Faith drifted to sleep and for those moments before sleep completely overtook her she felt relaxed like she had not since Jimmy had left her. She felt safe and protected and like something in her disaster of a life might go right for once. She still wasn't confident of his affections. He had seen her bruises, her giant misshapen body. There was no way he really could love her but she would take his comfort for that night. She just needed the tenderness so bad.

Hours later Faith woke and was momentarily terrified as it took her a few seconds to remember where she was and whose arms were wrapped tight around her. She was just about to nestle in tighter to him when she became aware of what had woken her. She needed to relieve herself. It was, of course, a more frequent necessity the bigger the baby inside her grew. It still left her with a problem. If she slid away from him she ran the risk of waking him of course she couldn't hold it either. With the baby there just wasn't the room in there that there once had been. She steeled herself against her fears and slowly and so carefully made her way out of his arms and to the edge of the bed. She located the chamber pot. As she relieved her bladder she couldn't help but think of what was to happen next. It had happened every time she had gotten up in the night, every time she needed to make water while he was sleeping, every time she couldn't control the tears and thought she was safe in shedding them.

As she did her business she braced herself for the hand that would grab her hair and yank her onto the bed when she finished. It had taken her a while to learn and until she had, the punches would come first before her head was forced into his groin. More punches came until she learned to open her mouth and just let it happen. With every near choking thrust into her throat came the words that hurt worse than anything he ever did to her.

"You're just a bitch!" he would yell, "A whore. The only thing you're fit for is a brothel. You ain't pretty enough for the saloon anymore."

When she was lucky he would fall right asleep after his release but there were times he would stay awake longer just to hit her some more. Eventually she just learned the routine and she would climb on the bed and take him into her mouth on her own. It didn't stop the insults but it mostly stopped the beatings.

Faith finished making her water and rose slowly. She had not been grabbed; there had been no growling of cruel words. Perhaps she had not awakened him. Tentatively she turned around and saw his eyes open, looking at her. He quickly looked away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and then got back into bed and began working at his long johns.

"Faith, what are you doing?"

"The only thing I'm good for," she whispered and he could tell the words weren't hers but they'd been planted deeply enough to have taken root in her beliefs. She rubbed him through the fabric still trying to get his long johns off of him. She was puzzled why he wouldn't let her and becoming more scared that she no longer could fill this purpose and he would just hit her. She became more frantic, rubbing him harder and trying to get a reaction to save herself.

Jimmy could not for the life of him figure out what was happening but he was concerned enough for her behavior that what she was doing was not getting a rise at all. Finally he grabbed her wrists and she looked up at him in terror. Terror, his sweet Faith was terrified of him. He rolled away for a moment to turn up the lamp. He hadn't extinguished it so that she'd have some light if she woke in the night. Turning back to her he could see her forcing herself to not inch away from him. Her eyes would not meet his. The lights finally went on in his head as her posture was exactly as his mother's when she was faced with his father. She was waiting to be hit. She was expecting him to hit her and the only think he could think that she thought she'd get hit for having to relieve herself and waking him in the process.

"Faith," he said gently, "Look at me please. It's me. It's Jimmy. It was Aaron that hurt you, wasn't it?"

Raising her eyes slowly, she'd been tricked before, there was no choice she could be hit for disobeying or hit for making eye contact. She'd gotten her lip bloodied for each in the past. She met his eyes. But they weren't Aaron's coal black eyes staring at her ruthlessly. These eyes were lighter and filled with sorrow. Jimmy. She looked down again ashamed this time that he knew. Still she nodded her head that he was right.

"I left you there," he said helplessly, "I just walked away and left you defenseless. My God I might as well have beaten you myself. How desperate did you have to be to come to the man who abandoned you? Can you even forgive me, Faith?"

Faith had been slowly edging away from him and as much as he didn't want to startle her, she was nearing a point where he was going to have to grab her before she fell right off the bed. But his words stopped her. She looked up as if he'd been speaking some nonsense words he was trying to figure out.

"Forgive you?" she asked.

Jimmy dropped his eyes wondering how he could ask forgiveness of her. He knew he'd never forgive himself. She asked him to stay. She didn't want him to go and he had. Now here she was terrified of him and nearly everyone else and covered in bruises to boot.

"I don't deserve it," he acknowledged, "You should be furious with me. You should hate me. I hate myself, I do. It ain't enough but I am so sorry."

"Hate you?" she asked as if trying to figure out what those words meant, "I don't hate you. I can't hate you."

Faith allowed a quick glance up at him and even tried a small smile.

"You took me in the way I am. You should hate me. I'm disgusting. Even if it was out of pity, I can't hate you when you've been so good to me."

"Pity? Disgusting? Did he tell you these things? How in the hell can you be disgusting?" he was trying hard not to raise his voice but was failing miserably. She only cowered more. "Of course he told you those things about yourself. It's what men like that do. I'm sure he told you plenty that ain't true. Probably that you're ugly and stupid and worthless and you should be grateful he was staying with you because no other man would have you. Sound familiar?"

Her eyes were wide looking at him as if asking how he knew.

"Heard it all said to my ma," he explained, "Wasn't true about her either. She was a good woman, like you, and real pretty too. At least I thought she was. She was my ma so I guess I was supposed to think that. Still no one deserves that kind of talk or the treatment that goes with it."

He reached to her and she tensed but held her ground. His fingers ghosted over the bruise around her eye and then lingered on her cheek.

"You are so beautiful," he told her, "These last six months I would try to picture you and you were always pretty but my memories didn't do you any kind of justice. I love you."

She just stayed still trying to process everything he had said. The words all sounded nice and he had always been so gentle with her before but then things could change. People could change.

Jimmy was just starting to wonder if she was ever going to say another word to him when her tiny voice broke through his thoughts.

"You couldn't have known," she said, "I didn't. He wasn't like that before. I didn't think he was capable of being like that."

"I should've stayed at least a while and made sure you were safe," he argued, "I love you so much and the least I could've done was assure myself that you were in good hands. I failed you. I don't deserve you, either of you."

"But you don't know what you were for me," she said, "Every time he hit me I thought of how tenderly you would stroke my face. Every punch, every bruise, every time he made me cry out in pain, I remembered how you made me cry out in pleasure. Every night spent cowering while he screamed at me what a dirty whore I was, I remembered sitting on the porch holding hands with you. You were all the strength I had."

Faith was surprised at her words but more than that she was surprised at the feeling that was welling up inside of her. It wasn't a new feeling exactly, just one she hadn't felt in a very long time. Anger. She was angry. And she was angry at so much and so many. God pretty much topped her list most days and had since the day she went out to the barn to fetch Adam for lunch and found his lifeless body on the ground. She still tried to believe that there was a reason but it didn't stop her anger. She was angry at Aaron for leaving for the war in the first place, she was angry with Jimmy for telling her he loved her and then walking away. She was angry with herself for not leaving with him or trying to persuade him to stay. If she had told him before he left that she thought she might be expecting, he would have stayed and fought. If she had told him something didn't feel right to her, she could have made him listen and stay or take her with him. She was angry with Aaron for every cruel thing he said and did to her and mostly for watching her so closely that she couldn't get word to Jimmy about the baby. Of course if she had still had allies in town that might have been different but she didn't so there was no way to sneak a message to anywhere. And now she was angry all over again at Jimmy. Whether she had the right to ask it or not, she needed one of them to feel certain and strong. She needed him to fight for her like he didn't before.

"I can't be strong anymore," she said angrily, "I've used it all and I don't have anything left. I can't do it. Please, I need you."

Then she dissolved into tears and it was like she was folding in on herself. That was what it finally took for Jimmy to crawl across the bed to her and hold her to him.

"It's going to be okay now," he said softly as he rocked her like a child in his arms. "I won't ever let anyone hurt you again. I won't ever hurt you again. You can believe that or not but I'll prove it to you. I will. I have no idea what I have to do before that little one comes but whatever it is, I'll do it. And I'll take care of you too. If I have to tell you a hundred times a day every single day that you are beautiful and wonderful and I love you just so you'll believe it, I will. But I need you to do one thing for me first."

Faith looked warily up at him.

"Come back here under the blankets and get some sleep. Whatever comes next we can tackle it in the morning after some rest."

Faith nodded and allowed herself to be pulled back up the bed and tucked into the blankets and then she was held tightly in Jimmy's arms as she drifted off to sleep.

Jimmy woke with the sun the next morning and moved quietly so as not to wake Faith. He padded out into his kitchen and started some coffee and then set to making breakfast. He had just started some bacon frying when there came a knock at the door. He peeked out the window to see Teaspoon and Buck on his porch and opened the door to them.

Teaspoon looked around and Jimmy caught his curious searching.

"She's still sleeping," he said, "Doc said she needed rest."

"How's she doing?"

"It was a rough night. I shouldn't've left her, Teaspoon. I thought it was the right thing to do but what he did to her-"

"You have to remember, son," Teaspoon offered gently, "The man was wounded, went through the good Lord only knows what, came home to find his son dead and his wife expecting another man's child. That would be enough to drive a man to his breaking point."

"He didn't hit her once," Jimmy informed him, "He got to that breaking point every day all over her for months. She's covered in bruises, even her stomach. If he was angry and didn't want her, why didn't he just put her out, send her to me or send her away to wherever?"

"I don't know," Teaspoon replied, "I don't understand and I can't defend it."

There was a pause and then Teaspoon spoke again.

"The baby is yours then?"

Jimmy nodded and he was smiling at the thought which warmed the old marshal's heart but Teaspoon could see the fear too.

"You'll be fine," Teaspoon assured him, "We'll all help you out and that child will have a right fine father."

Jimmy looked over at Buck who was assembling the story from what he could surmise from their talk.

"I can't thank you enough, Buck, for taking care of her," Jimmy said offering his hand and then thinking better of it and just hugging his poor bewildered friend. "I know I said I would explain it all but there's so much."

"Don't worry about it," Buck told him, "I think you have your hands full enough."

Jimmy turned to go and check on the food on the stove when he caught sight of Faith walking out of the bedroom yawning and stretching. He went over to her.

"Good morning, beautiful," he whispered in her ear placing a kiss on her forehead and then on her lips.

"I heard voices," she said looking concerned but nowhere near as frightened as she had been the night before.

"Let me keep breakfast from burning and then I'll introduce you."

He quickly took the pan from the stove and then went back to her and brought her to his friends although friends would never describe all they were to him. They were family in every way that really counted.

"Teaspoon, Buck," he said nodding at each of them, "This is Faith Lassiter. And this," he patted her belly, "Is, well, I don't know who it is but it someone pretty special. Faith, I know you sort of met Buck yesterday."

Faith walked toward Buck and wrapped her arms around him quickly squeezing before pulling away.

"Thank you, Buck," she said, "I'm so happy to meet you."

Buck wasn't sure what to think except that he was starting to think Faith would fit into their family very well and she was probably really good for Jimmy.

Faith turned toward Teaspoon and before Jimmy could say a thing said, "You must be Marshal Hunter. I have heard so very much about you and every bit of it was good. It's nice to finally meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Lassiter," Teaspoon said tipping his hat and giving a small bow. He regretted having said anything in defense of her husband. Aside from the black eye he had known about, her nightgown hung loose around her neckline and he could see bruises that surely continued down her chest and her sleeves were rolled a bit revealing more bruises on her wrists and arms.

"Faith, please," she said.

"Alrighty then," he said with a smile, "Faith it is but I'll be mighty offended if you don't start calling me Teaspoon."

Jimmy was beaming at how quickly Faith was being accepted and then he looked down at her still horribly swollen feet.

"Sweetheart, you really should sit down and prop those feet," he said guiding her to a chair and then propping her feet up onto another chair. She looked at the other men.

"I'd argue but he'd just pick me up and carry me here anyway," she told them and there was something in her that was almost proud of having a man who fussed over her instead of hit her.

Teaspoon and Buck didn't want to outstay their welcome so they said their goodbyes and Jimmy followed them out onto the porch.

"I'm trying to decide if I'm upset or flattered to have the two of you checking up on me," Jimmy said once he closed the front door behind him. His smile faded when he saw the serious look on Teaspoon's face. "What?"

"She tell you all what happened?" Teaspoon asked, "I mean, like why she up and ran when she did. She put up with this for six months and now she's here. Now maybe it was just the first chance she got to get away but maybe something happened and I think you need to know what it was."

"She really don't want to talk about it right now," Jimmy protested.

"Is that really it or is it more that you don't want to know?"

With that Teaspoon and Buck walked to their waiting horses and rode off leaving Jimmy to ponder. Of course there wasn't much to ponder. If he insisted, she would tell him but he hadn't because he didn't want to think about what she'd endured. He knew what he would want to do, what he already wanted to do and he knew that would help no one at this point. He wanted to kill Aaron Lassiter. Only shooting him was too good for him, too quick, too merciful. He had shown no mercy to Faith, a woman he had once claimed to love. Jimmy shook his head and thought that she was with him now and whatever she had been through and whatever hard times there were to come, she would be with him and he could help her and he worked a smile onto his face before walking back in and getting breakfast finished.

After they ate, Jimmy sat down next to Faith and took her hand.

"I know you probably still don't want to talk about all this and I admit I don't really want to hear it but there are some things I need to know."

She nodded and took a breath and then paused as if she needed to arrange her thoughts. Jimmy was grateful for the pause so he could brace himself for whatever was to come. He knew enough to know that he probably could have lost them both and never even known about it. He had to stop thinking of that. She needed him to be strong and he needed to find a way to manage that.

"I don't even know where to start," Faith said bringing him from his thoughts.

"How about you start at the beginning, when he came home," Jimmy suggested.

"There was something different about him," she said, "But he had been badly injured, had lost an eye and his face was very scarred. I had no idea what all had happened so I suppose I expected him to be a little different and we had to learn each other again. I guess I was timid too. I felt like he was almost a stranger and then there he was in my bed. He placed no demands on me at first and most of the time he was so sweet to me. We did share some tender moments. I had an idea that I might be expecting but I wasn't sure and I didn't want to bring up that suspicion when he had just gotten there. It didn't seem the right way to start things off. I should have told you before you left that I suspected it. I bear the blame for so much."

Jimmy started to speak but she held up her hand to stop him.

"Please don't. There is plenty enough blame to go around," she sighed and then went on with her story. "It was the first time we went into town that started things going so badly. Mrs. White had to come up and make some comment about how loose I had been in his absence while he was recovering from war wounds and how I could take up with a man with such a notorious reputation."

If Jimmy hadn't already harbored a death wish for Eunice White, that would have surely created one.

"Aaron was livid all the way home," she continued, "Ranting at how I had made him a laughing stock to the whole town and I begged him to understand how lonely I had been and how grieved when I was told of his death and then when Adam died and that it wasn't as if I knew he was out there. I was a widow as far as anyone, including the United States government, was concerned. He settled down and I thought things might be alright but then I became certain that I was carrying a child. I had to tell him, he was going to figure it out soon enough anyway when I could no longer hide the tummy and that day was coming faster and faster because he was so much more insistent about me performing my wifely duties for him so I could not hide under clothes."

She took a breath and blinked a couple of times.

"The day I told him about the baby was the first time he hit me," she went on, "He had never so much as raised his voice to me before he left and without any warning he raised his hand and hit me across the face. It got worse after that. I had no freedom whatsoever. If he went into town I went into town and if he did not then I did not. The most freedom I had in my day was hanging the wash or chopping vegetables for supper. Those times he would just sit in Adam's room and cry. Of course he always emerged from that room in the foulest of moods. I would say he was the most violent then but there really wasn't a time when he didn't have the potential for being very cruel. He would berate me and hit me and force me to…to…"

She looked away from Jimmy at the memory of every time he shoved her against the wall and lifted her skirt. Once he had shoved her so hard and so abruptly that she feared for her belly hitting the wall too hard. Her hands had gone to her middle to protect her baby which meant her face had no defense. She had come away with a broken nose and split lip.

Jimmy squeezed her hand tighter reminding her that she was with him and not with Aaron and that she was safe.

"E-everything you said last night," she continued, "He said all those things and more, anything he could think of to hurt me and make me believe I deserved what was happening."

"Did you think of how to get away?"

"It's the only thing I thought of besides you," she answered, "I would try to find times when I knew I could get a few minutes to myself. I didn't figure that I would have a chance until the baby came. I knew we'd go into church then and thought maybe I could talk to Pete. I didn't know him so well but he was your friend and he had a good reputation for being fair."

"How did you get away sooner?"

"Aaron forced my hand but then gave me the perfect opportunity," she said, "It got worse for me the bigger I got. I guess you know how he reacted when I had to get up in the night and happened to wake him. He didn't stop at calling me a whore anymore. He called me murderer and said I had killed Adam. Then he caught me in the kitchen one day and wanted, well, I suppose you can figure what he wanted. I didn't comply fast enough he must have thought because he grabbed a knife and threatened to cut the baby out of me. He said it was making me fat and slow and I'd either get faster for it being gone or bleed to death and he didn't even care which. Those threats went for a few days and I had no chance to get away. As long as I did what he wanted and didn't talk back at him, he still only used his fists on me but he started hitting me in the stomach. On a kind day for him he would tell me we'd leave the child at a church and maybe someone would take it in and the rest of the time he would tell me he would kill it as soon as it was out of me and often he would threaten to take it by force. I was terrified. Whatever he had me believing about myself, this baby is innocent and I had to protect it."

"That tells me why you needed to get out when you did," Jimmy said with a shudder thinking of what that man had nearly taken from him, "But it still doesn't tell me the how."

"I have you to thank for that, sort of," she told him with a hint of a smile through the tears she'd been crying. "Remember when we cleaned out your room in town? Well there was half a bottle of whiskey in there and you said to leave it but I didn't. I kept it in a cupboard in the kitchen. He found it and at first I thought it was the worst thing ever. In all the times he had beaten me, he had been sober and once he got drunk he gave me one of the worst beatings I ever had. But then he did something that shocked me. He wanted more whiskey and he went into town looking for more. I was alone. Really alone. I didn't know for how long so I had to make it count. I rounded up all the money in the house and everything of value and packed it up. I saddled a horse and rode for town. I was so afraid at first that he would see me but then even the worst of the people in the town would have seen how bad off I was and wouldn't have let him hit me. I didn't need to fear though. He was in the saloon, I guess. I went to see Pete and he got me on the next stage out. You said you were coming here first so this is where I went. I could have gotten to Omaha if you hadn't been."

She was crying but holding her head high and Jimmy sat there clinging to her hand completely devastated by what he had heard. He tenderly placed his hand on the protrusion of her middle and then lowered his head and rested it atop where the baby—his baby—was growing and still moving. His arms wrapped around her and he kissed her belly. Then he looked at her with reddened, moist eyes.

"You are amazing, you know that?"

Show of hands...who wants to run in and give them both big squishy hugs?-J