REFLEX ATTRACTION

by ardavenport

- - - Part 2

"There has to be a better way of doing this." Her voice sounded a little choked despite her attempt at calm. Even her ability to keep up a pretense of control seemed to be beyond her.

"There are many ways. They always seem to be different." Senoebi commented over her head.

"May I make a suggestion?"

Silence. Janeway squeezed her eyes shut. He was deliberately making it difficult for her. Did he really expect her to speak out loud about how easily he had gained utter control over her? And how she couldn't stop thinking about it afterward?

"I think we need to try something else."

"So do I," Senoebi agreed pleasantly. But he did not move and she waited for him to explain.

She jumped and gasped when she felt a new touch on her back. Senoebi's lower hands shifted to her waist and his upper hands gently pressed her shoulder's together. She didn't look up at him again. Another set of hands rested on her hips. Senoebi gently turned her around and she found herself nose to chest with Commander Chakotay.

Her heart pounded in her ears again. Chakotay's arms went around her. Appalled with herself, with Chakotay, with Senoebi, she whimpered. The sexual reflex that she thought she'd acclimated to came back. Senoebi's hands placed her head on Chakotay's shoulder, positioned his hands on her middle back.

She stayed rigid. Her body was already betraying her; she did not want any kind of motion at all to make it worse. His uniform smelled like him, masculine. And she felt queasy with knowing that he was close enough to smell her, her hair, her body.

She stared to the side, in the doctor's direction and she saw Senoebi leave her and walk to the table and sit down in the empty chair. The pleasure response was already subsiding because she was beginning to feel nauseous. She thought that she might have felt less unwell if Senoebi had used his power over her to have her strip on the bridge. Would Tuvok finally end this if she did that, she thought furiously.

Shutting her eyes, she took deep breaths. Chakotay wasn't quite as good at stillness as Senoebi, or perhaps she was more sensitive to the Human feel of him.

Her feet started to hurt again. She had stopped caring about whether she could work out a way to get this therapy over with as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry, I don't feel well. May I sit down now?"

There was no answer. She opened her eyes. The doctor sat at his table, reading a padd; Senoebi sat placidly staring off into space, with his hands folded before him. Janeway felt misery creeping up on her. Any kind of confession or confrontation would have been preferable to being ignored like this. She supposed that if she fainted, then they would have to do something, to take some note of her being there. But the thought of passing out gave her a flush of strength.

"Chakotay, can you tell me what I'm supposed to do?" she asked very quietly.

"No." She thought she heard him take an extra breath, perhaps to say something more, but he didn't. She did feel his head turn and knew he had to be looking toward Senoebi.

"Ah! It's time for lunch." The doctor's cheerful voice broke the solemn silence in the room. Abruptly, Chakotay released her. He stepped back and she thought she saw a look of sympathy before he turned away and briskly went back to his corner of the room. The chair scraped on the deck when he picked it up. He walked around her as he carried it across the room to the doctor's table and took his seat there. She did not turn her head toward them, but she could see what they were doing. The doctor and Senoebi were laying out a lunch from the now open box at the doctor's feet, sandwiches, pickled vegetables, fruit, bottles of water and tea, cookies. Chakotay's back was to her.

A chill went through her and Janeway wrapped her arms around herself. She was facing her own chair of the room. She felt like she was on display, naked in this equally naked room, in the middle of some weird thought experiment. She inhaled, sniffed, went to her chair, sat down and started to cry.

Janeway leaned on the armrest facing away from the others. She did not want them to see her, but she couldn't stop them from hearing. Every time she inhaled, she made a horrible wailing. But the frustration and humiliation that had been building up in her were overwhelming. Her body, her anxiety, her anger, her tears, it didn't seem like she could control anything anymore. Chakotay had to know everything, what her reaction was to him. The doctor would have told him. They were both following Senoebi's lead.

There was a long, loud scraping sound and she saw pairs of legs moving around her. Janeway bolted upright. The doctor and Senoebi had moved the whole table and lunch to her. As soon as she was sitting up, they moved the table right up to her chair. There was a full place setting for her.

Eyes wide, she stared down at it. It was another test.

She sniffed and hurriedly wiped her face with the back of her hand and then snatched up her napkin and used that. Stray hairs had come loose from her bun, tickling her cheeks and neck and she futilely brushed them aside. She remained turned away from the table and meal. None of the others were looking at her and she certainly did not want to look at them. They served their own lunches while she tried to compose herself.

The logic of the therapy was pretty transparent; now that they had gotten the requisite gush of emotion from her, she was welcome to join the group.

Straightening, she turned toward her lunch. It was surreal. Senoebi sat across from her, Chakotay on her left, the doctor on her right. The same positions they had occupied in their corners of the room.

"I've heard that Station Manager Yoozid is being held responsible for yesterday's explosion." Senoebi began before taking a bit of vegetable.

"Really?" Chakotay responded before taking a bite of his own sandwich.

"Yes, I have heard that Yoozid has never been a good manager and even worse at facing responsibility. He's hiding out in his rooms."

Suddenly terrified of saying anything, Janeway looked down at her own plate. There really must be something wrong with me, she said to herself. Her fear made her feel ill again and the aromas of food made it worse. The sandwiches seemed to be Neelix's ususal mystery-pate, and she was sure that she had been seeing those orange and green picked vegetables in the mess hall for the past few days. She put down the napkin and picked up the glass of water and took a few sips. The others prattled on but she focused on her own problems.

She desperately wanted to get this whole session over. She had accepted from the doctor that it was necessary and that it would be difficult. But she wanted it over with. And she wanted to do it right, so that whatever triggers and conditionings that Senoebi had inadvertently left inside her head were really gone. She had to get it right.

Still not too hungry but determined to move on, she picked up a sandwich half and bit off a corner. Neelix had taken extra care with these sandwiches. He'd cut off the crusts and the layers of greens and pate were even and generous. She might have thought that they were replicated, but no replicator program could reproduce the Talaxian's cooking and she would question the sanity of any engineer who would try.

It didn't taste too bad and she took another bite.

"Yoozid's assistant said that they got their transducer parts from the Ranae traders. We could go to them directly." She didn't look up when she answered a question from Chakotay.

"Uh, Tuvok has already contacted them and they sound interested, but they won't be here for another couple of days." There was hesitation in Chakotay's reply and Janeway heard him shift in his chair.

"It won't hurt us to stick around for a few more days. How are the station repairs going?" She still didn't look up from her plate; she just couldn't force herself to do it. She took another sip of water.

Chakotay gave her a run down of the assistance Voyager had given to the damaged station. Yoozid's second assistant, Mazmid was coordinating the repairs and assistance from Voyager and a couple of other ships, including the one that Senoebi had been traveling on. The scuttlebutt on the station was that Mazmid would soon be given Yoozid's job. Janeway peeked up at Chakotay as he spoke.

Senoebi was facing her. He wasn't staring, but Janeway still felt like she was on display. Now she peered at him suspiciously. Could he be influencing her now? According to Tuvok, his telekinetic and telepathic abilities were "extraordinary", which meant a lot. But Tuvok had been equally impressed by Senoebi's discipline and code of ethics about not entering another person's mind uninvited, and that meant just as much.

The doctor, of course, wasn't eating, so the serving bowls, extra sandwiches, tea and water bottles ended up on his side of the table. He sat there smiling to himself and occasionally tapping notes on the padd he was reading. But his eyes glanced around the table enough to make Janeway feel like she was being watched by the doctor as well.

She looked down at her nibbled sandwich. She didn't think she could take any of the aged, pickled vegetables, so she stabbed at an orange slice with her fork. It was cool and juicy, but more like melon than a citrus fruit. She couldn't remember what the original name of the fruit was, but it was close enough to an orange to be called that.

"This is my first trip to the Lour'Atz Station. I've hardly ever been off my own planet before this." Senoebi restarted the conversation when the exchange of facts dried up between Janeway and Chakotay. The doctor picked it up this time. Janeway pushed her plate and fork away. She felt like she was at a party where she didn't know anybody. She didn't feel unwell anymore, but she wasn't hungry either.

"Can we get on with this, please?"

There was the briefest of pauses before Senoebi went on with his story about his history as a healer, ignoring her. Janeway lowered her head again. What was she missing?

"I suppose you've done this sort of thing before." Janeway commented about Senoebi's current treatment.

"When necessary. But never with a species I've never studied before," he answered calmly, not disturbed at all with her interruption.

"So, what is your conclusion from this . . . study?"

"This study isn't concluded."

Janeway felt her frustration rising. Chakotay and the doctor seemed to be finding other parts of the room more interesting to look at. Janeway had been given very little instruction about this therapy of Senoebi's other than the goal; to remove any subconscious conditionings leftover from the healer's manipulations. That part of this session seemed complete; she was now sitting at lunch with both Senoebi and Chakotay with hardly a quiver.

What else was there?

Feeling her eyes start to tear up again from the indignity, she clamped her mouth shut and lowered her head. What was she missing in this? The smell of the rest of her lunch on the plate in front of her started to make her feel nauseous again and she pushed it away even further. Staring down at her hands, she forced herself not to feel the anger and frustration. She had to speak and advance this thing. Senoebi was waiting for her to make a move and she did not have any choice.

"Mister Chakotay, you said that Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim were coordinating our assistance with the station." Janeway didn't think that the repairs on the space station were what Senoebi wanted her to be talking about, but she needed to start somewhere. "How long do you think it will take them to finish the repairs?"

Chakotay finished his mouthful and cleared his throat. "We're almost finished now. Mister Mazmid has only requested our help using the transporter, beaming out wreckage from the evacuated areas, once they've cleared the radiating elements . . . "

Janeway listened, organizing her thoughts and wiping her eyes with her napkin. Neelix had told her the day before that the Lour'Atz had a tradition of honoring those who helped others in distress without asking for payment first, so she supposed that this would work in their favor once they got back to trading for supplies from them.

She looked up at the Commander. "I think that once we're finished with our part in the repairs I'll speak with Mazmid directly about when we can resume our negotiations. Neelix seems to have established a good relationship with him so, if you don't mind Commander, I'll talk to him first."

Chakotay opened his mouth to reply.

There was a thump under the table and Chakotay jumped.

- - - End Part 2