Maurice loved Valentine's Day.

Sure, it wasn't as good as Christmas, but, as well as being his birthday, it was just fun. He'd always liked giving all of the little people in the town near where he lived candy and hugs and sometimes he kissed them if they looked like they wanted him to. Or if he wanted to.

Roger just wasn't getting the importance of Valentine's Day, however.

"C'mon Roger, you should at least send your girlfriend a card," Maurice said. They were at breakfast. "I mean, I'm telling those little dwarf-things to give random people cards that tell them that they're awesome signed 'Affection Man.' They'll never figure it out."

Roger rolled his eyes.

"See, once you send her a card, you jump out from behind a statue or something and then grab her face and," Maurice paused and grabbed Roger's face. "Kiss her!"

Roger shoved him away. Maurice grinned. Harold muttered something about how they were all stupid and stalked away. Jack glanced over from his discussion with Draco.

"You know, Roger, if you like her, you should tell her. It won't be long before the mandrakes are ready and that mudblood is un-petrified."

"Tell her like you're going to tell Ralph that you have a major crush on him?" Maurice pointed out, then left the table with Roger. Jack was red and denying ever liking boys, let alone Ralph. Especially not Ralph. Because Ralph was annoying because Ralph was attractive and this wasn't really helping, was it?

"Keep going. I have to do something," Maurice said. Roger shrugged and kept walking. Maurice caught hold of one of the dwarf-things. "You see the guy I was with? Roger? Send him a singing one."

"From Affection Man?"

"Anonymous."

"'Kay."

Maurice gave him the details and caught up to Roger, who by now looked suspicious. "What were you doing?" he asked. Maurice grinned.

"Nothing you need to worry about!"

Roger still looked suspicious.

After Transfiguration, one of the dwarf-things made a beeline for him. Roger looked at it and walked faster. He looked like he was contemplating stabbing it multiple times. Or perhaps hacking it up with an axe.

"Af- Anonymous says to have a lovely day and that your eyes remind Anonymous of chocolate that nobody wants to eat because it's not sweet enough and-"

Roger left before it could finish.

Maurice had chosen one of the less enthusiastic dwarf-things. It turned to him and shrugged, then waddled away.

Maurice followed Roger, who glared at him as soon as he appeared.

"You."

"What of course not," Maurice said, giggling. Roger looked positively murderous. "So, did you end up sending your girlfriend a card?"

Maurice was bored.

After Valentine's Day, Roger had refused to speak to him for about a week. Maurice annoyed Harold and Jack and those people.

It was during these annoying-people-times that he learned something quite interesting.

"You know the Groundskeeper?" Jack asked. Maurice nodded. "They took him off to Azkaban. Because he's the one killing the mudbloods."

"My father took him away," Draco said, popping into their conversation. "My father-"

"I doubt he's the heir of Slytherin," Jack said. Draco glared at him, but Jack took no notice. "He's too stupid."

"He was it fifty years ago," Draco said.

"Yeah, right," Jack snorted. "By the way, Maurice, where's Roger?"

"I embarrassed him on Valentine's Day and now he doesn't like me," Maurice said. "It's just a phase. This has happened before."

At that Roger, approached them and sat down beside Maurice.

"I told you."

Maurice was playing with Nemesis while Roger got dressed. The kitten had grown quite a bit in the few months since Christmas – she was now large enough to drag Roger's robes all over and hide them from him. Maurice was convinced he'd chosen the right kitten for Roger. Even though there had been a really mean-looking black one.

"Who do you think the heir of Slytherin is?" Roger asked suddenly, crawling under his bed to find his tie. Maurice thought about it, then shrugged.

"Dunno," he said, pulling his finger back as Nemesis swiped at it. "Your cat hates me."

"Good."

Okay, this is really short. But. At least it exists.

Also, updates may randomly stop sometime through November, depending on how much I get written ahead of time.
I'm doing NaNoWriMo, an event in which you write a 50,000 word novel in a month. It's fun. I suggest everyone should try it, even if they're not going to be serious about it.