hey sorry just a quick one...I didn't want to leave you all hanging :0) Hope you enjoy. thank you for your continued support, Cleo xx PS Happy birthday Lucy Dixon x
The sun had fully come up and the car-park had come alive with cars arriving or departing; Jen had remained in her Jeep unmoved. The fight that had happened hours before plagued her mind. She desperately wanted to run back into the B&B and beg forgiveness and hold Tilly in her arms; yet her mind and heart were in direct conflict with each other.
Logic told her the relationship was nothing but a fantasy, that it did not have a place in the 'real' world; they were a cosmic accident and did not belong together. Yet knowing all this, all she could really be certain of, is how much she missed Tilly at this moment. She did not want to be in a relationship with her but she could not be without her. Her head and her heart would have to agree to disagree for the moment because Jen was unable to comprehend the situation.
Tilly had entered a state of numbed auto-drive in conclusion to the events that had happened; she had showered, packed and made her way out of the small hotel. She was not really sure of her plan; she had no money or transport. She contemplated phoning Maddie, she had refrained from doing so, afraid of exposing Jen; She was not sure why she was still protecting the teacher.
On entering the car-park she spots the Jeep, she can just make out the silhouette of Jen sitting in the driver seat her head hanging down. Her heart jolted in a sharp intake of breath as the sight of the brunette penetrates her numbness. She wants to run, in both directions, towards her lover and also away from her mixed messages.
She stares at the car, in two minds, for maybe ten minutes. She finally decides to walk away, when the passenger door of the vehicle swings open. Walking over Tilly climbs into the seat and closes the door gently, neither of them speak; The teen looks at the silent brunette, who stars at her own fidgeting hands placed in her lap.
"I'm sorry." Tilly says making the first move. "for what I said to you." she continues not receiving a response from Jen "It's just after the night we shared...you sneaking out...leaving me in a hotel room alone...made me feel...well...used." she adds struggling for words.
Jen looks up at the teen and shakes her head, sadness across her face. She had been so busy struggling with her own feelings she had not stopped to think about how this would appear to the teenager. She knew this had been Tilly's first time spending a night with someone; the brunette is devastated by the thought. The red-head believed Jen had taken her innocence then run; discarding her, like a male university students notch on a bed post.
"No. Tilly. I'm so sorry." she grabs the teens hand and squeezes in affectionately "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. last night was incredible." she adds. Tilly finally looks up and stares with sad eyes at the teacher. "I left because it was so perfect, I was scared." Jen continues.
She reaches across lightly stroking the side of Tilly's face with her finger tips, trying to caress away the pain of the earlier slap "I'm so sorry about this too" Jen adds and leans forward kissing the teenagers cheek. Tilly closes her eyes at the kiss, succumbing to the brunettes apology; she could never stay mad at Jen.
"Jen if last night was perfect, why are you scared?" asks Tilly finally calm enough to talk.
"Because this is not supposed to be perfect. This is not supposed to even exist. Me and you aren't in a relationship." Jen replies, not really sure if even she agrees with her words. "We are not supposed to be this intense, this is just supposed to be young and free and fun." she adds, dismissing all of her heart's protests.
Tilly feels the words sting a little, however, both women are in stubborn denial of their underlying love for each other. Tilly concludes Jen is right, shes seventeen and has so much life ahead of her, so why complicate things. They were so equally destroyed by the fight this morning that they just want to be in each others arms again; and minus any complications or seriousness. Tilly convinces herself she does not need anything more.
She leans in and kisses Jen on the lips softly, letting her know that she is alright with the situation.
"Talking of fun." Jen says pulling a white credit card item from her bag "I still have the room key and checkout is not for another two hours." She adds with a smile at Tilly.
"Good, coz you really need a Shower! " replies Tilly with a smile, earning herself a mini punch from the brunette.
Jen gets out the Jeep and walks around the bonnet "How about instead of me showering.." She says opening and then leaning on the passenger car door "...you join me for a bath?"
"ok" Tilly responds with a wink "and then after, you can take me the long way home."