Sam Cain sat in his office looking out to the street. It had been the kind of day where he wanted to go back to Sweetwater or anywhere else really but where he was. Too many people coming to him with garbage they should just solve themselves and when there really was a problem he wasn't always free to decide how to handle it. He frequently wondered why they hired him if they trusted his judgment so little.

Sam looked up when he heard the door to his office open. A boy hurried inside with the day's mail in his hand. He handed Sam the mail and Sam offered his usual couple of coins to the lad and settled down to read the handful of letters. There was a large envelope that obviously had wanted posters in and communications from some town marshals. A couple letters from people he didn't care about and one that caught his eye. It wasn't exactly addressed to him for one. It was addressed to Emma by someone who clearly did not know their address. Looking at the return address he decided it could not wait a moment longer and headed out the door and toward their house.

Opening the door he immediately started calling for her.

"Emma! Where are you Emma!"

He made it all the way through the house and out the back door finally finding her hanging out the wash.

"Sam Cain," she chastised, "Could you be any noisier if you tried? The baby's finally down for a nap and here you come in hollering to beat all. You know she's teething."

"I'm sorry honey," he said kissing her cheek causing her glare at him to soften. She never could stay mad at him for too long. "I didn't think you'd want to wait another moment to read this."

He held the letter out to her. She furrowed her brow trying to discern something from the writing on the envelope. Sam lightly tapped the return address. She glossed over all except the name, JB Hickok.

"Jimmy?" she said, her hand flying to her heart. She wobbled slightly. "My Jimmy's written me at last?"

"It looks that way," Sam said, "Now come on in out of the sun and read it. I'll get you some water. You look pale."

Emma allowed herself to be led into the house as if in a daze and really she was. The last person she expected to write to her had. He was never far from her mind and perhaps he was always so close to her thoughts because she hadn't heard from him at all. Sometimes there would be an article in the newspaper about something he'd done and it was usually something she was glad to hear about long after the fact for the danger of it. Emma got letters from the others. Her Lulabelle had married Kid and they were doing alright and finally getting on their feet with a couple of little ones of their own now. She heard from Buck and Mr. Spoon from time to time as well and Cody was hard not to hear of in the papers and the dime novels but even he took the time to write her grand letters telling her everything he saw and did. She felt like she was travelling and living that glamorous life right with him from the detail of his letters. But never was there a word from her Jimmy. She knew he could read and write now so that was not an excuse but she knew it wasn't his way and she understood the demons that chased him and made him feel unworthy of the family he'd found.

Finally she held in her hand word from her most lost lamb. She'd known he was in danger of drifting like this but had once feared more for Buck than Jimmy. Buck somehow had found his bearings while Jimmy had been carried on the winds. Emma waited for Sam to come with the water for her, less because she needed the drink than because she needed him. She was still tough as nails and no one had better mistake that but this was her boy she was hearing from at long last. Once Sam was settled in a chair next to hers she dared break the seal on the envelope and slowly pulled out the paper within.

Sam watched her read the letter. He wanted to ask what it said and maybe have her read it aloud to him but patience was a virtue and he was no child, he could wait for her. He cared for those boys and stuck his neck out for them and worried for them but she'd lived with them and been their ma when no one else would give them two looks. She was the one who cared for every injury from bullet wounds to broken hearts. It was her right to read this first and tell him what she wanted to tell him when she was good and ready to tell him. So there he sat studying her face for clues. He saw so many emotions wash over her and yet he did not dare to reach out to her. This was her time with her boy and it wasn't his place to intrude in any way.

At last he saw her lower the letter and blink back the tears in her dark brown eyes before taking a drink of the water. Then she spoke.

"He asked after you," she said at last, "Said you taught him a lot about being a man."

"He finally writes after all these years and all the letter, which was addressed to you, said was that he wanted to know how I was?"

"If course not," she replied, "He wrote to tell me he met a woman. They're going to be married."

"Is he sure this is a good thing?" Sam asked suddenly concerned, "He never had too good of luck with women before."

Emma held up a smaller piece of paper.

"Let's just see what this says," she smiled as she began to read aloud, "Dear Mrs. Cain, Jimmy doesn't know I slipped this in but I just had to. He flatters me with his words. I am no great beauty but he looks at me like I am the prettiest woman in the world. I was in a very dark place and he has brought light back to my world. You raised him to be a good man. I can only hope that if I'd had my Adam for longer I could have been as good of a mother as you. I cannot tell you what it means to have purpose in my days again, to have love as well. I truly hope one day to meet you although I hear enough about you from Jimmy I almost feel as if I already know you. I will close with my most sincere wishes for your health and well-being and that of your husband. – Faith."

Emma looked up from the note beaming.

"I know anyone can write pretty words but something about this makes me believe them."

"I think so too," Sam said, "Well, my dear, I have to get back to the office. I'll see you tonight."

He leaned to kiss her and gave her a squeeze around her shoulders for good measure before heading out the front door.

Emma sat in the chair reading the note over and over, her wash completely forgotten. Finally she stood and went to the desk near the entryway of their house. She pulled out a few sheets of writing paper, a pen and a pot of ink before sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and composing her reply. More than once she had to take a break from writing because her eyes had filled too much with tears at the sheer knowledge that her boy was still out there and that he had found some happiness. Finally she was just wrapping up as Betsy came down from her nap to announce the baby was awake and smelled funny. Emma quickly closed the note and addressed the envelope delighting that she could do this as she finally had somewhere to send it. Then she climbed the stairs to take care of Sarah and her 'funny' smell. Somehow Emma doubted she'd find it at all amusing.

"What are you being so secretive about?" Faith asked. They had just gone to town and Jimmy had grown very quiet and it made her worried.

"I'm not being secretive," Jimmy said.

"Did someone say something about our living arrangement again?"

They had been living together for close to a month and it seemed every time they went to town some busy body had to pipe up and say something about them living in sin or her reputation or his. Jimmy had gotten better at ignoring them although the first trip to town had resulted in Mr. White, whose wife was the president of the ladies auxiliary at the church, staring down the barrel of one of Jimmy's Colts. No man said anything to his face after that incident but the women had learned that he would not draw on them and therefore felt safe in saying whatever hurtful and hateful things they wanted. Faith didn't care. The only way to make them truly understand was for them to deal with the pain and loss that she had. Jimmy understood all that but it still made him angry when people said hurtful things about her and sometimes even to her. There were times when she was alone in the house while he was out working at chores she would find the tears springing to her eyes when she thought on how fiercely he defended her. She wasn't sure she had ever been loved quite this intensely before. But then he was as wounded as she was and she had only scratched the surface of the losses he had suffered.

"Of course someone said something," he said getting terse and hating himself for it, "Someone always says something."

"I've told you before I don't care. They are ignorant and I won't wish misfortune on people merely for their edification."

"So they get to be lucky enough to have less pain in their lives and then cause more pain for less fortunate people?" he asked.

"I don't consider myself less fortunate," Faith asserted, "I wake every morning in the arms of a man who loves me, I drift to sleep after he pushes me to the limits of bliss and I understand how precious a gift his love is. I'm a very lucky woman."

"Don't make it right," he grumbled.

"It also doesn't mean that you have to get all sullen and quiet on me every time we come back from town," she said leaning her head against his shoulder, "It worries me because I think maybe you're hurting and bottling it inside."

"It's not the first time I've heard bad things about myself but you don't deserve it."

"Neither do you," she said planting a kiss on his arm before returning her head to rest on his shoulder.

"We could argue that 'til the cows come home but that's not even what's got me thinking today."

"You mean you're not brooding about the nasty things Mrs. White and her little flock of followers says?" she asked.

"Nope," he said, "I'm not brooding at all. Just thinking."

"Well, now you're being secretive again."

Jimmy held up the mail.

"Ain't no secret," he said, "Just something that came in with the mail."

Faith took the offered letters.

"Another letter from my sister telling me that I don't need to live alone because she refuses to acknowledge that we're together," she said flipping through, "My magazine, oh, Jimmy, Emma wrote back. That's wonderful. I can't believe you aren't excited, or at least happy."

"I am happy," he told her, "And nervous. And don't tell anyone else this but a little scared too."

"Well then I can see why you are so quiet," Faith said, "The great Wild Bill Hickok is scared of his mama."

"I ain't scared of her," he protested, "I'm scared of disappointing her and that's way different. And Wild Bill never cared one way or the other, besides he's gone. Ain't no such man anymore."

"I know. I was teasing you."

Jimmy put his arm around her squeezing her to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"I worry you, huh?"

"Yes, well sometimes," she confessed, "I worry you don't tell me things that bother you. You take on all my sorrows and don't share your own."

"I love you too much to saddle you with all that."

"And I love you too much to keep seeing you deal on your own."

Jimmy chuckled at her and tightened his arm around her again, "You win."

"What do I win?" she asked with a giggle. Jimmy wondered if she had laughed often before her losses because her giggles came more and more frequently the longer they were together and she was more playful as time went on as well.

"What do you want, Faith?" he retorted, "Anything, just ask and it's yours."

"Well for one thing I want you to talk to me more. Stop being so evasive when you talk about yourself. I know enough that if I was going to be frightened away I would have run screaming for the hills by now."

"I'll try," he said, "Old habits die hard. What else?"

Her eyes twinkled at him and she gave him a playful wink.

"I think I'll keep that to myself for now," she told him, "It'll be as much a prize for you as for me."

"I like the sound of that," he growled into her ear. He knew somehow it would involve making love with her and there wasn't a thing on earth he enjoyed more than that.

They arrived home and took care of the week's supplies before heading onto the porch. Jimmy lowered himself to the swing and Faith sat close to him. He handed her the two items that were for her. She sat them next to her.

"Aren't you going to read your letter?" Jimmy asked her.

"From Patience the Perfect?" she sniffed, "I'd rather not. I know it's just more of the same. It can wait until later."

"You should probably try writing her again," he said, "She's your only sister and you never speak."

"You should talk," Faith snapped back and Jimmy knew to shut his mouth. She was right. He hadn't made any effort to contact Celinda or Lydia and he didn't even have the excuse of them being nasty tempered people. His sisters were very sweet and loving girls. Patience was possibly more of a holier than thou bitch than Mrs. White and all her ladies auxiliary crones put together. Jimmy turned to the letter in his hand and then looked at Faith.

"I'm sure I have something I could do in the house if you'd like your privacy," she said.

He pondered for a moment and then shook his head.

"I think I'd rather if you'd stay. I think I'm just trying to find the courage to open the thing."

Faith just hugged his arm and rested her head against him. There was no urging him to open it or even telling him it would be fine. She knew he'd open it in his good time and she only wanted him to know that she was there and would be there for him no matter what happened. After a few moments he tore away the envelope and held the letter in his hands and then with a sigh he unfolded it and began to read.

Dear Jimmy,

Oh my sweet boy, you have no idea the joy your letter brought to me. I was overcome with happiness just to hold it in my hand and know you were out there somewhere and well enough to write to me. I have worried so for you. I ask God every night to look to your safety and send my love to wherever you are. Now I want you to stop right now feeling guilty over what you imagine I might think of your choices. I might wish sometimes your life had gone different but I will always love you and be proud to call you one of my own.

Jimmy paused in his reading to wipe at his eyes and allowed a chuckle.

"That's Emma alright," he said, "Still telling me what's what."

To read that you are happy is the most wonderful thing I could think of. I spent so much time worrying for all of you boys—and Lulabelle of course. To know that those of you that remain are finding your places in the world brings me endless joy. This Faith of yours sounds like a remarkable woman. I should like to meet her someday. With the hardships she has suffered, you are no doubt as precious a fountain of hope for her as she is to you. Treasure the comfort you can be to each other.

I will fill you in as best as I can on the rest of your brothers. If you wanted to write to them, you wouldn't have a hard time finding them at all. Mr. Spoon remains the marshal in Rock Creek so I am sure he would pass along letters to any of the others. They all live in or near Rock Creek. Kid and Louise are still married but I am sure you figured as much. They have two little ones now. A boy and a little girl. Lulabelle is quite a natural mother despite her best efforts to say otherwise.

"I'll just bet she is," Jimmy said.

Buck, who I worried for as much as I did you, has stayed on being deputy to Mr. Spoon and I expect that he's taking over more of the job everyday as Mr. Spoon is not getting any younger. If you are wondering about Rachel Dunne, my understanding is that she is still the schoolteacher there and I think Mr. Spoon has become sweet on her and possibly she is returning his feelings.

Sam and I are still here in Omaha as I am sure you had guessed seeing as your letter found me. He is still territorial marshal but every day and sometimes many times each day he threatens to quit and go back to being a small town marshal. He hasn't yet although I expect he probably will at some point. I'd be as happy either way. We have two little girls now. Betsy is nearly school aged and Sarah is our baby. She'll be one in a few months. You should see how tightly they have Sam wound around their chubby little fingers. I'll just bet they'd get you to spoil them rotten too if ever they got to meet you.

I guess it's a good thing I was nearly done writing now as Betsy has just come down to inform me that Sarah is up from her nap and needs a diaper change.

Please write again Jimmy. You will possibly never understand how happy it made me to hear from you. I want you to know you are never without a home or family. I swore the very day I met you all that none of you would be orphans as long as I was around. I still draw breath, Jimmy. You remember that now.

Love,

Emma

Jimmy just sat motionless and was only vaguely aware that a couple of tears had escaped his control and were working their way down toward his jaw. His family was all there waiting for him. Except for Emma and Sam and she had been thinking of him and praying for him. There were children he hadn't met. He had been away so long and yet maybe not too long. His shoulders began to shake and he felt a tiny stab of shame when Faith wrapped her arms around him and kissed at his tears. He had forgotten she was there. His shame was soon replaced with so many other emotions at the absence of judgment in the love she was showering on him.

Faith had watched his face as he read the letter, heard the emotion in his words at the few comments he made while reading and even felt her own emotions well up within her as she took in the words on the page. His tears surprised her, not because he was moved by the words in the letter. Faith expected that but he hid his feelings from her so often that she was nearly shocked when he allowed such a display. She pulled him to her as she leaned back against the arm of the swing. He rested his head against her bosom and wept. Faith almost didn't know what to think of the situation. He had held her through her tears many times but had never allowed her this chance to comfort him. She felt oddly honored. Faith moved her hand up and down his back and planted kisses on his head and was content to hold him as long as he needed her to. As much as her heart was at once broken by the pain within him and mended by the hope he seemed to have found, she also felt happy that for once he was allowing her to help him. She felt equal and that felt good.

Oh the healing...it makes me happy to see these two wounded souls find each other and find they aren't as alone as they thought they were...and sweet Emma finally hearing from her lost little boy.-J