Aidan watched Sam walk out the door and a feeling of panic washed over her. "Sam!" she called, not entirely sure why. He stopped and looked around the doorframe, his long fingers wrapped around the smooth, white metal. Aidan grew nervous as he looked at her expectantly; why couldn't she have just let him go? Why did she feel the need to reassure him? She licked her lips, "I will. Finish what she started," she clarified.
The corner of his mouth quirked upward, "I know." She furrowed her brow and he stepped the rest of the way into the doorway. "He makes you nervous; say what you want but I know you care about what he thinks of you."
She swallowed and glared at him, "A side effect of sharing a brain with a heart with legs." She blinked and looked down at the plain white floor, picking at the ugly pale blue hospital gown. "Guess I don't have to worry about that anymore, it'll probably wear off; what with her gone and everything," she looked up at him. After a beat she dropped her eyes again, "And even if it doesn't… Well, I thought he hated me before," she smiled dryly.
Sam sighed in a way that sounded like he was trying to pull his thoughts together and Aidan looked at him. His eyes squinted for a second, "Dean's never found it easy to trust anyone. We had that ingrained in us. Well, that and to never, ever trust a demon. They lie." He paused. "I don't think he really hated you before… I just think he couldn't reconcile the fact that he was in love with someone who stood against everything he believed. Someone who took all those beliefs and turned them upside down.
"Hunters share a type of religion. There are things you do and things you don't. There is a clear black and white to what's right and what is wrong. I mean it would be hard enough for, say, a Catholic to find out their entire belief system was wrong and some other, totally different one was right. This," he gestured to her, "you, are like finding out maybe heaven and hell aren't so different after all… It's just a matter of perception."
She didn't say anything as she stared out the window. "Look, for hunters, being in love is the worst kind of torture. You worry when that person isn't with you, you put them in danger when they are… The person you love is the easiest way to get to you. The best thing you can do for them is to walk away but it's the hardest thing to do and it tears you up inside. You…you're different. Nadia was different. She wasn't a liability like most people are when we bring them along, she was an asset. Now here you are, perhaps the best chance we have in this whole apocalypse thing, and it hurts too much to have you around."
She looked thoughtfully off to her right. There were a million things she wanted to say but in the end, all she could do was continue to act like the demon she was and pretend emotions didn't touch her. "I have to admit I would probably feel more slighted about that whole, me-hell, her-heaven, analogy if I hadn't met an actual angel. Who knows, maybe fire and brimstone and eternal torture are the good end of the deal," she smirked.
Sam laughed and turned slightly to walk back out the door. "See you around."
"If you ever do, could you do me a favor?"
"That depends," Sam replied a little hesitantly.
"Point out something, I don't know, shiny to your brother in the opposite direction?"
He smiled, "Will do." He turned and walked down the hall and disappeared from sight.
Aidan stared after him for a long time; not really sure what she was hoping for but she never got it. She turned and watched the people walking through the parking lot below going about their lives completely oblivious to the other world that surrounded them. Many would clash with that world but few would ever truly understand what they'd experienced.
Even now, a demon stood above them with enough power to snuff out them all and their thoughts didn't so much as stutter. Finishing this deal could be a piece of cake; in the blink of an eye the last remaining souls could be collected and Dean could be safe…so why couldn't she do it?
She started to turn back to the room but stopped when she caught Nadia's reflection in the window. She stared at the girl who used to control her and smiled bitterly as she realized "used to" was only wishful thinking. Nadia was still the driving force behind every decision Aidan made and no matter how much she tried to deny it—just like the face reflected back at her—she wasn't who she was born to be. This face, this body was never truly going to belong to her; it was just a rental she could never escape. Having a soul had left its own imprint on her. Leaving just enough light within the darkness to make a difference; just as she had once been the spot of darkness within Nadia, allowing her to follow through on a foolish deal she'd made because her love for a hunter.
She was going to stop fighting it, she decided. If she cared for Dean and wanted him safe; she would finish the deal and keep him safe. If that meant searching out people who qualified as "deserving of her collection," then so be it. She wasn't light and she wasn't dark; she was a little gray and for the first time, that didn't seem so bad. She turned around, her eyes closed in a slow blink. When she opened them again, she couldn't help the gasp that passed through her lips.
Dean was finally pulling out of the parking lot now that Sam was back from his heart to heart with Aidan. He wanted to push the pedal to the floor and get as far away from her as possible; and it wasn't entirely because of what she was but also because of the temptation she was for him. He could tell himself she wasn't Nadia until he was blue in the face but it didn't change the fact that when he looked at Aidan, all he saw was Nadia. It would be easy, too seductively easy, to go back to her and pretend she had ever changed. He was even starting to think she was truly starting to care for him and something about that scared him more than any of the rest of it. He could hate her because of what she was and what she'd taken from him but could he keep it up if she wasn't what he thought she was?
Sam sighed and stretched out his legs, seeming much more resigned and okay with the whole Nadia-is-now-Aidan thing than Dean thought he should be. Dean turned back to the road as grief niggled at the back of his mind but he couldn't let it take him over. He was afraid that this time it would be too much. But as long as he had Uriel to focus on, he could put off facing her death for awhile.
"What did you say to her?" A voice came from the backseat. Dean barely kept the Impala on the road and Sam spun around to stare at Castiel with big, surprised eyes.
Dean pulled the car over onto the side of the road while Sam asked, "What?" once he'd gotten himself under control again.
Castiel zeroed in on Dean, "Why is she still pursuing Nadia's deal?"
"Don't look at me," Dean said defensively. "I didn't ask anything of her."
Sam licked his lips, "I did."
Castiel turned to him, "You've made her a target again."
Sam tensed, "What?"
"There are steps to the coming apocalypse. They're important; and if one is changed the whole thing can be affected. The ending could change. The other side could win. That is not something the angels can chance; everything must happen precisely as planned. That deal being completed," he looked at hard at Dean, "you being spared from hell, is not a part of the plan. My superiors will do whatever it takes to keep the course."
Dean rolled his eyes and replied dryly, "How sweet, an all-expenses paid trip to the fiery depths of hell. I thought angels were supposed to be the good guys."
"Dean, that's not the point." Sam glared at him, "They are going to kill Aidan to keep her from saving you."
"Yes and if—" Castiel stopped what he was about to say and got a faraway look that made him tense. "Uriel," he whispered and looked over his shoulder.
Dean clenched his fist and stared at the back of the angel's head. "He's here?"
Castiel disappeared without a response and Dean was left cursing and pulling the dagger Castiel had left, from under the front seat. "Dean," Sam's voice was tight and sharp and by the time Dean looked at him, Sam was already out of the car. He quickly climbed out of the vehicle as well and followed Sam's line of sight to a crowd of screaming people and a broken window many stories up on the hospital.
Sam and Dean took off toward the growing crowd.
"Sorry to interrupt," Uriel said in that same voice he'd used the last time she'd seen him; both smooth and rough all at the same time. Aidan opened her mouth to make some crack about failing to kill her the first time; but before she could get the words out, his arm shot forward and she was sent flying backward. She barely noticed the glass as she hit it and broke through. She was too stunned to stop the fall or teleport to safety and when she hit the trunk of the car in the parking lot and it molded to the shape of her, she felt more chagrined than anything else. This was the second time Uriel had gotten the drop on her and this time she wasn't sure she was going to be saved by Castiel again.
She couldn't seem to catch a breath and her entire body felt numb. Somehow she knew she'd been paralyzed in the fall and she was oddly grateful for it; as those paralyzed rarely, if ever, are. Someone touched her hand and she closed her eyes, trying to pull herself together. She was a demon; she should have some trick up her sleeve to survive a twelve story fall. Actually she was surprised she was still conscious at all; maybe that was the only perk she was going to get from her demon blood.
Suddenly she felt a tingling in her hand that was making its way up her arm. It brought strength and she rolled her eyes up to the person who was still touching her hand, to see what was happening. Maybe some nurse was shooting her up with morphine so the death would be as painless as possible. It was a pretty good place to be thrown out of the window, a hospital. There were worse ways to die.
But it wasn't a nurse holding her hand, it was just a woman. A pale woman who was growing ever paler and whose eyes were full of fear as she looked down at Aidan. The feeling of strength grew in Aidan's chest and was cut off when the woman dropped to the ground. Shock, Aidan thought, she passed out in shock.
"Aidan! Aidan!" She heard her name being called and recognized it immediately; though it wasn't the voice she wanted to hear most.
The faint sound of wings and a light breeze brushed her face and she lifted her head enough to see Uriel standing at her feet. "Uriel!" The name was filled with such rage and hatred it made everyone around the scene stop moving and a tangible current shot through the air. That was what she wanted. Dean was back.
Uriel turned to face the attack coming from Dean. He was going to get hurt, maybe even killed; Aidan gathered whatever strength she had and got to her feet. People stared at the girl who was sitting upright after a twelve story fall. She'd definitely make the news, she thought idly.
Uriel saw her out the corner of his eye and turned back to deal with her. She punched him as hard as she could in the jaw before plunging her hand into his gut with such force that she broke the skin and felt his Grace under the surface. She wrapped her fingers around the searing intensity that was his Grace, ignoring the pain that burned her hand from the sheer incompatibility of the two beings, and pulled it right out of him. He looked at her in shock while she stared at him and sent his Grace straight to hell to be torn apart and tortured with the very things he hated most.
Everything happened all at once; he collapsed to the asphalt, she watched him before hearing footsteps coming toward her and looked up just in time to see Dean with his arm raised and sunlight gleaming off something in his hand. That familiar feeling of comfort she always got upon seeing him shot through her just before an all too familiar pain seared through her chest.
She gasped and looked down to see a beautiful, gleaming silver dagger sticking out of her chest. "Seriously?" was all she could breathe before she fell to her knees.