Title:Undisclosed Desires
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R for now
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt/Blaine, in all combinations.
Chapter: 3/?
Word Count: 2110
Spoilers: Let's say everything to be safe :)
Summary/Warnings: From a tumblr prompt. Blaine and Kurt are both having secret affairs with Finn while trying to keep their own relationship from falling apart. But not everything is as simple as it seems, and nothing can stay secret for long.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Undisclosed Desires
Chapter Three
Kurt has a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach; a gnawing, roiling unease that won't go away and has been shifting around ever since he'd gotten back from dinner with Rachel the other night.
Finn and Blaine aren't close.
Finn and Blaine don't even like each other.
So why is Finn so adamant that he's going to help Blaine, and why did they look so comfortable around each other on the sofa that night?
Also, he reflects absently as he sinks deeper into the bathtub and feels the warm water lap around him, why has Blaine been moving so stiffly over the last few days? There's obviously something bugging him, wincing and trying to stay away from sitting on chairs that aren't padded, and if Kurt didn't know any better he'd almost, almost say that Blaine's been with somebody else, but…
But it's Blaine.
He'd never do that to Kurt, because…
And Kurt stops, an icy claw clenching around his heart, because not so long ago he said the same thing: I'll never cheat on him. And what had he done?
Cheated.
With Finn.
And he's still cheating with Finn, so is it so hard to believe thatBlaine would…
But then, why not just end it? Why put themselves through this?
He sinks down a little lower, the tips of his hair getting wet but he can't bring himself to care as he idly scoops bubbles around.
Blaine's not cheating on him. He wouldn't do that.
He's still deep in thought when the bathroom door opens and Finn slides in, staring at the mirror and scrubbing a swipe of chocolate frosting off of his cheek (Kurt's not going to ask). He finally succeeds, balling up the Kleenex and tossing it at the garbage can like it's a basketball, pumping his fist when it lands directly in the bin.
"Very impressive," Kurt says dryly and Finn turns to him, brown eyes widening as if he hadn't noticed Kurt was even in there.
"Dude, bubble bath! Can I join?"
And somehow Finn has the uncanny ability to turn into a puppy at the slightest provocation, even though he has matured incredibly since high school.
It's still Finn, however, and the day he lost his childlike innocence would be a sad day indeed, so a large part of Kurt hoped that it never went away.
"Is Blaine around?" the question's almost natural by now and he hates that fact, but he has to ask.
"Nah, he 'n Rach have got rehearsal or something. Just us," Finn's already pulling off his shirt, and oh, Kurt can't resist shirtless Finn.
He's never been able to, and it hasn't gotten any better over the years, especially not with the way Finn's slimmed down and toned his body since high school, abs more defined and skin tanned in a way Kurt will never be able to achieve and no, Kurt's not saying no.
"Okay," he concedes and Finn drops his jeans, nothing under them as Kurt sighs and Finn nearly bounces over, taking great care not to splash him as he sinks down into the water, which Kurt certainly appreciates.
Finn pulls Kurt to rest between his legs and Kurt leans his head back against the other man's shoulder, Finn's arms around his waist securely as he kisses the side of Kurt's neck.
"Finn…"
"Sorry," he can feel Finn smile against his skin, the other man's hands sliding down his body as Kurt squirms and laughs a little at the sensations. Finn always makes him feel safe and relaxed, like he can forget for a few moments about why this should be wrong, or what Blaine's doing, or what he can do to help his boyfriend.
Because Blaine needs help, and Kurt's more than sure of that by now.
"You seem tense," Finn notes, his voice rumbling low in Kurt's ear.
"Blaine," Kurt emits the name on a sigh as Finn nods against his shoulder. "I'm…"
"Worried," Finn fills in for him, one hand splaying over his stomach. "I'm worried, too."
"Why?" Kurt finally asks, the question burning in his throat as it escapes. Shouldn't he be happy Blaine and Finn are getting along? Why is he so nervous about their budding friendship, then?
"Because he's important to you, and you're important to me," Finn whispers, licking the shell of Kurt's ear as Kurt moans softly and presses back.
"Finn, don't…"
But Finn's breath is hot on his face, his hands slipping down and Kurt feels himself hardening without meaning to. He needs to end this. He needs to stay faithful. He needs…
"Finn," he groans as Finn wraps a hand around him, stroking gently. "Don't. Please."
And Finn's hand drops away, pulling back from Kurt altogether. "Sorry. I thought…sorry. You're right. This is so…this is so screwed up, Kurt…" he sounds a little broken and Kurt hushes him gently, taking his hands and rubbing them with his own.
"I know, sweetie. It is," he sighs, no way to deny it. The water's still a comfortable temperature and Finn starts kissing his shoulder, tongue lapping up the water droplets from where Kurt had nearly submerged himself earlier. "What can we do about it?"
"His drinking?" Finn pulls back to ask, taking Kurt's cue and placing his arms around the shorter man's waist once more. "Will he get help?"
"No," Kurt's fairly sure of this, especially since he's taken up the issue with the other man more times than he can count. Blaine doesn't believe it's bad enough to warrant him searching out help, but he's nineteen and already drinking more than most people ever do.
There's something horribly concerning about it and Kurt's debated throwing out the alcohol or dumping it down the drain when Blaine sneaks it in, he doesn't want to deal with the inevitable fallout that will occur when Blaine finds out.
They have enough problems as it is.
"Then all we can do is be there for him," Finn shivers and Kurt knows something's up with him, because the water's not cold. A tiny part of his brain is telling him that there's an obvious connection between Finn's jumpy behavior, Finn and Blaine's sudden closeness, and the fact that Blaine's been limping around like he's been on the receiving end of a particularly rough bout of sex.
But no.
No.
They'd never.
Kurt whimpers as Finn's hand closes around him again, big and warm, and gives himself over to it.
"Finn," he arches, one hand flung back to wrap around Finn's neck and pull him closer, panting against his mouth (they don't kiss, they don't kiss, they don't kiss) as Finn strokes him slowly, both of them so close but no, Kurt won't.
He won't.
He buries his face in Finn's shoulder, back twisted obscenely but it's fine for him, and whimpers as Finn rubs a thumb over the head of his cock, his fingers calloused and yet gentle at the same time, and Kurt ruts back against him, knowing that Finn's just as hard as he is.
He's still got his face against Finn's neck, arm around to clasp the back of his neck with his opposite hand, body turned into him as he whines and shifts his hips.
"God, Kurt," Finn moans into his ear and this is all wrong, so wrong, he has to put a stop to this…
He comes with a drawn out cry as Finn clutches at him, too tightly but he's holding on with the same desperation, fingers digging into Finn's shoulder as he shifts almost sideways, Finn groaning in his ear and yes, Finn's gotten better, but this was apparently enough for him and maybe Finn's body just has some weakness for hot water, but that seems to be all it takes and Kurt's almost grateful for that.
What they're doing doesn't make it any better, but for some reason it feels less like cheating when Finn isn't coming inside of him, and the thought conjures up unbidden the image of the two of them, Kurt's legs locked around Finn's waist and his head thrown back, back arched as Finn kisses his cheeks and nose and eyelids and throat, anywhere that's not his lips.
It doesn't matter, and he knows that.
Cheating is cheating.
But, God help him, he can't stop.
Finn's panting harshly into his ear, chest heaving with breath as he holds Kurt close, and the next words that come out of his mouth shake Kurt to the core.
"Do you love him?"
Kurt hesitates for the briefest of moments.
Not because he doesn't know the answer: he does. Unequivocally. Blaine's important to him in a way that nobody (save Finn) has been able to achieve, and the thought of losing him feels like a leaden weight settling in the pit of Kurt's stomach.
"Yes," he finally whispers, hearing Finn sigh into his hair.
He knows what this is. This isn't a confession of love from Finn, a sort of 'if you don't love him anymore what's keeping us from being together?'
It's as far from it as one can get.
This is just Finn being Finn, blunt and obtuse and not sugar-coating the point at all. He wants to know for no other purpose than to know, and Kurt's learned that by now.
He can read Finn better than anybody.
…Except right now. Whatever's going on between him and Blaine has proverbial alarm bells ringing in his skull and Kurt's determined to get to the bottom of it.
Even if it breaks his heart.
He hangs onto Finn and tires to forget about everything except the warmth of the tub, the heat of Finn's hands on his skin, and the gentle way Finn's stroking his back.
It almost works.
000
He's sitting at the table with a mug of tea when Blaine walks in, smiling and looking happier than Kurt's seen him in a long while; eyes sparkling and hair wind-tousled, a hint of red on his cheeks from the brisk air.
God, he looks like the boy Kurt first fell in love with, and a big part of him wishes that he could feel like this all the time and he'd never have to see Blaine bleary-eyed and surly, vomiting poison into the toilet while Kurt tries to ignore the sounds coming from the washroom.
That's not Blaine.
…Kurt's not even sure who it is.
"Hey, baby,"Blaine sweeps over and kisses him, tasting of peppermint gum and a hint of coffee on the back of his tongue, and Kurt returns the kiss eagerly and pulls Blaine onto his lap as the other man laughs.
"How was rehearsal?"
"Great,"Blaine drapes his arms around Kurt's neck and smiles down at him. "Admittedly, I'm getting a little tired of plays where I have to kiss Rachel, but…"
"Hey, you were the one that wanted to kiss her once upon a time," Kurt refutes, not even bitter about that incident anymore. Rachel may get to kiss Blaine on stage, but Kurt gets to do it everywhere else.
"God, what was I thinking?"Blaine chuckles and Kurt sees his opening, tiny as it may be.
"You weren't. You were drunk," he intones quietly and Blaine's eyes snap to meet his.
"Kurt…can we not…"
"No, no we have to talk about it. Maybe not now. But soon," Kurt doesn't really want to ruin this moment, because it's the happiest he can remember feeling with Blaine for a long time.
"Okay,"Blaine says after hesitating a moment too long, and Kurt knows it won't be this easy.
It's never this easy.
"Okay," he echoes the other man and kisses him again, softly, Blaine sighing against his lips before drawing away.
"I'm going to get changed and then grab a snack,"Blaine tells him, hugging him gently before standing up and moving to their bedroom, and Kurt drops his head to the table and starts to mindlessly pick at a stray thread in the placemat, wrinkling his nose but not having the strength to go find a scissor at the moment.
"What'd he say?" Finn's suddenly there, rubbing his shoulders and Kurt sighs at the contact.
"Mm. He promised he'd talk about it," he murmurs, opening his eyes halfway and staring at the clock on the stove. It's not even that late, but he feels like he's been doing manual labor all day and he can barely lift his head.
"That's better than nothing," Finn sounds almost reflective, an odd thing for him, and Kurt sighs heavily and nods as best he can.
It's better than nothing.
But Kurt's still not sure it's enough.
Notes:
1. Thank you so much for the responses on the last chapter, guys! I'm so glad people are, well, enjoying the fic for what it is and sticking with this. Keep the replies coming :) This chapter was almost fluffy for this fic, I think xP
2. And for anybody still wondering, we *will* get to Finn's POV at some point. I'm deliberately not writing it for now, though…