Omake 1

Gaara, sitting next to Matsuri, fidgeted in front of the camera as he adjusted the microphone. "Is this thing on? Oh, we're live?" He paused to clear his throat. "Welcome to the first ever, apologetic 'author-san is late' omake." He carefully leaned closer to Matsuri and whispered. "We're allowed to say that, right?"

She smiled and delivered a peck to his cheek. "Of course, dear. Now onto the audience questionnaire!" She almost had a song in her voice. "The ever inquisitive audience would like to know why author-san is late this time."

Gaara looked apathetically to the camera. "Does he want me to kill them?"

Matsuri looked alarmed. "Of course he doesn't! He just wants to answer the audience and alleviate their fears!"

"I don't understand." Gaara took a deep breath. "Well, author-san wanted to choke his artificial intelligence sensei, as did the rest of his fellow classmates."

Matsuri chuckled nervously as she felt a cold sweat. "Please dear, tune down the violence." She giggled genuinely. "Just because Shoka-baka was a bit of a challenge, huh?"

Gaara grumbled something under his breath. "Weren't there more reader concerns?"

Matsuri perked up. "Of course, there are always unanswered questions! However, author-san doesn't want to divulge too much. We're here to give our objective opinions and maybe have a few guests."

Without even looking to the side, Gaara introduced the silhouette standing next to him. "We'll let Neji answer the first question."

Matsuri cleared her throat as she unsealed and envelope and read the contents of the included letter. "What's going to happen to the five captives? They did threaten Konoha with war, fixating the blame on Kumo."

Neji stared blankly at the camera. "This is a complete waste of time. For threatening Hinata-sama, at least Yumiko and Saiga should be executed. Since Yumiko's already dying, that leaves Saiga. I'm sure Kumo would help us as he spat upon one of their hitai-ate."

"Well, um…" Matsuri wasn't sure how to respond before snapping her fingers. A long, hooked cane extended and extracted Neji from the scene. "Yes, well, I'm not sure author-san wanted the audience to know about the spittle on the cloud hitai-ate…"

Gaara nearly startled her as he spoke up. "Maybe we should have Shino continue."

As she was about to agree, she was startled as the bug tamer spoke from her other side. "While it is easier to eliminate possible threats to the village, the 'fake' Hyuuga are potentially useful. Saiga has a nearly extinct Hyouton, and Rikka can read surface thoughts."

Matsuri carefully inquired. "What about Basuto?"

Shino turned his attention to her with a piercing gaze hidden behind dark shades. "Yamamichi are plentiful."

Again, Matsuri felt a cold sweat and chuckled mirthlessly. "Moving on, why does Rikka seem the strangest of the siblings? She easily switches between childlike tendencies and her true age in maturity at the drop of a dime." She giggled. "She even had Ibiki turned in all directions."

She nearly jumped as Shikamaru answered from beside Gaara. "ANBU researchers suspect is has something to do with the kinjutsu being used."

Matsuri looked at him suspiciously. "Wait, what are you doing here now? It's not your turn…" Looking around, she noticed a missing occupant. "Wait, where's Shino?!"

Shikamaru shrugged lazily. "What? You invited us to answer one question each."

"Wah…" Matsuri whined as she tilted her head to one side. "I've only opened one letter! How are we supposed to have a full segment?!"

Shikamaru changed it up slightly. He yawned as he shrugged lazily. "Not my problem. Anyway as I was saying, Orochimaru transfers his entire consciousness into his new host body while keeping all memories, et cetera. Yumiko transfers hers or her children's consciousness while deleting everything from the original host. Without going into boring details, it makes whoever transferred in the same physical age. It's probably some chemical imbalance thing."

Matsuri nodded. "I see, then…" Shikamaru was nowhere in sight. "Argh, our segment just got wasted!"

Gaara shrugged. "Look on the bright side." She looked at him inquisitively. "We have more time to ourselves."

She immediately brightened up. "Well, good night folks and look forward to author-san's lovely update! He apologizes profusely, and we only got to one (nonexistent) audience letter!"

Matsuri grabbed Gaara and sped out the studio laughing maniacally.

As they said, I'm truly, truly sorry! I'm almost done, but finishing up and proofreading is going to put the update at sometime tomorrow.

...

Wait, what is Matsuri up to? Um, goodnight folks!