Chapter Thirteen: Cana
I woke up earlier than I expected. The sun shone through the window and nearly blinded me. I groaned, rolling over onto my side. The hot spring was relaxing but then right after that was finished; I went back to worrying about everything. I kept thinking about Gray and how I'd hurt him so much. Then I figured it would be fine since I would have a talk with him about it; but then I'd have to see the hurt in his face and the cycle would repeat in my head.
"I barely got any sleep," I grumbled, rubbing my tired eyes. It was going to be bad for my health if I didn't get this problem solved soon.
I will definitely talk to him about it today! I decided. Then, if it didn't work, at least I could sleep tonight knowing I'd tried. I hopped out of bed and started getting dressed, did my bathroom stuff and my hair and figured I'd eat in the guild.
As I walked to the guild, it seemed lively and loud as usual which I usually loved. Today though, I tuned out everyone and started looking around for the familiar navy-haired mage.
There he is! I finally saw him, sitting at a table and talking with the other members. He turned and met my eyes for the briefest second. At that moment, everyone else seemed to disappear and I only saw Gray. And in that brief second, all I saw was pain.
I ran out of the guild. I really couldn't even look at him without seeing that raw pain perfectly clear on his face. As I ran, I suddenly bumped into someone.
"Oof!" I said as I hit someone and automatically said, "Gomenasai!"
"Hey, Lucy," said a cheerful voice, "Ne, are you OK?"
I opened my eyes and saw Natsu looking at me concernedly.
"Natsu!" I said, suddenly remembering his invitation, "Hey, come on, we're going to that sushi place right now."
"EH?" said Natsu, "What happened for you to be charging out of the guild like that anyway?"
"That doesn't matter; let's go," I said, practically dragging him along.
"Lucy's gone scary, Natsu," said Happy.
"I have not!" I said as we went into the sushi place and I sat down at the counter, "Mister, I want one of everything on your menu!"
"Lucy, are you OK?" asked Natsu with wide eyes, muttering, "I think my wallet's going to be really empty after this…"
"I'm paying," I said as the first sushi came, "Besides, you eat when you're nervous."
"Why are you nervous?" asked Natsu, helping himself to some sushi.
"Because… of Gray," I finally said, "He's making me really nervous and our relationship is a mess right now."
"OK…" said Natsu, "You know, I actually have no idea what the hell you're talking about since you won't actually talk about anything but…" he put his hand over mine on the countertop, "It'll be OK; whatever you're worrying about."
His hand felt warm over mine; comforting.
"Arigato," I smiled and I meant it. Then, after a second of hesitation, I hugged him, "Really, Natsu, thanks. It really means a lot to me."
Natsu seemed a bit surprised at first but then smiled and hugged me back, "What are friends for?"
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Gray's POV
I came into the guild and everything was as it normally was. Everyone shouting over the top of one another, huge barrels of alcohol being passed around except unlike most days, I didn't exactly appreciate the noise anymore. I had barely slept last night, worrying about Lucy. She was nearly killed by a Dark Guild if not for three rebellions that I owed my life to and she most probably hated me. Were both those incidents because of me?
"Oi, Gray!" shouted Cana, waving from a large table consisting of about half the guild, "Over here!"
I smiled and went over to sit at a spare spot. Everyone was yelling and arguing in a joking matter.
"You and onee-san going on a mission?" said Lisanna, wide-eyed at Erza.
"Yeah," said Erza, "Starting tomorrow, we're leaving on an S-Rank mission for two weeks! It's going to be exciting. She and I, despite everything, were quite a duo two years ago."
"Like me and Natsu?" I said, lifting my head. Everyone stared wide-eyed at me.
"Nani?" I asked, really having no idea what they staring at.
"What's with those bags under your eyes?" asked Jet, "You hardly get them, man. Didn't you sleep well last night? It wasn't very hot..."
"Just, nightmares," I lied.
"What kind of nightmare would keep you up at night?" asked Erza, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Just nightmares, don't worry about it!" I said, "I'll sleep better tonight."
If I'm not thinking about her, he mentally tacked on at the end, Lucy… how am I supposed to bear it if she hates me now?
"Hey, Gray, are you OK?" asked Alzack, "You look like you're in pain."
"It's nothing," I said, pretty frustrated that the pain could show so easily on my face.
I looked away and saw for a brief second, her. She had just come in, I assumed and her eyes widened at the sight of me. In that same second which seemed more like a year, pain was clearly visible on her face too. Before I could say something, she turned around and ran out of the guild.
"Was that Lucy?" said Freed, looking at the doors just as they shut again, "What was the matter with her?"
"I… have to go," I said, getting up and running out as well.
"Oi, Gray, wait a minute—!" said Levy, worry in her voice.
"Leave him," said Erza, taking a bite of shortcake, "It's better we don't get ourselves involved with their business."
As I burst out of the doors, I looked around for her but she'd already disappeared somewhere.
Where could she have gone? I thought, unable to take it anymore. If Lucy had been in pain trying not to hurt my feelings, I'd talk to her today so she could get all her feelings out. Then at least one of us wouldn't be hurt anymore.
I went into the nearby stores and restaurants, asking if they'd seen a blonde Celestial mage. All of them shook their heads as they were too busy managing their stores or restaurants to take much notice of anything else.
As I ran around half the town, I kept rehearsing speeches in my head, although all of them had their faults like it would sound like I was accusing her or generally sounding like a jerk. Finally, I just decided I'd wing it when I saw her.
As I ended up in a familiar street just near Fairy Tail, I stopped to catch my breath. Who knew one person would be so hard to find? I started walking so I could cool down. It wouldn't be the ideal conversation I'd like to have if I was sweating a waterfall and panting every five words. Then a voice sounded through the air, "Gray!"
I looked up eagerly but saw it was just Cana. She ran across one of the bridges over the river. I smiled but as she got near, she started resembling a bomb about to explode, furious with a glare that could sink the Titanic.
"Cana?" I said kind of nervous now.
"GRAY FULLBUSTER!" yelled female mage, jumping as she got near me and punching me in the head with the strength of a rhino.
"Ow!" I yelled, grabbing my head which I was sure an egg was now, "What the hell was that for?"
"What the hell were you doing suddenly running out of the guild like a crazy man?" countered Cana, "You know, ever since you got back from your 'holiday' which I never actually believed but anyway, you've been acting really strange and having a lack of sleep. Then you randomly run out of the guild like you were on fire! Isn't it natural for me to worry?"
"I thought Erza told you to stay out of it," I said, appreciating Cana's concern but I just really needed to find Lucy.
"When do I ever listen to anyone?" said Cana, "Anyway, you don't have to tell me what your problem is in case it's private but I'm worried about your health and well-being. Also, if you need anyone to talk to, I'm always here."
"You don't need to worry," I said, "I can take care of myself; I have for almost a decade."
Cana sighed and rolled her eyes, walking past me, "Fine; sorry for worrying," she said sarcastically. Then she sighed again, sounding less sarcastic this time and turned around, looking at me, "I was friends with you ever since we were little, Gray. You were there for me when I had no one else. Ever since then, I always felt I had owed you something. I wanted to be there for you when I thought you had no one." With that, she turned back around and walked away.
I groaned. Cana was one of my best friends but I didn't need anyone's sympathy right now. I just needed to find Lucy and work things out.
Where the hell is she? I thought, turning around to a sushi place when a blonde caught my eye.
She had her back to me but her hair was tied up in a ponytail, same blue and white clothes, black boots, and a belt with Celestial keys. There could be no doubt. A person next to her also caught my eye. He was pink-haired, had a white scarf and same clothes to a certain Dragon Slayer.
Natsu? I thought, clearly baffled. Lucy, even from her back view, didn't seem nearly as stressed or hurt when she was with me. She smiled and talked with Natsu who smiled and talked back. On the countertop, I could see, Natsu's hand was laid over Lucy's.
What…? I thought when suddenly, Lucy hugged him. Even if hugs were things you saw everyday, in this particular scene, it seemed intimate and something I shouldn't have been spying on. I took a step back when they pulled apart and their twin necklaces moved about. They shone as if the sun's brightness had somehow been transferred into them.
My hands shook until the shaking spread to the rest of my body. Had Lucy loved Natsu all along? She hadn't loved me to start with? It would explain why she had gone half-insane over the pictures in Sorcerer's Magazine some time ago and why she was so awkward around me now. I had confessed I loved her but she loved Natsu?
It wasn't as if she was exactly cheating, not that I thought hugging was cheating, since we never had a relationship to start with and she had told me she didn't love me in that way. But I felt betrayed in a way. Like those times we had kissed and she was pining for Natsu the whole time?
I breathed in and out for I didn't even know how many times until I started to feel whole again. I walked away from the restaurant and towards the forest. As I neared, I saw Cana, sitting in the shade of a tree, probably about to take a nap. She opened an eye as I came near, "Gray?"
"You were right," I said, standing in front of her, "I have no one." Natsu, despite everything, was one of the best friends I could have ever asked for. And now he wasn't there. Erza was a close friend as well but she wasn't going to be here for a while as of tomorrow. Neither was Mira. Happy would most probably be with Natsu.
"I saw the scene inside the sushi place," said Cana, "I pieced some of it together. So… what can I do for you?"
"Well, can we go talk…?" I said. Everyone always said it made you feel better if you got some stuff off your chest. Cana was a woman as well so she could give me advice from a woman's perspective.
Cana looked at me emotionlessly and I realised I had pushed her away when she had offered me help the first time. Her face was hard as stone and her look was as cold as ice.
"Uh…" I said awkwardly, as she continued to stare at me unblinking like the Queen might have stared at Snow White.
Just as I thought about waving my hand in front of her face since she wasn't moving at all, not even breathing or blinking, she sighed and closed her eyes for a second. When she reopened them, she smiled and I finally felt safe, "Sure, let's talk. Friends always have to be there for each other, right?" she stood up, "So where do you want to talk?"
Ice Make… I thought, my magic circle appearing, Wings.
My ice wings sprouted and moved perfectly. Cana's eyes widened just as I remembered she hadn't seen this before, "What the…? When did you—?"
"I learned it from Lyon. He was… in the same holiday spot." I hadn't lied for a while and I seemed to have begun to suck at it.
"Uh huh," said Cana sarcastically, obviously she hadn't believed my lie, "Well anyway, what's with the wings? Where are we going?"
"To my favourite place," I said, holding out my hand, "Are you coming?"
Cana smiled and took my hand, "Let's go."
"OK," I said, bending down to pick her up bridal style.
"Hey, hey, hey, what the heck are you doing?" said Cana, edging back a couple of steps, "We're just friends thank you very much."
"Picking you up; how else am I supposed to lift you up so we can get there quickly?" I asked, "If you get on my back, you'd squish my wings, if I pick you up around your stomach or back, the slightest loose grip could send you falling to your death so what else am I supposed to do?"
"Fine," said Cana, allowing me to pick her up. As I flew up, Cana looked at the surroundings, a huge smile on her face as she took in the beautiful landscape. As she did so, my imagination wandered. Would I ever feel the same feelings for Cana that I do with Lucy?
Sure, Cana was nice and confident. She was strong and beautiful but I never saw her more than a friend. A good friend. When we were little, she was my support pole. Someone to keep me from falling and always there for me. If Lucy hadn't been in my life, I might have eventually fallen for Cana.
But she's not Lucy.