"So...let me guess: the Council still doesn't believe you," Joker said.
Shepard turned her head to look at him. His attempt at lightening up the tone didn't work but he hadn't really expected it to. "They believe Saren is enough of a threat they're willing to start negotiations for putting together a fleet. That'll have to be good enough."
They were both silent for a long moment, the only sound coming from the rumbling of the ship and the murmurs of the rest of the crew on the command deck. "I don't know if I could have done it," Joker blurted suddenly. "Making that call between Alenko and Williams. It must have been..." He shook his head.
"Yeah..."
"It helps that I'll be there when we make the son of a bitch pay!"
Shepard nodded, a hint of a smile on her lips. "And you'll help make him pay. Can even take a shot at him if there's any of him left after Wrex gets through with him."
"I won't hold my breath then," Joker snorted. He looked up at her. "What about the salarians, do they need to go anywhere in particular?"
Captain Kirrahe and a good portion of his men who hadn't been at the AA tower had survived. His assurance that Ash's actions would be honored was little consolation, but it was, as they both knew all too well, all he could offer. "The captain said to drop them off at the nearest planet and they'd make their way from there. Make sure it's a planet with enough ships to make it easy for them, yes? They lost men too."
"Aye, aye, Commander."
"You all right, Joker?"
He looked at her again, surprised. He started to say yes automatically, and then checked himself. "I wasn't close to Ashley, but...you know. I just need some time, I think."
She nodded, patting the back of his chair in lieu of his shoulder. "Let me know when we're in range of a planet for the salarians. I have to...I gotta tell her family."
Whenever she took the polish off her nails, as she had when they had left the Citadel to head to Virmire, it always left them looking a little pinkish and rough, no matter what the color. Shepard studied her nails idly, glad to have something to focus on besides the memory of the devastation in Amanda Williams' eyes. She'd put her uniform on before calling Ash's family but as she sprawled in one of the chairs in the comm room, she'd opened the jacket, feeling stifled.
The woman was too much of a soldier's wife to cry or carry on but she was guessing that she and three young women out there would not be sleeping well tonight, caught up in their private grief. The fact her daughter would be the first Williams since her grandfather to receive any high honor was probably no consolation at the moment, though she hoped it would be eventually.
The noise on the ship was subdued. Ash had been well liked by the crew and even for those who hadn't been close to her, it was a sobering thing to lose a shipmate. Kaidan wasn't as badly hurt as it had first seemed, but the guilt he was feeling wasn't going to heal as fast. Being willing to die for the cause didn't prepare you for having someone die for you...nothing did.
Shepard closed her eyes. She had already gone through the could-a should-a's over and over again. If she'd left a couple of the squad with Kaidan...if she'd sent some of them to get Ash while the rest took on the geth...if if if... In the end, it didn't matter. She had done what she'd had to do and Ash had paid the price for it.
Was it quick, Ash? Were you already dead by then? Or were you alive enough to see the Normandy taking off and leaving you behind?
She didn't open her eyes when the door opened, knowing from the tread who it was. She heard Garrus sit down in a chair across from her, but the turian didn't say anything. After a few moments, she realized he was simply keeping her company, offering some support, and she felt a rush of gratitude so strong it shook her a bit. "She knew," Shepard murmured without opening her eyes. "She was always a better soldier than me. She knew she wasn't coming down from that tower."
"She was a good soldier. We didn't get along," Garrus said quietly. "But she was a very good soldier. I could respect that."
"She died with bravery and honor."
"She did."
Shepard sighed and finally opened her eyes. "At least the fact he was breeding an army convinced the Council they need to take a bit more action. If they get to him first."
"You're going to kill him." Garrus said it rather than asked it, but he paused as if waiting for an answer.
"Yes."
"I was wondering if you would."
She looked at him. "Between him and Sovereign, I know all I need to. I don't know how he found Sovereign or why, but it doesn't matter. I know what Sovereign wants now...and that it's what Saren wants too even if he can't believe it yet."
"He really believes what he said," Garrus said, sounding troubled. "He honestly thinks he's doing what needs to be done. And after hearing that...thing...talk..." He shook his head. Garrus seemed particularly disturbed by the conversation with Sovereign.
"He is trapped inside his own mind." They both looked up as Liara came into the room. She laid a hand on Shepard's shoulder and squeezed gently before she sat down, which was also appreciated. "Part of him senses his identity slowly being swallowed up by Sovereign, but he is powerless to stop it. I admit, I do wonder how he first fell into Sovereign's trap."
"Denali said he was searching for an 'artifact' a few years back and Anderson said the man that information on it came from was acting strange...obsessed, according to the contact Anderson has. I'm willing to bet this artifact was Sovereign."
"Maybe he thought he could use it as a weapon," Garrus said.
"Whatever his reasons were, they're gone now," Shepard said quietly.
Liara nodded. "He may be Sovereign's victim, but he's also a threat to all life as we know it." She looked over at Shepard. "I was thinking...the beacon we found in Saren's base was similar to the one on Eden Prime. It may have filled in the missing pieces of your vision. I might be able to help you put the pieces together."
And help them figure out where the Mu Relay went. Shepard sat forward. "Are you sure, Liara?"
The asari nodded softly. "I can handle it now."
Garrus looked between them, confused by the subtext.
Shepard rose to her feet and Liara stood in front of her. She didn't touch her this time, simply closing her eyes for a moment. "Relax, Shepard..."
The commander nodded.
Liara opened eyes that had gone black and silver. "Embrace eternity..."
No response to messages of surrender.
...wires twisting through flesh...
Lost communication with other sectors.
...people frozen in poses of agony, crumbling to ash at the slightest touch...
They burn and kill and kill and kill.
...twisted mockeries of every species flowing like an abominable river through the cities...
Flee.
...killing or capturing any in their path...
Hide.
...the silhouetted planet against two suns...
Stasis.
...and the beast the beast exploded from the dark and came at them...
The only way.
...these...Reapers...
Shepard was leaning against something solid and it took her a moment realize it was Garrus holding her up. He said something sharply to Liara, but she wasn't really faring any better. She stepped back, leaning against one of the chairs. "I had no idea the images would be so...intense..." she managed to gasp.
"Twisting flesh back to its most primal form and twisting metal through it. Erasing nations and absorbing them. Burning...Christ, I don't even know what I'm saying..." Shepard swayed on her feet and Garrus helped her sit. "Liara, I can't make sense of any of it..." Her voice was almost pleading.
"It's a distress call, Shepard. A message sent across the Prothean Empire. A warning against the Reapers."
"It came too late..."
"Yes." Liara sat up, agitated. "There were other images. Locations, places I remembered from my research..." She closed her eyes for a moment. "Ilos..."
Shepard tried to rise and Garrus placed a firm hand on her shoulder, afraid she'd collapse if she tried to stand so fast. "What?"
"The Conduit is on Ilos! That is why Saren needed the Mu Relay, it's the only way to get there."
"Good, we have the coordinates to the relay, Joker's already got them..."
"Shepard, the Mu Relay is inside the Terminus Systems," Garrus said. "Alliance isn't welcome there. No one is...especially Spectres. You can't just charge in."
"Stealth system," Shepard reminded him. We're gonna get him, Ash, while Virmire is fresh on his mind and he and Sovereign will both know they're going down in the name of Ashley Williams. A mere human. Bastards. "It'll get us to the relay. The Conduit is where Saren is heading, that's where we're heading. We'll be there to meet the bastard and that motherfucking Reaper..."
"Shepard," Liara tried to reason with her. "Saren won't head there on his own. He still has an entire fleet of geth and he'll have them orbiting the planet."
"Stealth system," Shepard said again, but even the feverish need to get Saren and her need to avenge Ash couldn't trump her basic practicality. They were right.
"We'll never make it down to the surface without reinforcements. You must alert the Council. We need a fleet to..." She closed her eyes suddenly.
"Liara?" Shepard looked over at her with alarm.
"The joining," Liara murmured in explanation. "All those images and messages this time around...it's exhausting..."
"You need to head to the med bay," Shepard said firmly.
"Shepard..."
"You're both right. I'm going to contact the Council right away. Go rest, sugar, you may have just saved us all."
From where they were, they could have made it to the Mu Relay in very short time if they pushed it, so Shepard was not happy with Udina's order for them to return to the Citadel. Enough she briefly considered pretending she'd never gotten the order and going anyway. However, when Joker had sent them a mission update, the Council had revved up from merely considering putting a fleet together to actively putting a fleet together. She wasn't stupid enough to jeopardize anything, not when they were finally getting the help they needed.
She walked into the Council Chambers still in uniform with Kaidan at her side. The rest of the crew and squad were prepping everything for what was no doubt going to be a seriously tough battle, but Kaidan had requested permission to be there with her when she saw the Council and she saw no reason to refuse him. She thought perhaps he wanted to stand for Ash.
Udina was there on the petitioner's stage, but Anderson wasn't. That made her a bit uneasy for some reason. Her first critical mistake was coming into the meeting without being well informed the kind of political climate she was walking into. She hadn't paid attention to the vids since before Noveria.
The ambassador nodded as they came up beside him. "Good job, Shepard. Thanks to you, the Council is finally taking real action against Saren!" It was, Shepard thought, actually quite impressive how he managed to make the words complimentary and make the tone more along the lines of "At least you're good for something."
"The ambassador is correct," the asari councilor said. "If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel- as you believe -we will be ready for him."
It was the only thing that made sense. Liara was in agreement with her, and so was Anderson in the brief conversation she'd exchanged over the comm with him on the way there. No matter what Saren wanted the Conduit for, eventually he was going to help Sovereign attack. The Citadel was the center of the galaxy; destroying it would absolutely cripple them, therefore it would be one of their top priorities.
"Patrols are stationed at every mass relay linking Citadel Space to the Terminus Systems," the turian councilor added.
Shepard frowned. "A blockade isn't going to stop him from finding the Conduit," she pointed out. "He's on Ilos looking for it right now."
"Ilos is only accessible through the Mu Relay, deep inside the Terminus Systems, Commander. If we send a fleet in there, the only possible outcome is a full-scale war," the salarian councilor said.
Shepard thought that was thoroughly ridiculous. They'd used that argument earlier on and at the time, she'd agreed the risk wasn't worth stirring the people of the Terminus Systems. But that had been before they knew exactly what Saren was planning. Did they think everyone in the Terminus Systems was a gun happy psychopath? Well, okay, a lot of them were...but it was basically run by lawless businessmen and war was costly. "Unless you're planning on attacking supply ships going to Omega on the way, Councilor, then that's far from the only possible outcome. They won't like it, it'll stir the merc bands up, possibly enough you'll want to take prisoners and free them later if some of them decide to attack. But the bigger merc bands in charge aren't just going to up and go to war unless you attack them directly and no one...no one...in the Terminus Systems is going to war without Aria T'Loak's say so, Councilor. No one would dare. Omega would be as crucial to a war to them as the Citadel would be to us. And she isn't going to go to war without knowing why she was doing it, she's too good a businesswoman for that. I think she'd be willing to let a fleet pass if she knew stopping a rogue Spectre with a geth army was the goal of it. I mean, do you really think for a minute that Saren passing through with a geth army has gone unnoticed? Everyone there has to be wondering what the hell is going on."
Shepard became aware that the Council, Udina, and even Kaidan were staring at her in shock. She recalled a bit too late that her records showed she'd come out of the Terminus Systems herself years ago but very few people knew how much a part of its great, rusted chain of industry she'd been. Oh, well. "If it's that much of a worry, then contact her and let her in on the situation. Saren has been haunting the Terminus Systems on and off for years; she knows about him," she added, which was her second critical mistake. She realized it the moment she saw the asari councilor stiffen a bit. If they'd thought she was unhinged before, the mere suggestion of working with the outlaws of the Terminus Systems cemented the idea she was crazy.
Udina tried to smooth things over. "Now is the time for discretion, Commander. Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy. Exposed, he is no longer a threat. This is over."
What the hell? "With all due respect, Ambassador," And oh, she would have loved to see the look on Ashley's face if she heard that, "If Saren finds the Conduit, we're all screwed."
"Ambassador Udina, I get the sense Commander Shepard isn't willing to let this go," the turian councilor said. There was some kind of implication in his words, but Shepard couldn't guess to what it was.
Udina's face remained composed but his eyes burned into her. "There are serious political implications here, Shepard. Humanity's made great gains thanks to you. But now you're becoming more trouble than you're worth."
"You bastard!" Shepard glanced over her shoulder. Kaidan was staring at Udina, furious. "You're selling us out!"
Udina didn't spare him a look, keeping his gaze on the Council. "It's just politics, Commander. You've done your job, now let me do mine. We've locked out all the Normandy's primary systems. Until further notice, you're grounded."
"Ambassador..."
He turned his head toward her, his tone imperious. "I think it's time for your team to leave, Commander. This no longer concerns you. The Council can handle this. With my help, of course."
Shepard simply looked at him for a long moment, letting the sudden silence that followed his words echo throughout the chamber. She took one slow, careful step back away from him. Her face, which had been blank, changed. She simply looked tired and sad. Those gray eyes swept each person in the room briefly before she turned away. "I hope you enjoy that delusion while it lasts...which won't be long."
She motioned to Kaidan silently when he seemed about to protest. If Shepard's words had any impact, not a one of them showed it. None of them would ever realize how much of a reflection they were of Saren at that moment. They were so certain they were right, Kaidan thought bitterly. They would never listen because they knew, absolutely, that they had things under control...and damned them all because of it.