Chapter Nineteen: Theory
Lucy's POV
Boy… what a day… I lied down on my bed and sighed heavily. The good news was Gray still loved me, I had managed to summon shadows and Aston had showed up before something awful happened. The bad news was now that I had committed myself to another guy, I couldn't exactly break free without, well, breaking his heart. Plus I wasn't even sure I could choose. Before I was certain I loved Gray. But now I had a strange feeling with Natsu too.
It was already dark outside by the time I calmed myself down enough to be able to drag myself to my apartment. Plus I had stuffed myself at a nearby restaurant because I was nervous and people ate when they're nervous. Although I made sure not to eat too much to keep my figure in check. Then I went back home and prepared myself for bed. Though I suspected I would never get to sleep anytime soon, instead probably pulling an all-nighter worrying.
Just as I suspected, no matter what I did, the problems haunted me like a bad memory. I tried everything, thinking of things that made me sleepy like a long lecture from the Master, counting sheep, I nearly even got up to warm up some milk before I thought twice and decided I didn't feel like it.
Finally, I got up in a huff and walked to the window, opening it and staring at the sky. I couldn't find that stand-out shiny star tonight but I didn't worry so much about that. The clock ticked closer to a quarter to one in the morning and I didn't feel drowsy in the least but bored that there were still a few hours before I could go out and confront my problems. Now I would have to wait.
To pass the time, I thought about the fact I was in the middle of a messed up love triangle. Either way, no matter who I chose, one person would be hurt which would, in turn, hurt me. I laughed, although it sounded humourless, because it was ironic. Both boys had promised to never hurt me, yet they were both going to anyway, no matter which path I chose to take. If I chose Gray, Natsu would be hurt. If I chose Natsu, Gray would be hurt and if I chose not to choose them at all, they would both be hurt, so I really couldn't win without feeling the guilt gnaw at me.
What should I do…? I thought, leaning over the windowsill. I was completely stumped and Gray and Natsu would probably compete until they were a hundred years old for me. Their perseverance was endless so it was unlikely one of them would give up on me. Looking around for a second, I pressed my hands tightly together and began praying, even though I never really done it before.
Please, Kami-sama, guide me towards the right path, I thought mentally and dropped my hands. Even though it did seem to make me feel a tiny bit better, it did nothing to elevate the big problem. Sighing, I turned around and climbed back into bed, dozing off after a few minutes.
The next morning…
So… in the end, I didn't think of anything at all. I fastened on my belt securely and was about to exit through the door when suddenly I sensed someone in the room. Quickly I turned around, one hand going automatically to my belt, but to my relief, it was only Natsu.
"Ohayo!" he grinned cheerily, "You leave your window open a lot, I've realised."
"Sometimes I wonder why you can't just enter through the door like a normal person," I smiled though and thought, despite everything, Natsu was one of my best friends. It was surprisingly not as upsetting being with him as I thought it would if I thought like that. I'd always thought my mind would be invaded with sadness whenever I was around Natsu or Gray now but it wasn't. Like whenever I was within Natsu's presence, my anxieties melted away and I felt happier and having a childlike excitement.
"Why are you here?" I asked, grinning jokingly to keep it casual but I was actually quite curious, "Trying to butter me up?"
"In a way," admitted Natsu, completely going for the bait, "But I still consider you one of my greatest friends, Luce! A friend dropping in is innocent enough, right?"
"Literally dropping in… Which brings me back to the whole window thing," I said.
We both smiled and laughed. Being with Natsu turned me into a five year old again. It was funny and nice to be around him but did that count as love? I wondered where the line was drawn between friends and lovers since I didn't know anything anymore.
"Anyway, do you want to go to the guild?" asked Natsu, half turning towards the window.
"You know some normal people live beside me," I said, "Don't you think it'd give them a heart attack to see people jump down from a storied building without killing themselves? Let's go through the door. By the way, where's Happy today?"
"Off with Charle again," said Natsu, not seeming bothered in the least. In fact he was grinning, "I think something's going to come between the two."
My hand paused on the doorknob before clumsily turning it. Of course with the amount of time they spent together, something was definitely coming between the two cats. It's going around a lot nowadays, I thought, and it's not even spring yet.
As we walked to the guild, Natsu supplied most of the conversation while I talked along and laughed where necessary. Gray would probably be at the guild and I wondered if they would behave in a civilised manner or bring out World War Three.
As we walked through the guild, I was immediately pulled aside by Cana who looked apologetically at Natsu, who raised his eyebrows but shrugged and moved on, before hassling me.
"Lucy, just what the hell is going on?" asked Cana. I realised Juvia was also standing behind her, looking quite confused.
"What do you mean?" I asked, honestly not knowing what they were talking about.
"Well, I read my tarot cards which showed that a big change happened. And I just assumed it had to be you the change happened for. So, what happened?"
"Well…" I said, "Can we go somewhere a bit more private?"
"Sure," said Juvia and we walked out of the guild and along the river. It wasn't a busy day so the streets were pretty deserted.
"Well, I realised Gray still loved me," I started. I noticed Cana and Juvia both widen their eyes but then smiled.
"Isn't that good?" asked Cana.
"Well, it is," I said, "But… I kind of already made a commitment to Natsu and I'm not entirely sure what I feel for him. Sometimes I think he's just my best friend but then I remember the feeling I had when Natsu kissed me once. I can't just cut that off as nothing."
"Perhaps not," shrugged Juvia, "But, do you have stronger feelings for one more so than the other?"
"I really can't tell," I said, changing direction and walking on the bridge, placing my arms on the edge and leaned out, "I don't want to hurt one of them but I really can't do anything where everyone will be happy."
"Lucy," sighed Cana, coming up beside me and resuming a pose like me except she had her elbow propped up and rested her face on it, "Pain makes people grow to be stronger and better. Heartbreak could be one of those pains. No matter what you choose, it will benefit everyone in the long run."
"But I never want to hurt anybody…" I said.
"You can't go through life without disappointing one person at least once," said Cana, "Sometimes you have to accept that you can't impress everyone and still keep your own happiness in check. There would be no point in trying."
"Why not?" I said. They both flinched.
"Even if I don't succeed, I never give up on anything before I try," I smiled at them and turned around to walk back to the guild.
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Cana watched Lucy go with a smile, "That's Lucy for you."
"I thought you were being too harsh with your words," said Juvia, laughing slightly.
"But we made Lucy more determined and happy instead of dwelling on the problem depressingly all the time," said Cana, shrugging, "Speaking of which, why do you think Lucy says she felt something when Natsu kissed her? I was certain she and Gray were a match made in Heaven."
"I still am," said Juvia, "I have a theory of why Lucy thought she felt something."
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Lucy's POV
As I re-entered the guild, I spotted Gray sitting at a large, crowded table with most of the members from the guild. He looked up and brightened when he saw me. For the first time in a long time, I finally saw light in the darkness of his eyes now that our misunderstandings were cleared up. Smiling back and I went over and sat down in a spare seat, incidentally, between Natsu and Gray.
"Hey, Lucy!" everyone greeted. I smiled and greeted back. Then everyone began talking again.
Gajeel, who had come down from upstairs for once, was the first to speak after the greetings were exchanged, "Hey, you three," he eyed me, Natsu and Gray suspiciously, "Were you in the forest yesterday?"
"Yeah, why?" asked Natsu.
"I was walking around there and I picked up something," said Gajeel, "It smelt like you three so Lily and I went to check it out. What the hell were you three doing?"
"What do you mean, what were we doing?" asked Gray, playing dumb.
"I could still smell smoke in the air," he looked directly at Natsu, "Ice shards were on the ground," he eyed Gray, "and something generally didn't smell right. Like something evil had been there or something. Plus I smelt someone else. A scent I hadn't smelt before. What were you three doing? Ganging up on some stranger and killed him or something? Besides, he smelled faintly of a dark guild. And whatever smelt evil travelled around with him too."
The stranger must be Aston and the 'evil things' must be the shadows, I thought. Though I tried to think quickly, I couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation. As none of us spoke, Gajeel and the others stared at us, seeming suspicious.
"Well, we—" began Natsu but he was suddenly cut off by Wendy.
"The way I see it," she said, smiling sweetly, "Is that Gray and Natsu are competing for Lucy…"
An anime arrow hit the table with the kanji 'SHE'S RIGHT!' on it.
"… The unknown person was a dark guild member but he quit or left because the scent was faint. And Gray, Natsu and Lucy must be friends with him because he left the scene without being harmed by them…"
Another arrow hit the table.
"…The 'evil things' would be something from a rare magic technique, possibly used by the unknown person and Lucy is possibly learning this type of magic. Am I right?"
A huge anime-boulder fell down on all of us with the kanji 'HOW DID SHE KNOW?' on it.
"How did you know everything?" shouted Natsu, "Wait, were you there?"
"Ooh…" everyone clapped for Wendy who was just smiling, "Sugoi, Wendy!"
"It wasn't very hard to figure out, considering everything," Wendy smiled innocently.
Just what kind of person is hiding behind that sweet smile? I thought, looking at her, she figured out everything with that brief description from Gajeel!
"Anyway, an ex-Dark Guild member?" asked Lisanna, "Were you all OK?" she asked concernedly.
"Yeah, we're fine!" grinned Natsu. Lisanna smiled back, re-assured.
"Still… seriously, how many things are you guys keeping from us?" asked Bisca, "Is Happy in on it, too?"
"Some of it…" said Natsu, "But the point is nothing bad is happening! That's all that matters, right?"
Natsu had a natural talent to change the topic without anyone suspicious. While he was doing so, Gray spoke to me, "Lucky…"
"Yeah," I said, "I don't think they'd approve of me summoning supposed death-bringers."
"Hey…" said Gray, "Are you free? Want to go on a date? Back to that river? Like last time?"
"When we went ice skating?" I asked. Gray nodded. I smiled, "OK. When?"
"Tonight," said Gray, "Remember to dress warmly, all right?"
"Yeah," I replied, already looking forward to tonight, "I'll be there."
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So, the Natsu and Gray battle begins! Although they have to do it in a civilised manner so Lucy won't yell at them. XD
Anyways, I thought I would add in some suspicions since surely, huge explosions in the forest wouldn't go unnoticed by someone. :)
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