Hello my dears! A little late, please forgive. Wrapping up things with my students as they finish their finals.
This chapter grew and grew… and well, it's a little angsty I guess. We'll get through this and put Dr. Creepy behind us, shall we?
Passenger Seat- Death Cab for Cutie
~~oo~~
Chapter 66: Death seemed….too easy.
BPOV
Edward.
His beautiful green eyes looking down at me.
Concerned.
Lips moving.
But I couldn't hear him.
Edward.
Edward.
"Edward!" I cried out, my eyes opening to the sight of grey.
And rain and muted green.
My head hurt, but the cold glass I leaned against helped the pain. I blinked to try and gather my surroundings.
Everything came back to me in a rush, as if I had never been unconscious.
The rain.
The chase.
The truck barrelling down on us.
Where was Dr. Creepy?
I panicked for a moment, the seat belt hard to unlatch with my cold fingers and pressure of my body against it. It finally gave, forcing me forward into the wheel because of the steep angle of the truck.
I shifted carefully, not sure if I was injured and just high on adrenaline.
I felt sore, my forehead hurt, but I could move with relative ease. And thankfully, I couldn't see any blood.
I was alive.
How I didn't know.
How long had I been out?
Only minutes?
Hours?
It was still light out, but the rain was steady, making it hard to see, even though one windshield wiper valiantly tried to do its job over the half intact windshield. It could do little bent half back on itself though.
I needed to get out.
Where was my phone?
I looked for my bag, only to realize it must have disappeared out the windshield that lay shattered everywhere from the impact. Was it like that before I had passed out?
I scrambled towards the door, hearing the truck creak and groan with my movement.
Nothing like last night, this groan was like the last throes of an animal beaten to its last breath.
My truck.
My poor truck.
I fought to get the door open but the branches of the trees that had stopped me held it tight.
Nothing to do but gingerly crawl through the window.
I tumbled out, surprised I hadn't cut myself on the glass.
Looking at my truck from outside, I knew it was done for.
Tires caved in, the front hood crumpled on the corner where an immense tree had blocked it.
It had done its job. My faithful truck had been my wrapper.
It was wrapped around the tree instead of me.
I felt the bruising on my hips from the seat belt as I sat there looking at the truck carcass.
I knew if I hadn't worn it, I'd be dead.
But I wasn't.
And I needed to get home.
Call.
Find help.
Anything that would get me back to Edward.
Let him know, I was all right.
So I stood, ignored the soreness, ignored the rain.
I looked for my backpack, but with the rain and the debris, it was too hard to find.
I'd have to figure something else out. Find someone on the road. There must be someone there to help?
So I slowly made my way up the scarred swath that had been our destructive path off the road.
My truck had made quite a path.
Surely someone on the road should have found me by now?
How long was I out?
What had happened to the logging truck?
Or Dr. Cullen?
I clawed my way up the path, my hands sticky from the sap of the broken branches I grabbed onto, my clothes muddy from slipping one too many times.
I couldn't hike on a good day.
And this most certainly was far from good.
The trees and debris thinned, the path less vertical as the road came into view.
Where I was met with quiet.
Eerie quiet.
Where was everyone?
How long was I out?
And then I saw it.
The skid marks.
The broken bits of headlights.
And then the smoke a hundred feet or so back the way we had come.
And then a noise.
A moan.
A call for help. Muffled in the trees ahead.
So eerily quiet.
Save for a man's voice.
Calling.
Help.
Walk away?
Or help?
What did I do?
The rain beat down a little harder.
Chilling me.
Walk for help?
Or ….
The voice again, more panicked decided it for me.
Against the fear in my head that I was walking towards a trap, stumbled towards the smoke.
The voice was clearer as I crossed the road and started towards the edge of the pavement where the marks continued before disappearing into the brush.
My heart sped up as I looked over the side and took in the scene below.
A large brown scar cut into the brush where the big logging truck must have crashed through and down the same steep embankment I had careened down. But he was larger and did more damage as the truck and the trailer full of logs had tumbled. The logs had come loose from their bindings on the trailer, scattered everywhere, a concentration of them piled up in what appeared to be a messy mound of giant pick up sticks. It seemed that pile was the only thing keeping the entire truck from sliding down the hill.
The smoke I had seen lazily rose from somewhere in the center of the pile. The rain was falling a little harder once more, dissolving the smoke slowly. Whatever was burning under the logs was being extinguished by the water. But I could see red beneath, like lights.
I felt a chill run through me and I looked around again, at the trail of debris and at what was missing.
The black Mercedes was no where to be found.
I searched the road left and right with my eyes.
These were the only tracks that led to anything. And some of the broken glass on the road looked high end.
Oh my god.
I stepped gingerly towards the brush, afraid at any moment that Dr. Creepy would pop out and grab at me, like they do in those scary movies.
The bad guy never truly died.
They always popped up when you least expected it.
"Anyone out there!"
I startled at the sound of a man's voice.
For an instant I thought it was him.
"Anyone?"
From the cab of the big rig.
The truck driver.
I made my way carefully towards the truck, the path slippery from the upturned ground and hard rain.
"Hello?"
"I'm here!" I called out. "I'm coming to you!"
As soon as I called out, my feet slipped and I found myself sliding down the hill towards the pile of logs. I cried out, feeling the branches and rocks scraping my legs as I slid. I grabbed at anything to slow me down, knowing if I didn't I would run into the trailer where it attached to the truck. The ground levelled out slightly before I hit, slowing my descent. My feet slid just a few feet from where the first tumbled log lay.
I groaned and slowly moved to get up, my clothes now soaked through and heavy with mud. When I found enough purchase to stand I paused and looked back down towards the pile and those red lights, mere feet from me now.
It was clear from here what was there.
Black. Sleek. And crushed.
I could see glass and bent metal where the trailer had trapped the car, a good portion of the front end buried under the weight.
The windshield peeked out from the connection between the trailer and the car. Crushed and exposing everything inside.
I choked at the sight.
A shock of blonde.
A lot of red.
No movement.
I stood stock still, trying to determine if that was really true.
I was close enough that I could see the blood as it slid down Dr. Cullen's neck.
I should be able to see movement.
None.
Eyes closed.
Head at an awkward angle.
I felt nauseas.
I was never good with blood.
But this was so much more.
How should I feel?
Glee?
Terror?
Anger?
"Are you out there?"
The voice of the trucker pulled me out of my swimming thoughts.
I had to focus on what I could do, not on what was beyond me.
The trucker might have a CB. We could call for help.
Maybe Dr. Cullen was alive.
Maybe someone could save him.
I turned from the wreckage towards the truck, my mind pushing away my conflicting feelings about the man who had hurt Edward being saved.
He was still Edward's dad.
After it all.
Save what could be saved.
Deal with the rest later.
I reached the front of the truck, lying on its side and making it difficult to save anyone with the door on the top.
"I'm here!" I called. "Are you all right?"
"I'm stuck, and I think I broke my arm," he replied. "You're alone?"
I looked back once more towards Dr. Cullen.
I was.
"It's just you and me. We need to call for help."
"I tried to get to my radio," he called. "I can't reach the transmitter where I'm at."
I swallowed and moved towards the front of the truck. The windshield was cracked, but secure. I'd have to climb up to see what I could do.
"I'm coming up," I called and moved to grab onto anything that could help me.
I struggled, my arms and legs aching from the impact and climbing.
The adrenaline was wearing off and the cold was starting to hurt.
But as soon as I pulled one leg over the door of the truck, sitting astride the tipped vehicle, I got a burst of new adrenaline when the truck shifted slightly.
The driver and I both let out a cry.
The truck settled quickly, the pile and the Mercedes seeming to hold us in place.
What did that mean for Dr. Cullen?
"You have to move slowly," the man said in the cab.
I looked down to find an older man at the bottom of the cab, what would have been the passenger side. He looked like he had tumbled around in the cab, as if he had not been wearing his seatbelt. His rough looking face was only made rougher by the cuts and bruises mixed in around his greying beard. His left arm was most definitely broken.
I was going to pass out if I looked too long.
"Climb down slow," he said, his voice gravelly and full of pain.
I did as he said, breathing heavily by the time I had wedged myself between the stick shift and the separation between the two seats, essentially standing over the driver.
"The radio is there," he said and nodded towards the dash, grimacing as he did so.
"Can you move at all?" I asked as I leaned carefully towards the dash and grabbed the hand piece to the CB.
He shook his head and looked down at his legs. I saw then that his right leg looked wedged under the seat. He almost looked bent in two.
"Channel 8," he said. "That's the loggers band. Everyone should hear you on that."
I fiddled with the knobs until the radio read channel eight and started calling out for help.
I had heard Charlie on the radio enough to know when to listen and when to talk. It was almost immediate that someone answered.
"Do you know where you ran off the road, miss?" the voice asked.
I looked at the driver.
He grimaced and shifted slightly.
"I think around marker 15," he hissed. "Tell them the straight away."
I relayed the info, the person on the other side telling us help was on the way.
I wondered suddenly if it would be Charlie that got the call.
He wouldn't know it was me until he got here.
Then he'd freak out.
"I need to get out of this," the man said, trying to move again.
We heard the truck creak slightly and we both froze.
How long before it slid?
I looked down at the man and he seemed to be thinking the same thing.
"I've got a crow bar in here somewhere," he was saying. Looking around briefly we finally found it buried behind the seats.
"I don't want to move to much," I said, beginning to grow more and more frightened of going down the hill to my death.
Edward.
I held my breath to keep from crying.
The idea I might never see Edward again was enough to make me want to climb out again.
But the man was stuck.
And this hadn't been his fault.
I took a deep breath and focused on him.
Help was on the way.
We just needed to get through the next little bit.
I eased myself inch by inch down to where he was at, doing as he instructed to slowly pry the seat up a little so that we could release his leg trapped underneath. It was stop and start for several minutes, listening to the truck settling, praying it didn't move and then moving very slowly before stopping again.
It felt like we had been at it for an hour when he was finally able to free himself.
"We did it," I said, sighing in relief.
"We still need to climb out," he said, crying out in pain when he adjusted his leg. His face looked ashen, and he was starting to sweat.
"You need to stop moving," I said and adjusted to give him room. "You're going into shock."
He looked up at me with slightly glazed eyes and nodded.
"I feel weird. The pain in my leg is more," he muttered, and swallowed thickly.
I was beginning to wonder if I had perhaps not done the right thing in releasing him. I could have opened up a pinched artery somewhere and he was bleeding internally now.
Stupid.
First rule, don't move the injured.
"You should get out of here, kid," he mumbled, wiggling his good hand towards the door above us.
"I can't leave you," I said.
My conscience wouldn't allow it.
His injuries were not his fault.
Not mine either really.
"Go on. Help is on the way," he whispered, his eyes getting dull.
"You need to stay awake. You need to," I said hurriedly.
"Bella!"
I froze.
Had I just heard my name?
"BELLA!"
"Bella!"
My breath caught at the voices.
"Edward?" I called out, unsure if my ears were just playing tricks.
That my own shock was settling in.
"Bella!"
Another voice. Closer. Charlie.
"Dad! I'm here!" I called out and climbed up enough to push my hand out of the door so they could see where we were.
I heard both of their voices now, calling my name.
I was in shock.
I had to be.
"Dad? Edward?" I called out again.
"We're right here Bells! Stay still, we'll get you out!"
I heaved a sigh of relief and relaxed carefully, listening for them as they approached.
Edward called out again, sounding so worried.
"I'm okay!" I called again. "The driver is hurt! I can't move him!"
I looked down at the driver, whose eyes were half closed now, nearly unconscious. We had to move quickly.
I saw the movement before I heard them in front of the truck, a hand wiping away the mud on the windshield.
As soon as I saw Edward, I knew I was all right.
I relayed what was wrong with the driver, my eyes never leaving Edward as he and Charlie worked to pry away the windshield. I could only smile at them as the windshield slowly gave way.
Charlie helped me out, and immediately handed me off to Edward.
Into his warm arms.
It was the sound of the trailer groaning that pushed Charlie into action.
He ordered Edward to get me to safety. And then I was moving back up the hill, with Edward there to protect me and keep me from falling.
I was so tired all the sudden.
And I ached everywhere.
"I thought 'd never see you again," I whispered as he pulled me close.
He felt so good.
Safe.
Protecting.
Edward.
"I can't believe Tanya," he spat out over my head.
"How did you know about that?" I asked against him.
He looked tired and pained.
"We called Jasper, we were worried," he replied.
Poor Jasper.
He'd be a mess I was sure.
So many people.
So much pain and conflict.
Was it over now?
I couldn't think about that. My head was a little fuzzy now and Edward felt too good against me. Warm and safe.
He tipped my head up and kissed me gingerly.
I could only imagine how I looked If it was anywhere close to how I felt, it was bad.
His kiss deepened, and I was lost in words and lips and the feeling that this could have been gone in an instant.
"You all right, Bells?"
I pulled away from Edward to feel my dad's arm wrap around me tight.
He had made it out of the truck with the driver.
My dad was a hero.
"Just scraped up. The truck took the brunt of it," I replied, trying to play off my injuries.
I wasn't that bad.
"How did you get out, Bella?" Edward asked.
Both of them were looking down towards the pile, and underneath, where the brake lights seemed much more obscured.
Dr. Cullen.
"I crashed about a 100 yards back down the road. On the other side," I said, thinking about how lucky I had been that I hadn't gone down with this mess.
That could have been me down there.
"That's not your truck?"
I shook my head and looked up at him, finding it hard to put feelings to what I had to say.
Dr. Cullen was a bad man.
But still, he was Edward's father.
However twisted he was, he was still that.
What would Edward's reaction be?
What was mine?
"No, it's your father's car," I said, my voice quiet.
He looked from me to the pile for a second, his grip tightening on me as if in turmoil.
I could see it in his eyes.
Every emotion.
Terror.
Rage.
Pain.
Confusion.
I felt him pulling away, as if he might move to go down there.
"You can't help him," I whispered.
He looked down at me with wild eyes.
"Is he?" he croaked, afraid to say the last word.
"I… I don't know," I whispered and held onto him a little harder. "It was too dangerous to try and go down there."
He looked back down again, conflicted.
"So he could still be…"
"I don't know, Edward."
He took a step towards the edge.
"I need to…"
"It's too dangerous, Edward," I said in a rush and pulled at him, to bring him back to me. "It can go anytime. It's been shifting since I got here."
"She's right, Edward," my dad said behind us. "We've got fire crews and an ambulance on the way. We'll figure out how to get your father out."
"But I," he stammered, his words cutting off as he pulled me closer, his mouth against the top of my head.
"He did this, didn't he?" he whispered.
I couldn't see his face, he had pulled me against him, but I could feel him shaking.
"Bells, let's get you over to the car," Charlie said and nudged us a little to get us moving. "We can talk in the warmth."
Edward pulled me along, his head still turned toward the debris as we walked.
With the truck driver in the police cruiser, Edward steered me towards his car across the road.
"I'm muddy," I argued, not wanting to get his car filthy.
"I couldn't care less about my car, Bella," he said, his voice terse.
I had never heard him so forceful.
He let out a long breath and opened the door for me.
"You're far more important than some car," he added, his voice back to the soft tone I knew.
He and Charlie helped me into the passenger seat, my body much stiffer than I realized. I was definitely coming down from the rush. I closed my eyes briefly while Edward and Charlie murmured just outside, Charlie's voice growing loud enough that I reopened my eyes to see what was going on. Edward was pointing back towards the wreck, whereas Charlie was motioning to me.
Charlie caught my eye and he offered me a gentle smile before opening up the door and leaning in.
"Edward is going to take you to the hospital, Bells," he said and put up his hand when I made to object. "You need to get looked at, even if you think you're okay. I'll come in with the truck driver when the ambulance has him squared away."
"I'm really okay, Dad," I said, even though I could feel every part of me rebelling consciousness.
"Then you'll get out that much faster. Drive carefully, Edward," he replied, his eyes searching out Edward's before Edward slipped into the seat. Charlie nodded to me and closed the door once Edward was settled.
I looked at Edward, whose hands were gripping the steering wheel tight. His eyes locked on his hands and he sat tense in his seat.
"I'm sorry, Edward," I whispered.
He blinked and turned his head towards me, his eyes still troubled.
"You don't have any reason to be sorry, Bella," he said quietly. "I should be apologizing to you. Every time. Every interference in your life has been because of me."
"Not you," I corrected. "Just events surrounding you. And if that was an issue, I would have run a long time ago, Edward."
"He's dead down there, isn't he," he murmured, turning back towards the wreck.
"I couldn't see," I replied, leaning in to touch his hand that had turned white knuckled on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry. I couldn't get close."
He shook his head and swallowed thickly.
"I wouldn't have wanted you to," he whispered. "You don't have to tell me what happened, Charlie told me what the driver said. And you certainly don't have to apologize about my dad. He made his own bed. Now he's lying in it."
He started up the car, and pulled out without another word.
My dad watched us for a moment as we drove away, and then turned back towards the wreckage just as the fire trucks arrived. I knew Charlie was trying to get us both out of the way before they recovered the body.
It would only be more difficult to deal with if we stayed and watched.
For all of Dr. Cullen's faults, I wasn't sure I could wish death on him.
Many, many years of jail time with a roomie named Bubba, yes.
But death seemed….
Too easy.
It disturbed me that I would think like that about Edward's father.
Edward had to be hurting.
He had to be upset about losing his dad.
Would he blame me?
With everything that had happened, and Edward's mood, I thought that perhaps he might.
I watched him as he drove, much slower than he usually did, even with the rain letting up. He didn't turn to glance at me, only concentrated on the road ahead, jaw clenched and eyes searing through the windshield.
He was upset and there was nothing I could do.
I could only watch.
And hurt.
Because I couldn't find any sympathy for Dr. Carlisle Cullen.
And now I felt responsible for Edward losing his lousy father.
When would this all stop?
When would things be better?
"You need to stay awake, Bella. We're almost there," Edward said, jogging my brain back to watching him.
His jaw was still tense, but his eyes were more concerned than outraged.
"I'm awake," I murmured, adjusting in my seat with a groan. "I'm really not so bad."
He grunted and glanced at me as we stopped at the stop light in town. His eyes roamed from my head and down, grimacing as they travelled.
I'm sure I looked like hell.
Dirty and my clothing torn from the branches.
But I was fine.
"We're almost there," he mumbled and turned back to the road, reaching out one hand to find mine. He laid it in his lap and I enjoyed taking comfort in his warmth.
I was cold.
Probably from the wet clothes and not shock.
It still worried him when he noticed I was shivering. He pulled his hand away from mine to turn up the heat to full.
"Stay awake, Bella," he said again, rubbing at my hand to keep me alert.
I nodded groggily and tried to keep my eyes open.
All too soon, we were pulling in to the parking lot of the hospital. Edward leapt out of the car to come around to help me out, his arms cradling me carefully until I could get my legs beneath me.
I was fine.
He was worrying too much.
Which only grew worse when the nurse told him he had to wait in the waiting room.
I looked back at him and tried to smile, but it was hard, knowing how emotional he had to be.
We disappeared into the exam room, the nurse asking if I was all right to change into the hospital gown.
"Honestly, I am much better than I look," I replied, easing my muddy shoes off and trying not to groan at how my legs ached.
"We'll see once we get some of the mud off you," she retorted and left the room to let me change.
Peeling away my clothes made me realize that I was a little more bruised and bumped up than I had thought. But I reminded myself, it could have been much, much worse.
A knock on the door and the nurse was back along with a doctor, a young woman whom I had seen come into the bakery once or twice. She looked up from her patient record and her eyes widened slightly.
"Chief Swan's girl," she said, I assume to the nurse. "Vehicle accident?"
Both the nurse and I nodded.
"All right, let's get you looked over and patched up," she said and soon the nurse and the doctor were working to get me cleaned up, examining the cuts and scrapes along my body from my fall, and finally to my head where the skin was tender by my hairline.
The doctor finally pulled away and nodded, offering me a kind smile.
"Nothing broken, which is good. But you're going to be sore for a while," she summarized.
Like I had said.
"Your bump on your head is going to bruise up some more, but there are no signs of a concussion. But you should take it easy for a few days. I can give you some pain medicine if you like," she continued.
"Sure, I guess so," I replied and sat up from the table. "So I can go home?"
She smiled again.
"I don't think you want to go home in those clothes. Is there someone waiting for you in the waiting room?" she asked.
I frowned and nodded.
"Edward Cullen," I said and watched as her eyebrow rose. "But he doesn't have any clothes for me, I'm sure. I can just wear these."
I reached for my clothes just as there was a knock on the door.
"One moment," the doctor said to me and turned to the door.
"These are for Bella."
I leaned to see who was at the door, surprised to see Alice Whitlock there. She nodded to me.
"They may be a little short in the pants, but I had them handy," she said and stepped inside.
She handed me what looked like really nice workout gear and rubbed my back soothingly.
"Edward called me. He was a little distraught," she explained.
"I'm sorry," I replied. "Can you please let Jasper know I'm okay?"
She chuckled and nodded.
"You can tell him yourself. He's in the waiting room keeping Edward from busting through here," she replied.
I nodded and moved to stand.
"I'll walk you out when you're ready," Alice said and walked out with the doctor and the nurse, leaving me to change.
As soon as I opened the door, I saw Alice had indeed waited.
"Are you all right?" she asked, turning me towards the lobby.
I shrugged.
"I guess. How's Edward holding up?" I asked.
"He's upset, but I think he'll be better as soon as he sees you. I'd expect he'll be a little clingy for a while. Be patient," she replied.
I nodded and let out a long breath.
"I feel bad, not being able to comfort him," I said, looking at her and her confused expression.
"Because of what happened?"
"Because of his dad," I replied.
"What about his dad?" she asked, her eyes growing a little steely.
I stopped before we went through the door leading out to the lobby and turned to her.
"He's still at the crash site," I replied, looking down. "I couldn't tell Edward whether he was alive or not."
"Oh," she said, taking a deep breath. "I didn't know. He was with you?"
"No, he followed me. Tried running me off the road," I said, and detailed briefly what had happened. And how I had possibly killed his father.
I felt her hands on my shoulder grip me lightly, drawing my gaze back to hers.
"Bella, this wasn't your fault. And more, it wasn't Edward's either. Both of you are going to feel some measure of responsibility for this, and you shouldn't. Dr. Cullen brought this on himself. I can understand both of you being upset that he is still there, and not knowing," she said.
I looked down again and sighed.
"That's the thing," I said. "I don't really feel anything."
"Oh," she said, clearly surprised. "Well, I can understand that too. Look, Bella. You both need to just worry about getting home and resting. I am sure your feelings are part of the shock of it all."
I simply nodded.
I didn't really want to explain this further.
I was tired and Edward was worried.
The sooner I got home, the better.
"Call me, maybe next week late. I would love to talk with you. Talk with you both," she said and leaned in to hug me.
I turned from her and led the way out to the lobby. Upon seeing me, Jasper and Edward were on their feet and rushing towards us.
"Bella," Jasper said, holding me carefully between the shoulders and wincing as if it had been he that was in the crash. "I am so sorry. I didn't know."
"It's okay, Jasper. I know you didn't know. I'm all right, really," I said, trying to put him at ease.
"I should have never," he said and clenched his jaw closed, turning towards Alice as if for guidance.
"I think," she said, coming to stand next to me, "that we should let Bella get home and get some rest. Things will be much better with a little rest."
Jasper nodded and slowly released me, allowing Edward to pull me towards him, his tense stance relaxing as soon as he was touching me again.
We said our goodbyes to the Whitlocks and once again, I was in Edward's car, safely tucked into the seat as he pulled out carefully. We were quiet in the car, my feelings running rampant in my head, while he remained stiff as he drove.
What did I say?
What could I say?
We pulled up to my house in silence, Edward parking in the driveway so that I didn't have far to walk. I thanked him quietly as he helped me up the stairs. But every second he was quiet, I was unravelling.
I didn't want him to blame me.
I wanted him to grieve.
Or to scream in anger.
Or cry.
Something.
But instead he was quiet and tense.
The only emotion I could see was worry. For me.
We stepped inside to the warm house and I leaned against him, so incredibly tired.
Without a word, he picked me up and held me close as he walked up the steps, taking me to the bathroom. He held me until he could feel me standing on my own and then made himself busy turning on the water.
"Do you need me to?" he asked, touching the hem of my shirt tentatively.
I shook my head and looked down.
I didn't want him to see all the bruises and cuts.
"I'll go get you some clothes then," he whispered and retreated out of the door, leaving me to strip and step into the shower.
I heard him a moment later, opening the door and in the shadow of the curtain I watched him bend over to leave my clothes on the bench before disappearing through the door again.
I washed slowly, trying to come to terms with the heaviness I was feeling inside me.
I couldn't describe why I was feeling it.
But I felt out of control and sad and fearful. Overwhelmed now that I was in the safety of my home.
Safe.
From Edward's father.
From Edward's ex-lover.
I was safe and yet I still felt the lingering fear of the crash, and could still see Dr. Cullen in his car.
Yet my feelings had nothing to do with him there.
It was so much to deal with.
I needed to pull myself together before I got out of the shower.
I needed to be strong for Edward.
For me.
Maybe it was the shock.
Because I found myself crying against the wall of the shower. I don't know what for. Just the culmination of the day.
I wasn't crying for Dr. Cullen.
Maybe I was crying for Edward.
Or maybe I was just crying because it felt good to get it all out.
Because it did feel good. My emotions were a mess.
I heard the door open again, and I wiped at my face. It was ridiculous, my face was already wet.
"Bella?" Edward called from the other side of the curtain. His hand was touching the curtain, as if he meant to pull it back.
"I'm okay," I said, cringing at how rough my voice was.
"You're crying."
"No."
He sighed and I could see him lower his head in the shadow.
"I'm ready to get out," I announced, hoping he would give me just a couple more minutes.
But he remained there by the curtain.
"I'm not leaving," he said finally. "I can dry you off."
"I don't want you to see me, Edward," I replied, covering myself awkwardly.
He sighed again and nodded before I saw him step away.
"I'll close my eyes then," he said.
I wasn't going to win.
"Edward," I said, exasperated.
"I'm not leaving you again," he replied.
I turned and shut off the water, throwing back the curtain to find him with his hands outstretched with a towel, his eyes shut.
I smiled at his effort.
I took the towel from his fingertips and wrapped them around my torso, touching his cheek when I was done. He opened his eyes and looked down at me sadly, one hand coming up to wipe at my cheek gently.
"Please don't cry," he whispered.
"I'm sorry," I whispered back, leaning into him so he could hold me. "I just needed to."
"Okay. But I'm here now. We're together. I promise it will be better," he whispered.
I stood in his arms for a while before he finally cleared his throat and took a step back.
"I promised your father that I would take care of you. We should get you changed and in bed," he murmured.
I nodded and was relieved when he stepped out to let me change.
I found him a minute later in my bedroom, the blankets already turned down for me.
I smiled and slowly slid into bed, happy to be there finally.
I was comforted when he slid in beside me.
No asking.
He just knew.
I needed his comfort. And he was there for me.
I wrapped my arm around his chest and buried my face in close to his shoulder. I really needed this.
Like he had said I grounded him, I knew he did the same for me.
"Your dad said he'd call when he got to the hospital with my dad," he said into the darkness.
"I thought he was going with the driver?" I asked.
Edward sighed and stroked at my arm absently.
"He decided to stay," he whispered. "He told me he'd stay until the got him out."
"I wanted to help him, Edward," I said, moving to see him, but he held me to him.
"I didn't."
"What do you mean, you didn't?" I asked and this time I was able to move until I saw his face.
I was a mixture of pain and anger once more.
"I didn't want to save him, Bella," he said, his eyes finding me at the last. "I know I should have, but I didn't."
I relaxed back into him, my arms holding him a little harder.
"It's okay," I whispered.
"I should be upset," he said. "Or sad. But I'm not. Not about him. I'm just upset that he almost took you from me."
"He couldn't ever do that," I said.
"No. But he tried," he said, his chest rising and falling a little harder. "I'm not upset that he can't do that anymore."
"We don't know if he's dead or not," I said.
"Doesn't matter, he won't ever be free to do anything again," he said and I could hear the determination in his voice.
We were quiet for a time, my eyes growing heavy.
"Get some sleep, Bella," he whispered and I felt his lips brush across my hair.
"Don't leave, okay?"
"I'm never leaving you again. Get some rest, Bella," he replied and held me a little closer.
It was quiet again, Edward's hearbeat the only sound in my ear.
"Edward?"
"Yes?"
"I didn't feel anything when I saw him. Only that you might be upset to lose him," I murmured. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not, Bella," he replied. "Maybe we'll feel something tomorrow when we know."
"Maybe," I replied and felt him relax under me.
"I'm not sorry," he whispered and held me tight. "I'm not sorry. I have you, and that's what matters."
I lay there against him, pretending to be asleep until I heard my dad come in.
It was late.
I heard his footsteps on the stairs, heard him step towards my door. Edward shifted, his body slowly sliding out of the bed.
"Did you get him out?" Edward whispered.
My dad didn't say anything, I assumed he nodded when I heard Edward let out a breath.
"And?" he asked quietly.
Charlie cleared his throat quietly and let out a long sigh.
"He's gone, son," he said. "I'm sorry. There wasn't anything that could be done."
Edward was quiet a moment as he took in the information.
"I'd like to stay here, with Bella. If that's okay," Edward requested.
Charlie shifted his feet, making the floorboards squeak.
"That's fine," he replied, much to my surprise. "Esme asked if you might be able to stay. She's at the hospital."
Oh.
"Thank you, sir."
I heard the door close, and Edward's body come back to slide in against me, holding me close.
I wrapped my arm around his and squeezed him tight, hearing him let out a soft breath.
"That's it," he said into my hair.
"We'll go together to go take care of Esme, okay?" I asked.
"Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow."
I felt him relax against me and I drifted off, feeling safer than I had in a long while.
We'd be all right.
Edward and I.
We had each other.
No one could take that from us.
Not anyone.
~~oo~~
AN: I didn't think this chapter would get this long… But they both have to work out what they are feeling about Dr. Creepy.
A lot of people wanted him to end up in jail. To pay for his sins.
But I'd like Bella and Edward to move forward, without the idea of him lingering somewhere. Karma's a bitch, Carlisle. Rest in Peace. Edward and Bella are already moving on. That's the last of the drama. (yes, I'll touch on Tanya next chapter, but I don't expect to bring her back…ever again)
More soon.
Better times to come!
MWAH!
steph