Title: Into The Fire
Author: miss_peg
Rating: T
Summary: It's been two years since Van Pelt shot Craig O'Laughlin and nothing much has changed, after a difficult start to a new case she finds herself questioning everything until her life unravels and she's forced to make some difficult decisions.
Notes: I can't imagine there being much more of this story, perhaps one chapter, maybe two at a push. Thank you to tromana for reviewing part one.

The carnival had been in town for a week; with a busy schedule Van Pelt had little time to visit. Since her mind was elsewhere she didn't much care for a second night sitting around wallowing in thought and instead decided to venture out into the muggy night.

She always caught the carnival whenever it came to town, a habit she picked up from being a child. These days she liked to go in order to imagine what it was like for Jane growing up in such an environment. She liked to ride the Ferris wheel, get her fortune told and eat cotton candy to the point of feeling a little nauseous.

The carnival was busy with people of all ages making use of what was left of the day's light. Van Pelt always arrived just before nightfall in order to catch the twilight. The first thing she opted to do was buy a corndog, since she hadn't eaten much for dinner and was feeling considerably hungrier than she'd anticipated. She walked around for a while, taking in the atmosphere and watching families as they finished up their visit.

The fortune teller's small tent sat on the edge of the carnival between a couple of fairground rides. The sign made clear that someone was currently inside the tent, so Van Pelt stood by the entrance and watched a young girl coming off the Waltzer looking very ill, her father's arm wrapped around her shoulder as he guided her towards the restrooms. A situation she'd been in countless times herself.

As a man exited the fortune tellers tent, Van Pelt stepped forwards, a little cautious as she pushed aside the plastic fabric and moved on into the small makeshift room. Nerves fluttered about her stomach as she reached the young woman sitting behind a table. She motioned for Van Pelt to sit down.

If Jane had been beside her he'd have scoffed and told her what a waste of time and money it was visiting a supposed psychic, but she still wasn't sure that Jane was right. Just because he wasn't a real psychic, it didn't mean they didn't exist. Besides, the last time she had her fortune told, Craig had betrayed her just as the teller had informed her he would. He'd been sat beside her and though he tried to make her believe that the woman was an old hag with no idea what real love was all about, Van Pelt hadn't been able to let go of a feeling that she was somehow right and what happened afterwards only proved it further.

'You're not sure if you're a believer,' said the woman, her smile reaching the corners of her eyes.

'I have a friend who used to be a psychic.'

'Some people lose their sight,' she nodded, reaching her hands out. 'It's okay, I won't bite.'

Van Pelt rested her hands carefully on top of the woman's and let go of her conflicted feelings. She tried to put her trust into the woman, in the hope that she would help her to feel at least a little more decisive.

'There's a lot of cloud,' said the woman, her voice low and sombre. Van Pelt rolled her eyes but returned her focus quickly. 'You lost someone close to you a long time ago, not because you wanted to. You were forced apart, like Romeo and Juliet.'

The tall, distinguishable figure of Wayne Rigsby filled her mind followed quickly by the incidents that led to their break up. She closed her eyes and tried to remember the happy times they shared together, before it became so complicated.

'There was another,' the woman continued. 'Much darker circumstances, a betrayal.'

She opened her eyes to respond, but Van Pelt couldn't find any words. She stared at the woman whose gaze was lowered.

'You're struggling, there is something that you wish to do in life but you've never allowed yourself to do it. You've always been too afraid. Your future is cloudy but the question you want answers to is very clear.'

The woman let go of Van Pelt's hands, her eyes opened and the reading was done. Van Pelt stayed rooted to the spot for a moment, unsure of what it all meant and how it mattered to her in that precise moment in time.

'Turn the sign on your way out,' said the woman, disappearing behind a curtain at the back of the tent.

She did as the fortune teller asked and walked out into the darkened evening. Long ago she'd given up on the idea of a happy ending and the teller's reading only reminded her why. Romance was overrated because it usually ended one way or another. She wasn't about to get hurt again anytime soon, perhaps that's why she hadn't been on a real date in a while. What was the point when any chance of happiness would only lead to pain?

Van Pelt walked along, her eyes focused on the floor as she considered the reading. She tried to make sense of what was going on inside her mind, the feelings she'd felt over the last few days at work and home. She saw a pair of feet in front of her and yet it wasn't enough to stop her from running directly into their owner.

'Rigsby!' she said as she looked up, shaking her head as she rested a hand on his shoulder. 'I am so sorry.'

'It's okay,' he smiled, patting his chest down to his thighs. 'I'm still alive.'

Creasing her brow, Van Pelt glared. 'How can you even joke about that?'

'I'm fine,' he said. 'Tough as old boots. No amount of shootings are going to bring me down.'

The very thought of the shooting still left Van Pelt feeling a little shaken, she'd seen the blood coming from his arm and the pale, clamming skin on his face. He looked the epitome of health and happiness now which was some comfort but what could have happened still haunted her.

'Wheel!'

Van Pelt smiled as Rigsby picked up his son from the floor, resting him on his hip. There were multiple reasons not to laugh and joke about their near miss. If anyone should have been injured it should have been her, she was single and quite frankly a terrible source of company in recent months.

'I promised Ben we'd go on the Ferris wheel,' he said, lifting the little boy up onto his shoulders.

'I was just headed that way myself,' said Van Pelt.

They fell into step as they walked side by side towards the wheel. The last time she'd been on one was with Craig, before that she'd always ended up riding the wheel alone. In high school she'd ridden it with Billy Crispin but after he tried to feel her up she'd slapped him across the face and jumped out as soon as their section had reached the ground.

'Three?' asked the vendor as they reached the front of the queue, Rigsby nodded and Van Pelt followed him into the seat. Ben sat between them, his little hands holding tightly to the bar as Rigsby hooked his hand around a loop in his trousers.

She sometimes wondered what life would have been like had she been the one to have Rigsby's child, it was an idea she'd thought of time and again, even before Sarah had become pregnant. Despite feeling happy for them, she also felt a sense of sadness and disappointment. She moved on first, which made her feelings completely out of line, and Rigsby had a right to happiness. Craig's death had pushed her to do things she didn't normally do, it was only natural that it had made her feelings a little off too. Still, if things had worked out another way…

'Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we'd stayed together?' she asked, staring out across the star covered sky.

'Sometimes,' said Rigsby, grinning as Ben smiled at him. 'But then I wouldn't have Ben.'

'No, you wouldn't,' she whispered, her voice trailing off into the night.

Reminiscing over the past and wondering what would have happened did nothing but make Van Pelt feel a little sadder. She'd expected Rigsby to agree with her in part about their past relationship, but so much had changed over the last few years that maybe he'd moved on. He had moved on, not just with Sarah but his life. He had a child who depended upon him for everything; all Van Pelt had was the same annoying landlord and a family hundreds of miles away. Where once they were opposite sides of the same coin, they were now different coins entirely and that made Van Pelt feel even worse.

'It's beautiful tonight,' said Rigsby, looking out across the sky.

'Remember that time we sat on the roof of my apartment block and watched the stars?' she asked, blushing slightly.

'I've never forgotten,' said Rigsby, their eyes meeting for a moment before Van Pelt turned her attention back to the stars. 'Hey Ben, what's in the sky?'

''tars!'

'That's right little buddy.'

When the wheel returned to the ground and their turn was over they walked across the courtyard towards a drinks vendor. Rigsby carried Ben who rested his head on his father's shoulder, his eyes flickering closed. Van Pelt checked her watch, time often got away from her when she visited the carnival, no wonder Ben was ready to go to sleep.

'Two sodas please,' said Rigsby.

They sat on a bench and watched passers-by moving around the carnival, a crowd of people exited one of the tents where the last show of the night had ended. Van Pelt turned her attention to a young couple so much in love and she wondered when she reached the point where she didn't want that as much as she once did. Craig's betrayal had left her shattered in more ways than one but her belief in romance and 'the one' hadn't dwindled, not straight away.

'I should get the little guy home,' said Rigsby.

'Oh, okay,' said Van Pelt. She didn't want him to go, even though they'd spent half the evening in near silence, she still didn't want him to leave. She longed for a time where Rigsby would stay out with her 'til the early hours, returning to her apartment with just enough time to make love before a call came in about a case. They'd fuel up on coffee and make up excuses, then after a brief kiss say goodbye.

'I'll see you tomorrow though, at work.'

'You will,' she said, dropping their empty soda cans into a trash can and following him towards the exit. 'See you in the morning.'

'Goodnight, Grace,' he said, placing a small kiss on her cheek. She reached a hand out to his neck and held him there for a moment, lost in memories from the past until she forced herself to not give in to a memory and kiss him properly.

Rigsby carried Ben out into the street and towards his car; Van Pelt watched as they drove away not removing her gaze until they were completely out of sight. Then she sat back down on another bench and looked up at the stars.

The fortune teller had told her to follow her dreams, the things she'd pushed to one side a while ago, the things she was most afraid of. When she'd left the academy she'd wanted to progress, to be the best that she could be at her chosen profession and though she didn't doubt her ability to get there, one day. What happened with Craig had put a spanner in the works; her heart had spilled out on the ground along with her confidence. She closed her eyes and pictured the future, a future that was a far cry from the life she currently lived. The only thing left to do was to find a way to get there.