Liara stared at the console screen in front of her without really seeing it. When she heard the doors open behind her, she didn't look up. She already knew who it was.

Everyone had made it out. Not unscathed, but alive. The rumble that they had heard shake the complex a few moments before they'd come across Benezia had been Garrus and Tali using some kind of failsafe in the station's VI to clear out the rest of the crazed rachni. They'd had a bad scare when Tali's suit had gotten a rupture but Garrus had looked out for her while she sealed it and started pumping antibiotics into her system and Dr. Chakwas had gotten her patched up.

Shepard had spent the last few hours as they left Noveria dealing with the fallout from the mission. Wrex was furious that they had let the queen go. She'd heard him arguing with Shepard earlier. Liara supposed his anger was understandable. So many of his ancestors had died fighting the rachni. Wrex had finally stomped back to the lower decks, growling that the krogan would clean up this mess just like they did for the salarians. Liara had not been privy to Shepard's report to the Council, but she could only imagine what they had to say about the reappearance of the rachni and Benezia's death.

Mother.

Shepard leaned against the desk beside Liara, looking down at her silently. Liara finally made herself look at her. "If you came here to talk about Benezia's death, you need not bother. She brought it on herself." If she kept saying that to herself over and over, it might even become true.

"She was your mother, Liara," Shepard said quietly.

"She was...and she wasn't. I want...I prefer to remember her as she used to be, before she was corrupted by Sovereign's power."

"And what's best in her lives on in you. You know that, right? Her determination, intelligence, strength..."

You've always made me proud, Liara.

"That's...that's kind of you to say. I'm fine, Shepard...she chose her path. And I've chosen mine." She wasn't ready to talk about her. Not yet.

Shepard nodded and fell silent. She seemed to know on some level what Liara was feeling and respected it. Liara, not for the first time, tried to reconcile the many faces this woman showed the world...and herself. "What was your mother's name, Shepard?" she blurted out suddenly.

Shepard looked startled. At first, Liara didn't think she was going to answer, but Shepard surprised her. "Mirette. Her name was Mirette."

Liara looked back at the console. "What was she like?"

"What brought this on?"

Liara was quiet for a moment. At first, she had simply been looking for something to move the subject away from her mother. Now, she wasn't sure where it was going. "I know so much about the things you've done, Shepard...and yet I know nothing about you. Not really. You give so much of yourself away to everyone, and yet you give nothing of yourself at all. I don't know how you do it."

Shepard just stared at her. Liara was embarrassed, but determined at the same time.

Shepard stirred and turned, pulling up her pants leg to reveal a tattoo on the area above her ankle. "She was the Queen of Cups. Kind, gentle, passionate..."

Liara leaned over to peer at the tattoo. It was a rectangle framing the image of a woman sitting on a throne, holding a chalice of some sort in her hands. Liara recognized it as an image from the deck of cards Shepard had showed them one night. Tarot cards, that was what they were called. Addison Chase had claimed she knew how to tell the future and give solutions to problems using cards- which seemed ridiculous to even some of the humans -and Shepard had brought them out so Chase could show them how it worked. She had even laid out a few different spreads herself, though she claimed she hadn't tried it since she was a child. The cards, Liara remembered now, had been her mother's.

"She was beautiful...I don't look anything like her, unfortunately. And so strong. Even by the time we came to Mindoir, she was fighting off a drug addiction."

"You weren't born on Mindoir?"

"No. We settled there and started working for this couple that owned several acres of crops and orchards. Milo and Carmen, and all their children. They looked after us, gave Maman a job. A home. Between them and Pere Mulligan...he was the priest of the church...they helped her stay straight. Shake off the last of addiction."

"That can't have been easy for her."

"She was the bravest woman I've ever known. She never let it sour her, or make her bitter. She used to spend hours making little things for children. Little dolls made out of leftover corn husks and bracelets of woven thrushes. She loved myths and fairy tales. Sometimes she'd mix them all together into entirely new ones. She'd even do that with Bible stories once in a while, which really pissed off the more rigid people in the community. They thought she was a bad influence, but no one really listened to them."

"What about your father?" The moment the words left her lips, she realized it was a mistake to ask. Shepard's face went blank of any expression and she looked away. "I'm sorry..." Even more because she thought she caught a glimmer of fear pass across her expression before she shut it down.

"I'll tell you one thing that sums up my father," Shepard said quietly. "For as long as she lived, my mother wore a pendant that my father gave her. A token of his love, so he said. It was a silver filagree heart, a one of a kind design. Handmade by his grandfather of many greats a century ago and passed down through generations." She sat on the desk, staring out across the lab. "When I graduated from the N7 program, my father sent me a gift: a box that held about five necklaces, all the same filagree heart design as my mother's."

It took a moment for that to sink in. Liara's eyes widened in shock.

Shepard's lips twisted into a bitter smile. "It could have been worse. He could have sent it to her while she was still alive. Probably would have, if he'd known where she was." She made a dismissive gesture. "So...that's a reason I'd rather not talk about my father." She cocked her head. "What about yours? Or...your mother's partner? I know a cock isn't a requirement for the asari to reproduce."

That startled a small laugh out of Liara. "No, it isn't. I never knew who Benezia's partner was, except it was another asari. Mother didn't talk about it. Breeding between two asari is...not encouraged."

"I know 'pureblood' is an impolite term, but come to think of it, I never really knew why."

"It's considered wasteful and pointless, since nothing new is gained. I wonder sometimes what happened between them. I wouldn't have pegged my mother as someone who would take another asari as a bondmate."

"I could say something similar for mine. But then again, my mother was a romantic, sometimes she preferred an illusion to the truth. 'The heart goes where the heart goes', she used to say. If only hers hadn't gone to him."

"Was he the one that made you do...those things?"

Shepard went very still. For a moment, Liara was sure she'd stopped breathing. "What things?"

Liara kept her eyes on the console in front of her, her fingers resting on the keys, though she wasn't seeing it. She'd debated back and forth endlessly about telling Shepard what she had seen in her head. On one hand, she didn't want to anger her, but on the other, keeping it to herself made her feel deceitful.

Secrets and lies seemed to be the currency of Saren and his Reapers.

"I saw things when I was helping you put your visions together. I didn't mean to, Shepard, I swear by the goddess. Just flashes of...violence...manipulating people...and the joy you got out of it."

"Oh, my God..." Shepard sounded horrified. Liara looked up at her, startled. Shepard was shaking her head, her eyes wide. "I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have asked you to do it the second time around if I'd known..."

"You needed it, Shepard," Liara said fiercely, meeting her eyes. "The first time might have been a mistake but the second...I couldn't let you suffer."

They stared at each other for a few humming seconds, tension suddenly vibrating in the air between them. Seeing the surprise...and the beginnings of understanding...in Shepard's eyes, Liara looked away, sitting down again. "I..I apologize, Shepard. I've told you I'm not used to people. Especially humans."

"Liara..."

It was like someone had pulled a plug in her and she couldn't stop herself from speaking, her words coming faster. "I didn't even know all that much about humans before I came here. I always...well, I always found it hard to take humanity seriously. Your kind always seemed so rushed and high strung. Creatures of action. You pursue your goals with an almost indomitable determination. It's an admirable trait...but also an intimidating one. And the rest of the galaxy sees you as a bully...running over anyone in your path to get what you want."

"I wish I could say that wasn't fair," Shepard shifted, moving closer to her. Liara had felt a physical reaction to Shepard's presence several times since she had met her but this was the first time it affected her so strongly. It made her breath catch in her throat, a thrill that was both excitement and a hint of fear going through her.

"You're different. The Council saw something different in you. Even Garrus said it when..." She didn't want to think about the attacks on Cerberus and the way the heat of Garrus's anger had clashed with the ice cold of Shepard's. She still wasn't sure what to think of that part of it and her emotions were already in turmoil as it was. "Even he saw something in you that isn't in anyone else. And yet the things you've done..."

"Liara..."

She realized she was babbling. "I wanted to see what makes you the woman you are...I don't know how to reconcile that with what you used to be."

"I know." There was so much sadness in Shepard's voice.

"And I don't know how to...seeing some of those things in your head weren't terrible, Shepard. They were fascinating. And how fascinating they were to me scares me, because I didn't know that about myself. There's something so compelling about you, Shepard, I just...I just don't know what it is that is drawing me to you. Or if it's a combination of things. I don't know what I'm feeling."

Long fingers curled beneath her chin. Shepard gently made her look at her again. The commander was not what Liara would have thought of as beautiful, but, goddess, her eyes were. They peered into hers with a quiet intensity that made her think Shepard was looking straight past them into her mind and her soul. She had a sudden flashing memory of a cliff she'd come across when she was exploring some ruins once. She'd literally stumbled across it when she was following a river that wound its way through the ruins. It had ended quite abruptly, tumbling down a face of sheer, jagged rock and disappearing into a chasm below so deep the water seemed to just disappear, vanishing into a place unseen by living eyes. Standing there, staring down with the water thundering in her ears, she felt a crazy urge in the back of her mind to just jump and follow that path of falling water into the unknown even though her rational mind was babbling about how utterly and completely foolish that was. It had only lasted a moment but it had been there...just for an instant.

Liara was suddenly very aware of the spot where Shepard's fingers touched her skin. That breathless combination of fear and excitement intensified and she felt an almost overwhelming urge to close the distance between the two of them and press her lips to the commander's. And Shepard felt it too, she could see that in those eyes of hers, the flash of something dark and almost feral passing through them. It was like that moment on the cliff, only more intense. If she jumped, she wouldn't disappear as much as she would be taken...consumed...she was sure of it.

It was a moment that seemed to hang suspended between them and neither would forget for the rest of her life. Shepard started to move back...and Liara let her, overwhelmed and shaken to the bone, too afraid of where that jump might take her and what it might change in her.

"You're a woman of great compassion and intelligence...who just lost her mother in a horrific way. You don't know how to feel because your emotions are a mess, sugar. And rightfully so." She laid a hand on her shoulder, her voice firm. "We all have a bit of that dark kind of curiosity in us, Liara. It runs darker in some of us, but I don't think you have to worry about that in you." Shepard's voice was that more familiar blend of wistfulness and cynicism now, rather than sorrow. Like she wished things were better but she wasn't holding her breath.

"Commander, I'm sor-"

"Liara." Shepard's voice was gentle, almost a caress. "Liara, have you ever melded before? With anyone?"

She felt her face heat. Of course, Shepard would know about that aspect of the asari. She'd heard rumors...it shouldn't have surprised her Shepard knew the kind of melding she'd done to help her with the Prothean visions was merely a prelude to the kind of melding they could do to a partner. "No...I've never...I mean, I've never had the chance."

"And I shouldn't be your first."

No. She knew that. But she hadn't had the heart to say it aloud, not when Shepard spoke of herself in that tone.

"I'm fucked up, Liara." Shepard stated it, simple and matter-of-fact. "I can guarantee what you saw were only tidbits. I've hurt people. Twisted them. Manipulated them. Killed them. And I enjoyed it. I still do, to some extent. It's something he planted inside me after Mindoir, and I'll never forgive him for it. But it's there and I can't make it go away. I just...try to control it."

Liara wondered if she realized she had, unconsciously, admitted to her father twisting her somehow. After Mindoir..had he taken a broken child and twisted her instead of helping her heal? "What kind of a monster would do that to you?"

Shepard glanced away, that hint of fear in her there again for a moment- she was truly afraid of him -then gone and under control. "He is a monster."

"But you aren't." Liara reached out and gripped her arm. "You're not, Shepard."

The commander gave her a half smile. "I try not to be."

Considering Liara had backed away from her, she wasn't sure anything she said would convince Shepard otherwise. Confused and distressed, she let her arm drop.

Shepard pushed away from the desk and pulled her out of the chair. Before Liara realized what was happening, the commander wrapped her arms around her, hugging her. It should have sent her emotions into more turmoil, but somehow it didn't. She let her arms close around Shepard in return for a long moment, comforted, almost clinging to her as something solid in the galaxy that was roiling around her. One survivor clinging to another. "It'll be all right, Liara. You have nothing...nothing...to be ashamed of. Or sorry for. Everything good in your mother lives on in you, give yourself time and you'll know that." She released her and stepped back, a hint of humor in her eyes now. "You ought to rest...and come drinking with us on the Citadel when we dock. Ashley wants to teach Tali how to do a shot properly. If anything that'll be a sight to see."

Liara found herself smiling at the thought. "I'm not much of a drinker..."

"You ought to get falling down drunk at least once, if only so you know why to never, ever do it again." Shepard gave her a rueful smile. "And who knows, maybe someday when you reach your Matron stage, I won't be too old for your tastes."

"You know, Commander, even at the end of your life, I can't imagine you'll ever be really old," Liara said with absolute honesty. She couldn't imagine Shepard without that arrogant I-can-take-anything-you-throw-at-me edge to her. Didn't want to.

"Well, there's a comforting thought." Shepard squeezed her shoulder gently and walked out of the lab.

Liara sat back down at her desk. She ought to rest for a bit, she wouldn't get much work done when she was exhausted. But she felt better, she realized with a start.

You've always made me proud, Liara.

Little wing...

She closed her eyes, letting memories of her mother as she had been when she was growing up...that beautiful, powerful woman who was a stern parent. And who had loved her. She'd never doubted that. That beautiful, powerful woman who had fought to the last to maintain who she was at the core of her, and had succeeded.

And underneath that was a peace with herself she hadn't felt since she'd first touched Shepard's mind. She glanced at the door to the lab for a moment before turning back to save the data she had been working on.

Maybe someday.

AN: Holy exposition, Batman!

I want to take a moment to thank everyone who reads, reviews and watches! I'll have more Citadel hijinks coming up, and then onto Virmire. With the third game out, I think it's high time I got the first story into the home stretch, eh?