter 19: Yes, no. Do it now. Show her.

EPOV

I stretched lazily in bed as my mind slowly woke up from a restful sleep. Glancing at the clock, I was surprised it was still so early. I smiled and drew Bella's sweatshirt close to me again, bringing it to my nose.

Sweet.

Now mixed with my own smell.

I groaned softly at the idea of our joined anything and slipped a little further into the sheets, hesitating for a moment at the idea of what I wanted to do and how Esme would know.

She knew already, right?

What was another morning of pleasing myself?

With Bella in my mind, it wasn't difficult to choose anything other than pleasing myself.

I didn't last long, my groans captured inside the softness of her fabric that I nuzzled against my face like a dog with a bone. Sighing and stretching, I cleaned up and tossed the tissues into the trash, hoping to give my mom some satisfaction in not having to discover my dirty secret once again. As much as I wanted to lie around in bed until the last moment for school, I wanted to get there early.

To see her.

As soon as I could.

A quick shower, and dressed for the day, I stuffed Bella's sweatshirt into my bag. I smiled at the thought of carrying a piece of her around all day.

Which then made me remember our little Junior.

I grabbed it and tucked it under my arm, heading downstairs to the kitchen to grab a bite while I filled out the log Bella had shown me for her little flour child. It seemed a silly name, but still made me smile at her sense of humor.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning."

I looked up from the notebook to find Esme smirking at me. She patted me on my shoulder and busied herself with cleaning the remains of my breakfast while I tried to think about all the things I had to fill out.

I didn't want to disappoint Bella.

She had so much detail for her days of journaling.

I felt guilty for having left her on her own for the first couple of days.

Looking at the sack sitting next to my notebook, I wondered why she hadn't dressed it up and decorated it like the other girls. Our sack was just a plain old bag of flour.

Maybe that was her point?

It was blind. Who cared if it was dressed or not. And as much as I wanted to put a face on it, I didn't want to do it without her.

"Bella was nice."

I looked up again at my mother, who had her back to me as she threw away the last of my toast. She didn't turn around to check if I had heard her, she simply continued talking.

"She wasn't very easily shaken by our dynamic," she said. "And she seems to be very smart too."

I tried to look disinterested.

But the truth was, after she had said what she said last night to Carlisle, I wanted to know what she thought of Bella.

"What do you think of her?" she asked.

I shifted in my chair and looked down at my notebook again.

"I don't know," I replied quietly. "She's all right."

"She's pretty."

I remained quiet, not sure what her motive was for saying this.

After Carlisle and his insistence on making me switch classes, I didn't want to admit anything. Would Esme tell me she was a bad idea. Too much temptation?

"Did you take her sweater out of the dryer? She probably wants it back."

Busted.

"Um, yeah. I wanted to put it in my back pack so I wouldn't forget," I said, avoiding her stare.

She was quiet for a moment, wiping down the counter across from me.

"Edward," she whispered. I looked up to find her watching me.

"Mom. It's nothing really."

"Edward, it's all right to like her," she replied, leaning in close beside me. "You know I want what's best for you, right?"

"Yeah, I know, Mom," I murmured. Her conversation last night had made me truly see that.

"I want to make sure you understand that, because I think things need to change," she said and tipped her head slightly so that she could look into my downturned eyes.

"Mom," I started, uncomfortable. It was bad enough I had to talk with Carlisle, but it was mortifying to speak to Esme about it.

"Just listen, young man," she said, shutting me up. "Carlisle is going to give you some space, but I want you to talk with someone, to help put some of your worries to rest."

I moved to stand, not wanting to have this conversation while still on my high from Bella.

"Edward, I want you to understand that I think you need to talk with someone not affiliated with us. I'm sorry this went on for so long," she said, her forehead wrinkling in worry.

"Mom, it's okay."

"No, it's not, and it was clear last night," she said and looked back at me. "Edward, you should be enjoying your life, not forbidding yourself from what comes naturally. I want to see you happy."

I let out an uncomfortable breath and stood to leave.

"I need to get to school," I said and leaned in to kiss her on top of the head. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"I want you to be happy, sweetie. And that was the first time I had seen you happy when Bella was here," she whispered.

"She's nice," I replied lamely.

Nice to touch. Nice smelling. Nice and sweet.

She pulled away and smiled up at me knowingly.

"Yes she is. And I think she enjoyed spending time with you. Maybe you could talk with her some more, invite her over again," she suggested.

"I don't think so, Mom," I retorted, laughing uncomfortably.

No way was I going to subject her to my family again.

"Well then," she replied, smirking. "Maybe invite her to coffee or something. I think she likes you."

"All right, Mom," I reply, beyond mortified at having a talk about girls with my mom.

Of course she knew things I already didn't want her to know.

"Have a good day, sweetie."

I shook my head and grabbed my stuff, fleeing before she started talking about china patterns.

I just wanted to get to school, in the hopes that she would be there when I got there.

"Edward?"

I turned, expecting her to say something else, but instead she held the flour child in her hands, smiling.

"You can't forget this."

I took it and said my goodbyes, smiling all the way to school with thoughts of how I'd say hello to Bella if and when I saw her. Every option just felt contrived. And I wanted it to last, so that I could hear her voice, maybe even get close enough to touch her again. I saw her truck as I pulled in, and felt a moment's disappointment at having spent those extra few minutes at home. I had a few minutes before the first bell. Pulling her sweatshirt out, I had every intention of returning her sweatshirt and striking conversation with her. That seemed to be the best ice breaker.

Esme's supportive words, her confidence that maybe Bella liked me gave me a sense of courage I hadn't felt in sometime. Since Alaska, I could finally feel more like myself.

Maybe Bella would agree to actually seeing me outside of school.

Did I dare?

Could I maybe behave myself like I did last night?

I'd only disappeared once.

And she had surprised me in showing up.

If I knew about it beforehand I could prepare.

I wanted to pursue this. I wanted to pursue her.

But how to ask her?

I was turning the corner of the hallway when my mind was made up for me.

There was Bella, up against her locker, like a cornered deer under the paws of Mike Newton. He was leaned in towards her, eyeing her like she was something on the all you can eat buffet. My mind was suddenly on only one thing.

Get to Bella.

Pee on her, hoist her over my shoulder, kiss her. Something to get that fucker away from her.

I strode towards her, hands clenched tightly as I pushed past the other students as they stumbled into my way.

Nothing was going to keep me from getting to her.

Mike was leaning in closer when I saw her look my way. Her eyes widened at my approach, ignoring Mike completely. She was totally focused on me. Asking me to help in the deep brown that stared at me, transfixed.

"Bella."

She sucked in a breath and whispered my name, the sound of it making my body throb.

Mike pulled away when I moved closer, muttering my name.

I wasn't here to acknowledge him. I was here to make sure she was safe.

"You left your sweatshirt at my house last night," I said, making sure it was loud enough for Newton to overhear.

That's right, Newton. She was at my house last night.

Mine.

I could feel Bella adjust against me, and for a moment, I wondered how I had managed to get so close to her without freaking out. Now that I was so close, with her body cradled in mine, I couldn't help it. Her large eyes gazed into mine and fluttered for a second, glancing down at my lips. Just like last night.

I wanted to kiss her.

Taste her and claim her.

So close, I could feel her breath warming across my chin as I leaned in closer.

Kiss her.

No. Not here.

Yes, no. Do it now. Show her.

A split second of battling my thoughts in my head seemed like forever, all the while she was pressed close to my body, feeling so incredibly good that I just wanted to push her against the locker and grind her into oblivion.

But to kiss her.

That would show her I wanted her.

Kiss her.

I moved closer, watching her as her eyes slid shut.

God, she smelled so good. Better than her sweatshirt.

And her skin looked so soft.

Touch her.

Kiss her.

Want her.

My fingers traced up her arm, and I could feel her skin prickling at my touch. My chest pushed closer, feeling her quickened breath push her breasts against me. Leaning closer, wanting to whisper in her ear, my cheek touched hers, the heat of her face against mine making me inhale her scent. Her hair was down and it tickled my nose as I paused there, struck dumb by all my senses full of Bella.

She was intoxicating.

And standing there in the hallway, for all to see.

Not the right place.

An empty classroom perhaps. Or maybe the closet down the hall.

She made me drunk with want. More than ever before.

Fuck she smelled good.

But she was better than a simple grope against the lockers.

And I was not to be trusted. What if I offended her?

Pulling back slightly I looked around to find a number of eyes on us. Something I was sure would do Bella more harm than to me. I took another tentative step back to clear my head of her. I expected her to say something, be upset with me for being so bold, but when I looked down at her, she seemed a little dazed.

Overwhelmed at my boorish behavior.

This was the second time I had all but molested her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get so close. But he was making you uncomfortable," I whispered, looking down at her feet so that I couldn't see her anger.

Like I didn't just make her uncomfortable.

When she didn't say anything I glanced up to see she was still dazed.

Perhaps she was terrified?

"You all right?"

She nodded, her eyes looking towards my chin instead of my eyes.

The bell rang and still her gaze had not wavered.

Was she looking at my lips?

"That's the bell," I said, hoping she'd come out of her funk.

But still she was looking there, on my lips, her nod the only proof that she had heard me.

Did she want me to kiss her?

Because if she looked much longer, I would need to.

To discover for sure if her lips were as soft as they looked.

I liked the idea that she was entranced.

With me?

That made my body more charged than ever.

I smirked, finally breaking the spell over her. She blinked and her eyes finally drew up to mine, deep and dark and wanting so much to draw me in.

But we'd be late for class, and unless I stepped away now, I'd be pulling her into the bathroom and missing more than just first period.

I took another step back, forcing myself away from her.

"I'll see you in Biology, Bella," I whispered and turned slowly away from her, my body wired and wanting to remain there with her.

English class. I needed to go to English.

I looked back to see if she was still there, and it made me smile to see that she was looking after me.

And her look made me wish I had a few more moments, either with her or in the quiet of the bathroom.

How would I ever get through the day before I could see her again.

To get close enough to touch her and smell her.

I looked down and realized I still had her sweatshirt.

Perhaps I wouldn't give it back to her.

Just yet.

I needed an excuse to see her besides Biology.

And it was the perfect excuse.

I just needed to figure out the best time to be alone with her again.

Soon.

It needed to be very, very soon.

~~oo~~

AN: so yeah… more tomorrow! Maybe a little later in the day. Fuzzy head dreams tonight to be sure!

Love to you!

MWAH!

steph