Wow, so many people are telling me how the BDSM lifestyle is… you naughty girls. No seriously, let it be known here and now that Tanya and McCreepy are NOT poster children for BDSM (they have deeper seated issues that make them who they are). And in terms of people in the story thinking it's depraved, they are about to be schooled. Relax now and have a little faith, K?
Updated early to keep the pitchforks at bay. And long as fudge cuz it needed to be.
Hurts So Good- John Cougar Mellencamp (shut it, it made me think of Charlie opening his mind…lol)
~~oo~~
Chapter 62: I mean, he had handcuffs.
BPOV
I had a hard time falling asleep. Edward snuck out after a rather nice albeit short make out session, whispering something about being shot in the ass should he do any more. I huffed at him and threw my panties at him as he crawled out of the window.
I hoped he caught them, otherwise I'd have to search the bushes downstairs before Charlie found them.
But I couldn't sleep because I wondered how I could get Charlie to understand that what Edward and I did was nothing like whatever Tanya had said it would be. Thinking about that woman only made me see red and I spent most of the night tossing and turning with short dreams of kicking her ass.
I'm not really a violent person.
It had something to do with the coordination handicap I had.
I'd end up punching myself before I did any damage to the other person.
But damn it I wanted to kick her ass and risk a night in jail.
Charlie wouldn't actually put me in a cell.
I think.
But really, it would be worth it. And I knew for a fact that the holding cells weren't that bad.
I drifted off to a fitful sleep late, dreaming of being some super ninja karate champion that Jet Li would be proud of.
And beating the crap out of that woman that made all this the fucked up situation that it was.
I almost hoped Tanya was at school the next day.
I dared her.
In my dreams at least.
In reality, I knew she wouldn't be.
I pulled in to my parking space, Edward and I both agreeing that until Charlie cooled down, it was best that I drove myself. I walked up to Edward's car after he had pulled in, smiling when he gingerly covered our nearly forgotten Flour Child from the light mist. He looked up when he saw me approach, and I could tell he had slept about as well as I had.
"Rough night?" I asked, relieving him of our future pastry spawn.
He smirked and wrapped his arm around me, steering me towards the classrooms.
"I had the most colourful dreams last night," he said, his smirk widening as if from a private joke.
"Were they red in color?" I teased. "Because mine were about kicking ass all night."
He chuckled and eyed me sideways.
"And whose ass did you want to kick?" he mused.
"Take your pick," I muttered and held him a little closer. "If she's here today, you might need to bail me out."
His face grew serious and he shook his head.
"She's not here today. Esme called the principal an hour ago. He said she would be arrested if she stepped foot on campus," he said.
"That's too bad, I wore my boots today," I huffed and showed him the old combat boots Renee had given me.
She had thought they would be good for all the mud and tree branches I might encounter.
But really I thought of them as good kicking boots.
He chuckled again and held me a little closer. I felt his lips brush over my hairline as we stepped up to my first class.
"Do you want me to meet you here after?" he asked, and I could tell he was worrying over me.
It was nice.
He seemed to have become more protective of me overnight.
Protective. Not possessive.
Something Tanya had failed to see.
Stupid bitch.
"I'll be okay. I'll see you at lunch?" I asked.
He leaned in and kissed me softly, lingering long enough that Jessica groaned in disgust as she walked past us.
Whatever.
I enjoyed it.
"See you later then," he whispered and slowly drew away.
He waited until I was in my classroom before he turned and walked swiftly towards his own class as the bell rang. I hated that he'd be late, but the smile on his face told me he didn't care. It was nice to see that he was handling this whole situation well.
I on the other hand had trouble concentrating all morning.
Regardless of what Edward had said, I still expected to see her when I stepped into my class for English. I was tense the period before, missing most of the lecture.
What did I really need to know about the Industrial Era anyway?
It wasn't until I stepped into the English class that I felt myself relax slightly.
At least until the new sub walked in.
Just that word now made me feel violent.
And this one was young and pretty and all I could think of was that Dr. Creepy had somehow managed to call in new reinforcements.
I'd never trust anyone again.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Angela leaning towards me, her gossip face on.
"Did you hear? Ms. Denali was caught with one of the students doing some pretty kinky things," she whispered and slid her seat a little closer.
Is that what the rumor was?
Terrifying how close to the truth it was.
How was that possible?
Was the principal there when Charlie questioned her?
"She sure worked fast. I wonder who it was," she continued. "Jess thinks it was Tyler. Did you see how he looked at her in class?"
I kept quiet and concentrated on the teacher at the front of the room.
What would her trick be?
Miss Smith…
What an original name.
I kept quiet throughout class, not daring to offer this new sub any chance of learning about me.
I wondered if Edward would recognize her.
I half wished I had asked him to meet me now.
Of course I'd hate to know if he did recognize her.
Dr. Creepy could still cause me to be uncomfortable, even with him following the restraining orders.
The bell rang, and I rushed out, straight to the lunchroom where I found Edward already waiting. He watched me as I made my way towards him, his smile faltering a little when he saw how tense I was.
"What's wrong? She wasn't there was she?" he asked when I slid in to sit beside him.
I shook my head.
"No, but there was another woman there," I muttered. "Who knows who she is? And there's rumors about Tanya sleeping with one of the students."
He nodded and pulled my hand into his lap, leaning in to kiss my jaw.
"I heard. Tyler and Eric were talking about it. They're just rumors. I don't think they can make any connections. What did the teacher look like?" he asked.
I looked up just in time to see Miss Smith and Mr. Banner walking in together. I pointed towards her and watched as Edward surveyed her.
"Never seen her before," he said and looked back down at me with a smile. "I think we can take her off the ass kicking list."
I pretended to pout at him and pulled out my lunch, glancing every now and then her way, just to be sure that she wasn't spying on us.
I still didn't trust her.
Who goes by Miss Smith anyway?
Besides people named Smith?
I wasn't letting down my guard.
I relaxed a little in Biology. We watched a movie on genetics, which really meant that Edward could tease me with his fingertips tracing along my thigh for an excruciatingly long thirty five minutes without allowing me any sort of relief.
Never was a janitor's closet more in need at the end of class when I looked up to see his dark eyes.
I could skip gym.
Who needed to run laps with my tripping dysfunction?
"Your dad's here."
My perverted thoughts of sex in a closet vanished instantly at Edward's words.
I turned to see where he was looking and frowned when I saw my dad, in full uniform standing in the hall speaking with Mr. Banner.
If he had plans of separating us, I was going to go ballistic.
"Ms. Swan, your dad is here to take you to your doctor's appointment," Mr. Banner said, smiling benignly.
Doctor's appointment?
I glanced at Edward, who had lost that lusty look in favor of one more suited to a morning after heavy drinking. He was almost green. Charlie stepped in and waited while I gathered my bag. I tried to ignore the stares from the rest of the class.
It was already awkward being the Police Chief's daughter. Now I was being picked up like I was in elementary school.
What was his game?
"Call me later?" Edward whispered as I stood.
I nodded and pushed FC towards him.
"Watch after him? I'd rather not cart him around, wherever I'm going," I murmured.
He nodded and watched me as I walked towards my dad, who was staring me down until I stepped out into the hall. Charlie was all business.
"What doctor's appointment, Dad?" I asked as we stepped out into the cool afternoon air.
"I spoke with Esme this morning, to apologize to her for last night," he started, looking straight ahead so as to avoid my gaze.
"And?" I asked, impatient.
His mustache twitched and he glanced my way, a little abashed.
"She suggested this. That maybe we could understand what is going on a little better," he said.
I slid into the passenger seat of the cruiser and waited before putting on my seatbelt.
Waited for more of an explanation.
"What doctor, Dad?" I said finally when he wouldn't continue.
"Esme knows a doctor. Someone who understands this issue. Esme's been seeing her, as well as Edward," he said haltingly and swallowed nervously.
"You mean Alice Whitlock, Jasper's wife?" I asked.
His eyes darted to mine as if in shock.
"I understand a lot more than you realize, Dad," I huffed and put my seatbelt on.
"She's married to Jasper the pastry guy?" he asked.
"How many Whitlocks do you think there are in this town, Dad?" I said, questioning his investigative skills now.
He shook his head and pulled out, mumbling something about not knowing people anymore.
We were quiet the entire drive there, pulling up near the entrance of the hospital. Charlie took a long breath and held onto the steering wheel for a long time before finally speaking.
"Look, Esme says Edward is not like what Tanya Denali painted him as. I believe her, I just am not sure how all this has affected him, and you," he said and stared at his knuckles gripping the wheel.
"Then maybe you should sit down and talk to him rather than treat him like a criminal, Dad," I said, earning me a pained scowl from him.
"I didn't treat him like a criminal," he argued. "Not really."
I opened up the car door and closed it, watching him get out slowly, watching me.
"You didn't listen to him or treat him like a person that needed guidance or support either, Dad," I replied. "He hasn't had a good father figure in his life, and right when he thinks he is making headway in gaining your trust for who he is, you go and believe someone that should really be in jail. I don't get you sometimes."
I turned and started towards the automatic doors, only to be brought up short when I nearly bumped into the one person I really didn't want to see.
"Bella," Dr. Cullen said, a fake smile on his face. "I can't very keep the prescribed distance if you feel the need to stalk my place of work."
"We're here for a reason, Dr. Cullen. All you have to do is step aside."
Dr. Creepy's smile faltered at the sound of Charlie's voice, a cold glare passing over me to what I assume was directed at my dad.
"Of course, Chief Swan," he said and then turned back to me. "I certainly hope it is nothing serious, Bella. I would hate to hear that something bad had happened to you."
"I'm sure you would," I hissed, feeling my temperature spike.
So badly I wanted to just tell him I was coming in to get birth control so his son could have me any time.
Probably not the best thing to say in front of Charlie.
That appointment was for another time.
"Excuse us," Charlie said and I felt his hand on my shoulder guiding me around the creeper.
Every time I saw him, he made me feel unclean.
I couldn't imagine Esme or Edward living with that every day.
Now I understood why Edward was so withdrawn sometimes.
I tried to shake off the interaction with Dr. Creepy when we got in the elevator. But it was a short ride up three floors and immediately I was thinking about what Alice Whitlock would have to say about all this. Surely she couldn't say anything about Edward's treatments?
Or was this supposed to be an intervention for me?
Did Charlie think I had a problem?
"Bella! So good to see you again!"
I noticed Alice at the office doorway, a bright smile on her face as she beckoned us in.
Charlie held onto his hat and shuffled in, looking around at the pictures on the wall. It looked like Alice and Jasper had been all over the world.
"Have a seat you two," she said, her voice bright and cheerful. She didn't seem like she was about to confront this weird elephant in the room.
I sat in the comfortable wingback she had set up in the center of the room, facing two other chairs, a plush arm chair that she sat in, leaving Charlie with an older looking arm chair that he sat in rather stiffly.
She pulled out a note pad and I had to wonder if this was like what Edward's sessions were, sitting in comfortable chairs and hopefully just talking.
I glanced around and didn't see one of those sofa loungers anywhere.
"So Chief Swan," she said, looking intently at my dad, notebook resting on her crossed legs and pen in hand. "What brings you in?"
He blushed and cleared his throat, looking at me like he wanted me to say.
No clue, Dad.
She looked from me to him and back again and slowly placed her notepad on the side table, folding her hands in her lap lightly before she spoke.
"I am sure you have questions and concerns. I know much of what you have found out in the last few weeks," she said, looking at me. "And particularly last night."
How did she know? Did Esme call her?
Or Edward?
Did Edward talk to her about me?
I mean I know he did, but did he talk about me?
She turned her eyes to Charlie and continued.
"And I am sure you have concerns based on some of what you know, however little or stilted it is," she said and I watched Charlie's mustache quiver again.
"I just need to know my daughter is going to be safe with someone like Edward," he mumbled.
I let out an exasperated sigh.
"Someone like Edward?" I asked heatedly.
Alice remained quiet and turned back to Charlie, an inquisitive look on her face.
He swallowed and cleared his throat.
"You know what I mean," he stammered and wiggled his mustache again nervously. "Someone who's experienced all that."
"All what, Dad?" I asked, overly innocent.
"You know," he said again.
I held my ground and stared at him blankly.
"Apparently she doesn't," Alice said with a small smile. "Or she is waiting for you to say it out loud. Sometimes by not saying it, you can pretend it doesn't exist."
"Fine," he said roughly. "All the things he experienced with that woman, then. All the bondage and crazy kinky things that normal people don't do. How am I supposed to feel she's safe around someone that experienced that sordid lifestyle?"
Alice raised her eyebrow and pursed her lips.
"I see this is going to be a little more complicated than I had thought," she said and then turned to me. "Bella, would you be so kind as to wait outside until I call you back in. I think this particular matter should be addressed in two separate sessions, and then perhaps we can speak together again."
I glanced at my dad, who suddenly looked a lot paler than his usual pasty self. I nodded and all but ran for the door, not sure I wanted to hear what she was going to say to Charlie.
I hoped she was going to ream him a new asshole for being so closed minded and judgemental.
I had never pegged my dad as a prude, but had thought that maybe he knew his way around sexual exploits.
I mean. He had handcuffs.
I shook that thought out of my head in disgust and sat stiffly in the waiting room, surprised that the magazines were actually current. A lot of fashion magazines I didn't really get into, although the Cosmo had an interesting article on making your man want more.
I was pretty sure Edward didn't need help on that front.
We just needed place and time.
I sighed and closed my eyes, wondering how long it would take to deprogram my dad from his prehistoric views on sex. I was impatient to get this solved, get Tanya out of town and hopefully move forward with our relationship. As long as Charlie distrusted Edward, it would be awkward around the house whenever he came over.
And I had a few questions for Alice on my own.
I had been thinking about talking with her since I had learned whom she was.
I had questions about my own fears and desires.
And how they worked or didn't work with Edward's issues.
Not really issues. Preconceived notions of his issues.
I still maintained that what he liked to do was completely normal.
Of course I was curious too.
What had Tanya said to Charlie to make him judge Edward so badly?
Had she told Charlie more than I knew?
Like what Edward got off on?
Or maybe Edward hadn't told me everything about what he liked, afraid he'd scare me.
To be honest, I knew very little about what people who liked that lifestyle did, or how healthy it was. Maybe it really was wrong? Something that fulfilled a traumatic event in their life, maybe.
Like being abused as a child. Or not loved enough.
That gave me pause, knowing how Edward's issues stemmed from feeling unloved or losing the affection of his mother as a child.
So maybe people who did that sort of thing had deeper issues than simply liking a little tie up and spanking. What else did they do?
I was well out of my league.
Perhaps Edward really did have other desires I didn't know about and he was terrified of losing my affection because of it.
I was so confused. How could it be so mainstream then? Or as least ore understood. If it was bad, then why was Tanya free to go about as she pleased if she hadn't messed with Edward?
Was his view of it all completely slanted by someone else's bad approach to it?
Certainly what that bitch had done was wrong, because of his age, regardless of any excuse of age of consent. He was still too young. But was it bad if the two people were consenting adults? Again, I didn't have a clue, because I didn't know to what extent Edward had gone with her.
So far everything we had done together was good in my book.
But it was also just a couple of days' worth of exploration.
What happened if Edward brought out the whips and chains?
Did they really use whips and chains?
I needed to research this, probably not something I could do from home or at the library.
Maybe at work on my break.
We had wi-fi.
That was probably not the best idea.
Could you imagine what Jasper would do?
He was odd enough. What happened when he caught me Googling bondage?
I needed someone who understood it, and wasn't insane like Dr. Creepy.
Someone like Alice.
"Bella? You can come in now."
I opened my eyes to find Charlie shuffling out again, his forehead wrinkled in that way he did when I asked him questions about Trigonometry. He was completely and utterly confounded.
Was that good?
Crap.
What if I had all this wrong and I was about to admit to some sexual perversion?
I liked the ice!
She wouldn't ask that, right?
"You look nervous, Bella," Alice said and I tried my best to look more relaxed.
I don't think I achieved it by the smile on Alice's face.
"What did you think about out there while I spoke with you father?" she asked.
I blushed and looked down at my hands.
"That I hoped you told him Edward was normal and that maybe I needed to do some research," I mumbled.
"Research on what?"
My face felt like it was on fire.
"On everything Edward did," I murmured, barely audible to my own ears.
"Ah, well I can tell you that most information you will find on the Internet is misleading and disturbing if you look in the wrong places. I can give you some sites to look up if you are serious about it," she said, making me look up at her in surprise.
She laughed and settled into her seat, notebook forgotten.
"Does that surprise you?" she asked. "That I would offer you information about this subject?"
I nodded and fidgeted in my seat under her gaze.
"I just didn't think you'd recommend me to learn more," I mumbled.
"It would be better to know what it is about by trusted resources than by learning from someone or something that has it all wrong for the wrong reasons. That's how we are in this predicament to begin with," she said and watched me as I tried to process.
So was she saying that Edward was messed up, or that Tanya was?
I knew she was.
But Edward. I could never think that.
"So you want me to tell your father that Edward is normal?" she asked.
I bit at my lip and nodded.
"I know what he went through changed his views on things, but I don't think Edward is a deviant or perverted," I said and adjusted in my chair a little. "He's not like that with me."
She was quiet for a moment and when I looked up at her, she was eyeing me thoughtfully.
Did she know what we did?
No, she couldn't. He hadn't seen her yet since we first…
Or did he talk about what he wanted to do?
He wasn't your average boy, I knew that. But did she know more?
Did everyone know more than me?
Did he tell her things that she knew were wrong, and now she was wondering if I was just as odd as he was?
"So what do you think is a normal sexual encounter, Bella?" she asked finally.
I paused and thought about it, all the while quite aware that she was watching my reaction.
I didn't really like talking about sex with her I suddenly realized. I barely knew her and it felt like I was betraying Edward's privacy by talking about it. But I also knew that this was her specialty. And she knew Edward, and his desires. So maybe she was trying to see if we were right for each other.
What was normal?
"Sharing something that you both want to do, without hurting the other in the process," I said, watching her smile turn up on one side.
"So do you think that pain is not allowed in a consensual sexual relationship?" she asked, her face unreadable except for that tiny smirk.
I shrugged.
"I don't really like pain, so for me it would be no," I replied. "That seems more like abuse really."
"What if your partner liked a little pain?" she asked, shifting in her chair casually. "Would you say it was wrong if, let's say, your partner liked to be spanked?"
"Well," I said, pausing. I didn't think spanking was the kind of pain I was thinking of. "I don't see that as wrong. But something more I might have a problem with."
She nodded and tapped her lips with her index finger as she thought.
"So a normal sexual relationship to you is a consensual agreement between lovers to enjoy one another and what they may enjoy doing together?" she asked.
I nodded.
Sure.
That sounded right.
"Do you know what BDSM is Bella?" she asked, her voice so matter of fact, regardless of the conversation.
I swallowed and remained quiet.
I didn't really want to show her just how little I knew.
She smiled tenderly and continued.
"It's all right, Bella. Most people who don't participate in the community don't really know enough to define it," she said simply. "What do you think it is, using whatever words you can think of when you hear it?"
I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.
This is what I wanted to talk to her about right?
So why was I so nervous? And she was so calm and controlled.
"Control," I said outloud. "Um, I know there is dominance over someone. And giving in. And things you might not normally do."
I sounded like an idiot.
"Do you feel comfortable talking about the things?"
Boy was I glad my dad was outside for this.
"Tying someone up?" I offered, feeling better when she smiled and nodded.
"Anything else?"
"Um," I said, stalling. "Blindfolding?"
She adjusted in her chair and continued to smile at me.
It wasn't mocking, more like two girls talking about something their boyfriends did the night before.
"Those two particulars are things people outside of the community participate in quite often, but it is common in BDSM as well," she said and sighed. "Let's first discuss the clinical definition. BDSM encompasses bondage and discipline play, so that covers things as simple as tying up, securing someone so they cannot escape, and disciplining them for actions that the Dominant may feel were not met to his or her satisfaction."
"So, spanking and whipping," I suggested.
She smiled and nodded.
"In simple terms yes," she answered, her smile broadening. "I don't think that is something that you and Edward will be participating in. But some Dominant/submissive roles may venture into your interactions."
"I don't think he wants that," I said, shutting my mouth before I told too much.
She would ask him I was sure.
"You don't think once in a while he won't want to be in control, or want you to take control of the encounter?" she asked.
"Well, yeah. I guess," I said.
"That in its simplest form is the D/s relationship. But you're right, I doubt he will want that relationship to go much past simple switching of roles once in a while. Some people in the community live teir D/s relationships 24/7. It's their desire to live that way. And some just choose a place and time to act in this way," she explained.
Okay. So so far, tying up and acting a little dominant was okay.
"The last part is what more people take issue with when they regard the BDSM community," she said. "Sadism and masochism are perhaps the most misunderstood parts of the community. There's others, but for simplicity sake, let's just say that S & M is perhaps the most extreme that you might encounter."
"That's the enjoyment of pain," I said.
I knew a little.
I think.
"In simple terms, yes. The sadist likes to inflict pain. The masochist enjoys receiving it. It sexually excites them. But they are not into it to cause permanent damage. There are rules," she said.
"So that community is not really weird or freaky or anything," I stated, a little confused.
Dr. Creepy and Tanya were definitely freaks.
"I'll tell you what I told your father, Bella," she said and sat a little straighter. "Couples that engage in BDSM are for the most part highly intelligent, well-balanced individuals who have particular tastes in a certain genre of sexual activity. They want something more to their activities, but there are limits and standards to this. Couples don't engage in activities that make their partner uncomfortable to the point of not enjoying the act."
She paused to make sure I understood.
"But what Tanya did to Edward," I started and she put her hand up.
"We won't talk about Edward's situation with Ms. Denali," she said gently. "I told your father the same thing. I think if he is all right with it, you might sit in on a session with him, because I think you need to understand his perspective. There is a lot going on with that particular situation. But I will say that what he experienced was not a healthy BDSM relationship. And sadly that happens, and it damages those involved."
My heart fell a little.
"So you think Edward is damaged. That he's not normal," I whispered, crestfallen.
She let out a loud bark of a laugh, startling me.
"Oh Bella," she said between her laughter. "If he was an issue, I wouldn't have let you walk out with him that day I met you. People put far too much emphasis on what they think is normal."
I sat there a little flustered.
"Let me put it to you this way, sweetie," she said and leaned forward, leaning into her knees so she could talk a little more quietly. "If you are happy, and you enjoy what happens between the two of you, then you are both normal. It isn't normal when it becomes something that can't be equally shared, or when the other gets hurt. You have a very healthy and caring relationship with Edward from what I can see and gather from conversations with him, his mother, and even your father."
"But my dad doesn't want me to see him," I said.
She leaned back and smiled.
"What father is not going to worry about his little girl?" she asked and then grew much more serious. "You have a unique situation, because the abuse is such that your father feels that it may be still a part of Edward's being. I will tell you both that Edward is stronger than that. Your father just needs a little time and education."
"Education?" I asked, confused.
She smirked and nodded.
"I think it's important to read up on something you don't know much about, don't you? Your father has some links to read up on. I'll give them to you as well. The lifestyle doesn't have to be like what you have heard about or seen. It is actually quite fulfilling to those that practice it. And it is all consensual and well structured. There are safety nets and strict guidelines to what can be performed. When it isn't, when the partnership is no longer a team play, then it is abusive and no longer really BDSM. It's abuse," she explained.
"You know a lot about it," I said in awe.
"It's my job to know," she said with a smile that made me feel so much more comfortable about talking about this with her. She made it sound like she was talking about preferring Coke over Pepsi.
I could see why Edward was always so happy when he left from his sessions.
She made it easy.
"So if I have questions?" I asked.
"I am always happy to answer them," she said. "But it's important for you to keep the communication lines open with Edward. If you two are open and honest, then anything you do together will be a good experience."
I picked at the hem of my shirt, thinking.
Wondering.
"So, if say we've done some stuff that we both like to do, but might make my dad have a heart attack, it's still okay? Because we like it?" I asked bashfully.
"What you and Edward do is your own business. You are both eighteen, and consenting adults. Now if Chief Swan doesn't want you stealing his handcuffs in his own house, that's his business. I know it must be difficult, being young and still living at home. Parents are terrified about their kids having sex as it is, but if it's not vanilla, then its even more alarming," she said, chuckling at my confused face.
"Vanilla?" I asked.
"That's plain sex, at least that's what its called in the community," she answered, glancing back at the door that led to where Charlie sat. "It's what we all expect our parents know about. The straight and narrow. Simple non exotic, the no props kind of sex."
Oh.
Well I liked the props and stuff.
"So it's okay to like some of that," I whispered, looking up at her cautiously.
"It's all right as long as you enjoy it and you are not hurting one another. It has to be consensual," she reiterated, that smirk forming again.
I thought about it, feeling some of what I was sure Edward had felt that first day when she had said he was not some freak his father had made him out to be.
It was totally normal. And all right to continue doing.
Already I was planning.
"Should we let your dad back in so we can put him at ease?" she asked softly.
"Um, what if I need to talk again?" I asked. "Without my dad?"
She pulled out a business card and offered me a tender smile.
"You and Edward will be fine. Parents can just be a little too over protective. But I can answer more questions if you have them. Maybe one day you and Edward can come in together if you feel the need. To help guide you. I know it's tough when you are just starting out. It can go all wrong if you don't have the proper guidance," she said.
And then it really hit me.
The way she said it. So sure. Like she knew from experience.
"You and Japser…" I said, trailing off.
She tilted her head and regarded me calmly for a moment before answering.
"Yes," she replied simply. "Are you surprised that we are?"
"Maybe a little?" I answered truthfully.
"Because we seem so normal?" she said teasingly.
I let out a nervous laugh and nodded.
"Well that just proves that normal people can be into other things and still be normal," she replied.
I eyed her for a long minute, trying to figure out who was the one in control in the relationship. It was far too difficult to figure out.
She grinned and stood.
"Come on, let's put your dad's mind at rest so you can go home. It's Friday after all, I'm sure you have plans you'd like to keep," she said and winked.
Oh yeah.
That would be weird to know she was going to hear about all our exploits tomorrow.
I thought I would be more freaked out by it, but with Alice, she made you feel a lot more comfortable than you would any other time. And knowing now that she understood, more than just clinically, it felt a lot safer in my world.
Charlie came back in, looking at me carefully.
Like the time alone in here with Alice would cure me or change me.
"So here's how it goes, Chief Swan," Alice started and leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "I know you have concerns about Edward being the right person for your daughter, but you also have to take her feelings into account. You have to have faith in her. She's a smart girl. And a good judge of character.
"So I suggest you both take some time with the links I have given you. Chief Swan if you want to look them over and then call me if you have questions, I am here to talk. But it is important for you to look at Bella's boyfriend with an open mind. He's a complex individual that deserves to have some happiness in his life. And if I dare say, a father figure. Please don't take the words of someone who has a history of manipulation over his obvious caring feelings for your daughter."
She then turned to me.
"Bella, I am so glad that you came into Edward's life. Without saying too much, I can say that you are very important to him. Anyone can see that. I know you have an open mind, but please ask me anything you wish, any time. And you should look at the links as well, so you can understand the truth behind what happened. They not only explain what that lifestyle is, but also there are a few sites there that are for those that were abused. It happens more than you know, sadly," she said and looked down for a moment, as if to collect her thoughts.
When she looked up again, she seemed a little wistful.
"There's so much hate and judgement out there in the world today, I hope you both can see and make better decisions than many of those that refuse to have an open mind and a caring heart. I know you care for Edward, Bella. It's important to stay open and honest in your relationship. And for the Chief to understand that you are an adult and can take care of yourself," she said, looking to both of us.
I nodded, feeling a lot more at ease than I had in a while.
She looked over at Charlie who was rubbing at his mustache.
"Chief Swan?" she asked. "You're going to work on seeing Edward as you did before Ms. Denali exposed a very hurtful and trying time for him, right? You are going to trust that your daughter, who has always been honest with you, will do the right thing and can handle herself?"
"Yes," he mumbled, looking over at me as if he worried it all may go south any moment.
"The two of you have a very special relationship, I can see that," she continued. "Trust each other. And Charlie? Have a little faith in Edward. He's really a very kind young man. Give him a chance before you draw your weapon, okay?"
He grunted and a ghost of a smile appeared under his mustache. They must have talked about something involving shooting Edward when I wasn't in the room, because Alice was smirking and shaking her finger at Charlie.
"All right, you have my number if you ever need to talk or need another meeting," she said and stood up to shake Charlie's hand.
They said their good byes and she glanced at me, a silent look of reassurance on her face before she saw us to the door.
I liked Alice.
I had no idea she and Jasper had lived in that lifestyle, but seeing how happy they were made me realize just how normal this all was.
I was starting to think the vanilla people were being short-changed, to be honest.
I wouldn't tell Charlie that.
He was still looking a little pale.
It was awkward enough that he knew we were even having sex, if he had figured that out yet.
I was questioning his police skills a lot lately.
Who knew my dad was fallible?
We were quiet until we got into the car.
"I'm sorry I didn't trust you," he said before he started the engine.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes.
"I really overreacted, I know," he said and looked over at me to find me waiting expectantly.
He nodded and started the car.
"I'll apologize to Edward," he said and put the car into gear. "Doesn't mean I still won't worry. He's still a boy who wants to defile my little girl."
I rolled my eyes and looked out the window at the darkening landscape.
"Have you ever considered that I might be the one wanting to defile him?" I asked, pleased with myself when I felt the brakes and the car slow down.
He pointed at me and gave me that warning scowl of his.
"I'm a fragile person right now, Bells. I don't want to know about these things," he groused and turned to the road again.
He growled under his breath and glanced back at me.
"Great," he muttered. "Now I'm worried I need to warn Edward about you."
"Too late, Dad," I teased.
"LALALALALALALALA!" he exclaimed and covered one hand over his ear.
For all the times he had given me a hard time, it was nice I could rattle him for once.
Alice was right. I was eighteen. Dad had to let go sometime.
Instead of driving me home, Charlie took me back to school, where my truck was waiting. He parked beside the truck and let out a long breath.
"I suppose you want to go out tonight?" he asked carefully.
I was surprised he was being so accommodating. Alice must have really laid into him.
I nodded.
He sighed again and closed his eyes.
"All right, but not too late," he said. "And maybe tomorrow you can invite Edward over so I can spend some…time with him."
"I'll ask him," I replied, not really sure Edward would be up for another conversation with him so soon.
"All right, well go, before I change my mind and lock you up in your room," he said and then smirked. "And bar the windows."
I blushed at his comment.
If he knew about the window, why hadn't he barred it or chopped the tree branches by now?
"Go on," he said, waving his hand towards my truck.
"Thanks, Dad," I replied quickly and leaned in to peck him on the cheek.
He continued to wave me off, pretending to look put out as I struggled with my bag and my coat.
I pulled out ahead of him, eager to be on my way to go see Edward.
Charlie followed me until he turned off towards home, and I continued down the road towards the Cullens. At the stoplight I pulled out my phone and sent him a text.
I'm taking you out. Be there in 10.
The light changed and I started up again, smiling as I made my way down the road, coming to his driveway in no time.
I was a little surprised to see him thereon the porch, waiting for me. Before I had the truck in park, he hopped in and leaned in to kiss me deeply. When he pulled back, he was smiling.
"Did you run away? Because we will never get away in this truck," he teased.
I laughed and put the truck back in gear, slowly making my way down their long driveway.
"I will have you know that my dad told me to go out tonight," I said, smirking when he looked at me in surprise.
"Your dad?"
I smiled and nodded.
"It was a very interesting afternoon," I replied.
"You met with Alice," he stated, curiosity taking over.
"I did," I replied.
"Esme told me Charlie was going to take you," he explained eyeing me thoughtfully as I drove.
"Well I think Alice convinced Charlie that you and I could do what we liked," I said, shaking my head in wonder that my dad had actually given in to her so easily. "She has quite a way of working things out."
"And you talked to her?" he asked, and I could hear the bit of fear in his voice.
I looked over at him and smiled warmly.
"I learned a lot more about us than I thought I would," I said. "It was a little weird, knowing she knows you, but I think it's a good thing. She knows what we're both feeling. And she said we are good for each other."
"That should make tomorrow interesting," he replied, amused.
"Only if tonight is as interesting as I'd like it to be," I replied, wiggling my eyebrows.
"It's already interesting," he said and then looked back behind us.
"What are you looking for?" I asked.
"Police lights," he said, half teasing, but he continued to look behind us with careful eyes.
"Charlie is going to behave, Edward," I said. "He's going to give us a chance. How do you feel about coming over tomorrow?"
"To talk to Charlie?" he asked, sceptical.
"To have dinner, and talk to Charlie," I said, watching as he seemed to process.
"I guess I can't just say let's run away to Canada?"
"It'll be fine, I promise," I said and turned down the road leading to the old logging trails.
"Where are we going tonight?" he asked.
"To be alone," I replied, smiling.
He looked back behind us, just to be sure.
"I'm serious, Edward," I reassured him. "Charlie isn't following us."
He nodded and turned around slowly, his hand moving towards my thigh before he let out a nervous laugh.
"It's just never this easy. Something is bound to happen," he quipped, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. "That or we are finally starting to have something we can hold onto."
"I like the last part better," I replied softly and pulled down one of the trails I knew led to an open clearing.
It wasn't warm enough to really enjoy it like I imagined I would when I had found it when I first moved here, but it was quiet and private and no one would bother us while we were there.
At the very least, it was the best make out spot we could ask for.
And maybe tomorrow, we'd bring some blankets.
But for tonight, we could be alone for once without the fear of being found out or needing to keep vigil.
Tonight was ours.
~~oo~~
AN: Oh, don't get bent on the way it ended… that was a long long chappy… This was an important chapter, judging by the comments from the last one.
Hope you all feel a little better about Charlie, and how BDSM is perceived. And please, don't take my account as some all knowing description of it. At least I researched a little. For those in the community, forgive me if I missed anything. I warned everyone in the beginning I wasn't going to spend a large amount of time researching and processing… and now here we are at 62 chapters… doh…
More soon! Who wants to see Jasper's reaction! I DO I DO! I've missed our pastry chef! Oh yeah. And the Creepy twins… yeah... they're coming up too. Way to be a downer!
MWAH!
steph