Chapter 28

Nadia swung her backpack onto her shoulder and turned on her cell phone. Pulling up recent calls, she found Sam's number and hit send. Dean answered before the first ring could even end, "Where are you?"

She couldn't help but smile, "I just got off... Gate 5, where are you?"

"The south entrance..." He sounded like he was walking as fast as he could. She could hear Sam telling him to relax in the background and she smiled bigger and glanced around to try and get a sense of direction.

Stop. Aidan had been quiet for the entire plane ride. It was beginning to feel like before she had come along; peaceful. No killing or deals with demons, just sleeping in late and lying next to Dean. Oh, fantastic. Here we go again with all this lovey-dovey crap. Just pause for a sec. I think we can find him faster...

"How?"

Just stop and close your eyes.

Nadia did what Aidan told her to do and sighed, "Now what?"

Focus on Dean.

Nadia wanted to tell Aidan to stop messing around, that she was wasting time; but the fact was, Aidan knew things that she didn't. She stood in the middle of people frantic to catch their planes and thought about Dean. She thought about that arrogant smirk she was so unable to resist and of how badly she wanted to feel his touch again... Aidan made gagging motions deep in the back of their mind but soon Nadia felt a need to move forward. Her eyes snapped open and she hurried forward. When she reached the middle of the airport, she turned left without a second thought and pushed through a set of doors. She turned left again but it felt wrong so she turned around and headed in the opposite direction.

She pushed her way through the end of the security line and spotted Sam's formidable figure walking towards her. She immediately looked beside him and saw Dean. In that moment, she felt like she had been holding her breath but was finally able to let it go. Her legs forgot how to work for a minute and she just stood there smiling at him. About 30 seconds passed before she realized that he wasn't smiling.

The smile slowly melted off her face. She glanced at Sam, who had his hands shoved deep into his pockets; he reeked of guilt. He looked back at her with those sad, puppy dog eyes of his and mouthed "I'm sorry." Those words felt like a knife in her stomach. Tears filled her eyes as she looked back at Dean and all she could say was, "You know."

"Yeah." Different emotions flickered over his face; anger and hurt, but mostly guilt. One thing she didn't see though, was disgust and that gave her hope. That and the fact that he'd worried enough to call her and want her with him. He blinked and turned to leave without another word.

Sam watched him walk away and then came over and took her bag. "Sorry."

She looked at him and tried to smile, "It's okay. I understand. I guess I was just hoping for alittle bit of a happy reunion..."

Sam squeezed her shoulders and they followed Dean. "Just give him time. He'll come around. He cares too much about you not to."

She sighed and reached up to put her hand on his shoulder, "You'd better be right." He laughed and shook his head.

Nadia couldn't help but smile when she saw the impala. "Look'in good," she ran a hand over the curve of the back window. Dean glanced over at her hand and down to where he was unlocking the door, but now before she saw the smirk in his eyes. When she looked over at Sam, she saw the he'd seen it too and she smiled brightly. As she slid into the backseat and felt the familiar texture of the leather, flashes of that night there with Dean, made her blush. She cleared her throat and caught Dean watching her in the rear view mirror. He blinked and looked out the windshield while he started the car. She sighed with a tinged of longing at the sound of the engine turning over. I miss my baby. In her mind she could picture the glossy black '69 mustang parked back in the barn at home, where it was hopefully covered and locked away.

The ride was deadly silent to anyone other than Nadia. In her head, Aidan's voice was incessant. She mocked Nadia's sadness at Dean's distance and rolled her eyes at the obvious guilt Sam felt for how his brother was acting. "Just use your mojo and he'll forget why he was ever acting so stupid and pathetic," Aidan said yet again. Nadia tried to block her out but it was obvious right away that that feat was hopeless. "All the work and training we've been doing these past few weeks and all you're going to do is sit here and sulk?"

I am not going to use that on him ever again! Get that through your thick skull!

"My skull is the same thickness as yours," she pointed out. "Never again?"

Never.

"What if the world is coming to an end and the only way to save him or it, is to...make him do something? Or not do something? Or forget something?"

Nadia rolled her eyes and glared out the side window. If his life or the world depends on it, than of course; but I won't do it just to make myself feel better.

"You know, you make no sense whatsoever. You'll use your abilities to kill 1,000 people for him; but god forbid you use them to get what you want most."

That is where you being a demon and me being a human comes in. I know that manipulating someone I love into doing something for selfish reasons is wrong. Beyond wrong. And as far as the whole killing thing goes, they were as good as dead before I got there. So just shut up and get over it! I do not need to be psychoanalyzed by the demon inside me.

Aidan laughed and Nadia couldn't help but smirk alittle at the thought of explaining to a shrink that she already knows what's wrong with her because the demonic voice she hears in her head gave her a very accurate and in-depth analysis. "I'd love to see their face when you told them that. As much as it makes me sick to say it, he loves you and you love him; so why won't you just let yourselves be happy?"

Nadia was getting angry. Not just because Aidan wouldn't shut up, but because she was starting to see the logic in Aidan's words. Why couldn't she be happy? In the amount of time it took to take a breath, Dean would look at her like he had before. She could have what she wanted most in the entire world; but what would the cost be of getting what you want at the expense of another's free will?

Aidan was still questioning and taunting in the background and Nadia snapped. She'd had enough. If she didn't stop her soon, the tempation would be too great to deny. "Just shut up!" She closed her eyes and yelled. The car swerved and Sam spun around looked at her in shock. Dean slammed on the brakes and pulled off the road, "What the hell?"

Nadia winced and tried to make herself absorb into the backseat. She pressed her lips together and looked apologetic. Meanwhile, Aidan had her arms wrapped around her stomach and was rolling on the floor, laughing in the little room in her head. "I don't care how many times you do that, it's still funny as hell! Their faces were priceless!"

Nadia glared at the floor and directed as much anger as she could internally to Aidan, who flinched and stopped laughing. "Nadia?" Sam asked carefully. "Are you alright?" He glanced worriedly at Dean who, she was pleased to see, looked even more worried. But it wasn't her they were worried about; that much she knew. They were worried about her sanity.

She swallowed and tried to look sane--how do you look sane? "I'm fine. I'm good, really."

"Who were you yelling at then?"

"Ummm... Myself." It sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Yourself?"

"Yeah..." She glanced at Sam and then Dean, where she stayed for a few beats and then looked down at her hands. "Guess I might as well tell you everything, huh?" She tried to smile when she looked up at Sam.

Dean leaned forward and, somewhere between a growl and a plee, asked, "There's more?"

"It's not about your deal," she told him. She didn't want him to feel anymore guilty than he already did. She paused and arranged her thoughts, "So, you know how I'm half demon and everything?"

Dean snorted and Sam shot him a glare. "I think what Dean was trying to say was, how could we forget?"

"Right. Uh..." She tried to find away to make it all make sense and not sound as bad as it could; but her shoulders dropped when she realized how impossible that was. "Okay so, I'm just going to try and explain the best I can. This is going to sound crazy; but please let me finish before you ask anything." She looked from one brother to the other, lingering on Dean's face until he blinked and looked down. She took a deep breath and began. "The half demon part of me has become...semi-physically manifested with in me. Her name is Aidan and she talks to me. Inside my head. But sometimes I let her come out and then I get shoved back inside. It's like I'm a car and I am usually the one driving but sometimes I get into the backseat and let her take the wheel. She's strong and stubborn and annoying, but she knows a lot of things that I don't." She lost her momentum by the end of her story and waited to be bombarded with questions and accusations. She couldn't bring herself to look at Dean, so she focused on Sam instead.

He stared at her and she knew that he was running through what she'd told him in her head again and trying to understand it all. Finally he asked, "Aidan?"

She sighed and smiled faintly. "Maybe a demonstration would help?"

Sam started to say something but Dean almost yelled, "Hell no! You want to let that thing take you over? Are you an idiot?"

"Dean, she obviously knows what she's doing," Sam tried to calm his brother.

"Bullshit, Sammy." He looked back at Nadia, "You are not going to just relinquish yourself over to that thing."

She stared back him, her face neutral and tired. "I am."

"No you're not!"

"Dean, this isn't some case of smoke getting crammed down my throat. This is who I am, what I am. She's been a part of me since birth."

He leaned over the seat and grabbed her shoulders. "You don't know what that thing could do to you!"

She winced at the pain where his fingers were digging into her skin. "Yes, Dean, I do. This is not my first time. She can't stay out too long, I won't let her. I'm still stronger than she is. Just--just trust me."

The anger melted from his eyes and was replaced with disbelief and pleading. "You've done it before?" His grip loosened and she didn't think he was even aware that he was still touching her anymore.

"Yes. In San Quentin and Florida State Prison..." her voice was small.

"She killed those people," Sam whispered.

She looked at him, "Yes." Her gaze moved back to Dean, "I couldn't do it myself." She relaxed and closed her eyes and let Aidan take over after a few words of warning. Behave yourself. Touch either of them and you'll be gone so fast you won't know what hit you. And do not lie. I know when you lie.

"Yeah, yeah. I know; no fun whatsoever."

Dean watched Nadia's body go limp for a heartbeat. He gripped her tighter and was about to look over at Sam for help, when tension filled her muscles again. He watched her face closely and when she opened her eyes, he could tell she was no longer there. Her warm, haunting green eyes were dull and cold. She smirked, "Hello boys." He kept staring at her, dumbfounded. He hadn't really believed that Aidan could really be so different than Nadia. He'd thought she'd been lying when she said that she hadn't been the one to kill all those people. He thought she'd been trying to make herself feel better. But he was wrong, this was not Nadia at all.

She cleared her throat and look at him expectantly. "I know your libido's been going nuts since you saw her; but could you wait until she's back before you get all handsy?" She raised her brows and then twisted her mouth in annoyance. She sighed, "Don't say I didn't ask nicely first..." She didn't seem to really be talking to him as she spoke. As he tried to pull himself back together, he felt Sam touch his arm and say something about letting go but he couldn't make himself do it. Sam grabbed his elbow and pulled and as he did so, heat started to form under Dean's hands. At first it was enjoyable; like the warmth of a fire on numb fingers, just before the ache of returning feeling. But the heat increased slowly until he couldn't stand it anymore and jerked away. "Thank you," she said and brushed off her shoulders like he'd left lint behind. He blinked several times and looked at his hands. They weren't red or blistered, in fact there was no evidence at all of what he'd felt.

"It wasn't real. It was all in your head," she sounded bored. "She might refuse to mess with what little you have left; but I'm don't."

"You're really not her. At all..." Sam said in awe.

She looked at him for the first time. "Only on the outside." She looked back at Dean and her eyes softened. "You feel what she feels, don't you?"

She glanced at him in surprise and fidgeted uncomfortably, "Unfortunately."

"So you won't hurt us?"

She sighed, "No. It would literally kill me to do so." She didn't look happy at that little admittance.

Dean was finally able to speak, "So what are you then?"

She looked at him with something close to pity, "A demon." She paused for a beat, "A demon with a conscience."

"A conscience?"

"Yes." She looked at Sam, "As you said, I feel what she feels. I, therefore, have all of the things that make you humans weak." Sam looked confused, so she clarified. "Love," she said with distaste, "trust, loyalty..."

"Those don't make us weak," Dean said through his teeth.

She watched him for a long time before she responded softly with, "I think your dad would disagree." His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. She felt a warning from Nadia and tried to redeem herself. "But, I can agree with your assessment. Nadia is more than I can handle when it comes to you," he stared intently at Dean until he dropped his gaze.

"So she really is stronger than you?" Sam asked.

She laughed tiredly, "I wouldn't be here if she wasn't."

"But that's just temporary, right?" Dean asked.

She watched him again with an odd and meaningful look, "That isn't up to me." She watched him for a bit longer and then she fell away and Nadia came back with a look of surprise. It was obvious that she hadn't been the one to initiate the switch.