Written for the Fandom for Children Comp…

Too Young to Be Sexy: An I'm Sexy and I Know It! Futuretake

By: Reyes139

Rating: M

Word Count: 2071

Pairing: Edward

Banner Made By: JA Mash

Summary: Pimp Daddyward's daughter is growing up fast...too fast, and wants to date. Will our sexy father let her take flight or fight the inevitable…wanting her to stay his little girl forever and away from the young bachelors in Miami.

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT…

Pimp Daddyward's POV

"Daddy."

Daddy's no en casa; please leave me a message after the tone…Beep.

Sorry sweatpea, but Daddy can't hear or see the nonsense of which you trippin' about...

"Daaaaaddy," she whines and stomps her foot, clearly adorable, but not helping her case one bit. I refuse to listen to my sixteen year old girl tell me she's met a boy, and wants to go on a date…nope, not going to happen.

I will not be weak...she's just a baby. Fuck that, she's my baby girl...my angel.

Putting my fingers in my ear I begin my chant of "lalalalala," thus evening the playing field with my child and annoying the wife.

Wife= serious, demanding and no fun.

Wifey= sexy, naughty, vixen with a dirty mind.

"Oh for fucks sake," my Kitty Boo-boo raises her arms up above her head and storms away. She's clearly frustrated with my ass, but tough shit. I mean, Maya's just a little girl...impressionable and naive.

Sixteen is way too young to grow up and attempt to unleash her sexiness unto this world. Doesn't mean I'm blind and don't see the way the boys at her school follow her around like lost puppies… hanging on her every word.

Sure they seem harmless and with no malice…but I know better. I can see a sexy thinking fool a mile away.

Shaking my head, I level my teary eyed daughter with a serious look and say "No" before turning back to Sports Center. The Heat are on fire tonight and killing their opponents, thus giving me something else to occupy my attention with and avoid the upset child in the room.

Who said sports were useless?

"But, but, but," she pouts and tries that stupid trembling lip thing I taught her when she was younger. It's a bullet proof way of getting me to cave, but tonight I must be strong and ignore it.

Dammit it's just so cute, reminds me of when she was small and wanted ice cream, but her mean ol' momma would say no. She would always come to me and once the pout was out and trembling…we would run to the closest store and sneak in a few treats before dinner.

I was always her favorite and the weakest.

I dreaded this day for so long. I knew my past sexiness and Greek God physique, along with her mother's undeniable beauty and appeal, would bite me in the ass.

Maya Cullen was born three years into my marriage with Isabella. She singlehandedly is the cause of the salt and pepper look I adorn, but constantly dye. I know most men wouldn't tell you that they dye, but I'm not most and they sure as hell do.

Men are just as vain as women.

Now think about it for a minute and you'll see why I'm so petrified.

She has my Kitty Boo-boo's heart shaped face and pouty lips...an exotic beauty with big expressive green eyes and my crazy penny colored hair in curls. She has the gift of manipulation down pat and is an angel in disguise while robbing you blind...I'm in for a lot of headaches folks.

Her birth was the single most beautiful moment of my life...my player days were done and the overprotective, gun carrying daddy was born.

My Don Juan of a father in-law just laughed and told me to invest in a lifetime supply of Rolaids. In his eyes, my stomach was in for a lot of pain and ulcer after ulcer.

"My Pooky Bells caused me agonizing days of chest pains and homicidal thoughts..." his eyes turned cold and lethal as he relived those days in his mind. "I almost put a cap in this one guy's ass, after he made her cry at junior prom...fucker. Anyways, just be prepared Lil E, because if she's anything like her mother...you're fucked."

Fucked has become the popular word in my life after I became a father…you're constantly worried and second guessing the decisions you make.

Wondering if they are happy and if you've showm them you love them enough…and will someone someday love them and cherish them 'til their last breath.

I leveled him off with a glare as he laughed and patted my back.

"Congratulations," my sexy mother in-law purred before smacking the back of Don Daddy in-law's head. Yes folks, I said purred…she doesn't know how to say anything without purring and rolling her R's.

I just think she watches too many telenovelas on Telemundo.

"What the fuck woman?" Her hands land on her hips and her foot begins to tap...so that's where my Kitty gets it from.

"Emmett," she began in a stern tone, but he was quick...too quick and plants a deep passionate kiss on her lips while tipping her backwards. She blushes after he stands her back up and tucks herself into his massive frame.

This fucker is 'the' man.

Winking at me, he began to make his way towards my Kitty's door; with one hand on Rosalie's behind...I fell in love with this pimp legend all over again.

My little girl was attached to her mother's massive tits...sucking and holding on for dear life with her tiny fingers. I was jealous, those tits were mine, but I let it go...she needed to eat and I needed to learn to share for a little while longer.

I had to stop imagining my lips suckling and devouring her glorious mounds, sporting a woody at this precise moment was no bueno.

I spent the next twenty minutes watching her get her fill and counting those ten little toes over and over. They were tiny and beautiful. My lips wanted to nibble on them, but I refused to interrupt the touching moment we were witnessing.

No worries though…I would be snacking on a toes sandwich soon enough.

"I love you Kitty...so much," my voice cracks as I plant tiny kisses along her cheek. "You gave me a gorgeous munchkin of my own and a family that I will protect and cherish 'til this pimp daddy's heart beats no more...You're everything I ever wanted and more...thank you."

Her teary eyes meet mine and I lean in, giving her a tiny kiss on those sexy bee-stung lips.

An annoyed grunt interrupts us, I turn to give Don Emmett a piece of my mind, but stop mid glare. A grunt similar to what we just heard is released, just this time closer…much closer.

My little piggy was pissed at being interrupted by our displays of affection.

Jesus, the cock blocking already begins.

"Can you burp her babe?"

"Sure," I answer, even though I was deadly afraid of hurting the precious gem still in her mother's arms.

The moment she was situated in my arms...everything fell into place and my life truly began. She owned my sexy ass the moment her eyes met mine, wrapping her tiny fist on my thumb and pulling. Her eyes were bright and aware...with a tiny smile on her lips, crooked and all.

Her mother claims it is just gas, but I know better.

This is her way of saying 'I know who you are' and 'I love you.'

I held her stare and saw my life flash before my eyes.

I was going to be in a world of pain when she grew up...and I was right.

Fuck you Giovanni Garcia…fuck you, for falling for her natural charms and good looks. If it weren't for you, she would still want to hang out with her girlfriends and steer clear of boys.

You just had to fall for her beauty and ruin my life.

Her mother thinks I'm being unreasonable.

Her grandmothers find this hilarious.

But my Maya is pissed and hurt.

Her bedroom door slams shut and the radio blasts through the speakers. I won't go up and ask her to lower it...afraid to see tears in her eyes.

"Babe, you need to let her grow up."

"I'm not ready," my voice is barely above a whisper and you wrap your arms around my neck.

"Neither am I, Edward," she releases a heavy sigh and I'm afraid to look into her eyes, I don't want my kitty upset with me over this too.

"We've raised her right..." she says, "taught her right from wrong. There's nothing else we can do, but be there for her and be supportive."

"Kitty, I trust my girl...its every other fucker out there I don't," your tender hands massage my tense shoulders and try to make me see...that I'm not losing my daughter...even though that's exactly what this feels like.

"Edward, look at me." My eyes meet yours and they're filled with tears and acceptance. "She's growing up faster than our old asses were prepared for...I'm scared and so are you, but we can't hold her under our thumbs forever." My mind tells me you're right, but my heart isn't ready to accept that my baby is now a woman.

"In two weeks she'll be seventeen...one more year and she'll be legal and ready to leave the nest. She needs our guidance and help, not restrictions and to feel caged."

I hate to admit it, but you're right.

Fuck me, I hate this.

"Daddy, I just want you to trust me," her sniffles break my Mack Daddy heart. Opening my arms wide, she rushes forward and nestles herself under my chin.

Kissing her hair, I nod and tell her 'okay.'

"I trust you and agree that we need to give you some liberties...some Maya, don't go crazy and make me regret this." She kisses my cheek and hugs me tight.

My heart hurts and she sees this in my expression.

"I'm not leaving you Daddy...I love you and will always be your little girl." Damn fucking right she will be.

"You'll have a twelve o'clock curfew." She tries to argue, but my Kitty Boo-boo steps in.

"Don't push it, Maya Cullen...those are the rules and we need to meet this boy first. Now go call him and ask him to be here in an hour to pick you up!"

"Really...I can still go tonight?"

We nod and her obnoxious teenager self shows as she squeals and busts my eardrums.

"Are you sure we're doing the right thing?"

"Yes, my Pimp Daddy Mac...I'm sure...trust me."

Exactly one hour later me and my pimp club are gathered around the living room with a scared little boy name Giovanni.

His fauxhawk screams I'm trying to be a badass, while his Abercrombie gear screams my mommy buys my clothes…kids these days.

Emmett stares him down while flexing the twenty six inch pythons he calls arms in his face. The kid pales and we bite our lips to hide the amusement we find in this.

"So where ya taking my granddaughter…punk?"

"W-We're g-going to the m-movies Sir," he trembles and watches our every move…maybe this asswipe won't be so bad, heck he's obviously scared and won't try anything…that's for sure.

Not that my little Maya couldn't handle herself…between all the kickboxing and the punches she learned from all the godfathers she has through the Heat organization…she can lay me out if she wanted to.

"Which one ya taking the shorty to?" my father asks and shows his grills. Nice little gift from the missus on his birthday last year.

"The one on Sunset Boulevard?" He is smarter than he looks…asking so we can say yay or nay…the kid is definitely growing on me.

We were just about to ask which movie when my missus cleared her throat and gave me the mommy look…you know the one that scares all the kids and makes them eat their veggies…yeah, that's the one.

"Stop it, you three…don't fucking embarrass her or I'll make you three pay dearly." We swallow and nod…we ain't stupid.

My angel walks our way and the two kids just stare at each other and blush…it's kinda cute and terrifying, but I trust her and know where the punk lives, so it's all good in the neighborhood.

Maya turns to walk out the door, but runs back to me and hugs me tight…my little girl loves her daddy. I squeeze her tight one last time and push her towards the jack ass standing by the door.

We all watch them leave and get a bit emotional.

Don't judge, we're a close and loving family.

Grabbing my Kitty, we head towards the den, when she suddenly stop and looks afraid…

"Um…Edward…where's l'il man?"

Fuck my life.