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not beta'd

storyline - "Beginning"

word prompt - sparkle

Bella flicked her pencil repeatedly on her desk, looking forward to class starting. She'd purposely sat down in front so that Edward's entrance in to the lecture hall would be easy to ignore, or even miss.

It had been a couple of days since she and Edward had called things off. She knew she'd done the right thing, but that hadn't prepared her for the sense of loneliness and loss she felt now. Edward might have been inconsistent emotionally, but his companionship had been consistent. They'd been friends before hooking up, and now she didn't even have that.

The large room was filling up quickly now, thank God. There was no way he'd be able to find a seat close to her.

Tanya, a pretty blonde that Bella had been acquainted with for a year or two, sat beside her, yawning.

"Long night?" Bella asked, a little absently.

Tanya shrugged, and then nodded. "Yeah. I mean, it's Monday, you know?"

Bella chuckled quietly. "I know."

"I was finishing up this crappy assignment, and then my roommate's boyfriend decided to use the blender at three a.m. …" She rolled her eyes. "Guess that's what happens when you date younger guys. They're still in frosh-mode."

"Ugh. That would've driven me nuts."

"Oh, it did. I almost told him off, but Rina did first."

The professor appeared in front, giving a curt nod and smile to the class.

Bella relaxed a little. Now she could focus on academics, and not the questions in her mind and heart.

A little over an hour later, Tanya returned the pen she'd borrowed midway through class.

"All right, well… guess I'll see you Wednesday."

"Definitely," Bella said, standing as she zipped her bag.

"Hey…" Tanya sounded hesitant.

Bella shrugged her backpack on, eyebrows raised.

"Are you and Edward still…seeing each other?"

Taken aback that someone would ask her about that, Bella recoiled involuntarily.

"Oh... I'm – Bella? I'm sorry, I didn't…"

Bella shook her head. "No, it's okay. It's just weird you're asking, because we actually decided to stop seeing each other." The words felt clunky and awkward coming out of her mouth. It was difficult to explain the end of something so indefinable in the first place.

"Really?" Tanya seemed genuinely baffled.

The hall began to quiet as the last of the students drained out.

"Yeah. Why, you want him?" Bella joked lamely. She didn't know why she'd said that. The thought of it sickened her. She knew Edward and Tanya had been friends for awhile, back from high school. Their families were friends or something.

Tanya frowned. "Honey, if that ship was gonna sail it would have, a long time ago." She brushed her hair out of her face. "I was asking because he came by Friday night, drunk as all hell."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. He wouldn't talk about it, just watched TV and then passed out on the couch. He was gone before I even got up the next morning."

Bella snorted. "Sounds like something he'd do."

Tanya sighed. "Well, anyway. Didn't mean to get up in your business. I just wondered."

They finally stepped out in to the aisle and began making their way up through the empty auditorium, their footsteps echoing loudly.

"I think we want different things," Bella said, her voice scarcely louder than a whisper. "And... I can't do it anymore. "

Tanya nodded, sympathy written all over her face.

"He was always kind of a loner, you know? Like in high school, even junior high. I don't know. I hate to oversimplify it, but sometimes I wonder of he has daddy issues. The male version, obviously."

Bella knew Edward's parents were divorced, but so were hers. That was no excuse to close yourself off.

"I'm headed this way," Tanya said, squeezing Bella's arm.

"All right. See you," Bella mumbled, waving goodbye.

It was a sweet, sunny day, even though it was still cold. Normally Bella would have felt happy on a day like that.

She appreciated Tanya's concern, though, even if the other girl's words had left her as confused she'd been before.

Bella sighed, holding up the green t-shirt. It was Edward's. She'd worn it home once, and it must have been hiding in the laundry since.

She folded it and put it aside, not sure what to do with it; she wouldn't wear it again, but it felt wasteful to just toss it. Mailing it back seemed stupid too.

She wondered if he would show up at the café again. Her shift started in about an hour; she'd just put the shirt in her bag and if Edward showed up, well, she'd return it to him.

Bella didn't have to wait long to find out. Upon arriving, she noticed Edward sitting in a corner booth by himself. It looked like he was doing homework.

Taking a deep breath, Bella marched straight over to him. He looked up, a little surprised by her sudden presence.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi." She retrieved the shirt from her bag and thrust it at him. "I found this today. I was doing laundry. So… here."

Edward took the shirt, an undecipherable expression crossing his face. "Thanks."

"No problem." Bella took a step back. "Okay." She turned and left, her head down as she went toward the counter.

Edward looked at the t-shirt in his hands. He brought it to his nose, inhaling. It smelled like Bella's house, her detergent. His chest squeezed a little, and he shoved the shirt in to his bag.

He'd known that by coming to the café, he'd see her, and that was what he wanted. The café was one of his favorite spots anyway: it was warm and comfortable, the music was never loud, the food and coffee (and beer, if that's what he was in the mood for) was great. But his favorite part had always been Bella.

It was a little masochistic, maybe, but it was his way he supposed.

Sighing heavily, he returned to his studies.

He could hear her laughing, even over the busy din of the now crowded café.

A couple of friends had joined him, and they were just hanging out now, trying to decide if they wanted to order dinner or head home.

Edward's eyes wandered to the counter, where Bella was giggling at something her coworker was saying. He realized that he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen a sparkle like that in her eyes, and it hurt.

She was better without him. He'd been right to let her go.

So why did it feel so bad?

a lot of you think edward's a jerk. i think that's harsh. i think bella was wise to break things off with him, but feelings and emotional scars are messy. i feel bad for edward... he's sort of miserable. maybe i'm just a softie.