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not beta'd

storyline - 'Laugh'

prompt word - first

Sleep was futile.

I felt like I'd lost my other half.

Maybe I should have tried harder to get him to stay, really worked for it.

I rolled over in bed, patting the cold sheets on the other side. Our room…my room… was just barely lit now, filmy predawn purple. The first thing I saw was the picture of us, the one on the night stand. He'd left that behind, it seemed.

A wave of grief crushed my heart and for a moment I lay still, letting myself cry.

Even when we had begun to drift away from one another he had still been there, and I realized his physical presence was what had kept me afloat even when he was emotionally absent.

But where had I been during all that time? Too afraid to look things in the eye? What happened to the boy from senior prom? To the one who'd covered my eyes when he'd found our first apartment?

What had happened to me?

Had I really failed us so badly?

My cell phone blinked, alerting me to missed messages.

Wiping my eyes, I reached for it.

Two messages: a concerned one from Rosalie, and a brief one from Edward.

Please talk to me.

It was early where I was, and where he was too, but not as early. He'd gone east, and was at least an hour ahead of me now. Whereas the night before talking to him had squeezed my heart, now not talking to him was doing damage.

I pressed his name delicately.

"Bella?" He sounded groggy; he'd definitely been sleeping.

"Yeah… I got your text," I said, chewing my thumbnail.

"Oh…okay." He paused, and I heard rustling sheets. "I'm glad you called."

"Ugh, you sound so formal," I said, swallowing back a sob. "This isn't you. Or me."

"I miss you."

His words both buoyed my heart and drowned it. "You don't get to miss me."

"But I do."

"Then why did you go?"

"Because I had to. We weren't the same anymore."

I stayed quiet, not having an argument for that.

"And anyway, this promotion gives me what I've always wanted professionally. It would have –"

"I'm glad you have that, at least," I said, and I meant it.

"It's all I have though," he said, his voice thick with sadness. "I wish you were here."

"It took you leaving me to figure that out?" I cried, flopping back down in to the sheets. "That's crap."

"I know," he said.

"You left so many things behind," I sighed. "You left the boxers… and the picture by your side of the bed…"

"I took the one from the hallway."

I slipped out of bed, shivering when my feet hit the hard wood floor. The empty spot on the wall in the hallway confirmed what he'd said and I ran my fingers across it.

"Bella?"

"I'm here."

"I am sorry."

I shrugged to myself. "Me too."

"I…" He trailed off. I wondered what it was he really wanted to say. "I should… I should get ready now that I'm up. First day jitters and all that…"

"Good luck," I murmured tonelessly, making my way in to the kitchen to start my own day. "Good bye."

Too early for me, as well. But it was better than staying in bed.

"Bye, Bella."

I put the coffee on to percolate.

And wondered how long to would take for one of us to bend, and then break.

there are currently 4 STORYLINES. two are angsty ("beginning" and "Laugh"). two are fluffy ("Countdown" and "Heart", aka Crystal Beachin'.)

every prompt will fall under one of these four storylines, unless i get ideas and start a new one. which... could happen.