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un-beta'd

storyline - Countdown

prompt - curse

In the morning, I bring Edward breakfast in bed.

It's nothing fancy; I need to go grocery shopping. He doesn't seem to mind, though. Coffee, cut up apples, Nutella to dip them in and half of a baguette I had in the kitchen. It's good.

"Doesn't look like it's stopping anytime soon," he comments, glancing out the window. The snow drifts down lightly, but constantly.

I nod, licking a spot of chocolate off of my thumb. I'm a little tired, even though we were able to sleep in this morning. Waking up all during the night does that to you, I suppose. "It's pretty."

"And cold."

I smile at him, and he smiles back. Chocolatey. "And cold."

I love this feeling, this giddy newness. We're in it for real now; not that we weren't before, but sex certainly intensifies things – especially since we're on the same page in terms of what we want.

At least, for the most part. We're still learning about one another.

"Maybe we can go outside and make snow angels later." I put the now empty food tray on the night stand and stretch out underneath the blankets.

"I don't have the clothes for that," Edward reminds me, lying beside me.

"Ah, that's true." I snap my fingers. "Damn."

"You're like a little kid," he says, brushing my hair from my face.

My heart skips a beat, and I feel so mushy inside. It's the way he's looking at me, like he's as enamored as I am. "I feel like one sometimes."

He nods, eyes twinkling. "I like that about you."

"You're that way sometimes too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I think we all have bits of ourselves that stay the same. Like, there's a part of me that can relate to who I was at three. Sometimes I feel like that's the most essential part of me, the core of who I actually am. The rest is… peripheral."

He nods, and I can see he's thinking about what I've said. "There are important things we learn along the way, though."

"Oh, for sure." I chew my lip, trying to express myself. "Maybe not peripheral, but more like… everything else builds on the person we were at three. Or two, or five, or whatever."

"That makes sense." His fingers graze my hip, naked beneath the shirt I wear. "In an odd Bella sort of way."

I kiss him lightly. "I wish I could have known you at three."

"According to you, you do know me at three."

"Shush!" I laugh, poking him. "You're teasing me now…"

"Only a little… and anyway, I wish I could've known you at three, too."

We cuddle and kiss for awhile, enjoying the warmth we've found beneath the blankets.

"Does it bother you that I can't have children?" he asks.

It is so sudden that I freeze, my hands in mid-tickle. "Not really."

"You're just saying that." He says it as a statement, but I hear the question in his words.

"No, I 'm not." I pull back so that we can look at each other properly. "It's not something I have strong feelings about, Edward. I'm…rather neutral."

"Impossible. It's the most un-neutral subject there is."

Frowning, I lower my eyes. He's got such nice shoulders, and I focus on them, running my hands over the soft, smooth skin. "I haven't given it a lot of thought. Never have. I'm focused on my life right now, not the maybe-life of future kids I may or may not have."

He stays silent, so I continue. "I don't know what you want me to say. Is it something that bothers you? It's not a curse, you know. If you really wanted we could adopt. Or something. There are options."

"I know there are options," he says, his voice not harsh but almost. "But it's easier said than done."

"I never said it was easy."

"You have no idea."

It feels as though he's slipping away from me. "Are you trying to push me away?"

"Did you say we could adopt?" He says instead. "Or did you mean I could?"

My face heats; I hadn't even realized I'd said that. "I – I don't know."

"I don't want to push you away," he says, pulling me closer so that I'm lying halfway on top of him. "I just want you to understand, from the very beginning."

"I do understand," I say, sitting on top of him. He has nothing on beneath me, and I can feel all of him. "Stop underestimating me."

"I'm not –"

"You are."

He grasps my hips, moving me against his body.

"I don't want to hurt you," I say, lying down so that I'm flat against him. "So don't hurt me."

"You're like no one I've ever met."

He sounds almost astonished.

I feel the same way about him.