Title:Undisclosed Desires
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17 for this chapter
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt/Blaine, in all combinations.
Chapter: 17/?
Word Count: 2110
Spoilers: Let's say everything to be safe :)
Summary/Warnings: From a tumblr prompt. Blaine and Kurt are both having secret affairs with Finn while trying to keep their own relationship from falling apart. But not everything is as simple as it seems, and nothing can stay secret for long.

Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish it were, but if it were Glee would devolve into some giant orgy and that would be horribly unproductive in the end…

Undisclosed Desires

Chapter Seventeen

Kurt wakes up feeling more content than he has in a long time, wrapped up in Finn's arms and staring at Blaine, his sleep-tousled curls spilling over his forehead and Kurt strokes them back instinctively, feeling warmth bloom in his heart.

He's all but forgiven Blaine…yes, what the other man did was stupid and rash, but Kurt would have agreed to everything quickly regardless and it's just…far too much work to be angry with either of them. He still has some issues with the fact that Blaine and Finn seem to have some strange relationship that he can't break into, and it scares him that Blaine basically told him that he couldn't give him anything he wasn't getting from Finn and more, but he's trying to not think about that because right now he's warm and comfortable and in the arms of the two men he loves the most.

"You awake?" Finn's voice is a low rumble in his ear, his arms tightening around Kurt's waist as Kurt sighs and nuzzles back against him. "That's a yeah?"

"That's a yeah," Kurt affirms, smiling as Finn kisses his cheek. It should be perfect but he can't stop the anxiety roiling through him, making him wonder what exactly is going on.

He has to talk to Finn, he decides. He has to know what he does to Blaine, how he treats him, because it's something Blaine seems to need and Kurt has to figure out how he can give that to him.

Maybe then he'll feel more secure about everything.

"He looks so peaceful," Finn whispers, warm breath ghosting over his ear, and Kurt has to agree. Blaine's been tired lately, drawn and worn and so unlike the carefree, smiling boy he'd been when Kurt had met him.

"He does," Kurt voices, continuing to stroke Blaine's hair away from his forehead, and Blaine sighs and nuzzles further into his pillow at the action.

"Mm," Finn kisses the side of Kurt's neck and Kurt leans into the action instinctively.

"Finn?"

"Yeah, dude?" Finn keeps kissing the same spot, dragging his tongue along the sensitive flesh as Kurt arches and moans under his care.

"Can we…Blaine's working closing tonight, so can we…I want you to show me…what you do with him. So I can see. What he's…what I can't give him," he voices, the words sounding stilted and odd but it's hard to talk when Finn's doing that, sucking on the column of his throat and utterly distracting him from his thoughts.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Finn finally whispered, the words barely breathed against his skin, and Kurt stiffens a little. "No, that's not…it's not that I don't want to, Kurt, but I don't know if it would help…"

"Can I decide that?" Kurt asks hesitantly and Finn kisses his shoulder in response. "I'm a lot tougher than you give me credit for, Finn."

"I know you are. You're, like, super-tough, dude," he laughs. "But okay. We can…we can try tonight. Does that work?"

Kurt nods in response and is about to say more when Blaine yawns and blinks bleary hazel eyes open, smiling at Kurt and reaching to touch his cheek gently.

"Morning, babe," he says quietly and Blaine smiles at him before leaning in for a kiss, Kurt sighing against his lips before drawing back. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah," Blaine nods, the smile not leaving his mouth as he stares at Kurt, warmth in his gaze and he reaches to run his thumb over Kurt's cheekbone before dropping his hand. "Morning, Finn."

"Hey, dude," Finn sounds amused and Blaine reaches over Kurt to pat the other man's shoulder, completely unhurried and comfortable and Kurt marvels again that they've come to this, lying in the same bed like they've always done it, and it feels more right than ever.

"When do you work? I know it's late, but…" Kurt asks and Blaine laughs and winks at the two of them, obviously clueing into what they'll be up to while he's gone and Kurt has the decency to blush at that.

"Late. I close, so I won't be back until after eleven. You've got plenty of time," he assures them, and his smile is still firmly in place although it looks a little strained, his eyes narrowed a little bit, and Kurt knows they're all not nearly as okay as they're pretending to be.

But of course, that's to be expected at this point.

He's going to be jealous of Blaine and Finn because, for whatever reason, they seem to get something from each other that they can't get from him; Blaine's seemingly nervous about Kurt and Finn because of their shared history and their past relationship, and Finn's always going to feel like a third wheel and that he's not truly important to either of them.

He thinks they're all probably worrying too much but right now he barely knows how to assuage his own worries, much less Blaine and Finn's.

Well.

Maybe, at least, he'll get a start tonight if everything goes according to plan.

…He really hopes it does.

000

"Okay," he claps his hands, seated naked on the bed as Finn enters the room and bites his lip, glancing everywhere but at Kurt. "Finn. You're acting like we've never done this before."

"Because we haven't done this before!" Finn protests but Kurt sighs and beckons him over, reaching to hook an arm around the back of his neck and pulling him down into a rather dirty kiss. "Mm. Okay."

"Treat me exactly like you treated him," Kurt commands, trying to keep his tone firm, and Finn's hands skim down his body before he nods and steps away, closing his eyes, and when he opens them there's something dark there, something that Kurt's not used to seeing directed at him and he gulps without meaning to even though he knows in his heart Finn will never hurt him.

"Okay. Turn over," Finn's voice is void of all emotion and Kurt complies, on his hands and knees and shaking a little. They've never done it this way, not with Blaine or with Finn, but Kurt can understand why Finn and Blaine would want to.

It's much less personal.

He whines a little as Finn's fingers probe at his entrance, forcing himself to relax and he's still fairly loose from his and Blaine's activities the night before so Finn slides in easily, prepping him without much care and Kurt can feel his breathing starting to speed up, although whether his nerves were fear or anticipation he couldn't tell.

Finn doesn't speak, one hand braced on Kurt's hip and his fingers sliding in and out rather clinically and the silence is odd, because he and Finn have always been comfortable enough to banter back and forth, no matter how intimate the situation should be.

He's not even hard, because this isn't erotic at all, and he braces his elbows and sighs, trying to conjure up images to help him get there although staring at Finn's drab bedcovers aren't really helping in that respect.

"Good?" Finn grunts, every trace of warmth gone from his voice, and Kurt nods without speaking as he feels Finn's hand clutch his shoulder

He can't stop the yelp that tears from his throat when Finn slams forward, rough and with a singular purpose, and his elbows slide on the bed a bit because he was not expecting that. Finn's hands clamp around his hips then as he starts to move, short, fast thrusts that leave no mystery in Kurt's mind as to what this was, and why Blaine had never come to him for it.

This isn't sex.

This is punishment.

And this is what Blaine had done to ease the guilt of drinking himself under the table every night, putting himself through this to feel worthless so that it made up for his other mistakes. It's terrifying, that he had been so low and Kurt hadn't known, hadn't seen how he was dying inside, and at the same time…

He skids forward again, gasping at the pain because he's pretty sure he's going to have friction burns on his elbows come morning and bruises on his hips from Finn's fingers gripping him so tightly, and suddenly it's too much.

This…whatever it is…isn't going to help him figure out their convoluted relationship at all, and he sobs out something that's probably supposed to be a 'stop' but he can't form the words.

Finn does, panting harshly, and Kurt whimpers as he shifts a little, knowing that he stopped it in time but it's still going to hurt a little tomorrow.

"You asked," Finn's voice sounds wrecked but not blank anymore, and there's a hoarseness to it that shows this whole thing was hurting him as much as it was hurting Kurt.

"God, Finn," Kurt's breath hitches and he gasps as Finn shifts, pulling Kurt back onto his lap and holding him steady, still inside of him but not moving in the slightest. "You…how could you…"

"I never hurt him," Finn promises. "I always made sure he was okay. He's tough for a little guy, y'know?" he grins and just like that he's back to goofy old Finn again, although this intense, completely humorless being that had existed mere moments before is going to take Kurt a long time to get out of his memory.

"I know why he never asked me for that. I could never…" Kurt realizes a moment later that his voice is shaking, so hard he can barely talk, and his entire body shudders as Finn curls around him and presses a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. "Finn, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"Now you know, though," Finn squeezes him gently. "And…um…I still wanna have sex with you, but can we…do it like we normally do? This is…I hate this, dude."

"So do I," Kurt says truthfully, stretching a bit as Finn slides out and lays him back, every touch gentle and personal and utterly Finn.

And when he slides home again, hovering over Kurt with so much emotion brimming in his dark eyes and pressing soft kisses to Kurt's cheeks and lips, he knows that he'll never ask for anything like that again.

Not when this is so perfect.

000

"You're sure you're okay?" Finn asks later and Kurt nods, wrapped in a bathrobe and holding a cup of warm milk as Finn lies down, head pillowed in Kurt's lap. "Dude, I'm sorry I scared you, I really hated doing that."

"I know," Kurt promises, one hand trailing through Finn's hair before he sighs and leans back against the headboard, his thoughts still swirling. "I'm just…I can't believe Blaine did that."

"What?"

"That he made you hurt him. That he wanted you to hurt him because it somehow made him feel better about drinking," he whispers, like he's still trying to work it out for himself, and Finn shrugs and stares up at him. "And that I didn't notice. How horrible of a boyfriend am I, Finn, that I didn't notice he was in so much pain?"

"He hid it," Finn said simply. "I wouldn't've known either if he hadn't have actually come to me after that first time and asked me to do that. I don't think he hated it as much as you did, though. I mean, he got off every time," he wrinkles his nose and Kurt has to chuckle at that.

"I was more shocked than anything," he admits and Finn looks guilty again, staring up at Kurt with an obvious apology in his eyes that Kurt waves off with a tiny smile. "It's fine, Finn. I know you'd never hurt me intentionally. But I definitely need to talk to Blaine, because what he was doing with you was not healthy."

"It's not like that anymore, though," Finn says quickly. "I mean, we don't love each other, but it's…it's not like that," he promises and Kurt nods, because he already knows.

He walked in on them once, after all.

"I know," he says aloud, just to make sure Finn understands, and Finn pushes himself upright and sets the mug of milk aside, drawing Kurt close and kissing him softly.

Kurt knows he has to talk to Blaine when he gets back from work, and it might not be a fun conversation…but it needs to happen.

Until then, however, he's content to lose himself in Finn's kisses, letting the safety and warmth he always feels with the other man surround him and vowing to forget entirely about the other events of the night.

It's for the best.

Notes:

1. Yes, slightly angsty, but not as bad as the other chapters, right?

2. I haven't gotten much feedback for the last couple of chapters, so if you're reading and enjoying this I'd really appreciate it if you took the time to leave me a comment! I try to reply to all of the ones that I get :)