Title: Into The Fire
Author: miss_peg
Rating: T
Summary: It's been two years since Van Pelt shot Craig O'Laughlin and nothing much has changed, after a difficult start to a new case she finds herself questioning everything until her life unravels and she's forced to make some difficult decisions.
Notes: This definitely isn't the end, so there will be one more chapter. Thanks to tromana for reviewing chapter two.

Van Pelt noted how silent the bullpen was for nine in the morning; she slipped into her chair and blew on her hot mug of coffee. Rigsby had arrived at the same time as Van Pelt and Cho; they'd already gotten over the celebration of his return only to find the mundane task of a near-cold case threatening to suck any life from the room. No matter which way they turned, the case of the mystery woman found in a ravine hit dead ends. The illegal hunters had evaded the law and probably moved on. The woman, who had been identified as a young tourist named Helen Hopkins, lay on a slab in the morgue awaiting the arrival of her family from England.

'Van Pelt, I need to speak with you,' said Lisbon, attracting the attention of the seemingly bored office. Van Pelt slipped an envelope from her desk, hidden by her coffee mug, and walked through the bullpen towards Lisbon's office, still smiling in an attempt to ward off any suspicions from the rest of the team.

When she entered, Lisbon motioned for her to take a seat which she quickly accepted. The silence that followed made her all the more nervous as Lisbon took her time to finally begin.

'I spoke to Director Bertram, he's agreed to your leave of absence effective from tomorrow.'

A sense of relief settled over Van Pelt, though she suspected that Lisbon had called her in for that specific reason, there had been a shadow of lingering doubt. What if she had done something wrong and not realised? Had she made a mistake on a case? The confirmation of her suspicions allowed her to breathe again.

'Erm,' she whispered, barely audible.

'Is there something wrong?' asked Lisbon, her eyebrows creased as she rested her clasped hands on her desk.

Van Pelt hated herself for being so weak, her hands were shaking, something which she managed to disguise behind her hot drink. 'I've changed my mind.'

Lisbon's frown deepened. 'I would have appreciated knowing sooner.'

'I'm sorry, I, I,' she said, placing her mug on the desk and handing over the envelope. She closed her eyes as the sound of the envelope opening filled her mind. The thought of her decision left her with a heavy weight resting on her shoulders, yet she knew that she couldn't turn back now. She'd made the right decision, even if it pained her to do so. Van Pelt opened her eye as Lisbon glanced up from the letter.

'Oh.'

'I only realised yesterday that what I really want is progression, a new challenge,' said Van Pelt, feeling her mind ticking over at supersonic speed until Lisbon's blank face allowed the return of emotion.

'I see.'

She looked angry and there was nothing that Van Pelt could do but watch her eyebrows crease once more. She'd looked up to Lisbon, like a mentor; a friend. The last thing she wanted to do was cause her distress.

'Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed working here, a lot. I'm so grateful to you for everything you've done for me, but it's time for me to move on.'

Finally, Lisbon's face lit up into a smile that reached her eyes and Van Pelt's worries dissipated. 'I understand. I know you have aspirations, when I was your age I was already shooting through the ranks. I'll be sad to see you go, though I've been expecting this for some time.'

Van Pelt smiled back, unsure of what to say as her nerves settled slowly. Instead she reached for her mug of coffee and drank.

'So what are your plans now?' asked Lisbon, tucking the letter back inside its envelope.

'I've been looking at opportunities nearby; I have a friend who works in San Francisco.'

Lisbon looked pensive. 'I'll have a word with a couple of acquaintances; they usually keep me up to speed on any opportunities. You deserve to find something that will give you what you want, Grace.'

'Thank you,' she said, smiling. 'I'd appreciate that.'

Once her unofficial meeting with Lisbon was over, Van Pelt returned her mug to the kitchenette in the hope of there being some more coffee in the machine. Instead she found Jane standing against the counter staring at her.

'I'll miss you,' he said, pouring hot water into his cup.

'How did you know?' Van Pelt asked. 'Did you read that on me?'

Jane laughed lightly. 'I have very big ears.'

Van Pelt rolled her eyes. She was going to miss him too; she was going to miss them all. She turned towards the bullpen, her eyes following Rigsby as he moved about the office like a monkey. She wasn't quite sure what he was intending to do, but Cho seemed unimpressed.

'He'll miss you more than any of us,' said Jane.

'Yeah,' she replied, letting out a long sigh. 'Don't tell anyone, I'm not ready.'

'You have my word,' he assured her as he wandered back towards his couch.

Another mug of coffee in hand and Van Pelt returned to her desk, she could feel her morale dropping ever so slightly at the thought of returning to the current task in hand. Surely there had to be something more they could do to avenge the killer of Helen Hopkins. The last thing she wanted when the girl's parents arrived was to inform them that their daughter's case was destined for a filing cabinet that wouldn't be opened again for a while.

'What was that about?' asked Rigsby as he sat back down.

'Nothing in particular,' she said, though her attention was already elsewhere. She picked up the case files and searched for something that they had to have missed.

By the end of the day Van Pelt wished that she'd been more successful, but the case files had provided little information beyond what they already knew and no amount of research had helped.

'Grace.'

She glanced up from her computer to find Rigsby staring at her, she finished shutting it down before giving him all of her attention.

'What's up?'

'Cho, Jane and I were going to the bar round the corner for a few drinks; celebrate my good health.'

'Have fun,' she said, flicking the button on her computer screen.

'You should come too; Jane's asking Lisbon, though I doubt she'll say yes. It's been a while since we really hung out, I enjoyed last night.'

'Okay, sure,' she said, standing up and slipping her purse over her shoulder.

x

The bar was quiet, which she'd expected considering it was mid-week. Rigsby ordered in the first round of drinks and to everyone's surprise, Lisbon had agreed to join them 'for one'. Inevitably, it took less than five minutes for the topic of work to come up, which Van Pelt was sure was a record. By the third drink they were down to just Van Pelt, Cho and Rigsby and by ten pm Cho made his excuses and left.

'Guess it's just us,' said Rigsby, holding up his glass which Van Pelt clinked against her own.

'What you said earlier,' she said. 'I enjoyed last night too.'

'Good.'

They drank in silence until their glasses were empty. Van Pelt considered having another but the thought of drinking too much when she had work the next morning didn't appeal.

'I should probably go,' she said, slipping out of her seat.

'I'll walk you to a cab,' he replied, slipping an arm around her back as they wandered out into the street.

They stood on the sidewalk as they awaited an empty cab, a couple of times Van Pelt spotted one driving along the other side of the road but Rigsby had been too engrossed in a story about Ben that she hadn't the heart to interrupt. Besides, she was enjoying his company, which she hadn't had the chance to do in a long while.

'There's one,' he shouted eventually, and it pulled up beside them.

'Goodnight then,' she said.

'Goodnight,' he replied, leaning down to kiss her cheek. Van Pelt's cheeks flushed slightly as his lip lingered on her skin. When he pulled back, his hand still rested against her cheek.

'I,' she began but words failed her. There was a reason she didn't spend time with Rigsby anymore and it boiled down to one thing; her heart. She'd almost forgotten why she'd stopped going to the bar with Cho and Rigsby. The night always ended with him walking her to her car or helping her to catch a cab. He always kissed her cheek, even after he'd gotten together with Sarah, and she always felt things that she knew she should have kept hidden a long time ago.

Then Rigsby's mouth moved closer, returning to her lips in the briefest of moments, leaving her speechless once more. She stared up into his eyes as he looked down, his lips still parted and his hand still cupping her face.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered. 'Last night I didn't realise what I was doing, I think you feel it too.'

Van Pelt tucked her bottom lip under her top, reveling in the familiar taste of his lips. She sighed softly, though it came out more as a pleasurable moan than anything she had intended.

'I think we both know that things between us never really ended,' said Rigsby, his hand pushing back across her face as though replacing a strand of hair. 'It just, reached a place where we couldn't go any further.'

Her heart thumped loudly inside her chest as she considered what Rigsby was saying. She'd thought of it, of course she had. She knew everything he was telling her and yet she couldn't help but remember her relationship with Craig.

'I did love Craig,' she said, as though justifying the last few years.

'And I loved Sarah,' he replied, a nervous laugh slipping out. 'But I never stopped loving you too.'

'I,' she tried really hard to find something to say; some way of justifying their actions or her desire to give in to every emotion she could feel coursing through her body.

'If you don't feel the same way then I'll stop. I know that it'll get messy again, but we'll make it work, somehow. I promise.'

Van Pelt's mind had raced on ahead, her imagination taking her to Rigsby's bed, to the things that she would do to him given half the chance. He was still talking, still trying to justify his actions, to give her a get out of jail free card. But she didn't need it.

She reached out, slipping a hand around the back of his neck as she pulled him towards her, her tongue moving along his bottom lip. He responded quickly and before she could pause for breath, they were kissing fiercely. When she finally pulled away, she let out a soft moan against his skin.

'Of course I did, I do, Wayne.'

He reached his hands out to embrace her, their lips finding each other again as familiarity took over. She slipped her fingers through his carefully gelled hair, pulling it out of its shape in a careless manner.

'Do you want a ride or not?' the cab driver shouted. Van Pelt and Rigsby pulled apart quickly, as though they'd been caught by their superior.

'Mine?' asked Rigsby, running a finger down Van Pelt's cheek. She nodded briefly and he pulled her into the cab.

The ride was painful to say the least, Van Pelt longed to touch Rigsby in all the places she knew she couldn't. No amount of longing would allow her to sacrifice her morals for the sake of quelling their passion as quickly as possible.

Once in Rigsby's apartment, Van Pelt tossed her purse to one side as they stumbled through to the bedroom. She groaned deeply, her lips retracing the steps of her fingers as she rediscovered every inch of his skin. He followed suit, his fingers slipping under clothing, fumbling with buttons and carelessly abandoning items across the carpet. Van Pelt moaned against his ear as he lifted her onto the bed and they succumbed to years of underlying passion.

x

They lay side by side, tangled up in each other's limbs as their breathing reached a pattern. Van Pelt pressed her lips carefully against his shoulder blade, running her mouth slowly towards his neck.

'What do we do tomorrow?' asked Rigsby, a little more subdued now that the reality of their romance had sunk in.

Van Pelt considered his concerned expression as she rested her head against his chest; she placed a hand against his skin and ran her fingers slowly across the hairs on his chest.

'What if I told you I'm leaving the CBI?' she asked, her voice small. She'd yet to tell him about her resignation, about her plans for the future.

'What? Because of me?' he asked, shifting his position on the bed. Van Pelt pulled away briefly until he'd settled back against the wall.

'No.' She shook her head and sat up beside him. 'Because of me, I don't want to be the rookie forever. I handed in my resignation letter this morning.'

'Oh.'

He sounded disappointed, something which only made her feel worse for keeping her plans from him. But they'd only just reconnected, the thought of breaking her own heart by breaking his was something she'd worried about in the brief moments she'd had to think.

She wrapped her arms around his waist in an attempt to get closer. 'When I left the academy I had a five year plan and staying here was not what I wanted. I only stayed so long because I enjoyed the job and the people.'

'The people?'

'You.'

'Where are you going to go?' he asked, his eyebrows creased. Van Pelt reached up to his face and straightened out the lines with her fingers until the tension in his face disappeared.

'I'm not sure yet,' she said, lifting his hand into her own. She kissed his fingers, one at a time. 'I'm looking at opportunities. Hoping I can get a position in San Francisco.'

'That's not very far.'

'No, it's not,' she replied, a large smile spread across her face.

'Oh,' he said, slipping back down against the mattress.

'Exactly,' said Van Pelt, climbing on top of him as she pressed her lips against Rigsby's. He responded quickly, his hands cupping her hips as he tossed her back against the bed and took her position above. She lay there, submissive to the passionate actions as he made love to her once more.