Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The original characters, content and ideas of this story are mine.

Chapter 7

Searching For Happiness

BPOV

"Edward I can't thank you enough for being here for me and I can't wait to move to New York and make a new start."

"I look forward to helping you make that new start."

"Call me when you land and let me know you made it safely, please."

"Will do"

Edward hugged and kissed Alice on her cheek and then hugged and kissed me on the forehead sending shivers through me and then he walked away. I wanted to run after him and tell him I needed him to stay here with me. Just his presence for the last few days has helped me cope with my parent's death and I wish I was boarding that plane with him.

"Are you ready sweetie?" Alice said smiling

"Yes, I'm ready." I wonder if Alice caught the double meaning behind my words.

The car ride back was filled with conversation about wedding plans and I smiled at my friend's excitement. I really was happy for her and her engagement to Jasper made me want a family of my own. It also saddens me because it reminded me that my family was gone. Once we were back at the Cullen's I headed to my room to have some alone time. It tried watching TV, but instead it watched me so I quickly cut it off and then I tried reading for a little while, but I just found myself staring at the pages. And then finally it happen the flood gates opened and I cried like I've never cried before. I buried my face into my pillow and let it all out in heavy sobs and screams. If any of the Cullens heard me they were gracious enough to leave me to it. I don't know how long I cried for, but it was long enough to put myself to sleep. My cell phone rang out sounding much louder than it probably was and I searched my purse for the light so I could answer it, but by the time I found it the ringing had stopped and I saw I had a missed call from Jacob. I quickly dialed his number back and he answered on the first ring.

"Hey Bells, were you sleeping?"

"Yeah, but I'm up now how are you?"

"I should be asking you that question."

"I'm good Jacob honestly I am. I just have a lot of things I need to wrap up before I move."

"Oh did you find an apartment in Forks or Port Angeles?"

"Neither"

"Seattle? That's kind of far, but I guess I can visit you there."

"No Jacob…I…I'm moving to New York.

Jacob was silent and I thought he had hung up.

"Hello?"

"I'm still here I just can't believe what I'm hearing. Why would you be moving to New York Bells?"

"Edward and I were talking when I…."

"Edward? As in Edward Cullen that I just met yesterday? When the hell did you and him become so close?"

"Jacob!"

"I'm sorry Bells I just think that's a little drastic when you spent all of what five days is New York and because he was nice to you, you're going to uproot twenty four years of your life and just move half way across America away from everyone who loves you?"

"I just need a new start Jacob that's all."

"A new start or an escape from reality? Moving to New York is not going to bring them back Bells!"

"I know that Jacob and this move is not about my parents, it's about me getting out of this small town and following my dreams for once. It's about not being scared to get out there on my own."

"So you think moving to a big city like New York where you know no one is the answer?"

"I don't know Jacob, but I'll never know if I don't try! Why can't you just be happy for me and offer your support instead of criticism? The Cullens have been nothing but supportive of my decision."

"Of course they have Bells they're looking out for Edward and his interest and I'm sure he just can't wait to show you all around New York."

"Jacob it's not like that, Edward has a girlfriend and has no interest in me other than friendship. In fact he and his girlfriend Tanya took Emmett and me out to dinner while we were there and she was very nice."

"What are you blind Bells? Do you not see the way he looks at you or how he followed you everywhere you went when we were at the funeral home like he was guarding you or something? Bells he didn't even want you coming back to La'Push with us to visit. I could see the disapproval all over his face when you told him you were coming!"

"Okay, Jacob you are looking way too much into this. Edward was just trying to make sure I was okay because he knows I'm going through a rough time right now. And for your information the Cullens have always been protective over me it's just in their nature and Edward is no different. It's how they were raised Jacob!

Jacob was silent for what seemed like hours, but was actually just a couple of minutes.

"Bells I just don't want you making a hasty decision and turning around and regretting it. Just at least promise me you will think about it some more."

I could hear the pleading in Jacob's voice and it broke my heart. Jacob was my oldest and best friend and I knew he only wanted what was best for me. I think now that my parents are gone he fills partially responsible for me.

"I will Jacob I promise, now can we please change the subject?"

"Yes, what are you doing tomorrow afternoon?"

"Nothing that I know of, why what's up?"

"How about lunch since tomorrow is my last day here and would you mind driving me to the airport afterwards?"

"Lunch would be great and yes I can take you to the airport."

"Great, so I'll see you tomorrow around 1pm?"

"Yes good deal, goodnight Jacob."

"Goodnight Bells"

After hanging up with Jacob I sat up and made a list of the pros and cons of moving to New York so that I could be absolutely sure this was the right move for me and then finally I fell back to sleep.

The next morning there was a soft knock on my door and then Esme peeked her head in.

"Bella sweetie, are you up?"

"Good morning Esme" I said sitting up in my bed.

"We are leaving for church soon and I wanted to see if you felt up to coming with us. Also I fixed breakfast and I put you a plate in the microwave."

"Yes I would love to go to church with you guys I'll be dressed in 30 minutes is that ok?"

"Sure sweetie we will wait for you down stairs."

After getting dressed and eating a quick breakfast I headed out to church with the Cullens. After church I came home and changed my clothes so that I could meet Jacob for lunch. After lunch Jacob and I went to see The Avengers movie in 3D at the IMAX Theater which was just what I needed to relax. I drove Jacob to the airport where we said our goodbyes.

"So you'll think really hard about not moving to New York right?"

"Nooo, I will think really hard about whether moving to New York is the best move for me."

"I guess I can live with that" he said giving me his award winning smile. He hugged me tightly and then walked away.

Once I was back at the Cullen's house I joined Alice in the living room to watch a movie and just relax.

"Popcorn?" Alice asked

"No thank you I ate plenty at the movies with Jacob."

"Oh… you guys went to the movies?"

"Yes it was very nice we went to lunch and then to see The Avengers which by the way is an awesome movie."

"I'll have to see if mom and dad want to go see it" Alice said and then she was quiet.

"Edward called for you while you were out. He says he apologizes for not calling when he landed last night, but to let you know he made it safely."

Just the mention of his name made me miss him all over again and left me wishing he was here. I hate that I had missed his phone call while out with Jacob and wanted to know if he was going to call back or if he wanted me to call him back, but I did not want to ask Alice and risk making her suspicious of my attraction to her brother. And then as if reading my mind she spoke.

"I told him you were out with Jacob and he asked for me to have you call him when you returned."

I wanted to jump off the couch and run upstairs to call Edward back, but I could not let Alice know how excited I was, so instead I sat there like it was no big deal.

"Oh, ok I'll give him a call back before I go to bed." I said while faking a yawn.

"Sounds like that will be any moment now." She said giving me a knowing look. Just then Esme walked in and sat down on the couch with us.

"What are you girls watching?"

"The Vow" Alice and I said in unison

"Is this the movie where they get into a car accident and she forgets that she is married?"

"Yes, this is the one." I said smiling

"You know this movie is based on a true story and the real life couple is still happily married with two kids until this day." Esme said smiling

"Really? I didn't know that, but it makes this movie even more interesting. I mean he loved her so much and he just refused to give up on her." I said thinking about how amazing it must be to be loved like that.

"Well when you marry your soul mate it is pretty amazing and every year feels more and more magical." Carlisle said as he walked in the living room looking at Esme and she smiled at him warmly. Jasper walked in shortly afterwards and sat on the edge of the couch by Alice while Esme joined Carlisle on their love seat and that was my queue to leave.

"Guys I'm going to head upstairs to do some reading."

"Don't forget to call Edward back." Alice said with a smirk

"I won't I said as I climbed the stairs." Yeah right as if I could forget that.

Once back in my room I quickly pulled out my cell and that's when I saw I had a missed call from Edward so I quickly pressed the send key to call him back and as the phone rang my stomach did flips. Unfortunately after four rings his voicemail picked up.

"Hey Edward it's me Bella, Alice said you called while I was out so I'm calling you back. When you get a chance give me a call, bye." I hung up a little sad that I could not talk to him. I then grabbed my book and started reading.

EPOV

Once Tanya and I were back at my apartment I quickly showered so I could head to bed, but judging by the black laced Victoria Secret's lingerie she was wearing while lying across my bed, Tanya had something else in mind. The really weird thing is any other time I would have attacked her like I was a wild animal and she was my prey, but instead of imagining all the things I could do to her Bella's face kept flashing through my mind and this confused me to no end.

"Baby I really did miss you, but I am exhausted can we wait until the morning?"

Tanya squint her eyes at me and her mouth hung open in disbelief.

"The morning Edward? What are we scheduling our love life now?"

"Of course not Tanya it's just… between the funeral yesterday and the long flight home I'm wiped out."

"This is total B.S. Edward and you know it, but fine have it your way I'm out of here!"

"Tanya, please don't leave it's late and you shouldn't be outside by yourself. Please let's just get some rest and we can talk about this in the morning."

"Ok wait, you don't want me to leave not because you want me stay, but because I should not be outside by myself this late? Are you in insane Edward? In case you haven't notice I am a grown ass woman and I thought I was dating a grown ass man."

"You're right Tanya I am a grown ass man and I'm tired of tip toeing around what I really want. I am almost twenty eight years old and unlike you I'm not impressed with big names, expensive restaurants, fancy cars and five star hotels! There is more to life than spending money and having someone wait on you hand and foot! Look Tanya… I know you did not grow up with your parents and being an only child means you did not have the privilege of sibling bonding, but that doesn't mean you can't make a family of your own. I want the big house with the huge backyard with a pool, a dog that jumps on me when I come home. I want a wife that I can come home to every night and children I can read stories to, kiss goodnight and tuck into bed and so much more than that."

"Edward when we started dating I was very clear that my career came first and that I would let you know when I was ready to start a family."

"What about marriage Tanya? I can understand waiting to start a family, but where is this relationship going? I don't feel like we're growing as a couple at all. Have you even thought about us moving in together? I mentioned that to you over six months ago and you find a reason not to discuss it whenever I bring it up."

"Because I don't see why it would be necessary for us to live together right now! I like my apartment and my space Edward. Why are you getting so emotional on me all of the sudden?"

"Because… because if I haven't learned anything else this past week I've learned the value of family and I had lost perspective of that. Just as easy as someone is given to you they can be taken away and you just can't take those who love and care for you the most for granted, life is just too short."

"This is about Bella isn't it?"

"Wha… what are you talking about? No this is not about Bella! This is about the appreciation of life and all of the wonderful things that it has to offer Tanya! And I guarantee you this, you can hang out at all the popular clubs that New York has to offer, eat in fancy restaurants, stay at the best hotels, drive luxury cars and shop at all the high end stores, but none of that will fill the void of not having people who really love you in your life!"

"Look Edward I can understand you wanting to get married and start a family, but I've worked too hard to get where I am to put my career on hold to fulfill your dream. "

"But who says you have to put your career on hold? There are plenty of people in the same industry as you that have spouses and children Tanya. I'm not asking you to give up anything just compromise a little, please."

It was silent for what seemed like hours, but after a few moments Tanya spoke in a very low voice.

"I…I can't…I'm sorry Edward that's just not a dream or a desire of mine right now and I can't pretend it is."

Her words were a blow to my heart because I really did care for Tanya and I was prepared to go the extra mile to make this relationship work.

"What are you saying Tanya?"

"I'm saying we all have choices to make… and…I choose my career."

I sat down on my bed stunned by her words as the realization that Tanya was breaking up with me hit me and I felt like a failure that I could not make this relationship work. As I watched Tanya put back on her clothes and gather her belongings I felt like I couldn't breathe. For the past two years Tanya had been a significant part of my life and in a matter of minutes it was all ending. Once she was dressed she came and stood right in front of me forcing me to look up at her.

"Edward I could not have asked for a better boyfriend you are an awesome guy and this is not an easy decision for me."

"It seems like it is."

"No it's not and I may be young, but I am old enough to know everything good to you is not always good for you and what's good for you is not always good to you, I'm sorry Edward."

I stood up and pulled her into an embrace

"Yeah, me too; let me at least drive you home."

"I think I can live with that"

The ride to Tanya's house was quiet for the most part and for the first time in 2 years a little awkward. I pulled up in front of her building and got out to open her door, but she was out of the car before I even reached her side which was a first. When I attempted to walk her in as I always did she stopped me.

"Thanks for the ride home, but I don't think it's necessary to walk me upstairs this time besides it's late and I know you're tired so you should take off."

We embraced tightly one last time before slowly pulling away from one another and as we stared at each other I placed a very soft chaste kiss on her lips and she smiled.

"Goodbye Tanya, take care of yourself and if you ever need anything you know you can call me right?"

"Yes I know and the same goes for you, goodbye Edward." She placed a kiss on my cheek and walked away. It was a bittersweet feeling. Bitter, because I kind of felt like she didn't try and after two years didn't our relationship mean at least that much to her? Sweet, because I no longer had to bite my tongue in this relationship just to keep her happy. I made a promise to myself that night that the next relationship I get into I will make sure it's with someone who shares the same interest and wants the same thing as me marriage, kids and lots of them.

I woke up the next morning feeling like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I would miss Tanya, but for the first time in a long time I felt free. I went to the workout room in my building and exercised for an hour and then headed back upstairs for breakfast. After eating I went online and paid a few bills and did a little shopping. After showering and shaving I realized it was only 10am and I did not start my shift at the hospital until 3pm, so I took the time to look for apartments for Bella and after about an hour and a half of looking in all the surrounding areas I finally stumbled upon the perfect two bedroom apartment right here in Manhattan. The description was very similar to my own apartment except I have three bedrooms and the monthly rent was within the price range Bella had given me. The only problem was there was no address listed only the management company's contact information which happens to be the same management company for my building. It was now almost noon and I decided to get dress and head to the hospital early so that I could review my patient's charts before my shift started.

While sitting in my office looking at charts there was a knock at my door.

"Come in."

"Good afternoon Dr. Cullen and welcome back. How was your vacation?"

Jessica Stanley one of the receptionists at the front desk of the Pediatrics ICU stood in my office giving me what I am sure she thought was a seductive look.

"Very nice, I spent it with my family, thanks for asking."

"Well if you need something, anything I'll be right outside at my desk."

"Oookay, thanks"

I offered her a friendly smile hoping she would not take it the wrong way, because I felt absolutely no attraction to this woman. Jessica and one other receptionist in this department, Lauren, were in their early twenties, but both looked to be at least thirty five because of their lifestyle. They were both single with no children, consumed way too much alcohol, and partied at clubs all the time in search of well to do men to take care of them. Most of my encounters with either one of them were filled with ventose conversations and the two of them trying to outdo one another for my attention. Neither of them would know the meaning of true friendship if it slapped them upside their heads.

After reviewing my patient's charts and making my rounds I headed to the cafeteria for dinner and to give Bella a call to let her know about the apartment. I called her cell first and got her voice mail and then I called my sister Alice.

"Hello brother how are you?"

"I'm good what are you doing?"

"Giving myself a mani and pedi before Jasper comes over."

"Sounds like fun, is mom and dad home?"

"Mom is on the deck in the backyard and dad is in his office upstairs. Would you like to speak to one of them?"

"No… no I was… just asking. So it's just you guys there?

"Edward, if you want to know if Bella is here, why not just ask?"

Alice could be so annoying sometimes, but I truly loved her wit.

"Is Bella there Alice?"

"No, she went to meet Jacob for lunch and then she's driving him to the airport."

For the love of all that's Holy, what will it take to get rid of this Jacob?

"Oh… okay well I was just trying to reach her about an apartment I found here in Manhattan that may be a good fit for her, so just tell her to call me when she gets in."

"Will do, how's Tanya?"

"We broke up"

"Really? When did that happen, didn't she pick you up from the airport?"

"Yup, sure did and then she dump me not even thirty minutes of us getting back to my apartment."

"Oh wow Edward are you okay?"

"You know what Alice surprisingly I'm more than okay. I mean the only reason we lasted this long was because I fooled myself into thinking I was okay being with someone who had no interest in marriage or family. We're just at two totally different places in our lives and I want more."

"Well good for you Edward because you should not have to settle. You're a beautiful person inside and outside and any woman would be lucky to have you look their way let alone fall in love with them."

"Thanks Alice and please have Bella call when she gets back."

"Okay"

After eating I headed back to my office to finish my paperwork from my rounds earlier and just as I was getting off the elevator I was paged to the ER. I quickly made my way down and was directed to a room with a seven year old boy with what appeared to be a broken left arm. He had fallen off his skateboard and tried to break the fall with his hand and his wrist was very swollen. The distress and agony that was apparent on his tear streaked face was heartbreaking so I immediately got to work first ordering for an IV to be started so that pain medicine could be administered while I called down to radiology to order an immediate X-Ray.

"Hey there little guy you don't look so happy, but I'm going to fix that for you, ok. Can you tell me your name?"

"Alex… Falcon" he said with clear strain in his voice

"Wow what a cool name, hang in there Alex ok."

He nodded his head as best he could clearly trying to be brave.

I turned to mom and dad to get some information before administering any meds.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Falcon I'm Dr. Cullen. Is Alex being treated for any current medical conditions or currently taking any prescribed medicines?"

"No current medical conditions or prescribed medicines" answered his mom who looked just as scared as Alex did.

"What about allergies to any medications any you know of?"

"No…no allergies either, that we know of"

"Okay, I'm going to have a nurse administer morphine through his IV to minimize his pain until we can get X-Rays of his arm to see what we are dealing with and at that time I will be able to see if surgery is necessary or if we just need to set his arm and cast it."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen" his father said reaching out to shake my hand while holding his wife around her shoulder with his other arm and again I was reminded of how much I want a family of my own.

"Your very welcome, I'll be back to check on him in a little while."

I exited the room and approached the nurse's station to write up the orders for pain meds, blood work, urine, and X-Rays for Alex.

"Hello Edward how are you today?"

I turned around to see Lauren Mallory standing behind me.

"Hello Ms. Mallory" I said while turning back around to finish writing my orders. I then asked the nurse to page me when the X-Rays and lab work for Alex came back. I started walking to the elevators to go back up to my office. The clacking of heels against the tiled floor alerted me that I was being followed.

"Sooo… I heard you were on vacation."

"Mm hm"

"Did you have fun?"

"I went to visit my family."

I looked up at her wondering why this conversation was even taking place and praying that the elevator came soon. It did not go unnoticed that her blouse looked a size or two too small and she had so much cleavage showing that absolutely nothing could be left to the imagination. My eyes widened in shock that a woman would come to her place of employment dressed this way and from the smile on her face she mistook my facial expression as one of interest.

"See something you like, Edward?"

As I turned to face her so that I could tell her exactly what I thought of how she looked the elevator doors opened and there were other employees exiting including James a third year resident like myself, who looked at women as strictly sex objects. James has unsuccessfully tried to hit on everyone I've dated since medical school, but the one he was always truly after was Tanya. He knew her first, but she would never give him the time of day. So when I started dating her after only two weeks of meeting her he was furious and that has been a sore spot with him ever since. When he stepped off the elevator his eyes immediately landed on Lauren's chest and then over to me.

I shook my head and stepped onto the elevator thankful that James now had Lauren's attention

"Not speaking today Dr. Cullen?" he said with a little bit of sarcasm.

"James" I simply said as the elevator doors closed. I blew out a sigh of relief and chuckled to myself at what characters those two are.

Once back in my office I saw that I had a missed call from Bella on my cell phone and I immediately called her back praying that she picked up.

"Hello"

"Hey Bella how are you?" I said as I blew out a sign of relief.

"Good and how are you?"

"Better now" Oh God did I really just say that?

Bella was silent and I wondered if I had offended her

"I mean now that I am finally getting a chance to sit down." I said trying to recover quickly "It's been a busy day here at the hospital."

"Oh I see, well hopefully it's almost over" she replied

It was quiet again and I searched my mind for something to say, oh yeah right the apartment.

"Anyway" I said and then cleared my throat "I think I may have found an apartment you may be interested in. I have the number to the management company and I can give them a call tomorrow and get more info for you tomorrow."

"Could you? That would be great Edward because I am really looking forward to moving as soon as possible."

"Really? I hoped she could not hear the excitement in my voice as I got up and started pacing the floor in my office I mentally did a fist pump. "No problem I'll give them a call tomorrow and if you want I'll swing by and take a look for you." I said now smiling ear to ear.

"Sounds good, hey I've got an idea if you don't mind. I graduate on Thursday and maybe I can fly to New York next weekend to see the apartment if you could arrange a viewing for me."

My smile grew impossibly wider and then while attempting to sit back down I misjudged the position of my chair causing me to fall to the floor hitting my left eye on the arm of the chair and slamming my wrist on my desk sending my cell phone flying across the floor. Just then my office door opened and as I got to my knees a nurse from the ER came in holding my patient's test results. She looked at the floor where my cell phone had landed which was right where she stood and then she looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows as I held my left eye.

"Dr. Cullen? She said looking confused "I have those… test result…I'll just leave them on your desk." She said picking up my cell phone and placing it on top of my desk with the test results. I could feel my entire face burning from embarrassment as I pulled myself up into my chair and grabbed my cell while still holding my eye.

"Thank you Connie I'll be right down to the ER."

"Alrighty" she said trying to hide her laughter and turning on her heels.

"Hello?… Edward are you still there" oh crap Bella I scrambled to put the phone back to my ear

"Hey Bella sorry someone came into my office." I said leaving out the fact that I almost ended my medical career.

"What was all that bumping is everything okay?"

"Yeah, um …I just have a patient I need to attend to immediately; can I call you back later tonight?"

"That's fine I'll talk to you later"

"Okay, bye" I quickly hung up and went into my cabinet to get an ice pack for my eye and after five minutes of self treatment I headed back to the ER to set and cast my patient's arm.

I arrived back home at about 11:30 that night exhausted and with a slight headache. I took some ibuprofen and a shower before falling into my bed like it was a beautiful woman. My cell phone vibrated with a message from Bella which brought a huge grin to my face.

"Hey Edward I hope I am not disturbing u but I was online booking my plane ticket 4 next weekend and I was wondering if u could give me an idea of the hotels in your area so I can book that too. Let me know B."

"No ur not bothering me at all and I'll tell u what, why don't u let me take care of ur travel arrangements 4 next weekend, E."

"I can' let u pay for that; ur already using ur free time 2 help me find and apartment. I just don't want 2 book a hotel that is far away from where u r, B."

"If it makes u feel better u can reimburse me when u get here it would just be easier 4 me 2 do it 4 u since I do live here E."

"I guess that is fair as long as u promise that this time I'll get to treat u and Tanya 2 dinner instead of the other way around" B.

Until that very moment Tanya had not even crossed my mind. Should I tell her that we are no longer together? I decided against saying something that night eventually she would find out.

"That's fine, I'll call u after I have made all the arrangements tomorrow, good night and sweet dreams." E.

"Okay, goodnight." B.

I lay in my bed feeling like a teenager and grinning from ear to ear from the excitement of knowing I would see Bella next weekend. She was graduating on Thursday and I wish I could be there to show her how proud I am of her, but I was scheduled to work at the hospital on that day. Maybe I could send her flowers or have Alice give them to her for me, but would that be too intimate of a gesture? Maybe balloons? No Edward she's not graduating from eighth grade. Maybe just a nice card, I'll have to call Alice tomorrow and get her advice on a present after I make Bella's travel arrangements tomorrow. I closed my eyes hoping to dream about the brunette with the beautiful brown eyes that I just couldn't seem to stop thinking about.

A/N: so here is chapter 7 hope you guys enjoy. I am getting a lot of email alerts for those who have signed up for story update alerts for this story and I thank you all very much. Please, please take the time to review I have a lot of people following the story but do not leave reviews and I would like to hear feedback from my readers! I will try to get chapter 8 up by this weekend. Thank you again you guys are awesome!