I know this is a little shorter than previous chapters, but bare with me! Also, I would like to apologize since this chapter is a little slow...more lemons to come...I PROMISE you! As a reminder...I still don't own Vampire Academy or its characters.

It seemed like forever, but the paramedics finally arrived. They took her vitals, and it didn't look good. She barely had a pulse and both her blood pressure and temperature were dangerously low. I couldn't do anything right now to help, not with so many people around, so I just collapsed into Christian's arms and used him for physically and emotional support.

DPOV

Why the hell is Lissa acting like this is nothing new? I am freaking out at the idea that Rose just tried to kill herself, especially right after the amazing sex we just had and Lissa if fucking keeping a cool head about it all! What the fuck is going on here? Why would my Roza do that? I need some fucking answers now and I don't care who gives them to me.

The ambulance finally arrived and basically things didn't look good. Rose was nearly dead from the blood loss. I just got her back and refuse to leave her side again, so I rode with her to the hospital. At first, nobody would let me in the room. They needed to check her out and didn't want anyone else in the room at the time. Even though I knew they had a job to do without me being in the way, it was still fucking hard to be away from her. I paced the waiting room until I was starting to see a path being made. Mia and Christian went with Lissa to the feeders. She said she needed to be prepared in case there was something she could do to help heal Rose. Eddie was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. I know that he and Rose had become close…especially after the Spokane incident and I knew that it was hard on him as well. Finally, they said I could go back with her. I had to lie and tell them that I was her fiance since there is a family only policy.

When I entered her room, she was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires. She had a few IVs. One was giving her fluids to keep her hydrated, and one that was giving her blood. She was hooked up to machines checking her blood pressure, oxygen levels, and heart rate, as well as having an oxygen mask on. She looked awful. Even though I thought things were going to be great between us and today nothing had been said or done to trigger this,

I couldn't help but feel that this was all somehow my fault. I remembered back to the outburst she had at me the other day. She had mentioned being borderline suicidal after I crushed her. Damn it! Why do I keep fucking up? I should leave. I don't deserve her. What kind of fuckin imbecile would do this to such an exquisite woman…oh yea, me. I definitely should leave. She deserves so much more than what I can offer her. Every time I turn around, I am hurting her…whether it be something I say, something I do, or something I should have done or said that I didn't. I can't leave her. I promised her. If she wants me to leave and never turn around…she would have to be the one to order it. I will never hurt her again. This has become my new life mission. I vow to do everything in my power to make her happy and show her how much I love her and that I want to be with her forever.

I asked one of the nurses if she knew approximately how long Rose would be asleep. She, of course, didn't have an exact answer, but she said it would be quite some time. I nodded and asked her to give me a call if there was any change what so ever. I needed to get outside and think some things through.

LPOV

What the fuck was Dimitri doing just sitting there? Rose needs him! I decided that I needed to be the one with the cool head and started instructing the others what to do. I noticed that Eddie was already on the phone with who I am assuming was the 911 dispatcher, judging by the information he was giving. Mia took off. I know it is hard on her seeing one of her friends like this and I can't blame her. There were more than enough people here and if she couldn't keep in control, she would only be in the way. At least this time, there are other people here to help me.

The other times, it was just me. It was this bad before either…usually I caught her as she was doing it or shortly after and was able to heal her right away. Dimitri really hurt her when he told her those words. When I found her, she would always be rocking back and forth repeating them… "Love fades. Mine has." It was a kick in the face the first time, though. I had a history of cutting myself and she was the one who was always there for me before. It completely caught me off guard when I found her like this.

**Flashback**

I had invited everyone over to my room for a movie night. Rose had been down lately and I needed to find a way to pick up her mood. We ordered a bunch of pizzas, made some brownies, and Adrian even brought some alcohol to mix drinks with. After we had done all that, Rose said that she wasn't feeling well and that she wanted to stay in her room and get some rest, thinking that rest was what she needed. Of course I didn't want all the food to go to waste, so I decided to bring her some pizza and brownies, before everyone showed up, in case she wanted to eat something.

I knocked on her door and there was no answer. I tried the handle, and finding it unlocked, let myself inside. What I saw before me I was not expecting. Rose was sitting on her floor, rocking back and forth with her eyes closed, while mumbling something to herself. In one hand, she held a razor blade covered in blood and was about to cut herself. I noticed that she had already cut the wrist of the hand that now held the razor blade.

I shut and locked the door and ran over to her. "Rose, what are you doing?" She didn't say anything…she just looked up at me with tears streaming down here face and a far away look in her eyes. I took the blade from her hand and healed her wrist. Then, I stripped off her bloody clothes and helped her into the bath tub and washed her up. She seemed so catatonic and couldn't do anything for herself. I helped her dry off and got her dressed then laid her down on her bed. I called everyone and cancelled our plans. Adrian insisted on coming over and staying there with me for the night.

I slept on the floor next to her bed while Adrian slept next to her, holding her so tight, it was almost as if he was holding her together. The only sounds we heard all night were from Rose painfully mumbling to herself and crying. It was hard for me to listen to considering I had no idea what she was saying and I knew that Adrian was in misery as well. He loved Rose, really loved her, and it broke his heart to see her in so much pain.

The next time I came to her aide, was the last time I almost lost her. She called me in the middle of the night. I could tell from the tone of her voice that she had been crying and was in lots of pain. She told me that she was tired of being alone and that the only one who ever held her heart was Dimitri. With him expressing that he no longer loved her, she felt no reason to continue existing. Her speech was slurred. She started mumbling something about his love fading and then I heard nothing.

I ran over there as fast as I could. Her door was locked and she was not answering when I knocked, so I had had the night guard kick in the door. We found her passed out on her bed. On the floor next to her bed, were an empty bottle of Bacardi 151 and an empty prescription bottle for antidepressants. The guard carried Rose to the infirmary, where they pumped her stomach and kept here there for several days. One condition upon her release was that she sees a psychiatrist due to the fact that this was not her first attempt at suicide.

Though she was released, they kept an eye on her…basically having her followed around to make sure she didn't try it again. One of us had to stay with her at night for weeks. Therapy seemed to be helping after a while and they also prescribed her some medication to help with the depression. Finally, she sat down with all of us to talk. She told us what Dimitri had told her and how she felt she lost everything in that instant. She finally let us in, though it was too late to save her. However, we all promised we would be there for her and help her through it all.

**End of Flashback**

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