Firstly, I would like to apologize for the miss spelling of Gilmour...whoops! Think we all got caught out there ha ha. Again thank you so much for the reviews...it makes this process so enjoyable. Hope you continue to enjoy too, Cleo xx Ps The Words in italic belong to the show. I own nothing; only a laptop and a huge crush on this pair *:o)
Tilly had finally allowed Jen to finish the sketch and the amused brunette had labeled the portrait 'The temptress' in homage to the same titled Jack Vettriano piece; inspired by her seductive red-head. Vettriano may have been the topic of conversation , however, Jen's head space was much more Vladimir kush; as she struggles internally with her emotional decision. How was she going to leave all this behind? Jen knew she had some big soul searching ahead; she still had not taken the job and she had not yet spoken to Tilly about the inevitable demise of their summer fling. How could she possibly confess this to Tilly; when she was still in denial herself. She was more than aware that in her delay she was allowing them both to fall deeper in love with each other; yet she could not stop; Being near Tilly was becoming as essential as breathing to the conflicted teacher.
She had one last thread of hope to save the doomed relationship that was consuming her thought process; her interview was today for her first choice school. In theory, a future with Tilly could be possible if the interview was successful; they would still have to be really discreet but it didn't spell death like Hollyoaks would. Jen knew Tilly was making her resolve weak; either college and the teacher still had a responsibility to end the affair. She resented her predicament and raged against her thought process; 'I'll deal with it later' she states to her brain.
"I have to leave now" Announced Tilly after emerging from the bathroom, her hair still wet and scraped back; resembling a youthful Cate Blanchet. Jen smiles from her chair admiring the teens strong face, both as an artist and as a woman; she sighs almost in a swoon, knowing how innocently unaware Tilly is of her natural beauty.
"awww" replies Jen in her playful voice.
"Sorry, I promised to meet the guys and I have some unfinished chores you keep distracting me from." Tilly responds, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Jen's forehead.
"Yes, me too I suppose. plenty of things I need to be organizing. I have to prepare for my interview too." The teacher announces with reality sinking back into her resolve.
"oow yeah Hux green. I've everything crossed for you!" Tilly states excited because both their futures are riding on this interview. If Jen gets the job, then all the forbidden element of their relationship dissolves away along with the resulting frustration.
"Not your legs I hope?" Jen replies with a sultry pucker of the lips, then runs her hand up the inside of the teens thigh as she stands in front of her. "Can you get away tonight again?, I can book us in for another night." She is running out of money but she knows these final moments are worth more than any amount; Subconsciously she is trying to prolong the fantasy.
"Yeah, I think It will be fine." Tilly responds pulling Jen's face up by the chin so she can kiss her on the mouth to say goodbye. "See you tonight." she adds before collecting her bag and walking out the hotel room.
Tilly had played it super cool but as soon as she is out of ear shot she squeals in excitement; another night with the gorgeous Jen Gilmour. She still could not believe that this attractive and intelligent older women would want her in this way. Even tho she never let Jen see, Tilly is still overwhelmed with every kiss and almost in shock that she is able to touch Jen; believing the brunette is completely out of her league. If either of them put as much effort into communicating to each other, as they did to their own thought processes, they would both realise that they were totally in awe of each other.
Now back in the town, Tilly wonders around lost in her own blissful thought process. Neil knocks Tilly out of her day dream with a confession of knowledge to her secret affair with their college teacher.
"hey, don't lie to me man...we're supposed to be mates." Neil adds dismissing Tilly's denial to the accusation.
"You can't say anything to anyone." Tilly responds in panic; Not wanting to betray her friendship but at the same time protect Jen.
"Like I would man." Neil almost interrupts, slightly annoyed that Tilly would even think he was incapable of understanding the situation. He looks away and shakes his head upset that Tilly is questioning his trust. He understands, however, that his friend is scared of the consequences; he voices his concerns to highlight his understanding and underlining support for his peer. He quickly realizes, from the defeat on Tilly's face, that the relationship is more than lust.
"What ever happens...I'm here, yeah?...for keeps." He finally announces pulling the red-head into a friendly embrace. Tilly is internally relieved that the secret is out; even if it is just one person. Holding on to this silent truth was beginning to take its toll on the teenager. She may have been mature for her years, however, this process was submerging her. Firstly her feelings for Jen were bigger than she had ever experienced and secondly the stress of the complicated circumstances were more than anyone could deal with. She relaxes into Neils arms and allows herself to feel safe and for the first time in a while not so alone.
"You're in love with her aren't you?." Neil says not releasing his friend from the hug.
"Yeah. " Tilly replies in a moment of weakness. suddenly she pulls away regaining her willpower "But don't tell her Neil; She doesn't feel the same." she adds stress spreading across her face.
"She must do Tils. She's risking a lot for you." Neil retorts. Tilly stares at him and realises he is probably right; 'I just hope its enough' she replies to herself.
Jen and Tilly had bumped into each other after the interview; the school had phoned whilst they were still together. A sadness gripped them as the news came back negative but neither of the women spoke about the resulting consequence.
Jen felt defeated and complained to her younger lover about coming back to England; after the freedom she had felt traveling before her placement. Society wanted to fit her into an adult mode but Jen feared she would never belong in it. Tilly could see the teacher was in turmoil and for a change not about their relationship; in a way the affair with her was the closest truth to Jen's personality. She believed the brunette was a seriously talented teacher, however, a true artist is as easily tamed as the wind.
They both sit in silence with their backs against the stone wall. Tilly's attempts to cheer up her lover with optimism had not worked.
"Can you afford tonight?" Tilly ask Jen finally focusing on the realisation that the older woman is jobless
"Yeah but now I'm broke." Jen says with a giggle.
"I'll pay, ok. Don't say no, I want to contribute." Tilly says and risks placing her hand on Jens, even tho they are not totally hidden from the public, Jen does not move away. She does not want too and to be honest right now she wants to rebel anyway. "and then we can both be broke together." Tilly adds laughing.
"Well they say the best things in life as free." Jen replies her mood being lightened by the banter and distraction from the world; Tilly always had a way of making her forget about everything else."Come on lets go back there now, lets go hide away from everyone in our room. I paid this morning, so we might as well make the most of it. We can use your money to order in room service and wine. lets go out with a bang before we sink into poverty." Jen jokes. She stands and takes Tilly's hand, pulling her along behind her.
"I haven't got my bag, I took it home to re-pack something clean to wear." Tilly says giggling, as she is pulled up by Jen.
"Don't worry..." Jen replies pulling the teen into a very public embrace and kissing Tilly passionately; the brunette is feeling fearless due to anger at her social constraints. "...you wont be needing any clothes." She adds with a big grin.