Ahahaha, sorry it's so late...
But in return, it's nice and long, so yay!
15 REVIEWS! OMG! KEEP IT UP GUYS THAT WAS AWESOME!
"Hey you." The voice sounded from the doorway, permeated with a smirk, jarring Jin out of her deep, exhausted sleep. "Get up, sleepyhead."
"Jiro, go away." The girl mumbled, her face buried in the thin pillow. Rather than leave like she had wanted him to, her brother merely chuckled, and walked towards the bed, squinting in the dying light. "I mean it."
"Fine then." Jiro shrugged. "Ma just wanted me to call you for dinner, but if you're not hungry, I guess I can-"
"I'm up!" Jin jumped out of the bed she had collapsed on five hours before, rubbing at her eyes. "Don't you dare eat my share, pig." She punched her twin in the arm for effect, before walking out of her tiny bedroom.
"Hey, that hurt!" Jiro frowned, but followed the girl into the family room. "Why were you asleep all afternoon anyway?"
"Because." Jin said shortly, pausing in the narrow, dark passage. "I didn't sleep last night."
"Why not?" The teenager frowned. "Oh man, you went out and didn't invite me? Or did you go and see someone, if you know what I-"
"Yes, I know what you mean." Jin rolled her eyes. "And no, I didn't. I just lay awake all night unable to sleep, okay? I got a lot on my mind." Don't think about him, don't think about him...
Too late. She winced, before stepping into the warm, brightly-lit room, her heart sinking further as Lee's face flashed across her mind. Dammit.
"Have a good sleep Jin?" Her father asked kindly from his place at the low table. Jin nodded wordlessly, forcing a smile before kneeling down in front of her place setting, between her mother, and her youngest brother, Chang.
"Smells great, Ma." Jin accepted the rice and vegetables gratefully, her stomach growling all over again, despite the fact she had a pretty substantial meal six hours ago. Lee was right, I do have a big appetite.
Dammit, not again!
"Uh-huh." Chang had already devoured half of his share, the six-year-old getting more on his face and clothes than in his mouth in his hurry. "'S good."
"Chang, slow down!" Jin scolded her sibling. "Did you not get back for lunch or something?"
"Nope, he was too busy playing with his friends." Hai smirked. "He was an hour later than he said he would be and Ma said he wasn't getting anything 'til dinner."
"Well, Chang knows how I feel about him roaming about by himself for too long." Shan said reprovingly. "That goes for you too, Hai. There's too many cutthroats and pickpockets about. I was worried sick when you didn't come home on time."
"Calm down, Ma." Jiro argued. "Jin and I used to be gone all day and we never got into any trouble." He shared a quick wink with Jin. Trouble she knew about, anyway. Jin took a sip of her tea. Jasmine. Mushi's favourite, he brews it so well...
Jin, stop it!
"All the same." Shan looked sternly at her children. "Sometimes I feel as though I give you kids too much rope."
"Aw, Ma, no!" Chang pouted, his food finished. "Don't say that! There's no way I'm sittin' at home all day."
"Me neither." Hai cut in. "It's boring! We can't even play in the back yard!"
"It's safer, Hai." Shan eyed her middle son. "You kids, you honestly don't know how lucky you are, to have what we have. A roof, food, beds, and our family in one piece. That's more than what many people have in this city."
"I know, I know." Hai gave a long-suffering sigh. "But, I mean, what else am I going to do all day?"
"Perhaps it is time to think about going to work?" The family stilled at the sound of Renshu's voice, Hai paling at his fathers' suggestion.
"Renshu, no." Shan admonished her husband. "He just turned twelve a month ago, give him time."
"Jiro was at work by eleven." The man argued. "Jin started two weeks after her twelfth birthday. We could use the money Shan."
"We're getting along just fine." Shan responded, glaring at her husband across the table. The four children looked away nervously, caught in the middle. Jiro placed a hand on Hai's shoulder, squeezing gently. "Hai doesn't need to work."
"I don't mean all the time." Renshu said patiently. "And I don't mean heavy labour. I spoke to my brother-in-law Shirong today. He's looking for an apprentice for his wood-turning business."
"Hey wait a sec!" Jiro argued. "Why can't I do that! C'mon, I shovel coal all day!"
"No, you shovel it and then bend when no one else is looking." Jin corrected her brother, who just shot her an evil glare. "What, it's true."
"Because, Jiro." The man sighed at his eldest surviving son. "Being a craftsman requires patience and sensitivity, both of which you lack."
"... Does Uncle Shirong really want me?" Hai said slowly.
"You know Uncle Shirong and Aunt Lan had no children of their own. The only other male relatives your age are all as rambunctious and loud as Jiro." The teenager frowned at his father. "They don't have your tolerance and focus."
"... Shirong does do well for himself." Shan was weakening. "Some of his spindles are even sold in the upper ring."
"Exactly." Renshu said. "This is the opportunity for him to make something of himself. When Shirong passes, Hai will take over the business and lead a life of great prosperity."
"Before you make a decision, maybe you should ask Hai." Jin quietly reminded her parents. The family turned their attention to the prepubescent boy, who was staring very thoughtfully at his empty dish, which was actually made by Uncle Shirong himself. "Hai?" She ventured. "What do you think?"
"... How often would I be working?" He asked, still looking at the bowl. "And for how long?"
"Three times a week." The middle-aged man replied. "The hours that the shop is open for business, maybe longer. It is a lot." Renshu admitted. "But you won't be working every day. And it's not hard labour."
"Is it even paid?" Jiro butted in. "I didn't think apprentices got paid. And if they do, it's a pittance."
"He won't get paid for the first year." His father said. "But he'll be learning a skill, which is much more valuable than a years' wage in the long run."
"All that work without pay?" Hai complained. "Not even a little bit?"
"Ask if you can take what you make home." Jin suggested. "Hai, take it. You have no idea how miserable and depressing unskilled labour is."
"Yeah." Jiro agreed. "You wake up way too early in the morning, you never get a break, your back hurts, your arms hurt, your legs hurt, you get paid almost nothing..."
"... Your boss is a complete cow." Jin continued. "You come home so exhausted you can't do anything for the rest of the day, you get sick from all the illnesses people spread, you-"
"The pair of you stop it!" Shan bumped her fist on the table. The twins jumped. "I will not have that talk at the table."
"But Ma, it's true!" Jiro argued. "It's hell! Hai should know that before he makes a mistake and throws away his chance."
"I'm going to fill the coal bucket." The woman stood up abruptly, seizing the large metal pail from beside the stove. The other five were silent as Shan marched out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
"That was very disrespectful of you." Renshu scolded.
"Yeah, Jiro." Jin agreed. "You-"
"No, you too Jin." The girl fell silent, her heart sinking. "Do either of you understand how much it hurts your mother to see the two of you working so hard? Do you know how much pain she went through, sending you to work when you were so young?"
"It's not her fault, though." Jin argued. "We had no money, and Chang was on the way. We had to go to work."
"Yes, but that's not how she sees it." Renshu shook his head. "Even though you are sixteen, you two are still her babies. She still finds it her job to raise and protect the pair of you. She feels as though she failed."
"She hasn't." Jin was stricken. "How can she think that? Everyone sends their kids to work now, you have to. If she failed, then every mother in Ba Sing Se has failed. She's not a failure."
"Yeah, she's the best mother ever." Jiro agreed.
"Have you ever said that to her?" Renshu pointed out, pushing his bowl away. Jin and Jiro both fell very silent, unable to raise their gaze from the tabletop.
"I... Always thought it was a given." Jiro said. "Not something you had to tell her."
"I thought she knew, too." Jin folded her hands in her lap. "She did a great job raising us. How can she think otherwise?"
"That's what I try to tell her, but she won't listen." Renshu said solemnly. "She's stubborn and firm in her beliefs."
"Well, she has to stop believing she failed." Jin said firmly, standing up and beginning to collect the dishes. "Jiro's not in trouble with the Dai Li, and I'm not pregnant. That's something to be proud of, for a start."
"I'm not in trouble because I don't get caught." Jiro said proudly, but his expression quickly grew serious. "You're right though. We're pretty well-behaved for kids our age."
"You certainly are." Renshu smiled. "I am proud of the pair of you. You are both growing up and becoming so mature and considerate."
"Glad to hear it, Dad." Jiro beamed. "And hey, because we are such excellent, mature, law-abiding citizens that you are so proud of, can Jin and I go out?"
"What?" Both Renshu and Jin frowned, the girl sitting back down on her cushion, dishes neatly stacked beside the washing basin.
"You know, out." Jiro said. "You just said how well-behaved we are, come on. Jin's gone all funny for some reason, she needs a night out. And I got a bonus today for working extra hard. Please Dad?"
"... Oh, all right." He sighed. "The both of you can get out of my hair for a few hours I suppose." Renshu looked sternly at the pair of them "But I want you home by eleven. Not a moment later. You both have work tomorrow."
"Yes! Thanks Dad!" Jiro jumped up from the table, making a dash for his room. "C'mon Jin, you got fifteen minutes to get ready." Reluctantly, Jin got up off the table, and followed her brother.
"What is this even about?" Jin frowned when they were in the passage. "Jiro, I don't want to go out."
"Sure you do." Jiro said easily, pausing outside the small bedroom he shared with his two brothers. "Come on, it'll be fun. We'll go to the Pit, meet up with some friends, have a few drinks, a few laughs... Look, you were up all night angsting about something. You need to de-stress and relax. Take your mind off things."
"... Well..." Jin bit her lip. True, she felt as though everything was reminding her about Lee, and it was only making her feel worse as time wore on. Maybe it was what she needed. Besides, it couldn't really hurt, could it? "Oh, all right." She finally sighed after a full minute of consideration.
"Awesome!" Jiro beamed. "Now go change, and I'll see you in ten minutes. Be ready."
"You got it." Jin forced a smile, before heading towards her own bedroom.
Ooh, I hope I don't end up regretting this...
"I thought you were too tired?" Jin jumped. Lien stood a few feet away, her hands on her hips with one eyebrow raised. "You didn't have to lie to me, Jin."
"I didn't." Jin protested weakly. "I didn't wanna come, but Jiro convinced me." At the mention of her twin brother, Lien perked up, one hand self-consciously rising to her hair.
"Jiro?" Lien carefully tucked her hair behind her ears. "Where is he?" She sat down beside Jin on the cushioned bench that ringed the questionable bar.
"Went to get a couple of glasses of maotai." Jin blew at her bangs, arms crossed. "I bet he ran into his stupid friends." She leaned a little further back, slouching in the bench. "Either that or he forgot where I was." It was another possibility. The Pit, as it was affectionately dubbed by its' mainly young clientele, was a tavern. Built, as its' name suggested, underground, the walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of earth. Due to the constricting jurisdiction of the Dai Li, it was the only tavern in that part of the city which hadn't been shut down due to drunken fights and riots. As a result, it was nearly always bursting at the seams, crammed with sometime hundreds of people. The administration of Ba Sing Se had little concern for the entertainment for their lower-class citizens, and as a result, the Pit, or similar establishments, dark, seedy saloons and pubs, were the all that the people who weren't chained to a demanding household really had to do. They didn't exactly have much appreciation for fine arts, or even sports.
"Well, look who it is." Jiro said grandly as he approached the two girls.
"Thanks." Jin accepted the drink sullenly. Jiro raised an eyebrow. "What? I said thank you."
"So she's just as miserable at home, huh?" Lien frowned. "Seriously Jin, what's going on? If this is about Lee, It-"
"It's what." Jin muttered testily.
"It's stupid!" Lien waved her arms. "I mean, come on! You can't mope around like this. Look around you, girl! What do you see?"
"... Dozens of kids drinking cheap booze because they have nothing better to do?" Jiro chuckled.
"Nooo..." The girl sighed in frustration. "Man-meat, Jin! C'mon, don't hang yourself up on that loser and get in there!"
"Lee isn't a loser." Jin protested weakly. "He's..." She trailed off. "Look. Maybe this isn't such a good idea." She stood, and made to leave, but was stopped by her brother. "Jiro, go away."
"No way. Lien's right. I dragged you out here for a reason sis. You used to knock back the drink faster than Nianzu on a good night. What happened?"
"Nothing happened." Jin wrenched herself free of the male, pressing her half-finished drink into his hand. "I just don't feel like it, Jiro, okay? Not tonight, Not.." She sighed. "Look, forget it. I'm going home. Have fun with Lien, she's glad to see you here."
"Jin-"
"I'll see the both of you later." She marched away from the pair, pushing her way through the crowd of bodies. I knew this was a bad idea. Jin scowled. This isn't something I want to drink and dance away, no matter how what Jiro claims. I can't pretend it's not happening! I can't-
"Oof!" She gasped as she bumped into a tall figure, not looking where she was going.
"Watch it, would you?" He snapped, his drink slopped all the over his clothing.
"Sorry." Jin pushed her hair out of her eyes, turning away. Catching a glimpse of her face, the teenager started.
"Jin, wait!" She paused, eyes widening as she took in the features of the boy she had unwittingly bumped into.
"Riku?" She blinked. "I... I haven't seen you in ages." She forced a smile. "How have you been?"
"Good." His tone instantly changed, a smile spreading across his features. Riku pushed his elbow-length braid back behind his shoulders, leaving it to trail down his back. "Yourself?"
"... Good." Jin lied, smoothing away creases in her dress that didn't exist.
"I haven't seen you in here for a while." Riku's eyes glittered. "Can I get you something to drink?" Jin paused.
"I suppose one wouldn't hurt." She didn't glance over at her brother and work colleague, who she suspected were eyeing her up through the milling crowd of people.
"Great." Riku grabbed at Jins' elbow, directing the girl towards the drink counter. Jin followed silently, obediently. "So how have you been?"
"Good." Jin repeated, another forced smile stretching her lips. "What about yourself? I heard about your new job."
"Oh, yeah." Riku nodded. "That's going well. I even got given a bonus today, I was that good."
"Congratulations!" Jin's smile grew, slowly becoming less fake. "You must be so happy to get a paying apprenticeship in the middle ring."
"Oh, I am." Riku smirked, gesturing towards a barmaid. "What about you? Still in the old laundry?" Jin nodded silently. "Pity. Like I said, you're too pretty for that line of work, Jin."
"It's not forever." Jin defended her occupation testily. "And it's a lot better than other stuff out there. Not all of us can get a cushy job like you."
"Hey, calm down." Riku raised an eyebrow. "I was just sayin'." He shook his head. "Still as feisty and defensive as ever." Two glasses of maotai were set down on the table. "Not much has changed, has it, Jin?"
"It's only been a couple of months." Jin pointed out. And I suppose we didn't end on the worst of terms... Although it was still uncomfortable. She took a sip of her drink.
"True." Riku mused. "I guess it just feels like longer." He leaned against the counter, his head increasingly close to Jin's. "What are you doing tonight then, hm?"
"Nothing." Jin said truthfully. "No plans." She set down her vessel silently. "Why?"
"Just curious." The teenage boy shrugged. "You hardly ever drop by here no more, I wanted to make the most of the night, is all." Jin took another mouthful of maotai, shuffling her feet slightly. "Look... The way we broke it off... Was pretty messy."
"It could have been better." Jin agreed. "I said some angry things... I didn't mean them."
"No, I deserved them." He said humbly. "The mess with... I am sorry for that. Really."
"I know you are." Jin set down her glass again. "Don't apologize for that. So are you still seeing Liu?"
"Haven't for almost a month." Riku informed the girl. "What about you, huh? Seeing anyone special?"
"I was." Jin stared into her drink. "Lee. He just moved here a few weeks ago."
"Ugh, more refugees." Riku sneered. "Just what we need."
"Think about why they're here." Jin argued. "They have nowhere else to go. This is the last city left that's not..." She trailed off, the remainder of the sentence hanging in midair, unspoken and illegal. "... I had to call it off, yesterday." Jin murmured glumly. "It wouldn't have worked out."
"Come to drown your sorrows?" Riku smirked as Jin drained the last of her wine.
"Jiro forced me to come." She sighed. "So I guess that's why I'm here."
"Let me buy you another drink then." The teenager said easily. "For old times' sake?"
"Sure." Jin felt the corners of her lips stretch in a tiny smile. "Why not?"
"R-Riku... I-I don't think we should-"
"Hn?" His hands stilled on the front of her dress. "What's wrong?" Riku lifted his head, locking eyes with the girl, her features lit up in the moonlight, dark hair, which had been yanked out of its' ponytail by the eager boy, framing her silvered face.
"I-I..." What's wrong? Everything's wrong! This is wrong! This whole situation! What am I doing here? Seriously? "I c-can't..." She took his wrists, pushing them away from her clothing.
"What?" He frowned. "What do you mean, you can't?" His hands returned to the tie of her dress, which he quickly yanked free.
"I mean I can't do this." Jin said weakly, uncomfortably. She tried to pull away from Riku, perhaps slide out from underneath him, propped up against the rock with the teenager sitting on her legs, effectively pinning her.
"It's not like we haven't before." He sounded so smooth, so matter-of-fact. Jin screwed her eyes up, the vague sensation of nausea slowly unfolding. How much maotai did he end up buying for me? "C'mon..." Jin's breath caught in her throat as Riku pulled apart the now unbound dress, the yellow-edged fabric slipping down her shoulders.
"I-I know... But..." She shook her head. "Stop." She grabbed his wrists, nails digging into the skin. "Please."
"Ow, Jin, let go!" He scowled, arms jerking back. "What's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem." Jin shot back, a hand going to the side of her head. "I just..."
"Good then." Riku cut over the girl, examining her partly-clothed figure with a lick of his lips, leaning in. "You're even hotter than ev-"
"Get off!" Jin managed to successfully push him away, even though he was taller and much more heavily built. She managed to pull herself free, kneeling on the grass, fixing the front of her dress with shaking hands.
"What the hell, Jin!" His voice thundered in the cool night air. "What is your damn problem!"
"Nothing!" Jin shot back, tying her thin sash. "Wh-What's yours? What do you think you're doing? Y-You think you can force enough maotai on me then-"
"Force?" Riku snorted. "Listen to yourself. When the hell did you get this damn high and mighty?"
"I'm not high and mighty!" Jin protested. "I'm not going to sleep with you in the shadows of a children's play area!"
"Never stopped you before." Riku leered. "You've been friskier on less."
"Ugh, this is why I stopped seeing you!" She ran her hands through her hair, smoothing down the thick locks. "You... You got me drunk on purpose! Just so you could-"
"Yeah? And?" He raised an eyebrow. "This is different from any other night... How?"
"You don't get it!" Jin shook her head. "This isn't what I want! Why can't you just be nice!"
"Excuse me? Riku was incredulous. "I spent heaps on drinks for you! And I never complained! You spent your little heart out, getting drunk on my purse!"
"That's not nice!" Jin started to stand up. "Nice is..." She held her head in her hands. "Oh, forget it!"
"You think you deserve to be treated like a damn princess?" Riku laughed. "Oh, Jin. Come on. Seriously, who do you think you're kidding? You think you're better than me? Than everyone else? You think you deserve to be treated specially? You're not special Jin. You're as common as dirt. You're just like everybod-"
"Shut up!" Jin screamed, her vision blurred with tears. "You're a bastard, Riku!" She pushed at his shoulders, hard, the boy gasping as he tumbled to the ground. "I can't believe I ever liked you!"
"Hey!" Riku pulled himself back up his feet, red-faced. But Jin had already fled, melting effortlessly into the shadows of the night, as she had learned to years ago. She slipped into a side alley, running as fast as she could, her breath tearing from her throat in ragged sobs. Finding her way through the thin beams of moonlight that managed to permeate the ground and illuminate her surroundings, Jin pelted through the snaking maze of tiny back-alleys, until she finally managed to find an opening, an entrance into a large, public area, which was lit my a multitude of lanterns, the warm glow catching her eye from a distance.
Jin doubled over, hands on her knees as she struggled for breath, a painful stitch stabbing into her side. With a low moan, she straightened her back, rubbing at her eyes. Sensibly, she forced the burning lump in her throat away, trying to push the memories of Riku out of her head. Doubtless it was past eleven now, she was due home, and she had to figure out where she was...
Eyes widening, Jin stared about herself, taking in her surroundings. A cold feeling settled in her stomach, blossoming with recognition, until she felt as though a lump of ice had settled in her gut.
The Firelight Fountain.
Memories of Lee flooded back. Sweet, nervous Lee. He was so unsure of what to say, what to do, so eager to please her. He risked exposing what he was to make her happy. He listened to her talk, although he was somewhat moody and sullen. He'd made a real effort with his clothes and hair, even though that was probably on his Uncles' part. Actually, he was the first boy who actually bothered to change out of his work clothes before going on a date with her. Ever.
Jin gently touched her lips, eyes stinging.
What have I done?
Come on, Dai Li... Where are you.
Zuko narrowed his eyes, peering over top of the slanted roof. He was stretched out along the terracotta tiles of a house shadowed by a large tree, hiding from the moonlights' silver touch. Clothed entirely in black, right down to his gloves, his mask fitted securely on his face, he looked totally unrecognizable.
All was clear.
Slowly, not daring to step heavily for fear he would wake those in the house, the teenager slowly crept across the roof, jumping lightly onto the cobblestones of the narrow street. Sticking securely to the shadows, Zuko slipped down the alley, keeping his ears open for any sound of life. Although curfew in Ba Sing Se wasn't set until midnight, which was about half an hour off, the streets were deserted, a good many of the lamps extinguished. Zuko continued walking, keeping his eyes, his ears, peeled for any signs of life. Even most of the lights in houses were out, which was somewhat strange. He didn't press the issue further. They were probably shops and stalls here, or something.
Firelight.
The lamps caught his eye, visible through a small side-alley, leading into the next street. Well, where there was light, there would be people, right? It was worth a shot, anyway, this street was as dark and silent as a graveyard. Turning into the alley, Zuko crept along, keeping in the shadows, until he was able to peer around the edge of the building, silently, casting his eyes about the scene. It was a courtyard, a familiar square he had already seen twice. He swallowed, feeling as though someone had picked at a scab in his chest. The Firelight Fountain. What made him start, however, was the slim figure, sitting on the low stone rim, long, ubound hair falling about her face and down her back. She was still, and silent, but her slumped posture suggested intense misery and depression. Zuko froze. Although her face was covered, he knew who the slumped figure was, sitting just a few feet from the exact site where he'd had his very first kiss.
Jin.
Zuko's first compulsion was to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction. His next was to rush at her, screaming and swearing, demanding why did she completely ditched him. The third, and in his mind, most uncomfortable, was to leap towards her, take her in his arms, and embrace her for all he was worth.
Instead, Zuko did what was probably the most sensible, rational thing. Keeping still in the shadows, the Prince pulled the mask from his head, crouching down behind an empty crate, and slipping it into the tiny alcove between wood and stone. His sheathed swords and gloves followed, and, after pulling back the dark hood and ruffling his hair, Zuko felt satisfied that he looked normal enough to quell suspicion, despite the full black clothing. Straightening his back, Zuko curled his hands into fists, nails digging against the palm, and took a deep breath.
"Hey." The teenage boy slowly stepped out of the dark side-street and into the firelight, his heart still thudding. He heard Jin gasp, the girl jerking out of her torpor to stare at Zuko, dark green eyes wide with surprise.
"Lee." The corners of her mouth drooped, eyebrows arching inwards, as though her face wanted to collapse. Zuko let out a short breath between pursed lips, taking another couple of steps towards her.
"Why are you here?" He asked gently, the last syllable cracking. He gestured to the fountain with one hand, emphasising its' significance. The continuation of his statement hung in the air, painfully heavy. Why are you sitting alone in the place where we first kissed?
"Why are you?" It was a challenge, albeit a weak one. Jin's heartbeat quickened as Zuko took another couple of tentative steps towards her, now a few feet away from the girl. This much closer, Zuko could read the expression on her face with much more clarity. Especially her eyes. She looked as though she wanted to cry.
"I was just passing." He said truthfully. "I saw you." Zuko coughed, shuffled his feet awkwardly, and scratched the back of his head. The motion elicited a short gasp from Jin, who blinked rapidly, unable to ignore how undeniably... adorable he was. "Why are you here?" He repeated, their eyes meeting.
"... I..." Jin shook her head, closing her eyes. "I was..." She let out a sigh, feeling as though there was a dam in her chest, threatening to burst.
"What?" Zuko pressed, wanting to know. He could see how upset, how fragile she was, and tried his hardest not to push her, but the desire to know what compelled her to sit here, at this late hour, was overwhelming. What was it she wanted? "Jin." She flinched at the mention of her name. "Why-"
"It's just so stupid!" She burst out, eyes glittering. "Why is it so hard to be nice! Why do people have to be such jerks!" Zuko started, staring intently at the girl. "I-I mean... It was just a date! And it was going so well... I-I was even having fun! Wh-why? Is it so hard to just show some damn genuine affection if you care! Who gets the right to act like such a total... Ugh!" She raked her fingers through her hair, yanking at the loose dark locks.
Zuko misunderstood in an instant. He stood, frozen for a moment, as what Jin proclaimed swum around in his brain. It was my fault. I knew it! He gulped as Jin wiped hurriedly at her nose, sheer frustration and anger driving her eyes to moisture. Of course it was. I never showed her I cared. I never said... I never did... I should have... Before his mind had caught up with his body, before he had a chance to comprehend what on earth he was doing, Zuko dipped his head, taking Jin's face with his hands, pressing his lips against hers in the softest kiss that he could muster.
What?! Jin froze, her heart seeming to stop beating for a split second. She gripped his wrists, intending to push him away, to stop this horrible, wonderful thing, but her fingers betrayed her, instead curling into the dark fabric, pulling him closer, coaxing his fingertips to graze her hair. She was so shocked, so stunned, that she was unable to move, staring somewhat blankly at Zuko as he pulled away, the merest tinge of pink on his cheeks.
"I was a jerk." It came out in a rushed tumble. Zuko slowly crouched down on the cobblestones, looking up at Jin, who still held onto his sleeves. "I know I was. I'm sorry. It's just that I've never been in anything like this before and I didn't know what the right thing to do was or even how I felt. I know I should have done more to show how I feel."
"Lee..." Jin's voice shook, and she felt sick.
"No, let me finish." Zuko said quickly. "Running off, calling you names... You don't deserve that. I mean, what kind of person does that, right? I'm just... I guess I'm having time adjusting to everything, and I took it out on you, and that was horrible of me. But I don't want to never see you again. You know, apart from my Uncle, you're the only person in this damn prison that makes it worth staying. I do care, a lot. And I-"
"Lee, stop!" She burst out, letting go of his wrists. Zuko blinked, confused, and a little angry. "You don't... Can't..."
"What?" He was bewildered. He'd said what he should have, right? Wasn't that the right thing to do, kiss her and tell her how he felt? She just said that he never showed affection, but what was that? "What's wrong Jin? What did I do?"
"Nothing." Jin pleaded. Oh, it hurt. It hurt, to see him, still crouching on the stones, looking up at her. The firelight from the many lanterns danced about his face, playing light and shadow across the skin, and causing his eyes to shine. It reminded her further about what he was. Where he came from, what he could do. He looked so young, so boyish and sweet, staring up at her. "L-Lee..." She shook her head. "You've done nothing. It's..." Jin blinked rapidly, feeling sick with guilt. She couldn't lie. As much as she wanted to, looking into his perplexed, scarred face, she just couldn't.
"What?" Zuko implored, still not understanding what made her so anxious. "Did... Did you do something?"
"No!" Jin burst out, eyes wide. "No, Lee, I swear, I haven't, I..." She swallowed. "You are... The sweetest... The nicest..." Her voice cracked. "Most... kind-hearted boy I've met." Why? Why why why? Why do you have to be one of them!
"I don't get it." Zuko looked down. "If you think that, then... why..." His hands, which were shaking, clenched into fists. "Why did you..."
"Because I know." It burst out of her, like stewpot that had been on the stove for too long. Zuko, who was staring at the ground, became very, very still, a cold feeling settling in his stomach.
"You... Know?" He swallowed, struggling to quell the ferocious beating of his heart. Calm down! He screamed at himself. You don't even know what she's on about... It could mean anything... It... Oh Agni no...
"You're a..." Jin's face sank into her hands, the girl unable to say the word aloud. Zuko's head jerked up, and he stared at her, open-mouthed in shock. "F..." Her voice died, and she shook her head.
"Firebender." It felt like a nail in his coffin. Zuko closed his eyes, feeling more nauseous than ever. It was a few moments before he could bring himself to speak again, his voice soft, defeated. "You hate me." Jin pushed her hair back over her shoulders, overcome with pity for the boy who now knelt on the cobblestones, eyes and head lowered. It wasn't the reaction she'd expected, not at all. She'd envisioned screaming, threatened demands that she keep quiet or her life would end, a terrified picture of desperation. She'd thought he would hurt her.
How could I ever think... She felt rather disgusted with herself. He'd just said how much he liked her, would he ever want to hurt her, no matter how deep his shock?
He's a firebender. She argued. Evilness and killing and pain is all the Fire Nation know...
Spirits, I sound like my damn brother. Jin slowly slid from the edge of the fountain. Zuko made no indication at the motion, and didn't move, or look up, as Jin carefully placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I don't hate you." Her voice trembled. "But... I just... I can't look at you without..."
"I know." Zuko sounded as though he was in deep pain, and it was heart-breaking. "H-how... Did you..."
"Learn?" She settled a little bit, legs folded beneath her. "Things... That you said... and did." Her hand was still on his shoulder. "I wish I didn't."
"O-Oh..." He breathed, feeling Jins' hand tighten. "I..." He shook his head. Of course. No wonder she's been hiding. She's terrified and always will be. Just like Li and his mother. No matter what I do... How nice I am... It'll always haunt me. And she can't be around me, not with that hanging over her. And I can't, I can't let her stay in pain like that...
"I won't tell anyone." Jin promised, her voice very small. Zuko still stared down at the cobblestones, trembling. She ached for the boy, more than he could ever know. To see him so beside himself, so upset, and to know it was her fault... Even though the whole incident was inevitable, she felt sick with herself and overwhelmingly full of pity for Zuko. She slowly raised her left hand, which was clenched in her lap, fingers brushing against Zuko's dark thatch of hair, which was surprisingly soft. She wanted to see him, wanted to look him in the eye. Perhaps then he would say something to her, instead of staring silently at the ground.
"Don't." Zuko quickly grabbed Jins' wrist, pulling her slim fingers out of her hair. She frowned, the expression deepening as Zuko dropped her hand, and turned away, yanking his shoulder from her gentle grip.
"Lee, please." She begged, grabbing his shoulders in desperation, pulling him back towards her. "Look at me. Say something!" Jin lowered her head, trying to catch him in the eye, but his gaze remained resolutely fixed on the cobblestones. "Lee-"
"That's not my name." Jin froze, and Zuko took the opportunity to pull himself away, standing up and straightening his hair. Inside, he felt as though he was breaking apart. She knew. She knew. She knew what he was, what he could do, what he had done. She knew that he was of the race that had hurt her people so badly. She knew that he could never be truthful around others. She knew that he would always be looking behind himself, always anxious and nervous. And she would try to ignore it, try to forget, of course she would. She was doing it right now, making him look her in the eye. She'd try and go on like it didn't exist, like he wasn't from the Fire Nation, harbouring a secret that would eat her up inside, and fill her with self-loathing. She would lie to her family, her friends, just as Zuko had lied to her, until she was so entangled in pretence, engaging in a charade, that when it all came out – and it would, eventually – they would all hate her, for fraternizing with the enemy. And like every other person who lived in the poverty-stricken lower-ring of Ba Sing Se, family and friends was all she had.
"I-it's not?" Of course it's not. She realised. Of course he would use a fake name. Zuko shook his head as he stood, turned away from her with his arms crossed. "What is it?" She stood up herself, taking one of his arms. Predictably, Zuko yanked it away, his dark hair falling over his face and hiding his features from her. She couldn't see the tears in his eyes.
"Zuko." He whispered, feeling her gaze lock on him. He couldn't keep it from her – after all of the lies, the secrets, it would have been beyond wrong. "I... Have to go." Zuko kept his voice low, and rough. "Take care, Jin." He started to walk away, and with a cry, Jin sprang forward.
"Zuko, don't!" She pleaded, and at the mention of his name, hearing it uttered for the first time by the peasant girl, the teenager froze, the stinging in his eyes increasing. "Please, Zuko, don't leave." She used his name again, wanting to show him that it was okay, it would be okay, she was shocked, and horrified, yes, but it wasn't the end of the world. "I-I'm not scared of you." Jin said firmly, taking one of his hands in hers. "It's only a part of who you are. You're so much more than that." She begged. "It's not what defines you, Zuko."
"It is." His voice was cold – it was easier that way. "Jin, you don't understand. Look, you can say it's all right, but... It's not. It won't be. Knowing what I am-"
"Changes nothing!" Jin cut in. "I like you, Zuko. I really really like you." She was using his name at every possible opportunity, trying to get use to how it sounded, trying to associate the name with his face. "You're-"
"The enemy." Zuko cut in this time. "Maybe not to you, but to your people. I can't Jin. And you can't either." He was aware of the tears beginning to trail down his cheeks, and tightly gritted his teeth. "What would they say, if they knew?"
"I don't care!" Jin protested. "I don't care Zuko! What others think doesn't matter to me, not at all. You're what matters, you-"
"Dammit Jin, STOP!" He shouted, wrenching his hand free. Jin gasped, and reeled back, one hand covering her mouth at Zuko's explosion, eyes smarting. The lanterns, neat little flames that dotted the water and thronged the fountain on metal lampposts, burst in his anger. Turning on her heel at the sound, Jin's lower lip trembled as she saw the paper lampshades engulfed by the flames, the lanterns ruined. She stared, unable to tear her eyes away as the paper curled and sizzled, the flames exhausted, flickering dully.
"Zuko..." Jin breathed, rubbing her eyes as she turned back to regard the boy, "Y-..." Her voice died in her throat as he realised that he was nowhere at all to be seen. Zuko had fled the scene while her back was turned, slipped in to one of the many alleys, and would be lost in the night. "Why." She set her head in her hands, loose hair falling about her shoulders. "Damn!" Jin cursed aloud, turning and kicking at the stone edge of the fountain. He rejected her! She said that it was okay, she used his real name, she said it didn't matter and he still rejected her! Not realising what Zuko did was for her own good, Jin kicked the fountain again, this time creating a large crack in the stone surface.
I have to go. She raised her eyes to the moon, trying to calculate the time. I have to get home... Go to bed. I'm so late, Ma will be furious and if I'm not careful, I'll break curfew. I'm on my third warning, they might take me in... Not wanting to risk arrest by the Dai Li, or worse, invoke the anger of her mother, Jin started to jog out of the small courtyard, away from the ruined fountain. She was hurt, bewildered, and upset, but also more than a little angry.
What does he want? She scowled. What does he want from me? He kissed me, dammit! Jin pausedin her stride, touching her lips. And it was so...
I'm going to see him tomorrow. She started to walk again resolutely. I'll be at the tea shop all day if I have to be. He can't and he won't ignore me. If he's got a problem with me, then he's going to tell me what it is. I said I wouldn't tell, I said it didn't matter and I still liked him!
I'll get a straight answer out of him. Jin rubbed at her eyes. One way or another.
ZOMG DRAMA!
SO yeah... REVIEW FOLKS! Please?
Next chapter shouldn't be too far off, provided I don't get swine flu or anything (jokes).