Author's note: Welcome to the first outtake from 'Trust me'! I'm very excited to be writing these outtakes- I hope you guys enjoy them as much as I loved writing them :)
So as you would have read in the introduction, this outtake is Edward's perspective of the notoriously awkward fever scene :D
If you are trying to find the original chapter from which this is based, it was Chapter 11: Apologies (written from Jacob's POV) from 'Trust me'. I hope you enjoy Edward's view of things! Please remember to review when you're done :)
Also as an aside, the complete list of outtakes are now in the introduction (I added two more to my original 13, giving 15 outtakes altogether). Please check out the list if you have the time, otherwise you can wait and see what extra surprises I have in store for you all :)
Happy reading!
'From another point of view'
Outtake # 1- Because ice would melt
Edward's POV
Jacob's groans could be heard from downstairs; his sleep had become was agitated and restless. His thoughts were not clear enough for me to understand, but from the door to Carlisle's study I could see that the sheets were sticking to him relentlessly; he was undoubtedly drenched in sweat. I knew it was only a matter of time before the boy woke up demanding my attention; probably to yell at me to turn up the air-conditioning. So before this occurred, I needed my father's and Jasper's opinion on the reason for the boy's agitation to see whether they concurred with my own suspicions.
"Carlisle, Jasper, could you come up here for a moment please?" I whispered quietly so I wouldn't wake Jacob, but loud enough so my family could hear.
In one second, Carlisle was by my side, and immediately his thoughts reassured me that my suspicions were correct.
He has a fever, Carlisle sighed. We really should have fed him. If we had, his immune system would not be struggling as it is now, my father berated himself, feeling terrible that Jacob would have to endure such an uncomfortable state because of his negligence.
"We could not have known," I tried to console my father, but he brushed me aside.
"We should have, Edward."
I looked my father in the eye; I could see how difficult it was for him to realise that he could have easily prevented his patient from suffering more than he had to.
"Jacob has not been hungry," I reassured him persistently, and of this I was certain; Jacob had never desired food or wondered why we hadn't fed him.
Carlisle returned my gaze, looking doubtful, but he didn't say anything and returned to observing Jacob from afar.
In the mean time, I wondered where my brother was.
"Jasper?" I mumbled, heading towards the stairs to see if I could sense his whereabouts.
Jacob is highly uncomfortable- he most definitely has a fever, Jasper reported to me from downstairs, his thoughts and expression tense. I now understood why he did not wish to join me upstairs; it would intensify what he could feel from Jacob.
"Thank you, Jasper," I whispered gratefully to him.
Now that I was certain Jacob had a fever, I gently led my father away from his office, and back down stairs where we could freely discuss a course of action.
The moment we entered the living room where Jasper, Alice, and Esme were waiting for us, Jacob woke up. Our discussion needed to be quick; the boy was already trying to gain my attention through his thoughts, and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold him off for long.
"What do you think, Carlisle?" I asked my father.
Carlisle was rubbing his temples with his fingers as he considered ways we could determine how serious Jacob's fever was.
"You will need to take his temperature, or rather, he will need to; if the thermometer makes contact with your skin, it will bias the reading."
"Right," I agreed, then immediately ran into our kitchen and raided through the first aid kit for a thermometer. Finally my fingers grasped around the thin, plastic container which housed the glass instrument I was looking for. Carefully I held it in my hand, and then returned to the living room.
"Without knowing the severity of his fever, I cannot determine the best course of action. So, please ask Jacob to place the thermometer under his tongue, make sure he extracts it from his mouth so he can read the scale before returning it to you. Finding out his average core body temperature is also important. If he is more than 2 degrees warmer than he should be…" Carlisle sighed, Esme reached over to rub her husband's back. "We will need to act quickly."
I was about to ask my father what we would do in the worst case scenario when I heard Jacob's thoughts force their way into my mind; I had been trying to ignore him during my important conversation with Carlisle, but now his requests were impossible to disregard.
"Jacob is calling for me; he wants me to turn the air-conditioning up," I reported to my family.
"It's on 10 degrees!" Alice protested. "That is cold for a human," she insisted.
"Evidently not cold enough for a feverish wolf," Jasper hissed rather uncharacteristically, and I could tell Jacob's irritation was starting to influence Jasper through his gift. "I hope his fever doesn't last for long," Jasper vocalised, his eyes tense. I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"I will assist him as fast as I can," I promised my brother as I stood up and ran up the stairs to Carlisle's office, the thermometer safe in my hands.
Jacob glared at me when I entered the room; he wondered what took me so long, and he was annoyed that the air-conditioning had not been turned up like he asked. But I ignored him. Upon closer inspection, he was still completely drenched in sweat.
This was serious.
But I maintained my composure and showed Jacob the thermometer.
"Do you know what this is?"
Jacob narrowed his eyes at the small glass tube, and then at me.
"Of course not; I've never been sick in my life," he snapped at me, thinking that I would consider him stupid for not knowing the function of the instrument in my hand.
I ignored his sarcasm, and pressed on, quickly explaining the function of the thermometer and the reason why I wished for him to use it.
Naturally, Jacob wanted to know why he would even have a fever. It pained me to outline our reasons, knowing that Carlisle could hear me, and would once again feel guilty for not considering the value of nutrients to one's immune system. Once he understood our reasoning, the boy started rattling off multiple ways to reduce his body heat; it was so obvious (to all of us) that he had a fever that he found the thermometer unnecessary. Apparently getting better was as simple as turning the air-conditioning down to 5 degrees or chucking a bucket of ice on him. As much as I wished things were that simple, I knew they couldn't be; the heat radiating off him was significantly higher than normal, but how much higher I wouldn't know until Jacob took his temperature. The air-conditioner could be reduced to a lower temperature as he requested, but it would take time to be effective... perhaps more time than he could afford. And as for the ice… it would be useless; it would melt. Therefore, neither idea was a viable option given his current state.
Thankfully it didn't take Jacob long to realise that forcing his ideas on me would be fruitless; he knew me well enough by this stage to know I would keep persisting.
Bloody vampires have to test everything. Haven't they learnt by now that their theories are always right? He mumbled bitterly to himself.
I smirked at his thoughts, but decided not to inform him that despite our (especially my father's) tendency to be correct, the consequences that would arise if we were wrong, outweighed the small precautionary measures we require Jacob to adhere to.
Resigning to the inevitable, Jacob grabbed the thermometer out of my palm, and placed it carelessly under his tongue. The force with which he took it from me had me worried that he would break the delicate glass, but thankfully it remained in tact.
As Jacob and I waited for thirty seconds to pass (I decided to increase the waiting time as the mercury would have been affected by my freezing skin), I observed his thoughts carefully. I saw his tongue move over the thermometer slightly, and I knew he didn't like the hard, foreign stick inside his mouth. But thankfully he kept it under his tongue, and didn't complain. Instead he thought about my father and brother- the two members of my family who he thought could help him far better than I could at the present moment.
I wonder why the doc's not here explaining all this to me. Surely Jasper could help cool me down using his gift. Perhaps they've given up on me; I wouldn't blame them. Problems just follow me around everywhere, one thing after another after another, Jacob thought bitterly to himself. In addition to his bitterness towards Victoria, without whom none of this would be happening to him, he also felt abandoned and useless. All-or-nothing thoughts began to fill his mind, and before long, I was overcome with his helplessness: What if this never stops? Just when things settle down, something else makes me feel like shit. Perhaps this is what vampire venom does to us wolves: makes us eternally ill. I'm going to have to rely on the Cullens forever.
Jacob had had enough; he had made himself upset and didn't want to risk breaking the thermometer. I felt for the boy, I truly did; the effects of the venom were definitely trialling on him, physically and emotionally. But he was getting better, even if he couldn't see it. Seeing his intention to remove the thermometer from his mouth, I knew I needed to stop him; undoubtedly he would forget to check his temperature before throwing it away, by which time the thermometer would be broken and useless.
I reached out to place my hand over Jacob's, which momentarily halted his intention to go through with his plan.
Knowing that Jacob was about to defy my instructions to him, not out of anger, but hopeless frustration, I wanted my gesture to be of some comfort to him. And in doing so, I wished to emphasise to Jacob, however silently that he was not a burden to my family (or most of us anyway).
The moment Jacob felt my skin on his own, he froze staring into my face clearly surprised that I had intervened. And in those couple of seconds, he saw that I was sad for him- that I was there for him, that he was not alone in his frustration, his confusion, and his sadness.
"Once you remove the thermometer, tell me what your temperature is, and then you can hand it back to me. I cannot touch it because my skin will affect the reading. Then we can compare your current temperature to what it should be. Do you know what that is?" I instructed him gently, pushing aside my emotions and his, for the sake of efficiency.
108.
I removed my hand from Jacob's so he could extract the thermometer from his mouth, hoping against all hope that the reading would be 110 at most. I should have known I was wishing for too much.
When I saw the 112 in Jacob's mind as he read the thermometer, I snatched it out of his hand, and forced a glass of water in front of him.
I hoped to hide the reality from my father as long as possible, but I knew I needed his assistance no matter how upset he would be at learning the extent of Jacob's fever.
I could hear snippets of conversation below as I began moving quickly around the room, trying to work out what Jacob may need to get through the night.
Carlisle didn't need Jasper to tell him I was agitated by the reading, of which they didn't know the specifics because Jacob hadn't said it out loud, and I hadn't dared to.
"Edward, what's wrong?" Carlisle asked me, walking slowly towards the stairs in case I needed his assistance.
"His temperature is 112," I hissed quickly at the same time that I loudly filled up another glass for Jacob to drink from once he finished the first. It provided the perfect amount of noise to mask my words to my father.
"We need to act fast," Carlisle warned me, but of course, I was already prepared to act as quickly as needed. "You must do as I ask of you," my father insisted, which of course, I was more than willing to do; I had never refused to obey my father's instructions regarding anything medical. But somehow I had the feeling from Carlisle's tone that I may not be willing to obey him this time. I was about to question him, but at that moment Carlisle requested I find out how Jacob was going.
Putting my own question aside momentarily, I asked Jacob:
"How do you feel?" I waited for his answer feeling apprehensive and on edge; if Jacob didn't start improving shortly, I knew we would all be in for a difficult night.
I was relieved to hear through Jacob's thoughts that the water I gave him to drink made him feel slightly better, but as I expected he was still sweating profusely and was uncomfortably hot. Before I could think of what to do next or how I was going to relay Jacob's silent thoughts to Carlisle, who for whatever reason trusted me to handle this feverish Jacob on my own, I was bombarded with a repeat of easy ways Jacob thought he could cool down. Immediately I began shaking my head in response having already devised arguments against these very ideas moments before. I knew there was no point experimenting with his suggestions; as easy as it would have made all of our lives, ice was guaranteed to melt.
Why not? he demanded, annoyed that I was already shaking my head, apparently without considering his ideas.
"Your fever is serious," I emphasised forcefully. "Your core body temperature needs to be reduced now," I explained almost dangerously. Carlisle's anxiety increased at my words; even though this was not new information to him, my anxiety didn't help his.
Whilst Jacob kept persisting, aloud this time, which I was relieved about so Carlisle could hear, my father was simultaneously providing answers to each of the boy's suggestions.
"Ice?" Jacob suggested.
It would melt
"A cold shower?" he continued.
Jacob cannot be sleep deprived; standing under the shower for the night is not an option for him.
Carlisle's tone was patient, but this was the third time I had heard Jacob's suggestions, and I was losing my patience.
"The ice would melt soon after touching you, and a shower is only a temporary solution," I answered him, trying not to let my annoyance seep into my tone.
"Well there has to be something!" Jacob hissed at me, and I could sense that his anger was not helping his fever. Carlisle needed to give me a strategy and fast.
Jacob was breathing heavily as a result of his frustration; he was meeting walls at every turn, and unfortunately I had no solution to give him.
Thankfully, Carlisle could hear Jacob's increased agitation from downstairs, and quickly devised a strategy in his mind that he thought might work.
I have an idea, Carlisle quickly explained to me. But I am not sure whether it will be sufficient. It may make you and Jacob uncomfortable, but it is the quickest way; we do not want to take any risks; he could become delirious if we don't act now.
I was about to insist Carlisle stop worrying about my discomfort and tell me what to do, but he was hiding his plans from me.
When I saw the answer I was after, clearly projected in Carlisle's mind, I did not hesitate to obey.
Let us see whether the touch of your skin is sufficient. I am hopeful he will not adapt too quickly to our temperature.
Without warning Jacob, I immediately placed my palm on Jacob's chest. His sweat seeped through his shirt onto my skin, but I didn't move my hand.
Jacob flinched at the stark contrast between the temperature of his body and mine. He dreaded how it would feel if I was touching his bare skin, and frankly so was I, for multiple reasons.
But for the moment, I needed to focus on the present. All of us, my family downstairs included, waited to see whether Jacob would feel any relief from my physical contact with him.
I had to repress an exhale of relief when I heard how much calmer Jacob's thoughts were, an indication that his fever was reducing, however slightly.
"It's working," Jasper informed our father, having sensed the relief in my body, and Jacob's.
"Excellent," Carlisle replied, and I knew he truly was pleased; the ice-cold skin of vampires was medically useful in a way no other cold product could be- our form, our temperature would never change. We were Jacob's perfect remedy, though I doubt he would see it that way.
After ten seconds, Jacob's arms and legs were the only parts of his body that maintained the original feverish heat- the rest of him, including his vital organs were of an appropriate temperature, and of that I was certain.
Knowing that this minimal level of contact would allow Jacob to make it through the night delirium-free, I begun to consider how I would proceed to keep his temperature below a life-threatening level. However, while I was determining whether moving around Jacob's body, placing my hands on various limbs would keep him relatively cool, Carlisle was devising other plans.
When I saw what my father wanted me to do, I immediately removed my hand from Jacob's chest, and then turned away in the hope of hiding my discomfort and reluctance. Jacob thankfully attributed my reaction to his sweat, but this was the furthest issue from my mind.
"Edward is uncomfortable with the idea," Jasper informed Carlisle, having sensed the tensed stature of my body.
But my hesitation- my objection to such an idea was not merely in anticipation of how awkward I would feel, but how impossible it would be to accomplish if Jacob didn't cooperate, of which I was certain he was far from doing.
"I felt you would be, Edward," Carlisle readily empathised with me, and I was glad he understood exactly how uncomfortable and how difficult such a plan would be to execute. "I am willing to take your place, if you wish," my father offered, and for a half a second, I considered such an option as my ideal escape. But I could not allow him to- despite how much Jacob respected Carlisle, I knew he would not agree to the doctor doing something so… personal. If Jacob was to be convinced, I would need to do it.
"This does not seem to interest him," Jasper informed Carlisle as he didn't feel any relief from me in response to my father's offer.
"I know this is not ideal Edward, but if you can convince Jacob, you may very well save his life. I know you have the best chance out of all of us of convincing him. I promise to coach you through it," Carlisle reassured me gently.
For a moment, my mind flooded with possibilities- ridiculous possibilities- anything to allow me to escape this remedy. It took me two seconds to realise that there was no way out; if Jacob was to recover, an immediate remedy was vital.
I sighed heavily to myself.
I had no other option.
I had to try, but I had no idea how to go about convincing the boy to let me... no, the plan was unspeakable. I would need to implicate my intentions.
I inwardly groaned. If I managed to get through this without a migraine, I would be grateful.
One step at a time, I consoled myself.
The conversation I had with Carlisle, as well as my self-talk lasted for a minute. After taking a quick, though unnecessary breath, I moved into action.
"Take off your shirt," I commanded Jacob, trying to ignore the awkward feeling that came over me when I heard the words come out of my mouth.
But apparently my order was not obviously urgent enough for the boy- he just stared at me in disbelief. If he knew my intention (or rather, Carlisle's) disbelief would not be his only feeling. He thought I was going mad- well I very well may if he didn't make this reasonably easy for me; coming out of this feeling something less than insane would be ideal.
"Now!" I ordered in a dangerous voice when the boy still hadn't obeyed my request.
Calm down, Son, Carlisle consoled me, not that he expected me to heed his comforting warning.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jacob cross his arms over his head to remove his shirt. Relieved that Jacob was finally doing what I requested, I concentrated on Carlisle's other instructions involving a wet cloth in a bowl of cold water, another glass of water, and a pile of blankets should the fever turn in the opposite direction, which fevers tended to do.
Without needing to be prompted by my father, I completed my 'preparation' for the 'intervention' I was about to give. Faster than a human could see, including Jacob, I took off my shirt.
Carlisle did not have to ask whether I had proceeded to this final measure, the audible cringe from Jasper told my family what I had done. I did not envy Jasper his gift in that moment- if I thought Jacob's thoughts would be difficult to bear, the combination of his and my feelings would be overwhelming for my brother.
I was now standing next to the bed, and placed the original vase-like glass Jacob originally drunk from on the bed side, along with the white cloth. Unfortunately, no matter how much I prayed in those few short seconds, it took Jacob only one to notice that I was shirtless as well. I tried to remain determined, but his thoughts were dangerously close to convincing me that in fact, these steps were indeed too drastic. I didn't need my gift to know that Jacob understood my intentions, and naturally and typically, though understandably, the boy was actively and instantly protesting them.
"Jacob is feeling… I- it is difficult to articulate-" Jasper was struggling to explain exactly what Jacob felt. "Shock, disbelief, fear," my brother began to list them until his words were shadowed by a resounding:
No way in hell!
And I tended to agree with Jacob; not even Hell would be this cruel. But I forced myself to shake away that thought; I was being selfish. I needed to do this, I needed to convince the boy of something that really wasn't too difficult to convince him of; that Carlisle was right.
"Reinforce how dangerous his fever is," Carlisle prompted me from the living room; he believed the quickest way to convince Jacob to obey would be to frighten him, not that we were lying, of course.
"Four degrees above your average body temperature is dangerous, Jacob," I told him sternly, in an attempt to hide my own insecurities and uncertainty that I would even survive the night. "It needs to be reduced now; my hand was helpful- it made you feel cooler, but not completely- this is the solution- this will work," I tried to convince him as if my life depended on it, which it did- if I couldn't convince him, no one could, and Carlisle would forever berate himself for his 'negligence'.
I don't care if it does, he told him scathingly. There has to be another way.
I wanted to give up then; I had learnt enough of Jacob's personality to know he was stubborn, and my determination to provide this highly personal intervention wasn't strong enough to insist on it for too long.
Jasper felt the combined emotions of Jacob's frustration, with my wavering resolve, and reported our hesitancy to Carlisle.
Ask him to try it. Once he begins to feel cooler, he may be more willing to accede, Carlisle suggested, having heard Jasper's assessment.
I remained tense like a statue so as to hide my feelings from Jacob, who I knew was watching me closely, as I processed my father's recommendation.
It was frustrating that my resolve was constantly changing: one minute I was determined that Jacob trust me- to allow me to do what I must to satisfy his health and the sanity of my father, but on the other hand, I was struggling to hide my discomfort, and the mounting vulnerability developing within my brother as a consequence, was also difficult to endure. I felt my eyes glaring at nothing in particular, as my frustration with Jacob and with myself became evident to the boy as well as my brother.
Don't let it overwhelm you, Edward, Carlisle thought gently at me after Jasper reported the sudden upheaval in my emotions. Have patience with him, as you have had since he came here. I am so proud of you; I know you have the patience, the words, and the skills to convince Jacob of the importance of letting you assist him. You know how important this is for Jacob even though it must be difficult for you to admit.
I continued to stare into space, trying to console myself that Carlisle was right- that I could stay in control despite the intensity of Jacob and Jasper's emotions mounting dangerously, as the boy and I faced each other without shirts on. How could any of us endure our feelings when I actually- if managed to convince him to let me-
No, this was ridiculous, I must gain perspective; I should be beyond such vanity, right?
When I realised that Jacob believed I was trying to consider other options, I forced myself to snap out of my reverie; this assumption of his was not good; I needed to remain firm with the knowledge that this precaution was necessary- I could not allow myself to waver from my resolve anymore.
Taking a silent breath, readying myself for the debate I knew I was about to have with the boy, telling myself over and over again that this was the only right thing to do, I compromised:
"Try this, and if it doesn't work or you feel uncomfortable-"
"Oh trust me, nothing could be more uncomfortable than that," Jacob interrupted me, and then, to emphasise the truth of his words, showed me how he imagined the next few hours would play out. It was almost an exact image of what I saw in Carlisle's mind: the two of us lying side by side, our bare chests pressed together. It made me feel queasy too; he wasn't the only one feeling sick about it.
But I couldn't let myself back down; I needed to be firm in my resolve for his sake, as well as Carlisle's.
"Would you prefer to stay boiling hot?" I fired back at the boy, hiding my own discomfort amongst my anger and frustration. "Carlisle feels you will be delirious within the next hour if we don't reduce your body temperature. This is the fastest way!" I informed him, in the hope of fearing him into obedience.
"But not the easiest!" he screamed at me; he was running out of arguments against me, and this scared him.
Offer him some more water; keep him as calm as possible, was Carlisle's immediate reaction to Jacob's outburst. So I offered him another drink, which he gratefully accepted- his fever had made him dehydrated.
Be honest with him about your feelings, Carlisle encouraged as Jacob drank.
I suppressed a snort.
"Edward doesn't think it would help," Jasper reported, having interpreted my feelings correctly.
"It may," Carlisle insisted. "And remind him of his family, they will be visiting tomorrow- he needs to get better before they arrive."
I had more hope with the latter suggestion.
Once Jacob had finished drinking, I continued in a calmer voice, keeping Carlisle's suggestions in mind: "This is not easy for me either, Jacob. But I know it will work; the sooner your body gets back to normal, the sooner the fever will end. Then you will be able to get some rest before Bella, Sam and your father arrive tomorrow morning."
Jacob put his glass down on the bedside, and paused for a moment.
I tensed, hoping and yet fearing that he was finally about to agree.
Fine, he hissed in his mind, which simultaneously made me feel relieved, and self- conscious. Thankfully Jacob didn't notice my reaction; he had grabbed the towel he had used earlier, and was using it to wipe away the sweat from his chest, arms, and legs. I should have been disgusted when I noticed the moisture in the towel was actually visible, but it was, to be honest, the least of my concerns.
He then threw the towel on the floor, and took a deep breath. I quickly took one too; this could be a long night.
I then slowly approached the boy so I was standing near his head. It encouraged me that my cooler presence and my icy breath were already soothing his fever. I was about to get on the bed, when Jacob interrupted my movements.
"But if I do this," Jacob bargained with me. "No one except for those who can hear can know about it. And if I want you to- to get away, you will."
"Of course," Carlisle and Esme answered immediately, and simultaneously.
"We promise," Alice replied musically, and I was annoyed to learn that she was looking forward to hearing how the boy would react to lying next to me.
I didn't need to hear Jasper's reply to know that he would never speak of the occasion; he would be trying to forget the moment if anything.
"I promise," I asserted seriously, knowing that it would take some time for me to be able to speak of this occasion myself. My answer also encompassed my family's promise to Jacob's request.
Considering my promise good enough for the moment, Jacob shifted slightly to his right, so I could slide in next to him. He was grateful that my scent no longer bothered him; none of us could work out why, but I was glad that was one less thing the boy would have on his mind; my stench. Unfortunately, his smell still bothered me, but I had grown habituated to it over the last couple of days. I held my breath in anticipation as I moved closer to the boy. The heat from his body was radiating towards me, almost too hot for me to want to be near his skin. Although his heat couldn't affect me or change my body temperature, I nevertheless was not attracted to it like he was to my icy skin, perhaps because his felt similar to fire.
Despite all the comfort Jacob was quickly gaining from my presence, he couldn't escape the fact that I was a vampire, someone he once hated, and his rival for winning Bella's heart. That, coupled with us being half naked seemed like an impossible scene for him to conceive, and yet, it was a horrible reality. He was on the verge of laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation we were in, and I wondered what Bella would have said if she saw us. I suppressed a chuckle, just before Jacob's thoughts brought me back to reality.
This would be funny if it wasn't so damn confronting.
"Pretend I am a very cold statue," I suggested half-heartedly, knowing such a thing would be impossible, but I did not want to be overcome with Jacob's discomfort on top of my own. It would be too much.
Yeah right, Jacob returned.
I figured I couldn't be so lucky.
My talking must have emphasised the reality that I could never be a statue, so Jacob turned away from me to look up at the ceiling, evidently wanting to forget I was even there.
Nevertheless, I continued to lie on my side as I watched his gaze, which was determined to stay away from mine.
I stared at the boy in silence, as I listened to what was being said downstairs.
"Can you tell how they are going?" Alice asked Jasper after a minute of silence.
"Jacob feels cooler, so Edward must be near him, but when Edward had his hand on Jacob's chest, he felt better then than he does now," Jasper reported, much to my displeasure; I knew what Carlisle would be requesting of me next, and I could tell Jacob was already being pushed to his limits.
Are you touching him, Edward?
I suppressed a sigh, and decided to force the relief I could give Jacob onto the boy.
So while Jacob was lying down pondering how he would make it through the night with me ten centimetres from him, I cringed knowing I was about to make such a feat more difficult for him. I gently placed my hand on Jacob's chest again. He gasped due to the coldness which, as he suspected, was much more intense without a shirt on.
"He is now," Jasper updated my family, though unnecessarily as they heard Jacob's gasp from down stairs.
"Well done, Edward. Try to get as much of his skin in contact with yours as possible."
I believed Carlisle was being overly hopeful in his goal for me; it was a miracle I was even lying next to Jacob, let alone have any part of his body touching mine. Nevertheless, I cautiously endeavoured to work out the best way to encourage Jacob to turn towards me so his torso, the largest surface area on his body, would be against mine. The image caused me to cringe, knowing that exactly what Jacob and Carlisle imagined would soon come true, but I needed to experiment- to try.
So I slowly slid my hand over the boy's shoulder, and then placed it under him slightly, pulling him towards me.
He turned to face me, but didn't move closer. I saw a bead of sweat on his forehead, and automatically reached out to wipe it away, wondering whether the boy would allow me to be that close to him. When he didn't object, I placed my hand on his back.
We were now so close our bodies were almost touching.
He doesn't like being so close, Jasper warned me immediately.
Neither do I, I thought to myself; it was unbelievably uncomfortable.
He will pull away if you don't find a way to make this easier for him, and I could feel from Jasper and from the boy how true this was.
Although he was merely staring at my chest, the many thoughts flying through Jacob's mind and the sound of his frantic heart told me that this scene was too strange for him to witness.
"Close your eyes," I whispered.
To my surprise, he did; all of his senses were fully attuned to what I was doing, and I knew that anything I did would not remain unnoticed by the boy.
Having heard my words to Jacob, Carlisle began instructing me again:
"Try to close the gap between you, hopefully he will be less likely to resist if he cannot see you."
But he can feel it, as can I, I told myself, highly reluctant to obey my father. But I had to, this was my opportunity.
"Jasper tells me you have your doubts, Edward, but act slowly, and hopefully he will grow accustomed to this situation before long," Carlisle reminded me patiently and gently.
Knowing that Jacob wouldn't miss a beat, I gently moved my other arm and placed it around his other side so there was nothing separating us except space. I poised my chin above his head, but didn't rest it on him.
The change in my position, however slight, had a significant impact on Jacob who could feel my skin moving against his as we breathed. Unable to resist his curiosity any longer, Jacob opened his eyes, and was immediately averse to seeing my chest and nothing else. He wanted to move, to break free, and yet, he was already starting to feel better. I forced myself to remain still as Jacob's boiling breath blew onto my skin, his own skin burning mine as we lay there silently.
At first, I thought all was going well, and Jasper, who had sensed the improvements in Jacob, informed our father of these positive changes.
And then suddenly: No, this is too much.
"I can't do this," Jacob told me, his scorching breath hitting my chest. "There has to be a better way- where is Jasper and Carlisle?" he interrogated me, and for a moment I felt hurt that he would prefer one of them- not that I would have minded; anything to escape this situation. But I placed my offence aside when I saw that Jacob was desperately looking for an alternative plan- it wasn't personal. He felt ridiculous- the whole idea was ridiculous, and I tended to agree, but I needed to have faith in my father.
"He was doing well; Jacob does not need us," Carlisle impressed upon me, and I could tell he hoped Jacob would soon become peaceful again once I convinced him that he had no other choice.
"You don't need them," I reminded Jacob gently in my melodious tone in the hope that my voice would appease him.
"Don't try to soothe me with your voice; it isn't going to work!"
Damn.
"What?" he demanded when I didn't answer him, "are they sick of me?"
"No," I told him seriously, my tone more serious now. "Carlisle has been telling me what to do; I can hear his thoughts. And Jasper is downstairs, but you do not need him."
I can't believe this was Carlisle's idea.
"If you would prefer another one of us to lie here-" I added sharply, my frustration piquing with my discomfort.
"No- I- I can't do this," Jacob insisted forcibly as he tried to put his hands in between us. But I didn't budge; I continued to hold him to me; as much as I wished we could, I knew I couldn't let him give up.
"Let go of me!" Jacob yelled at me, as he tried to push me away from him.
"Jacob-"
"You told me that if I didn't like it, you would stop!" he accused me, his voice getting louder and louder the longer I refused to obey his wishes. "You promised!" Jacob screamed, deafening me.
Edward, Jasper said weakly, and I knew he was on the verge of leaving the house; Jacob's helplessness, and complete vulnerability was making Jasper shake with emotional intensity.
Be careful not to get him too worked up, Edward, Carlisle reminded me, standing up, concerned that perhaps I had aggravated Jacob beyond what he was capable of handling in his current state. But Jacob's active resistance gave me something to work with, because now I had something for him to focus on.
"Calm your thoughts, Jacob," I replied urgently; my mind was quickly becoming overwhelmed with his panic.
"You want me to be calm? I'm not even going to be able to sleep like this- I can't relax- I feel-"
"Vulnerable?" I suggested heavily, feeling the full weight of his vulnerability as well as my own.
Jacob visibly cringed at the truth of it.
"It's okay to feel vulnerable," I whispered. "I feel that way too, but this is important so try to trust me."
Jacob fidgeted next me, wishing he didn't have to do just that. He found relaxing to be an impossible request.
"I'm not expecting your body to calm down, only your mind. Close your eyes and tell me how your fever is affecting you."
"It won't work."
"Trust me," I breathed as he shifted his position slightly so I could rub his back in the hope of comforting him.
My plan seemed to work, and reluctantly Jacob began to calm down. His skin felt normal when in contact with me, though unfortunately the awkwardness of the situation made it too difficult for him to actually relish this moment of relief.
"Well done, Edward," Carlisle praised me, as he had heard from Jasper that Jacob was not as agitated as before. So naturally, the next 'step' needed to take place.
"If Jacob's face is not against your skin, try to get him to; it will help his fever, then the cloth will not be necessary as your skin will be far more effective."
I tensed my body in anticipation as I forced myself not to think about what I was doing and just do it. So I slowly moved my arm towards the back of Jacob's neck and then gently pulled his head towards my chest.
"Turn your head sideways," I encouraged the boy. "It will cool your face faster," I explained.
To my surprise, Jacob obeyed my request. I paid close attention to his thoughts as he slowly pressed his ear to my chest, his eyes tightly closed so he couldn't see what he was doing.
It's freaky that I can't hear your heart beat, he commented once his warm ear had been resting against my skin for five seconds.
"That's because I don't have one," I reminded him firmly, trying to sound like the fact didn't bother me. Interestingly, the boy thought I was trying to be funny- I suppose I couldn't blame him for trying to lighten up the situation we were in. And yet, his thoughts quickly skipped back to two days previously as he briefly remembered all of the times I had helped him whilst under my father's care. He couldn't quite accept that I was dead, that I had no heart… his thoughts made me feel more human some how, and I allowed myself to relax knowing that the boy had no intention of objecting further to my presence.
Despite my empty chest and the ringing silence in our ears, Jacob took a couple of deep breaths, my scent providing him with a strange soothing feeling that allowed him to relax. And within five minutes, the boy was calm, and drifting off to sleep. I would have questioned whether Jasper was using his gift, but my brother's assertion from downstairs told me he had no part to play in any of this.
"Unbelievable," Jasper muttered in obvious disbelief; although he hoped I would succeed, he didn't expect me to.
"Amazing, Edward; very well done. Remember to ask Jacob to tell you if he feels cold."
"If you begin to feel cold, tell me straight away," I whispered in Jacob's ear, a smile of relief on my face.
Jacob nodded, his temple brushing along my chest.
"Goodnight Jacob."
After five minutes, Jacob was sound asleep. I allowed myself to sigh as my mind became free of his thoughts, of Carlisle's concern, and Jasper's discomfort. Without his anxiety, self-consciousness, and awkwardness, I was able to relax- to feel his calm breathing and the steadiness of his pulse told me that this was worth it; it worked.
Now that Jacob was resting soundly, I desperately wanted to communicate with my family, and they also desired to hear my response to their many questions and thoughts. Obviously, I couldn't move from my current position; it was vital that I stay with Jacob until his temperature was stable.
I lifted my head upward so my mouth was as far away from Jacob's ears as possible. In the softest, quickest tone I could, I asked:
"Carlisle, can you hear me?"
Yes, my father answered me immediately.
I paused, tensed waiting to see if Jacob heard me. Thankfully the boy was a deep sleeper, and didn't even stir.
Perfect, I said to myself, and then allowed myself to continue conversing.
"I am able to talk in this manner- Jacob appears to be in a restful slumber."
"He is sleeping deeply," Jasper agreed with me, which gave me confidence to continue talking without constantly fearing that he could wake up at any moment.
"Please let me know if you notice any change in his pattern," I requested of my brother.
Of course, he answered me.
"So where do we go from here?" Alice asked cheerfully, and I knew that she was glad the intense moment her husband was so seriously affected by had finally passed.
"We?" I emphasised, wondering why Alice and Jasper hadn't left our house to have a break whilst I was speaking with Jacob earlier in the evening. "I will be able to handle Jacob from here. Although Jasper's gift was invaluable, I do not believe Jacob will cause us any more problems."
"What are you suggesting?" Jasper asked, curious to know what I was implicating.
"You and Alice both deserve a break," I informed him, raising my voice slightly for emphasis. "Spend some time together; I am sure between myself, Carlisle, and Esme, we will be able to keep Jacob at a stable temperature for the rest of the night."
"Well it would be nice to go outside for a while…" Alice trailed off as she imagined various ways she could distract Jasper from the awkwardness he had so strongly felt from myself and Jacob. I tried to block out her thoughts, and with her assistance, I managed to do so.
Sorry, Edward, she giggled; this was not the first time she had been carried away with her thoughts, and I knew it wouldn't be the last.
I ignored Alice's apology for the sake of furthering my point.
"Please, I insist," I said firmly. "You have both spent much of your time assisting in Jacob's care, despite how difficult it has been for both of you given your gifts. I know Jacob has appreciated your assistance, as have I, so please take some time to recuperate; it is the least you deserve."
"You have both done an amazing job," Esme supported me.
"Very well," Jasper agreed, and I saw his intention to grab Alice's hand, and lead her towards the river.
"Wait! I have to know how Edward survived that ordeal before we leave!" Alice insisted, grabbing her husband's hand before he could leave the room.
I chuckled, as did Carlisle and Esme. I knew Jasper would not be impressed by the prospect; my feelings were one of the two things he was having difficulty ignoring moments ago. But Alice was persistent- we all knew she would be, so I decided it would save us all time if I gave in to her.
"I promise to be brief," I told my brother, who I saw nod and return to his seat next to his wife.
"It wasn't easy," I told my family honestly.
"That is an understatement," Jasper muttered, though his words were heard clearly by all of us.
I chuckled softly, careful to not let my moving chest wake Jacob up.
"Yes, it was very difficult. Jacob frequently insisted that there had to be a better way, and I found myself wishing there was-"
"I am terribly sorry, Edward- it was the only plan I was certain would work- it was not worth precious time determining whether another option could be effective; time was of utmost importance," my father informed me, genuinely apologetic for the ordeal he had place us in.
"There is no need to apologise- I am certain ice would have melted on him, and thankfully-"
"Vampires don't melt!" Alice chimed in, her laugh tinkling in my ears.
"Right, vampires don't," I agreed with her, appeasing her enthusiasm. "I was certain it was the only way- it simply took a few minutes to convince myself of this fact- a part of me wanted to give in to Jacob's wishes, but naturally, my faith in my father drove my persistence."
"Thank you, Edward," Carlisle whispered modestly, though I could tell he never took my respect for him for granted. "It must have been difficult to endure Jacob's feelings and thoughts, as well as your own, and Jasper's too. I know," Carlisle paused momentarily, feeling a wave of sympathy for Jasper, "that Jasper was having difficulty coping."
"I have never felt so overcome- so averse to a situation in my entire life," Jasper asserted humourlessly- it was a feeling he wished he could forget, and I couldn't blame him.
"Thank you for enduring that for us, Jasper."
You're welcome.
"Didn't you feel self-conscious? You know, without a shirt on? It doesn't really matter for Jacob because he's used to being half-naked all the time," Alice joked, though was clearly curious as to how I was able to endure skin-on-skin contact with another guy. She didn't specifically say her question in such a way, but I knew that was what she was implying.
"I did feel self-conscious, but then I realised that his own discomfort would overpower any judgement he would have made of my own body. Nevertheless, it was not a pleasant situation to be in, but I forced myself to endure my vulnerability as well as his, knowing- hoping that it would be worth it."
"And it was, you have done an amazing job, Edward," Esme praised me.
"Thank you, Esme," I whispered gratefully, because I felt proud that after all we had been through, despite the intense and personal nature of my request, Jacob still respected me and my father enough to try. One could argue that he did it solely for his own health, but I knew he never would agree to it if he didn't trust us.
"Does anyone else find it interesting or perhaps ironic that vampires and wolves are opposites of each other in that way? We keep one another balanced- only a vampire could have saved a wolf from such a serious fever," Alice pointed out, speculating out loud.
"You make an interesting point Alice; Jacob needed you tonight, Edward, and I am very proud of you for staying with him. Again, I am sorry for asking you to do something so uncomfortable, but you endured the discomfort with great maturity, as did you, Jasper. I am very proud of you both," Carlisle praised us, and I knew he was smiling as he spoke.
"He really must trust you, Edward," Alice pointed out, and I could hear the smile in her voice too.
"It seems that way," I agreed with her, and in doing so, I truly hoped she was right.
"I am sure Edward, myself and Esme can watch over Jacob while the two of you have a break. Thank you for remaining here with us, Jasper; I could tell you wanted to leave," Carlisle acknowledged, and I could feel how much my father empathised with Jasper, whose gift was at times both a blessing and a curse.
I saw Jasper nod through Carlisle's eyes. Alice then wrapped her arms around Jasper's torso in comfort. "I am relieved it is over," Jasper admitted with a sigh.
"I can only imagine," Carlisle said kindly, and with genuine concern. "Please, have a break; we will see you when you return."
My siblings stood up, Alice hugging Esme and Carlisle before heading towards the door.
Bye Edward, see you soon! Alice called out in her mind. I smiled to myself, not bothering to answer her; she wouldn't be able to hear me.
I was glad the two of them finally had the time to have a proper break; their genuine care for Jacob, despite how Jacob negatively impacted their gifts, was a pleasure to witness.
As I continued to lie next to Jacob, his temperature physically lowering by the minute, I marvelled at how close Jacob and I had become in the last couple of days. It was, quite frankly extraordinary, and to witness the mutual respect between him and my family was something I never deemed possible.
It was with contentment that I continued to hold Jacob to me, the boy still sleeping soundly against my chest.
Four hours later, Jasper and Alice returned. It was vital that I kept out of their heads for as long as possible, as brief flashes of what they did in the forest crossed their minds. Neither of them came upstairs to visit me, which I was grateful for. During their absence, Carlisle and Esme had both joined me in the study to see how Jacob was. Carlisle was relieved to notice that Jacob was no longer sweating (a fact that I was also grateful for), and seemed to be doing well.
I could tell, by the way Esme was looking at him sleeping soundly against my body, that she had developed a soft spot for Jacob- despite the history between our family and his tribe, the boy was able to overcome his instincts- the potential to change was evident in him, and it gave my mother hope that one day the tribe and the Cullens would be on friendlier terms.
One hour after Jasper and Alice returned, I heard them watching one of Alice's favourite movies on TV. I was listening in even though I had seen the movie five times in my existence, for something to do. When the movie suddenly paused, I snapped out of my reverie having registered this unexpected interruption. There were quick steps ascending the stairs, and within a second, Jasper was at Carlisle's office door. Immediately I registered my brother's concern.
"Could you assist me?" I asked him quietly, as I gently began to move off the bed, as I tried my best not to wake up Jacob. The boy was becoming slightly restless, which is what alerted Jasper to the fact that he was feeling cool. Once my feet touched the floor, and Jacob was still sleeping, however restlessly, I grabbed my shirt from a nearby table and put it on. In the mean time, Jasper had approached the folded blankets I had placed on the bedside and was already in the process of tucking them around Jacob to keep him warm. Immediately, I saw the boy instinctively grab onto one of them, pulling it closer to his neck; hopefully he hadn't been cold for too long.
Once Jasper and I were both satisfied that Jacob was appropriately warm, the two of us left Carlisle's office, and a resting Jacob. It was a relief to leave the place after six hours of lying down on a bed.
"Thank you, Jasper," I whispered gratefully to him, as we descended the stairs.
"You're welcome. I am able to sense how his body is feeling from down here. I will let you know if he feels warm again," Jasper offered, of which I was thankful.
"I appreciate that Jasper," and then together we sat on the couch next to Alice, who then pressed 'play' so we could continue watching her movie with her.
Thankfully, Jacob slept soundly that night; we didn't need to remove the blankets off of him, and he never woke up. I spent two hours enduring a good movie, and the peaceful thoughts of my family before welcoming Billy Black into our home, seeing Sam again and most importantly, having the opportunity to be near the love of my life.
Eight hours ago, in the face of Jacob's fever, I would have thought it impossible that I would later be sitting comfortably in my living room, migraine free.
But I was; we had survived the most awkward moment of our lives.
Author's note: I hope you guys enjoyed this outtake! As you may have noticed, I changed Jacob's core body temperature to 108 in this outtake (to be in line with canon), even though he reported it as 102 in 'Trust me'. As I wish to keep within canon, Jacob's core temperature in my story is 108, and thus his 'fever' temperature is 112. I hope that clarifies things a little :)
So please let me know what you thought of the outtake! Please, please review; I can't wait to read your thoughts!
The next outtake I will write is from Rosalie's perspective where Jacob phases as a result of her cruelty. I have not begun writing it yet, but will try to get it done as soon as possible. I envisage that it will comprise of two parts, but we'll see :)
I hope you're all well, and please remember to review; I miss hearing from you guys!