Hey everyone, i'm sorry this has taken a while but i have been almost clueless how to start this chapter, but today i had a sudden brain wave and i had to write some of it down. i dont have enough time to finish it today but i was too excited not to post this so far... so this is part 1 to be continued!

ENJOY AND PLEASE REVIEW

Jared's POV

The world is madness, deceitful, cruel and challenging. The greatest of people get the worst of things. I'd think to myself there are very few lucky ones in life, who get it all good, with no sacrifice and loss. I counted myself as one of them very few select human beings; it was extraordinarily fascinating how my happiness bloomed out of what was beautiful in my life, which turned out to be everything. I had it all, and I was infinite.

Now I am nothing.

Bella's POV

I was willing to sacrifice the world for my unborn baby. My world meaning Edward. There was nothing more death defying than my love for him, but my unborn baby was somehow a potent incentive for me to risk my world for it. A connection that no words could ever possibly describe, mentally forced me to hold on and carry this unplanned intruder. It didn't matter that it was going to rip and shred my body apart internally to get itself out; there was a connection that couldn't possibly bring me to get rid of it. Renesmee was worth that sacrifice, she was worth me being slaughtered alive just so she could live. But looking down onto her emotionless, still cold body, made me realise the absolute torture Edward must have had to endure watching me physically waste away, with the unknown burden upon him not knowing if and when I would make it through, or simply just die.

I held on to Renesmee's palm to try and read her thoughts, to see what kind of pain she was suffering, but it scared me that her vision was blackness, emptiness or whatever. There was unpredictable hope for my darling angel, Edward and Rosalie had finished doing whatever they possibly could of done to help save and recover Renesmee, and now we were left to wait and see the outcome of it. Edward naturally would come and comfort me, but he just knelt there a few inches besides me, with his hands in tights fists, his left fist against his mouth and has sincere and deep concentration on our daughter's body. i knew he was miraculously thinking of additional help he could give her, but i knew there wouldn't be solution.

Carlisle came over straight after he announced Kim's death, to try and see what further help he could provide for Renesmee, but he too said there was nothing more we could do. Jared and other members of the pack left shortly after, but Jared was in fits, hyperventilating knowing that his soul mate had just passed away and he never even had the opportunity to say goodbye or anything. No way at all he could bring her back. She was gone, and the reality of it was never going to fully sink in for him. Carlisle covered up Kim's body and Sam, once he had recovered himself from the state he was in from it too, carried Kim's body off somewhere but i didn't get the opportunity to find out.

Rensemee's POV

The warm spits of water from the shower made my skin tingle and feel extremely pleasant. I felt like i was hugging water. One of my favourite things about having a shower was its ability to be such a relaxing place to just close your eyes and think of things over in your head. With the comforting warmth as if Jacob was right in here with me. i wonder how amazing it would actually feel like to be in a hot shower, naked against my Jacob. I've seen in a few rated 15 films of couples having sex in the shower or bath, and coming to terms with it made me think it would be a pretty fun experience that i must try out at some point with Jacob.

As i rubbed the vanilla suds over my body i felt deep pain all up parts of my arms and patches over my chest and back, it took me aback when i looked at what was causing the pain to see myself covered head to toe in purple bruises. I stood there for a few moments re-collecting the past few days to think what could of given them too me, i was clueless apart from the other night with Jacob, he must of accidently given me busies whilst we had sex, we were pretty rough. However I didn't mind that it was from him, i mean i'm pretty tough myself, being half vampire and all; along with Jacob being a buff werewolf...sex was never going to be very gentle!

As i thought to myself how i was going to be able to tell Jacob we need to not be so rough during sex, it made me question the whole previous 20 minutes of this morning, i mean i swear yesterday i was grounded and i was under the impression i wasn't partially allowed to see Jacob, at least for another week or so...but how come when i awoke this morning he was lead next to me staring deeply into my eyes with a wide warming smile on his face? Surely Dad wouldn't have missed the opportunity in the slightest to grab Jacob by the scruff of the neck and literally chuck him out of the house? But when i walked downstairs to say good morning, dad and mum looked very happy, almost too happy with me seeing as they found out i had sex with Jacob? None of this was making sense in the slightest; i can't even remember the outcome of yesterday after... –

"Im going to have to make the most of Jacob before i get found out byt mum and dad that i'm gone, i can imagine it's going to be quite a long time until i can see him agai-"

I had a sudden flash back of yesterday and it wasn't how i remembered it to be from this morning.

I then had a sudden wave of blackness, as if the electrics suddenly went and it was the middle of night outside, but i could hear ear piercing screams in the back of my head which made me scream, and scream. I curled up naked in a ball on the shower floor just screaming with my fingers in my ears, i couldn't get out of the memory.

As i opened my eyes i could see mum grabbing my hands and pulling my finger out of my ears, making hushing noises to stop me screaming.

"Renesmee, shush, darling look at me you're safe, you're safe darling don't worry, shush"

I didn't care that my mum saw me naked, i didn't matter. I found it comforting to have her rock me like a baby on her lap as she wrapped me round in a big blanket and sat of the wicker armchair besides the shower and bath. That's when Jacob and dad came in, after i had covered myself...i would have minded dad seeing me naked, the thought if it was even scarring!

"Mum, dad i don't understand, what HAPPENED yesterday?" then i burst into tears, nothing made sense and the screams were never going to leave the back of my mind. They were terrifyingly excruciating, you wouldn't even hear them in a horror movie.

"Honey don't panic, we will explain after you have got yourself dried and dressed, but please be careful of your bruises, which will also be explained, Jacob go downstairs and get her a glass of water and Bella you help Renesmee get changed and try and stop her from crying. We love you darling Renesmee and you are okay!"

"Okay we will be down in 10 minutes Edward, come on Renesmee, shh, please don't cry baby!"

Dad and Jacob walked out of the room, but Jacob kept looking back with an emotionless expression on his face, his eyes were red and looked sore, i then recalled seeing them like that this morning too, but i was too taken aback by his smile and presence than to take much notice with his eyes. I hope he is okay i hated seeing him upset, but this only worried me more with why i was like this. What happened? I just want to know.

Mum kissed my forehead and followed me into my room, sat me down on the bed and went through my closet to find my trackies and a soft baggy top to throw on.

After i put them on genteelly, mum knelt down besides my bed looking up to me and held my hand.

"I know you have a lot of questions, and you must be pretty confused right now but daddy will explain okay, and what you will hear won't be good, i will tell you that, but i promise you everything will be okay, i am always, always here for you darling, even at the end of the word i will have your hand in mine okay?"

"Please can we just go to dad, i desperately want to understand what the hell is going on, am i dying? I thought i was in the shower...i thought i was dying" I started to cry again and mum leapt up and cuddled me tightly.

"And why was Jacob so sad, what's happened to him, is he hurt, did i or dad do anything to upset him, is he angry with me?"

"Shhh no darling of course not, he is just worried but come on now, let's go downstairs and all will be reviled...it's just not going to be easy for you especially, and everyone else, particularly Jacob for that matter."

PLEASE REVIEW, i promise i will try and get on with part 2 continued asap but i just wanted to post this so far :)