Author note: The words in bold/italic belong to the show. I do not own them.
Jen's chapter Part 2 of 3
Jen wakes up half-clothed, half dead and half hanging of the sofa. "eeeew!" she announced to herself noting her dry sand paper mouth and attempting to sit up "owww." She states at the shooting pain in her head and promptly lies back down.
"You're really out of fucking practice, Lilly lightweight." Scoffs Ky; who is already up and swigging on a coffee in the arm-chair opposite. Jen slowly sits up and pulls the duvet over her body; her friend hands her a mug and smiles.
"Thanks" she says and grumbles at her hangover "well, I'm not a student anymore." She replies.
"Nah! You fuck them now." Ky responds. Jen grabs a cushion and throws it at her friends head, as they both laugh. "I'm only playing, Jenovive." She adds.
"I know" Jen answers knowing her friend cares beyond words for her. "It's been nice to joke about it for a change actually. A nice escape from the reality." 'A nice change from the pain and confusion' she adds but in her mind.
"What are you going to do?" the artist replies, this time in a serious question of concern.
"I don't know" Replies the teacher, in complete honesty. "If I take the Job, then we can't be together because it is illegal. If I don't take the job, I'll have to move away anyway, plus I would mostly likely have to wait a year to find another placement, this close to the school term or the positions are filled." She sighs. "I don't really care so much about me tho, I'll get by whatever." She looks into her hot mug and sips on the fluid; her mind swirling in thought of the teen again. "I don't think Tilly is going to understand my decision to accept the position" she says finally acknowledging that she has made her choice and is just merely delaying it as long as possible.
"What is so bad, about moving away?" Ky asks, knowing Jen loves to travel.
"I don't think I can live without her." Jen admits. "I know it sounds pathetic but I need to be near her. I know if I leave, we will never see each other, unless she comes with me but that would slowly destroy her...she is at a crucial age in her life where she needs her friends and family around to support her; plus her exams are essential for her dream. "She concludes.
"she need you too, tho" responds her black-haired friend.
"I know. That's why I'm staying at Hollyoaks College. I know it's twisted and backwards but it is actually the only way we can be together; admittedly not as lovers. All other scenarios end with Tilly messing up her future, me being arrested and destroying my career or us being apart." She answers in defence; she had spent days thinking it through.
"You're sacrificing yourself for her...aren't you?" Ky answers, seeing through Jen's convincing argument. "You're denying how you feel to her, so she can focus on herself without you distracting her from her future." She continues and smiles admiringly into Jen's darkened eyes. The brunette nods but does not reply. "Wow, you really fucking love her don't you?" Her friend continues. "You know she isn't going to understand and most probably hate you for this?" she adds.
Jen nods and fights back tears "I would rather get to see her every day from a distance...than lose her forever." She states, looking down as sadness beings to creep back into her body.
"You know...'from a distance'...is a lot easier in theory don't you?" ky asks more in a warning, to her friend, of the obvious emotion hurdles that Jen will have to face in her selfless pursuit.
"Yeah." Jen simply answers more than aware that it was her who had broken all the rules last time with her obvious lack of will power and clear inability to resist Tilly. "I guess the advantage now tho...is Tilly will no longer want me,after I have broken her heart" She concludes.
Ky can see that her friend no longer needs reflection and what she is actually in need of is some friendship fun and a nice hearty breakfast. "Get yourself dolled up sweet cheeks. Me and you are going for some fucking breakfast munches."
The two had laughed and joke over a fry up before visiting the exhibition for a behind the scenes preview of the artist work; Jen had left her with a promise to return when the show actually opened. Jen was glad she had visiting her crazy friend, her mind was clearer now having been able to express herself openely for a change. She felt no less in pain, however, at least the desicion was finalised; once she returned she would call Keeler 'well maybe not straight away, maybe tomorrow' she thinks, still not wanting to commit to anything.
Now back in Hollyoaks, she identifies as Miss Gilmour the teacher. The only person there who make her fell like Jen is Tilly; she sits at the kitchen table whilst Diane bumbles around the kitchen oblivious.
Amongst Jen's pending realism, that is destroying her mood, the brunette is also finding herself emotionally and physically pinning for her lover. Tilly had not text her since yesterday and the days absence is starting to get unbearable; their hotel retreat two nights ago now fading into the distance.
Liam barges through the front door sweating from a jog and stealing her orange juice. Diane thinks it is charming; Jen just continues to sulk.
"You still mopping?" He asks noting her lack of amusement at his drink theft; he jiggles her hand affectionately to reassure her that he is playing.
Jen remains unimpressed "I'm sorry I can't share you enthusiasm for being job and directionless" she replies overly bitterly and leans on her left elbow; she stares at her phone 'where are you Tilly?' her thoughts plead at the screen.
"Well…I might be able to help you out on that front." Diane interrupts, smiling and looking pleased with herself; returning with a new orange Juice for Jen. The brunette looks up in concern at her colleague.
"Worked a bit of the old Diane magic on Keeler didn't I? Told him to keep the job open for you." She tucks her blond hair behind her ear impressed that she still has her charms when needed.
"You did what!" Jen almost shouts indignantly. It is not that she did not appreciate her colleague's influence on Keeler, she knows she needs all the support she can get; she was just hoping that it had not happened so soon.
"Hey…" interjects Liam looking at his sister with a scowl, shocked at her rudeness. "I think she means thank you very much Diane, that's very kind of you."
Jen sits back sighing heavily, her eyes close in pure defeat. She knows it had to happen eventually; she just is terrified of finally accepting the post. She knows the moment she agrees to take the post to Keeler, she will officially be Tilly's teacher again; and in that moment their relationship will be officially over.
She rest her head on the back of the wooden chair, she wants to disappear; she knows she is being ungrateful. Yet, she feels trapped by the situation and slightly bullied almost by the two of them ganging up on her in the kitchen.
"Look I know it's not what you had your heart set on." Diane says sitting, misinterpreting Jen's turmoil as her just wanting a better teaching position. "But...Well, no one else is exactly beating a path to your door are they." She adds. Jen shrugs and shake her head in frustration but is unable to see a fault in Diane's logic. "I just don't want to see all that talent you've got with the kids go to waste." The blond urges sympathetically.
"Diane's right" Liam joins in, placing his hand on Jen's. "You are a quality teacher."
"I'm beginning to doubt it myself this week" Jen replies thinking back again to her Huxley green interview.
"Well Jen you shouldn't" her colleague replies urgently "The college will be dead lucky to have you" The brunette raises her eyes briefly, she is flattered by Diane's believe in her. "and keeler knows it! So, he is gonna give you until tonight to decide whether your gonna except the offer" the blond concludes.
Jen stares at Diane. She lets out a smile with a sigh, Diane is a good friend. Jen knows she has just been offered a student teachers perfect progression, on a golden plate. A college who believed in her abilities; and sees past her experience to see the potential. This would normally be the best news anyone could hear; in an alternative reality...One in which Tilly did not exist.