-Williams POV-

I was dead. I was almost certain of it.

My mind was hazy to say the least and my vision was repeating itself twice over which made distinguishing things almost impossible.
This wasn't scotch induced this was something else. I sharp pain in the back of my head assured my thoughts that there was something wrong.
But I was warm. I felt like I was in bed. Unless I was dreaming of course but this seemed tangible. I know I fell asleep by the river so my feet should be pretty cold by now...But no. I was definitely all over warm. But I was hurting, Oh Lord was I hurting.

I wasn't thinking about the pain first of all but now it was all I could muster to ignore it. It wasn't anywhere specific either it was just all over pain. The worst pain was coming from my heart though, as the reasons that I had ended up by the river with copious amounts of alcohol came flooding back to me.

-Julia's POV-

My head was heavy. Thick with confusion, consciousness came back slowly and my vision stopped swimming, I could smell something strong under my nose that was attempting to help bring me round, I shook my head a little and my vision cleared. I could see a ruddy hand and a bottle of scotch in it. I heard someone say,

'Sir, she's coming round'

I looked up at the inspector, and sudden remembered what had happened, and grief ripped through me.

'How? How could he?' I asked the inspector, slightly hysterical.

He just looked at me sadly and said,

'Did you know that he hasn't worked in nearly a year?...he left a little while after you did.'

I remained silent the whole way throughout what he was telling me,

'He held you in such high revelry, I don't think you realise just how much he cared for you. We all knew, everyone could see it, and for some ridiculous reason you thought he would be better off without you..'

He walked over to William's desk, as I wiped the tears off my face in embarrassment from crying in front of all the men in the room. I watched the inspector carefully as he looked through the neatly organised draws. He walked back over to me and placed something on the desk that was next to me. It was a small velvet box and my heart started to race as my mind clicked to what it was. I looked from the box to the inspector.

'He followed you to the train station. But he was too late. You were already on the train...I think that was when he gave up on everything.'

I began to sob putting my uncontrollable shaking hand over my mouth. I opened the small box and inside was a perfectly formed sapphire stone surrounded by diamonds on a plain silver band, it was far more beautiful than the ring that now resided on my finger. I found myself wishing that this beautiful ring was in it's place. And the more I looked at the ring the more it made me cry, for everything it stood for, I knew it would never matter now...He was gone.

'I think he would have wanted you to have that' the inspector said quietly.

'If you want to find him, I'm not sure if you will be able to see him but considering your profession I imagine you will. He is at Toronto State Hospital.'

I nodded quietly and carefully stood up to leave, placing the small ring box in my jacket pocket. I left the police station quickly as I could I was desperate to find the final place of my best friend..my...love..? Was I really saying that? I looked to the ring on my finger and came to my decision.
I slowly pulled the ring off my finger and held it tightly in my fist as the carriage came to a halt. I got out slowly, and saw that there were a few reporters still stood outside, as soon as they clocked me their notebooks were out asking if I had any opinion, or had come to see my former work colleague in the morgue, or if I was performing the post-mortem,-A thought which quickly made bile rise in my throat..

I quickly moved towards the double doors and went to find the nearest doctor who could direct me to the morgue.

'Excuse me, I'm Dr. Julia Ogden, I have a...colleague...that was brought in here yesterday...a Detective William Murdoch..could you direct me towards the morgue please?'

I could feel my eyes beginning to fill with tears again but I managed to hold it together and not let them fall. The doctor looked at me a little puzzled as I continued to look at the floor holding back the tears.

'But Dr, he isn't in the morgue...'

I looked at him in disbelief, praying that he hadn't gone in for post-mortem already, I needed t see him whole, complete...

'But...where is he?- I need to see him' I asked quickly.

'Well..he is in the infirmary, the newspapers jumped the gun, Detective Murdoch isn't dead, but he isn't in good shape,
it wouldn't surprise me if he would want to be dead in the state we found him...'

All I could do was stare at him open mouthed.

'He..He's still alive..?-Please take me to him, I need to see him...'

'Alright, please follow me, but I can assure you, he isn't going to be very responsive.'

I shook my head,

'That doesn't matter, I just need to see him' I said quietly as I continued to follow him down the corridor.

We entered a small corridor off to the side which had 3-4 other smaller rooms, into which he took me into at the end of the corridor.

'Here we are ' he said as he turned to me just outside the room.

I turned to enter the room and I didn't even recognise the man lying in the bed. There were features I'll admit that, but nothing as I remember William. His face was so unshaven that a thick beard took it's place, his hair was becoming shaggy and a mess, his eyes were purple and swollen and there was scratches and grazes and purple-yellow bruises on the majority of the skin that I could see. He looked awful. I went to sit down in the chair next to his bed, and I took his hand, which was beaten and cut, his knuckles swollen and bloody. I remembered the last time I touched his hands they were soft and smooth and strong...

..What a mess my poor William had become...

A/N: Please R&R! :)