School has been kicking my butt. If I won the lotto right this minute I would drop out so quick.

But I wanted to take time off of school work and update since I loved the amount of alerts I got last time. Please review !

P.S I am my own beta, so sorry for any mistakes. but if you see one tell me in a review !

He's moaning, and grunting. "Bella…..god…Jesus Christ."

Sometimes I imagine I'm not even there. Just to make everything go by quicker. I can't take it. I can't face reality, because even if we are married he's rapping me.

"God, baby I'm so close…fuck..fuck."

Please hurry. Please, please, please hurry. When he's on top of me like this, I just know I have a role to play. I remember the last time that I didn't play it. The role of someone who actually likes what he's doing to me. I don't fight back I remember the last time I thought it was okay for me to do so. He beat me so bad afterwards. Now I just lay there and take it. It's almost time.

"Yes, Jake….right there…please"

Can't he tell I'm not enjoying this. That I'm not even in the same room as him as this is happening. No, because everything has become about him. My happy place is where me and the blonde haired man from the supermarket comes in and sweeps me off my feet and doesn't hit me at all. He loves me for who I am, and cherishes me. But it's all in my head and plays out when my husband is on top of me. Does that make it wrong ? Does that make me wrong ? God when is he going to be done ?

"You feel amazing. God baby you feel so good. I'm cumming….fuck..I'm cumming."

I do a little moan just for the added effect. I haven't felt nothing this whole time. Please just get off of me I pray in head. It's almost as if he read my mind, a talent that rarely comes out and he gets off of me. He rolls over to lay down. I move to get up off the bed and head to the shower. I hear movement behind me, on the bed. Please, go to sleep half of the time he does and I'm hoping its one of those times. It is, because I hear snoring soon after. I almost run to the shower, I want to rub every essence of his off of me.

He always uses a condom, doesn't want me to have a baby he says It'll ruin my body. But as I stare at the bathroom mirror and I take a look at myself I see a broken girl with lifeless hair, and these sad eyes. These sad, sad eyes.

But a glimmer of something passes through my eyes. Oh yeah , Jake and I had went to the super market yesterday. I have to tell you about this. So let's go to my happy place, something that didn't play out in my mind.

"Go in yourself and get everything that we need." My god, he was giving me a chance to go in by myself. That close to never happens. I almost jump out of the car, but I remember that I have a role to play, so I look at him and say nonchalantly "Okay" Like I don't have a care in the world. When really I'm jumping for joy on the inside.

I grad a shopping cart, because I know I can't carry the things in a basket. My side is still ugly and yellowish looking for when he kicked me the last time. With the cart I head into the store.

If there is a God, he was shedding his light unto me. Because not so far of a distant I see the man that holds a place in my heart. I discreetly move closer to him, he has his back facing to me. I play so when he turns I;m in his direct eyesight. No less than a minute later, he turns. He gives me a dimpled smile. I almost let Jesus take me.

"Hey !" He says. "I remember you."

And then my life is complete, he remembers me ? What am I suppose to say ?

"Oh….Hi." Well don't I sound stupid, my face turns red hot with embarrassment. A habit I never got over.

"How are you ?"

"I'm fine, and yourself ?" it's like I actually know how to speak up. I don't have any friends anymore so it's a shock to me that I'm actually replying without stuttering so hard.

"I'm hanging in there. I can't apologize enough about last time. It seemed like I bumped into you hard." Oh so he did notice that cringe I had almost immediately after the bump.

"Oh, no it's fine. Its fine, there's no reason to apologize." I can feel my feet moving towards him. What am I doing, what am I doing ? "I'm Bella"

Wait, why did I just say that ?

"I'm Jasper." The name seems to roll off his tongue, a name I can get used to.

But all good things must come to an end.

"Bella" That simple name I hear behind me and I almost piss in my pants. I know that voice from anywhere, I hear it everyday. I know I'm in for trouble, a harsh beating for when I get home

"What are you doing.?" He say's his tone still hard and laced with evil.

"N….no..nothing." I say. I'm making it seem like I did something the way my face turns red hot.

"Let's go. Now !" Jake whispers to me, and grabs my arm a little to roughly for public eyes. I'm so embarrassed, as my eyes meet Jasper's. "I'm sorry" I mouth to him. What am I sorry for ? I have no idea, because I know I'm in for it once I get homes.

Until Next time !