Chapter 2

Doug

I took Ste's direct and steady gaze as permission to have another go at kissing him. And judging by the eagerness with which he leaned into the kiss as I initiated it, I think I definitely read him right. This time around, we both let ourselves get fully into things. And this time around, I didn't settle for passive or accidental contact between our bodies; no, this time I made sure our bodies touched as much as possible. I set my hands purposefully to the task of exploring Ste's firm and lean contours as our mouths got well acquainted. I ran my hands over the sides of his torso, across his chest and waist, around his arms, up and down his back… I was too nervous (actually, if I'm honest, too freaked out) to venture below the waist so I let my hands settle at the lowest possible point of Ste's back, rubbing and squeezing there… and letting just the tips of my fingers venture underneath the fabric of his jeans, where they registered the slight swell leading to Ste's no-doubt amazing ass (which I'd been ogling whenever I got the chance while we were working at the deli)… To make up for my trepidation about touching his ass or crotch with my hands, I relied on my legs to do some exploring – rubbing up and between his legs… There was no mistaking the hardness between his legs as his crotch pressed against my thigh…

As caught up in Ste's body as I was, I did have the presence of mind to notice that his hands seemed plenty curious as well. They roamed over me. They felt like two question marks - like his face had been before - trying to figure out who or what I really was and what this kiss might really mean. His touch was… on the gentle side but somehow also very earnest, like he really wanted and needed this physical intimacy, despite how unexpected it must have been. I know I definitely needed this.

We both came up for air at the same time, allowing our excited breaths to escape in agitated gasps once our lips were apart. The pause allowed a bit more of nervousness to intrude upon my otherwise aroused mind and body. Ste took advantage of the pause to lower his eyes, but not in bashfulness like earlier. Instead, I could feel his eyes wandering over my body, taking it all in. He tentatively placed a hand on the side of my waist, then slowly let it drift down to my thigh. I must have been holding my breath at that pointand Ste must have noticed, because next thing I knew he had placed his other hand on my chest and whispered, "Breath. Don't wantya passin' out now." I gulped in air. The hand Ste had placed on my chest remained there, no doubt feeling clearly the thud of my heart beneath it.

I watched as Ste ran his tongue over his already wet lips, then chewed at his lower lip… Man, his mouth was really sexy…

I swallowed down a knot of anxiety that had lodged in my throat. What was supposed to happen next? Were we supposed to keep kissing? Were we supposed to "move on" to something else, something more…? Or should we stop and talk about this… about me… being attracted to him…?

Just then, as all these questions were spinning through my head, there was a thump at the front door, followed by a knock. I think both Ste and I were equally startled. We practically jumped apart, then froze waiting to see if the knocking would continue. It did, this time a bit more urgently. We both snapped out of our frozen states and hurriedly tidied our clothing – I tucked in my shirt, which had ridden up and out from under my belt at some point. Ste tugged at the hem of his own t-shirt. I couldn't help but notice that he also quickly ran a hand over the bulge at his crotch…

The knocking at the door was now accompanied by a voice calling out, "Ste! It's me! Open the door!"

I hate to admit it, but a part of me felt like I'd been "saved by the knock." I mean, as heated as the kiss had gotten, surely it would have to lead to something else. And I just wasn't entirely sure if I was ready for whatever that something else might be… with a guy.

Ste quickly ran his hands over his hair, tidying it a bit, and pulled open the front door. Amy tumbled through the doorway with a crying Lucas in her arms.

"I've been ringin' ya. Don't you have your phone on?"

"Sorry. Never heard it, did I. Must've been turned off…"

"Ugh… Well, at least you're in, seeing as how I must have left my keys back at Michaela's!"

"What's goin' on? Where's Leah?"

"Well Leah is fast asleep at Michaela's. And so are Bobby and Kathleen Angel. But this little guy refuses to sleep! He's been crying and saying he wants his own bed, wants to go home, and where's daddy, and where's his stuffed dinosaur... He was going to wake the other little ones if he kept it up any longer! And neither Michaela or I were ever gonna get to sleep… or get to the wine and chatting we had planned on getting to first!"

Lucas reached out for Ste and Ste smoothly scooped his weepy little boy from Amy's arms. Lucas immediately quieted down and his head dropped against Ste's shoulder in exhaustion. It was an adorable sight.

"Hope you weren't planning on going anywhere." Amy surveyed the living room, noticing a few empty beer bottles on the floor and then noticing me standing quietly in the background, trying to look casual.

"Hey Doug. Sorry to interrupt your boys night in, but this little guy was interrupting Michaela and my girl's night in, which I'd like to get back to if you're in for the night anyway Ste. You're alright to look after him, aren't you?"

"Course, yeah. 'Sides, looks like he's 'bout to fall asleep any second, dunnit."

"Ugh." Amy huffed. "You, Ste, have the magic touch. If that's it, then I'm off." With that, she gave Lucas a kiss on the forehead, squeezed Ste's arm appreciatively, and called over her shoulder as she headed out the door, "You boys behave – no more beers!"

She was gone as quickly as she'd arrived. Ste shrugged my way. "Um, sorry… 'bout…" He glanced over at the door Amy had just hurried out of and then down at Lucas, who had cuddled himself up into Ste's chest.

"No, no. You go on. Let me clear away these bottles and the take away containers. You go, do what you need to with Lucas." I quickly busied myself grabbing containers we'd left about the living room.

"Right, thanks." Ste shuffled down the hall to the kids' bedroom.

By the time I finished cleaning everything up, I had worked myself into a new level of worry. What was I meant to do now? Ste and I couldn't continue messing around with his son in the house. But what should I say? How should I make my exit? After I sat wringing my hands together for a couple of minutes and Ste still hadn't emerged from Lucas' room, I decided go and give a peek through the door.

Ste was kneeled on the floor beside his son's bed. A barely awake Lucas, tucked mostly under his covers, had one arm wrapped around a tattered stuffed thing that I could only assume (due to its exceedingly shabby state) was the dinosaur Amy had mentioned while his other hand was reached out stroking back and forth across the fringe of hair on his father's forehead. Ste was leant close to him, whispering. "Mummy went back to Michaela's, ya know. Bet ya she's fast asleep already. And Leah is fast asleep over there too. Now you need to fall asleep, 'kay?" Lucas made a few little humming sounds and finally his hand dropped away from Ste's forehead. Ste tucked the sleeping arm under the covers with the rest of Lucas and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

When he finally stood up and looked away from his son, he noticed me standing at the bedroom door. "What?"

"What 'what'?" I said, startled. I had been so mesmerized watching the tenderness between Ste and his little boy that I didn't notice my lips had set themselves into a smile and that I had gone completely and totally still and calm.

"What's that look on your face? Why you smilen' like that?"

"It's just, you're always so good with your kids. It's like when they're in a room with you, they're the center of your universe or something… And you're like, totally master of that universe, like you've got everything figured out and taken care of."

Ste grinned proudly. He always lit up at the mention of his kids or his being a dad.

"I should probably go. Wouldn't wanna… wake Lucas… or anything…" The words tripped out with uncertainty and my voice trailed off weakly. I turned and walked back to the living room to retrieve my jacket. I was almost afraid to turn back and look at Ste. Would he be disappointed? Mad? Annoyed? Confused? When I finally did turn around, Ste was stood a few steps away from me with is hair messed across his forehead, just as Lucas had left it, and a small smile plastered on his lips.

"Yeah, we should probably get some rest tonight. Still got some work to finish at the deli tomorrow, don't we?"

"Exactly." I nodded and slipped into my jacket.

"So… I'll see you at the deli tomorrow then…"

"Yep. There's not too much work left to do so maybe after we finish everything, we could go for drinks somewhere…"

Ste's smile grew wider… and the tingling sensation that had been spreading through my body since we'd returned to the living room intensified. I was fairly certain my entire body was now blushing. Drinks – had I just asked Ste out on a date?

"Yeah, sounds good..." Ste nodded enthusiastically and hovered close behind me as I moved to the front door. We bid each other farewell with nervous little waves – no one watching would have guessed that we were two guys who had just hugged, kissed, and felt each other up and (almost) all over… and yet that is precisely what had just happened and all I wanted to do right now was get back home and figure out what it had all meant.

STE

I can't believe it! I cannot believe what just happened! Doug and me kissed! Like proper snogged! I never ever imagined that would happen with him!

I don't care what I just said about getting some rest, there's no way I'm gonna be able to fall asleep now! But there's no way I'm gonna be able to do anythin' else now either! Me head's spinnin'!

I'm so excited I practically run to my bedroom and jump in bed. I sit up only long enough to pull my jeans off and toss 'em on the floor, then I curl up under my blanket. I wanna replay every last thing that happened tonight – every touch, every taste, every smell, every sound, every word…

If I weren't so incredibly happy remembering it all, I might've felt like a right idiot lyin' there in the dark with me eyes wide open, a grin big enough to crack me face plastered on, and the neck of me t-shirt pulled up to me nose so I can catch the scent of Doug that lingers on it. I can't remember the last time I felt like this… so giddy… You'd think it was me first time or summit…

Well, it has been ages since I've done anythin'… ages since that last time with Brendan. I didn't realize just how much I missed bein' close to a guy… in that way. And it's not like I've been with a lot of guys ever. I've only ever kissed and been with two guys – Brendan and Noah.

Kissin' Doug was different though, weren't it… I mean, he seemed kinda unsure. But that makes sense, don't it, if I'm the first guy he's kissed. I remember how that feels – real excitin', but different than kissin' a girl. 'Course Brendan and Noah both had more experience kissin' guys than me, so they were always so sure of themselves, weren't they. Noah's kisses were sweet and kinda gentle-like, but really hot all the same, 'specially since he always whispered nice things in me ear durin' the kissin' n' made me feel good.

And Brendan's kisses, well, they were… overwhelming. It always felt like he was gonna consume me whole, and like I couldn't breath but maybe didn't need to or want to breath anyway. Bren was always so… aggressive. It was like he would just take my mouth… and any and every other part of me he wanted…

And now Doug… Guess I'm supposed to be the experienced one this time. That's well weird, innit. Kinda scary too. I don't wanna mess up, do I. Don't wanna scare Doug off or anythin', 'specially with him bein' me mate and business partner!… It didn't matter if he were unsure though, it was still hot as hell, 'specially with all the touching his hands was doin' all over me… And what he'd said, at the start, what was it? That he'd been havin' these feelings and, "they've all been feelings about… YOU… just you, Ste." Me, just me – I can hardly believe it! Then he'd said, "All I know for sure, Ste, is that I've never spent so much time thinking about a guy before or wanting to hang out with a guy before until now. And I've never looked at another guy before. I've never wanted to kiss another guy before… as desperately as I just wanted to kiss you, right now." I remember every amazing word and I keep replayin' them in my mind over and over again.

I'm pretty sure the last thought I had before finally driftin' off to sleep was – Doug Carter really likes me!