She had been given a week's leave to recover from what Fury called her ordeal. She had nearly gone mad with grief, sinking into a profound depression, not answering her phone or calling anyone in return until one afternoon, she heard a knock on the door of her apartment. She was lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket, the TV on mute. She waited for a minute to see if whoever it was, would go away. Finally another knock and a called "Hello?" it was Lizzie. She stood up from the couch, wanting Lizzie to go away and yet needing to talk to someone, anyone. She unlocked the door and opened it, Lizzie stood there with Daniel beside her. "Where the hell have you been, I've been calling all week."
She walked into the apartment and looked around. "This place is a mess, are you okay?" Sarah had given Daniel a hug and was now back on the couch, blanket wrapped around her. "I had a little vacation time coming and I took it." Lizzie sat down beside her, Daniel had grabbed her tablet and was now fiddling with it at the kitchen island, the sight threatening to break her down again. Lizzie saw her expression and put her arm around Sarah's shoulders. "Hey now, you gotta tell me what's going on or I can't help." Sarah shook her head, "I can't tell you much Lizzie, it has to do with work." Lizzie sat back, "You didn't get fired right?" Sarah shook her head again, "No, I don't know how I didn't but I'm still gainfully employed," She chuckled, wiping her eyes. "Well then that's a good thing, so what did you do wrong?" Sarah glanced at Lizzie, "A lot but I really can't tell you because it falls under classified and I don't want to burn my last bridge." Lizzie shrugged, "Alright,, so it's not man trouble then." She watched Sarah out of the corner of her eye and caught her reaction, "So it's a man then." She turned to Sarah, "Anyone you want me to beat the crap out of? Is it that guy you brought with you to the softball game?" Sarah could only nod, she couldn't bear to say his name. "Loki, right?" Lizzie asked. Sarah bit her lip hard. "Yeah," she said, her voice wavering, she paused to compose herself, "He got called home." It was all she could manage. "Northern Europe or something?" Sarah laughed, then threw her hands in the air, "Yeah, that's it," Lizzie stood up from the couch and walked out to the kitchen to glance over Daniel's shoulder. "So if you're so broken up about it then why didn't you go with him?" Sarah ran her hand through her hair, "He went home to stay." An image crossed her mind of Loki standing at the terrace of the room they'd shared, hands planted on the marble rail, face a mask of frustration and she half wondered if it was real or imagined. "Well you could visit him couldn't you?" Sarah shook her head hard.
Lizzie came back to the living room and stood before the couch. "So you guys had a falling out then?" Sarah was suddenly exhausted, "Lizzie, listen, I can't talk about this right now. It's too much for me." Lizzie turned and walked back to the kitchen where she started running the water in the sink, "Fine, you don't wanna talk about it, we won't, you go get yourself a shower and get dressed while I get these dishes done." Sarah stared blankly for a minute out into the kitchen, then rose from the couch and headed into the bathroom to run the water for a shower.
Monday morning found Sarah at her desk in Stark Towers, staring woodenly at the computer screen before her. Her head ached, she felt irritable and she'd been unable to sleep the night before. She'd barely made a dent in the paperwork she'd needed to catch up on, her mind seemed unable to focus, when she heard a familiar voice call her name and she looked up. Thor was walking towards her desk. She looked down at the video feed disc that she'd just burned for placement in a file, trying to act busy, trying to avoid the inevitable. "M'lady Sarah," Thor was at her side, bending over, he took her hand and held it. "I would like to speak with you in private, if you have the time." Sarah looked up at him, "I'm rather buried with work as you can see." Thor eyed the desk, then turned to her, "It is about my brother."
They sat outside the front entrance on one of the benches placed around a large fountain. The sun had warmed the day to another scorcher and Sarah felt worse than she had before. "Loki has gone home to Asgard." Sarah swallowed hard, gave an imperceptible nod, "He told me he was going." "My brother has asked me to watch over you. There are other things he told me that I would not deign to speak of in public, but I must know if they are true." Sarah watched a mother and her toddler as the boy splashed his hands in the basin at the bottom of the fountain. "If you're asking whether I slept with him, the answer is yes." Thor stared at her, "I did not mean to ask if you slept with him, I meant…" There Thor stopped and she realized he had taken her literally, "Thor, slept with around here means I had sex with him." Thor reddened and nodded, "He told me he had let the hunger overtake him. How well I understand, he does not know." Sarah raised her eyebrows, "You and Jane?" He blushed even harder, "Loki thinks I am innocent, and ignorant but he is wrong. And he is concerned for you. I believe he truly loves you, Sarah." Sarah rubbed the bridge of her nose, her headache was worsening, "And he's a world away." Thor put his hand on her shoulder. "I will work on Fury, perhaps I can get him to agree to let Loki visit from time to time." Sarah shook her head, "And then have to let him go again and again? I don't think I could survive it." Thor squeezed her shoulder and dropped his hand. "Things have a way of working out, perhaps not as you expect them to, still you must give this time." Sarah looked around her at the buildings, the hot sun, Stark towers high above them, "That's about all we have is time, Thor."
Lily was sitting with her while they ate lunch from a street vendor's cart a couple weeks later when Sarah realized something wasn't right. The smell from the hot dog cart was turning her stomach violently, so much that she had to walk away. Lily fell in step beside her as they headed back to their offices, "Maybe it's that damn street food." Lily suggested. Sarah was inclined to agree with Lily but she could tell there was something more. That afternoon she had to leave her desk at least once to bring up her lunch. She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, cold water dripping off her face and the urge to laugh suddenly hit her, she toweled off her face and walked out of the bathroom to log herself off the network and get ready to go home.
She stood in the drugstore near her apartment, half an hour later, staring at the shelf before her, fending off the laughter again as she thought about the utter insanity of what she was considering. She reached out before her and grabbing a box from the shelf, walked to the counter, paid for it and left quickly, not wanting to meet anyone's gaze and nearly ran up the four flights to her apartment where she locked the door behind her. Ten minutes later, she was sitting on the floor of her bathroom holding a small white stick in her hand which she hadn't been able to put down for the last nine, trying to make sense of what she was seeing, she'd grabbed the box it had come in and read the proper use label a dozen times just to be sure but nothing would change the little white stick and no matter how she looked at it, she was pregnant.
Loki stood before Heimdall and the nearly reconstructed portal. "Show me Sarah Miller of Midgard." He said. Heimdall turned and entered the dome, Loki following behind him, "The vision will be clouded at best, the portal is not yet ready." Heimdall warned him as he waved his sword across the arch at the far end of the dome. The air shimmered and wavered finally solidifying into a vision of Sarah as she sat at her desk in Stark towers, her fingers feverishly working the keyboard of the computer, reaching for her water, taking a drink of it, stretching the kinks out of her back. Loki watched for long minutes then turned away and headed for the opposite arch out onto the bridge. "It is not easy to look upon that which you cannot have, why do you do so?" Heimdall's voice called out to him. Loki ignored the question as he lifted himself up on his horse and turned its head towards the city.
Fury studied the agent's report once more then put it down on his desk. He had been right to have Sarah Miller keep her job. It was one way to keep an eye on her especially now that this new development had occurred as he'd expected it would. After Thor, out of concern for his brother, had told him what Loki had said, he even considered re-instating her at the office but decided to watch and wait. He had informed Stark of the new development, getting a quick retort in reply, "Mazel tov, I think you should start planning a baby shower for her." Thor, however had been another problem altogether. Fury had warned Tony to keep his mouth shut until it couldn't be helped, his concern being that if Thor found out, he would surely go home and tell Loki and the last thing he wanted on his hands was a desperate god. He'd ridden that merry-go-round before, thank you. He put the file in his desk drawer and leaned back in the chair waiting for the world to stop spinning.
"You're what?" She heard Lizzie shout over the phone, "Oh you're kidding, right? Whose is it?" Sarah, a look of contempt crossing her face, said, "Seriously? Who do you think?" There was a pause, "Not that Loki guy you brought with you to the softball game. Thor's brother?" Sarah sighed heavily, "Yeah, that Loki guy, gee thanks." "Well," Lizzie retorted, "I've only met him once. How far along do you think you are?" Sarah thought to herself, "Maybe a month. I didn't realize I'd missed my period." In fact, as she thought about it more, she should have gotten it the week she returned from Asgard. Suddenly she felt miserable, "And I can't even see him, he's…back home." "So he doesn't know?" Lizzie asked.
Sarah laid her head on her arms as she sat at the kitchen island, "Nope, and I'm afraid to tell him too." She could almost hear the gears in her sister's head working, "Is he prone to violence, like he wouldn't beat you up if he found out right?" Sarah rolled her eyes, "Well no of course not…he just might try to come back here and it's sort of…well expensive on his part." Like a long jail sentence, she mused. "Well what about an abortion? He wouldn't have to know." Sarah put her head up, horrified, "Eliza Ann Hayes, how could you even suggest that?" She heard Lizzie sigh this time, "I'm just trying to throw solutions out there for you. I mean it sounds like the two of you aren't even together now." Sarah walked to the apartment window and looked to the sky, "It doesn't mean we don't want to be, we just can't right now." "I'll bet if you called him and told him that you were pregnant, he'd be there in a heartbeat." Lizzie replied. Sarah walked away from the window and sat on the couch, "That's what I'm thinking too. I'm going to wait, call the doctor and make an appointment to confirm the test. Do not, repeat, do not say anything to mom and dad until I am sure." Lizzie promised that she would wait and they hung up with Sarah's assurance that she would call her as soon as she knew what was going on.
That Wednesday morning at work, she dialed the number of her gynecologist, hung up, then steeling her resolve, she dialed again. When the voice on the other end answered, she said, "Hello, this is Sarah Miller, I'm a patient there and I'd like to make an appointment." She looked around the office hoping no one was really listening hard to her. "Yes, I took a home pregnancy test and it came out positive." She listened to the date options and picked one for next week, the receptionist telling her to get her blood drawn that afternoon if she could manage to get to the office by five-thirty that afternoon so they would have the results for her appointment. She said she would try, if not this afternoon, then tomorrow morning, thanked her then hung up and put her head down on her desk, only looking up when Jenna, one of the office workers she'd struck up a friendship with, walked over to her computer station. "Everything alright?" She asked, standing there with her hands on her hips. Sarah nodded and managed to smile. "Sure, couldn't be better, just tired." Jenna pursed her lips, seemingly unconvinced but then, "Okay, you want to go to lunch together today?" Sarah nodded again and after a little discussion on where the lunch was to take place, Sarah was again alone with her work, scanning video feeds, watching the world go by from the comfort of her air conditioned cubicle. She shivered, pulled a wrap she'd brought with her, around her shoulders and tried to concentrate on the screens before her.
She stood outside the gynecologist's office after her appointment that following Thursday, trying to hold her hands steady as she called Lizzie. "They confirmed it, I'm pregnant. Made my third month appointment and everything." She heard her sister groan, "Well now you're going to have to call mom and tell her." Sarah shook her head, "No, not yet, not until I'm further along than this." When Lizzie protested, Sarah was firm, "It's bad luck anyway, it's too early. Give me time to get used to it myself." Sarah hung up with her sister and started for the subway, and home to her apartment where only Mr. Whiskers waited patiently for his supper.
Sarah lay back, her legs dangling over the edge of the examination table, her heels against the cold hard metal stirrups. She watched as Dr. Hart squirted gel on her gloved fingers. "Now this is going to be just a little uncomfortable, "She said as Sarah felt her fingers slip up inside her, one hand above her pelvis. After a minute of manipulating, she withdrew her fingers, "You can sit up," She peeled the gloves off her fingers and sat down on the stool at the shelf beside her entering something into her laptop. "Everything feels fine, looks good right now, three months and a bit, right on schedule. We're going to schedule an ultrasound next week for you. I'll put that right in your file. How do you feel? Sarah pulled her dress over her head. "I feel okay, a little tired but I'm not throwing up anymore so that's a plus." The doctor nodded, "Okay, keep taking that folic acid, we'll see you in another month."
She was at her desk at Stark towers recording a video feed that had been flagged, watching the time on her computer. Her ultrasound was at 2:20 and she'd asked to be out at 1:00 so as not to be late. As the video feed finished, she was aware of someone standing above her, looking over her shoulder. It was Pepper Potts. Sarah smiled, "How can I help you, Miss Potts?" Pepper smiled in return, "Mr. Stark asked me to bring you to your doctor's appointment today, I have a car waiting, it's much better than the subway." Sarah was taken aback for a minute, then stood up, her computer screen blinking off. "Well I don't want to impose," Pepper waved her hand, "Happy to do it." Sarah grabbed her water bottle, she'd been trying to down it since 1:00 that afternoon to be ready for the ultrasound, followed Pepper out of the foyer doors to a waiting limo and slid in beside her, the driver holding the door for them. "Mr. Stark is a gracious man," Sarah said, a comment that made Pepper struggle not to laugh, "At times, yes." Pepper couldn't mention the real reason she'd been asked to bring Sarah to her ultrasound, to make sure that the baby she was carrying was, for all intents and purposes, a baby after all. Pepper smiled again at Sarah, "Are you wishing for a boy or a girl?" Sarah stared out the window at the passing buildings, "I don't know, I guess as long as it's healthy. A boy maybe."
She had set on the floor of her living room that weekend, looking at a book of baby names, her eyes scanning the origins for Scandinavian names but few had stood out to her except the boy's name Fenris which meant fierce, she could call him Fen for short, and she had written the name down in a little journal book as a potential pick, she was keeping the journal to write each and every milestone as her pregnancy progressed.
They rode in silence for a minute, then, feeling braver, Sarah said, "What about you, do you have any children?" Color rose to Pepper's cheeks, "Oh no, no. I'm so busy at this point in my life, I would never have time.." Sarah nodded, "I suppose, but have you ever thought about it? Mr. Stark seems like he'd be a great dad." Pepper stared out the window of the limo, considering chiding her for being so familiar but decided that she felt like answering the question. "I've thought about it, then I've watched the crazy life Tony and I lead. The potential dangers we face, the hectic pace we keep up, and Tony is always on the go, no, it wouldn't be fair to the child to bring it up in an environment like this." Pepper had been a bit rattled by the question, though, in fact, it had been a subject matter the previous evening between her and Tony when he asked Pepper to bring Sarah to her appointment so that he could give Fury a report and the conversation had ended with words exactly like she'd said to Sarah. "Besides," she added, "You have met Tony haven't you? He's a great man, a philanthropist, a genius, a hero with a generous nature, and he's also an arrogant egomaniac with sharing issues. We don't need more than one of them running around do we?" Sarah couldn't stop her smile, she glanced up at Pepper to see she had joined her.
Sarah drained the last of her water bottle as she walked into the ultrasound room and tossed it in the garbage can before she sat on the table. The technician, a young brunette with a nametag which read 'Sally Cornell' walked in a minute later. "Hi, my name is Sally, I'm going to be doing your ultrasound. Did you drink water like we said to?" "Yes indeed, and I think if you push on my stomach, I'm going to go off like a fountain." Sarah replied. The technician laughed, "I'll try to be gentle, I'm going to have you lie down on the table now and raise your shirt up over your belly, right just like that, and pull your pants down just a bit so I can reach underneath with the wand, perfect."
The technician turned the lights down and squirted gel on a short wand with a wide end. "Okay it's going to be a little cold, ready?" Sarah nodded and flinched as she touched her stomach just above her pelvic bone and started to slide the wand around, stopping every couple seconds to take measurements, after a moment she asked, "So are we finding out the sex of the baby or is it going to be a surprise?" Sarah hesitated, but then said, "I'd like to find out if we can." The technician slid the wand and stopped it, "Well let's see if we can get the baby to reveal itself." She slid the wand again, stopped. "So are you going to tell dad? Or are you going to keep it a secret to yourself?" Sarah looked at the ceiling, "The father isn't in the picture." The technician was immediately apologetic, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Sarah shrugged, "You didn't know, that's alright." Suddenly the technician stopped again and said, "You wanted to know? Well I think we have a potential football player on our hands here. Wait…yup a real good possibility, I'm taking pictures here so you can show him off." A couple minutes more and she was sitting up readjusting her shirt. "I'll finish processing these pictures while you go get some relief." The tech said.
Sarah didn't think anything could feel so good as when she finally stood up from the toilet with an empty bladder and as she walked out of the bathroom, the technician was handing her two black and white ultrasound photos. "Everything looks healthy, he's a little bigger than what your due date reads, maybe by two weeks but that's not a problem. This will probably be the only ultrasound you'll have unless the doctor thinks something is wrong, so good luck, enjoy your pregnancy." The technician sat back down to finish the computer program and Sarah stepped out into the bright light of the hallway.
Pepper was leafing through a magazine when Sarah returned to the waiting room. "All ready?" "All done," Sarah replied and they walked out of the office to the limo parked at the curb. When they were seated back in the limo, Pepper turned to Sarah, "So did you find out what it was going to be?" Sarah took the pictures out of her small denim purse and handed them to Pepper. "She said she's pretty sure it's a boy!" Sarah squealed and Pepper joined her, giving her a happy hug, "Oh that's so wonderful." Pepper said, and stopped. She'd been about to ask the same question the technician had fumbled with but Sarah seemed already to have thought of it herself and she sat back in the seat, "Oh great here I go again," She wiped her eyes furiously, "Damnit, I knew I was going to be a blubbering idiot today. I'm going to chalk it up to hormones." 'Not the potential that Loki will never know he has a son' Sarah thought to herself. Pepper patted her on the back, trying to reassure her, suddenly more angry at Loki than she'd thought possible. "You'll get through this, you have friends and family to support you." Sarah gave a shuddering sigh, "I know, but it still hurts."
The elevator doors to the townhouse slid open and Pepper looked around the room for Tony, finding him finally, outside working on the deconstructor. She ambled slowly down the walkway until she stood over him as he sat with a sonic screwdriver in his hand and some gears in front of him. "When this thing pulls the helmet off my face, it feels a bit fast, like I'm going to be missing my nose one day. Had to tweak it, so what's it going to be? Animal, vegetable, mineral?" Pepper rolled her eyes, "Don't be so crass, as far as they know, it's going to be a baby boy." Tony stood up, gears and screwdriver in hand, and headed into the townhouse, "Baby boy what though? There's the question isn't it." Pepper followed him into the room, "You laugh but I feel for her, she's all alone with a baby on the way, personally I think Loki hypnotized her or coerced her or something." Tony turned to glance at her then back at the gears he'd laid on the table, "Love is blind, sweetheart, sometimes it's deaf and dumb too. Maybe he was an okay guy when he was around her…kinda like me with you." Pepper gave him a punch in the arm and he turned and kissed her quickly. "Well, now it's a waiting game."
Sarah called her sister that evening and told her the news. "A boy! Good, now I can start shopping. Did you call mom yet? You have to call mom now. You promised you would." Sarah lay on the couch and closed her eyes, one hand protectively over her stomach. "I can't bring myself to do it, Liz. I mean I'm sitting here without a husband, pregnant, in a big city. They'd come up, hogtie me and throw me in the trunk to make me come home." She heard Liz cluck her tongue, "Well maybe that's what you need to do, maybe you should take a leave of absence, you're in your fourth month already. What if mom and dad decide to take a little trip and surprise you, what if they show up on your doorstep?" Sarah laughed wryly, "They've been here once since I moved here to NewYork and that took a week for them to plan. I'm not too worried, besides I have to make money to pay the rent and survive." "Well I still think you should tell them. I'm giving you another week then I'm taking matters into my own hands." Sarah sighed, "Alright okay, I'll call, just maybe not today, I want to be in a deep blue funk, not an outright depression." She told her sister she loved her, hung up and lay there thinking that maybe a leave of absence wouldn't be a bad idea, maybe not now but as her time approached. She got up to fix a light supper, her appetite had been poor as of late, and decided she'd make the call to home tomorrow.
Dr. Banner was sitting in the cafeteria with his tablet trying to finish some lab work before he packed it in for the evening. Thor had joined him but was curiously morose, and a bit quiet for himself, nursing a half gallon jug of orange juice. "My brother has changed greatly since he went home." He finally said aloud, startling Banner who had been deep in calculations. He looked up at Thor, "Say again?" Thor took a large swig of the orange juice, "Loki, he has changed." Banner nodded, "Oh good, for the better right?" knowing the answer, he waited for a response. "No, nothing of the sort, mother says he trains like a warrior most every day. He has become bitter, angry, I fear, like he was in the darker times. It troubles her greatly. She tried to hide it from father but, well, father knows...and watches." Banner glanced at the tablet and touched the screen a couple times. "I don't suppose you've tried talking to him?" Thor put his hands to his forehead, elbows on the table. "Countless times, but to no avail. He refuses to listen to reason, he always did though, that should be no surprise. Still I am greatly worried." "Hey guys," They both looked up to see Tony standing there in front of them.
"I had to come over here to congratulate you, Thor." He poked a finger at Thor's massive chest. "The word is out, you're going to be an uncle!" Banner eyes went wide and he stared at Tony, trying to get his attention, shaking his head. Thor glanced up at Tony, "An uncle? How say you?" Banner cleared his throat and Tony shot him a look, "Better get that checked doc, it could develop into pneumonia, yeah, an uncle, congratulations." He took Thor's hand and pumped it. "Mr. Stark, you're not making any sense." Tony rolled his eyes and sat down beside Thor, "How many times have I told you, Tony, please, we're all friends here."
Banner set the tablet gingerly down on the table and removed his glasses, seeing where this was going to go. He figured he might as well watch. "Yeah, don't tell me you didn't know about Sarah?" Thor turned to Tony, "What about her?" Tony sat back in the chair and put his hands behind his head. "Just the fact that she's pregnant," Thor stood up abruptly, his hands balled into fists, "They're pretty sure it's going to be a boy." Banner grinned and gave a nod in Tony's direction. Thor looked about to explode, his face reddening. "I have talked to her many times over and she has said nothing about this to me. How long until the child is born?" Tony looked thoughtful for a moment, "Um maybe five months? Give or take of course, I don't know if you gods take longer to bake in the oven or not…do you?" He received no answer, however, because Thor had started for the doors of the cafeteria and was well out of earshot. Banner tapped the table with his glasses, "I think Fury said something about not telling Thor." Tony put a hand to his mouth in mock embarrassment, "He did? Oops." Banner shook his head, "You thrive on chaos don't you." Tony stood back up, "Well it makes for good business and they always say confession is good for the soul."
Thor could see Loki standing in the arena from where he stood, high up in the surrounding benches, He was dressed in his sparring armor, sword in his right hand, hair stringy with sweat, stuck to his face, breathing heavily, and he was grimy with the dirt of the arena floor. Beneath him, hands raised in surrender, were one of the trainers. After a moment, Loki gave the trainer his hand and helped him up. Thor started down the stone steps, calling to him as he walked towards the arch at the far end of the arena.
Loki turned and spied his brother coming towards him but kept walking until he'd reached the bath house where Thor caught up with him. Loki unlaced the leather armor that crisscrossed his chest and back, leaving his sides exposed, where a thin line of red trailed down his right side. He reached into the basin before him, cupping water in his left hand and rubbing it on his right side, taking in a sharp breath as the cold water stung at the cut.
"Brother, I must speak with you urgently." Thor said. Loki bent down at the basin and cupped more water in his hands, rubbing his face, his arms and shoulders, brushing the excess to the floor. A servant boy waited at his side, handing him a towel which he dried himself off with and returned to the boy's outstretched arm. Then he turned to Thor, "Speak." Thor shook his head, "Not here, this is a matter not to be discussed in public." Loki started to walk away from Thor who called to him, trotting to match his stride, "Brother, this concerns you." Loki glanced at Thor but kept walking, he reached the steps to the benches surrounding the arena and started to scale them. "It's about Sarah." Loki slowed, stopped and looked down at Thor who was rising to meet him. Thor stopped and put his hand on Loki's shoulder, "Sarah is with child, brother."
Loki turned and kept walking up the steps, his movements mechanical, "She has found another then. Why would you tell me this?" He shouted back to him, he was nearly at the top of the arena, "Or do you delight in tormenting me?" "Loki, wait." Thor cried as he reached him once again and blocked his path out of the arena, "The child is yours." He could see a change in Loki's face, and it traveled down his body, his breath growing ragged, a grimace, eyes flashing, teeth bared. He grabbed Thor by his shirt, "You lie!" He began to back Thor out of the arena and into the outer courtyard where he shoved him backwards. "You LIE!" Loki looked around him, eyes darting like those of a caged animal, rage building within him like a hurricane, and all at once, he began to run, Thor following him, yelling for him to stop.
Loki spurred the horse to greater speed, feeling the heaving of its sides as he raced down the Bifrost towards the portal. He had stopped asking Heimdall to let him look upon Sarah as the days had turned to weeks, then to months and the despair within him became hard and fast and complete and he had turned into himself once again, locking away that which even he now thought must have been a dream. Now the wounds which he had tried in vain to heal were opening afresh as he alit hard before the reconstructed portal and ran into the dome, steps before Thor.
"Heimdall," Loki shouted at the gatekeeper poised on the podium in the middle of the dome, "Show me Sarah Miller!" Heimdall looked to Thor who nodded, "So be it." Heimdall boomed as he waved his sword at the arch. Loki strode to the image, Thor at his heels. He could see Sarah, standing in her kitchen with a bottle of water in her hand. He watched as she took a swig of water, stared hard at her, looked at the curve of her belly as she put her hand down, rubbed it, smiling. Loki turned to Heimdall, all sense gone from him as he leaped up the steps to the top of the podium, "Open the portal, OPEN THE PORTAL!" Thor was upon Loki, grabbing him, struggling from the podium, both of them falling to the floor, Loki scrambling to his feet, determined to open the portal on his own if that was what it would take to turn the Bifrost towards Earth. Thor grabbed his foot and pulled him backwards, sliding down the steps as Heimdall watched them in silence. "Let me go, Thor!" Loki growled as Thor stood up, pulling Loki with him. "No brother, you cannot do this, you cannot go back without permission from Fury," "Goddamn Fury to hell! Tell Heimdall to open the portal!" Loki was shouting. Thor shook Loki hard. "No brother, let me return to Earth and talk to Fury. I will try to reason with him. You would put Sarah in grave danger by disobeying Fury because they would come for you." Loki looked at the image in the portal, his eyes shining with angry tears, then he looked back at Thor and pushed his hands away. "You must do something quickly, brother. The balance of the scale has now been tipped." Thor watched him as he stalked off and mounted his horse, heading back to the palace, then looked at Heimdall who was staring at him. "Go with all haste to speak with the humans."
Fury had just stepped out of his office on his way to Lab 3 when he was met halfway down the corridor to the elevator by Thor. "Director, I must speak with you." He said, his manner getting Fury's attention but Fury kept walking, "No time right now, we might have a situation in Lab 3 and I'm on my way there." Thor kept following him, "We can talk on the way there." Thor stepped into the elevator with Fury and it started to move, "I have been informed by Tony Stark that Sarah Miller is with child." Fury turned and stared at him, "Say what? I'm going to have to get me a dictionary and point out the words confidential and classified to Mr. Stark." Thor moved closer to him, "Is it true?" Fury sighed, there was no use in lying to him, "Yes it is."
The elevator doors opened and they stepped into the corridor on the tenth level and as they started for the lab, Thor said, "I have told my brother about Sarah." Fury stopped in mid-stride and whirled around, "You mean you went back home and told your megalomaniac, psychotic brother that he's gonna be a daddy? Please tell me it can't get worse." Thor's face darkened, "Despite what he may be, he is still a prince of the realm and my brother." Fury held up a finger, "Adopted, you did say that." "It makes no difference whether by blood or bond." Thor growled, "Loki wishes to come back here to Midgard to speak with Sarah.." Fury started off down the hall again, "Hell no, we sent him back for a reason, the same reason we don't want him to come back, out of the question." Thor trotted behind him.
"My brother is beside himself, desperate, and the Bifrost is now repaired." Fury stopped again, just short of the lab, "So you're saying he could come back anytime, anywhere if he was allowed to on that end?" Thor nodded, "We shall try to keep watch on him but you know what he's capable of." Fury was silent,
"When the baby is born, Sarah and the baby must also travel to Asgard so that the baby may be recognized by the Allfather and marked." Thor said, Fury shaking his head at the same time, but Thor continued, "The child will be special, it will have a foot in both realms but if it cannot be marked and recognized, it will never be able to call the Bifrost on its own." Fury was still shaking his head, "So when mommy doesn't give the kid its way, it's going to run home crying to daddy?" Thor slammed his hand into his fist, "You must consider this, the future of a member of the Aesir is at stake." Fury closed his eye and was about to say something when Banner stepped out into the hall and saw them standing there. "Mr. Fury, I was just coming to see if you were on your way, come on."
Stark was standing at one of the screens and turned when Fury and Thor walked in with Banner. Tony smiled at Fury, "Glad you could come to our party, I think the disco ball is ready to be hung up." At his words, the scepter sent out flashes of blue flame. "What the hell is wrong with it?" Banner pushed his glasses up on his nose, "Well with the scepter giving off increasing amounts of gamma radiation, the nearest thing we've come up with is that since it hasn't been used in a while, that the radiation is building up and it has to be bled off like a valve, you get it? That's the reason why Thor can hold it after it's been used once, the energy has to build back up to use it again. Until we figure out how to draw off the energy, we have to do something with it." Fury nodded and Banner continued "Either that or it's going to create its own portal but I'd like to think otherwise." "So what do you suggest?" Fury asked him. Banner looked at Tony then at the scepter, "Well I would find a stronger container for it, and get it to a more secure level than this one." Fury nodded again then said, "Can you come up with something, doc?" Banner glanced back at the scepter and jumped as it emitted another flare of blue flame, "I'm sure going to try." Fury looked at Banner hard, "Get on it and keep me informed." Fury turned to Stark, "I'd like a word with you in the hall, now."
Thor stood with his arms crossed leaning against the wall of the corridor. "What were you thinking really, Stark?" Tony smiled and held out his hands in surrender, "I was just thinking that maybe Thor would want to know what was going on, you never said don't tell Loki's big brother and Thor said Loki wanted him to take care of her. You can't really do that unless you know what's going on and now he can help her when she needs it, you know, like lugging a new crib up the apartment stairs or taking her to Lamaze classes, stuff like that." Fury put his hands behind his back, "Well Thor went home and told his brother he had a little bundle of joy on the way, tell me Thor how did he take it?" Thor looked down at his feet, "Not very well, I'm afraid, in fact, he very nearly tried to open the Bifrost himself." Fury stared at Tony, "And now he wants to come back to see Sarah, for what I don't know." Thor shook his head, "He wants to see her, that's all. Wouldn't you want to see the woman you loved?" Tony pointed at Thor, "See? That's what I said." Fury put his hand to his forehead, "We all know that's not going to happen." Tony nodded, "We know it, but does he? I don't think he's one to take no for an answer." Fury turned and headed back towards the elevator, "Then I guess he's going to have to try harder."
Loki had dismounted from the horse and walked into the throne room, a servant following him, begging him to put on a tunic which he finally grabbed and pulled on as he approached the steps to the dais. Odin was sitting on the throne speaking with Frigga when they heard Loki approach and turned to him. The look on his mother's face as she saw him, was one of worry. "Loki, what's wrong?" "Father," Loki said, his voice tinged with fury, "You must let me go to Midgard. I have had news which I must act upon."
Odin stood and walked down the steps to Loki, put his hand on his shoulder. "What news has put you in such a state, my son?" Loki looked up to his mother, then to Odin, "Thor has told me that Sarah Miller is carrying my child. I must see her." Odin turned and glanced at Frigga, "Thor has said that you are forbidden to return and as such, we must do what they ask until such time as they decide otherwise." Loki pulled from his father's hand. "They are humans, we are gods! Why must we do what they say? I must see Sarah!" Loki had stepped further back and was now shouting. The palace guards had stepped into the throne room at the ready. "She must bring the child to Asgard when it is born." Loki was reminded of the scene he'd witnessed, of Sarah in her kitchen, her belly starting to round out, her hand placed protectively over their baby and all strength drained from his knees as he knelt down and bent forward, elbows on the cold floor, his head down. "I must see her,"
Sarah was sitting on the couch watching an old rerun of "Three's Company" and folding some laundry she'd brought home from the Laundromat when she felt the first flutter of life, soft and fleeting but unmistakable. She held her hand against her stomach and once more wished Loki was there to share the milestone. The thought brought tears to her eyes which she wiped away with the sleeve of her shirt. Thor had come to her apartment nearly a month ago and told her of his visit to Asgard, of how Loki had been ready to open the portal by himself to come and see her. She had begged Thor to tell Loki that she loved him but Thor had said that to do so would only spur him to try harder to see her, he said that they must be patient and she had started to cry, saying that she was sick of being patient, had even considered going back to Asgard with Thor until he had suggested that it might not be safe for the child.
Now she was five months along and summer had faded to indian summer, the October sunlight peering into the windows at the offices of Stark towers. Sarah met Lily for lunch the day after she'd felt the baby move. "Just like a little butterfly, thought at first it was indigestion or something, then it hit me what it was." Lily looked at the bump of her belly, "Better you than me, dear, I mean I like babies and all, just other peoples babies. Them I can give back." Sarah laughed, "Good I'll keep you in mind when I need a babysitter." Lily shook her head, "Now you're pushing it, hey Halloween party time, are you going to the office party?" "No," Sarah answered, "I've sworn off parties. I'm going to stay at home and act like a tired old mom. Hand out candy to the apartment kids" Lily shrugged, "Suit yourself." Sarah didn't feel like a party at all, in fact as her pregnancy progressed, all she wished to do was stay home and ready the little bedroom for the baby.
She had asked the landlord if he had any two bedroom units available and he had said yes though it was another two hundred dollars a month and another flight up. She had taken it and Thor had helped her move two weeks ago, along with the help of the moving men Tony Stark had sent along.
Thor had been a great help to her in the last few months, even Jane had come along a number of times to see her as she'd now moved to the east coast, and they'd developed a friendship though she tried hard to avoid the subject of Loki when Jane was there. Jane had even gone baby shopping with her, helping her pick out a border for the baby's room, the night sky and stars theme not entirely lost on her, which Sarah had been putting up this past week. She had read about the nesting instinct women experienced when they were pregnant but she hadn't expected to feel it this strong.
She stopped by the drugstore that evening to buy a couple bags of candy for that evening, sorry that she'd waited till the last minute but there it was. She felt the baby kick while she was waiting in line and rubbed her belly, "I know, Fen, it's been a long day, almost over." She had grabbed a cat's ears headband and a black makeup pencil on the way to the register figuring she might as well have fun if she was staying home, watching Halloween shows and handing out treats for the tricksters.
At the apartment she kicked off her shoes and putting the bags on the kitchen island. She grabbed the wooden fruit bowl at the end of the counter, took out the lone apple and banana, reached into the grocery bag for the candy and emptied the bags into the fruit bowl/candy bowl then went to change into more comfortable clothes.
Thor had told Jane of his plan a couple of weeks earlier when they'd woke up one morning and at first she had totally denied him. "You're insane Thor, what if you're caught?" Thor had smiled that devastating smile at her, "But if you help me, we can do it." Jane had shaken her head vigorously at first and Thor had nibbled playfully at her ear until she'd laughed and pushed him away, "Don't try to soften me up, big boy." Then she had sighed and said, "Tell me again what we're going to do?" Thor had hugged her and started to tell her again what he had planned.
Thor had found Loki in his quarters that morning, still asleep, the covers of his bed looking like he'd tossed and turned for hours. He had set down on the bed and was now trying to wake him up. "Brother, awaken, I must talk to you, please."
Loki had heard him open the doors to his chambers but had remained still, hoping that Thor would give up and leave him alone, but to no avail as Thor reached over and shook him hard, "Loki, please we must talk." Loki, lying on his stomach, turned his head towards Thor and opened one eye, "About what?" At this, Thor leaned over and in a conspiratorial whisper, said, "About your chance to see Sarah." Loki put his elbows under his and raised his head off the pillow, "Say that again?" Thor smiled, "I finally have your attention." Loki turned over and sat up, "Of course you do, you great stone headed wonder, whatever do you mean, see Sarah?" Thor sat back, "It could only be for a short time but at least it would be time." Loki was now on the edge of the bed sitting beside Thor. "Well go on." Thor began.
"There is a pagan custom on Earth called Halloween, or all Hallow's eve. It's supposed to be the one night of the year when the spirits of fallen ancestors can roam the Earth." Loki stared at Thor for a minute, then, "But we're not spirits." Thor smiled held up his hand, "No but the people of Midgard celebrate this holiday on that one night by wearing costumes that hide their true identity and go begging for candy from door to door."
Loki sat there, blinked, slowly a smile spread on his face, "I think I'm following you brother." Thor clapped him hard on the back, "I have employed the help of Jane to get us where we have to be." Loki's face darkened, "Can you trust her? She hates me." Thor shook his head, "She may hate you brother but she has become fast friends with Sarah as we have been spending time with her, helping her to prepare for the baby."
Loki felt a stab of intense jealousy but he pushed it to the side. "So what, we go to Midgard and?" Thor stood up and pulled his brother up from the bed, "I have purchased costumes for us from a market with Jane's help. If there are agents watching her apartment, I am counting on us blending in with the crowd." Loki put a hand to his mouth, "Tell me Thor, do all people participate in this custom?" Thor cocked his head a bit, "Most people, it is considered a holiday for children," Loki opened his mouth to speak but Thor held up a hand again, "But the adults also dress up and go to parties. They enjoy it just as much as the children, so it would seem. We would look like a couple of revelers looking for a good time." Loki thought for a minute, "Well the plan has its holes, a couple gaping ones in fact, but I'm up for it." "Holes?" Thor asked, "What holes?" Loki had grabbed a black tunic from a set of shelves and was pulling it on, "Well there's the fact that you stand out, glaringly," Thus the costume." Thor added, Loki continued, "Then there's Heimdall, that's a big one," Thor answered, "You are in my care, just as it has been for a time now. He cannot deny me." Loki nodded, setting down on the bed to pull on his boots, "Then there's the big one. What if we do get caught?" Thor sat back down next to Loki. "That's why our time there will have to be short." Loki glanced at Thor, "How short?" Thor shrugged, "An hour, maybe two at best. I don't want to rouse suspicion if they are truly watching the apartment." Loki stood up and Thor followed, "So who's the god of mischief now, brother?" Loki laughed then, and all of a sudden, they were like kids again as they both ran from the room.
Sarah had turned on Garfield's Halloween and was watching it in between knocks on the door. She had left her service revolver in the drawer of the stand beside the door just in case but except for a few big trick or treaters, it had been quiet. "I can't wait until you can trick or treat, sweetie." She said, looking down at the swell of her belly. "We'll go to grammy's in Rutland and go around their neighborhood and Aunt Lizzie can come too." A knock on the door interrupted her. When she opened it, Lizzie and Daniel were standing there, Daniel dressed as Iron Man and holding a dayglo green candy bag with the words, Safety First, printed on it in black letters. "Trick or treat, Auntie Sarah!" He cried racing into the room. Sarah laughed and hugged Lizzie who stepped back and said, "Girl you are filling out there now." Sarah nodded and patted her belly, "He's going to be a big boy, like his daddy, and quite possibly a world soccer player, he kicks like crazy."
Lizzie sat on the couch while Daniel rooted in the candy bowl, "How are you feeling?" Sarah unwrapped a small candy bar and popped it in her mouth, "Alright, but I think my circulation is being affected a bit, I'm always cold, I was cold in August during the heat wave, I kid you not. This winter is going to be rough." Lizzie crossed herself and looked up, "Don't jinx us, geez. Talked to mom today, she wants you to come up to see her, pretty please with sugar on top. She wants to go garage saleing with you to find stuff for the baby, there's a town wide sale somewhere next weekend, and there's not much more time left to the nice weather." Sarah sighed, "I'll call her, I'll probably go up, why don't you go with me?" Lizzie nodded, "I will have to check my schedule but it's a good possibility." She looked at Daniel, "And now we have more trick or treats to gather don't we." Daniel jumped up with a loud "Whoosh." Sarah stood up with her sister, "You ought to go to Stark towers, they're handing out stuff and they'd get a kick out of that costume." Lizzie looked at Daniel, "How does that sound?" Daniel was already at the door. "That's my cue, love you, call me." Lizzie said as they walked out the door. Sarah smiled, it had made her night to see them and she sat down to watch "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown." And wait till the next knock on the door.
Heimdall eyed Thor and Loki as they walked into the gold domed room. "Heimdall, we must travel to Midgard, to a place called Fire Island on the island they call Long." Loki glanced at Thor, a smirk on his face. "To what purpose do you disobey the orders of the humans?" Heimdall watched Loki for a moment. Thor frowned, "Loki has been entrusted to my care and I am bringing him with me in that capacity." Loki couldn't meet Heimdall's gaze. "So be it." Heimdall said and walked up to the sword sheath. Loki had to smile then, Thor had lied, he was beginning to think that he was rubbing off a bit on him. They walked to the front of the portal and felt the familiar tug as they left Asgard for the realm below.
Jane was sitting in her green Jeep in the deserted parking lot at Fire Island, watching the sun start to set, enjoying the view of the lighthouse in the distance. She peeked at her watch every couple minutes, thinking that they were cutting it a bit close when a bright light appeared in the sky and was on the ground in an instant. She started the Jeep and drove towards it.
They were soon racing down I-495, Loki in the back, looking at a costume with a black robe and a hood with a contorted white face on it. "It's from a movie here called "Scream. I figured the less of you anyone sees, the better." Loki leaned forward between them and gazed at Thor who had put a red bandana around his neck. "And you are going to be?" Thor raised the bandana to cover his mouth and nose, "I am going to be what Jane calls a bandit of the Old West here on Earth." He held up a black cowboy hat." Jane looked in the rearview mirror at Loki, "I suggest you put your costume on now, we're going to go through a toll booth in a couple minutes and they have cameras at every one. You too, babe." She looked at Thor and they shared a smile, Jane wondering as she pulled a small eye mask over her own eyes, just how hard it would really be to identify them if someone was trying hard enough.
Jane pulled into a parking spot two blocks south of the apartment building and turned to them. "I'm going to wait here. If you guys get into a bind, call my cell phone and I'll be there as soon as I can." Loki stepped out of the car and Thor followed suit. Jane looked out at Loki, "That costume really says it all with you doesn't it." She remarked, the figure before her said nothing, instead raised his right hand and gave her the finger causing her to giggle and Thor to grab his brother by the arm as they headed down the street toward Sarah's apartment. Jane sat there watching them go and hunkered down in the jeep, "This is insane." She mumbled as she looked around her.
The agent sitting in the car outside Sarah's apartment watched them enter the building and mumbled to himself, "I know they get older every year but that's a little overboard.", and returned to the book he was reading.
Sarah had muted "Beetlejuice" on the TV when the last child came for trick or treat and she was heading to turn it back up when another knock came at the door. She grabbed the wooden bowl and circuited back around the couch to the door. Opening it, she stared at a man dressed as a cowboy and another beside him with a scream costume on. She hesitantly held out the bowl. "A little old for trick or treat aren't we?" She mumbled, thinking how fast she could get to the gun if they started something, she glanced at the stand then back to them, when Thor pulled his bandana down and smiled at her. "Thor? Oh you scared the life out of me, come in."
She closed the door behind them, started to say, "Who's your friend with you and why are you here.." but the words stopped there as she turned to face Loki. The wooden bowl dropped from her fingers, clattering to the floor as she put both hands to her mouth, her heart pounding madly. "Oh my god, oh my god!" She gasped as she reached out to put a trembling hand to his face. He smiled and put his hand against hers, holding it there. "You're real, I'm not dreaming." He leaned to her and kissed her, long and slow, "I'm real, and I'm here thanks to Thor." Sarah looked at Thor then turned back to Loki and put her shaking arms around his neck as he slid his around her waist, feeling the swell of her stomach between them. They stayed locked in a tight embrace for long minutes until he gently pushed her back from him and knelt down before her to touch the swell of her belly, splaying his fingers over the roundness, leaning forward and kissing her stomach softly. She put her hand on his head, smoothing his hair as he rested his forehead against her, whispering something she couldn't quite hear.
She glanced over at Thor who had looked away politely. She put a hand against one of Loki's and pulled him up to stand before her. "Thor, sit down please, it's alright." Thor looked at her and gave a small smile as she guided Loki to the couch to sit down. "Okay I'm going to say this and I know I'm right this time, You're not supposed to be here." Loki shook his head, "Thor thought of this so that I could come and see you. I've been sick with worry for you, I've wanted to badly to be here with you." He put his hand on her belly again, "To share in what our union has brought forth." A shiver went up her spine as she recalled that night yet again as she had dozens of times before in her mind. "I had watched you from the portal countless nights and days until a darkness descended over me that I couldn't rid myself of. I have been wrapped in that darkness until tonight. We are one, Sarah." She took his hands in her and kissed them. "I haven't stopped thinking of you, every night I hope and wish and dream that you're coming back to me." Loki closed his eyes, "I promise we will be together. I'll find a way for you and the baby." Sarah squeezed his hands. "Do you want to know what we're having?" Loki looked up, a curious expression on his face, "You already know?"
Sarah jumped up from the couch and ran over to her briefcase on the kitchen island, patting Thor's shoulder as she passed. She returned with three black and white ultrasound pictures and handed them to Loki. "This is an ultrasound picture of the baby. I had to have another one done last month because the baby is slightly bigger than normal at this point, they were thinking of changing my due date." Loki stared at the pictures, amazed. "See right here," She pointed to one of the pictures, "It's not a flagpole and it's not a thumb." Loki smiled, "We're having a boy," Loki glanced over at Thor who was smiling at them, "A son," Sarah made to take the pictures from him but he looked up at her, "May I take one of them back with me?" Sarah nodded, struck to the core when he mentioned returning to oblivion. He selected one of the pictures and held it, gazing down at it every couple seconds. "I've picked a name I think you'd like, Fenris. We can call him Fen. I already am." "Fierce," Loki whispered, "He will be fierce indeed."
Too soon Thor cleared his throat. "Loki, it's time we should be going." Loki groaned, "I need more time here." Thor walked to the couch and touched Loki's shoulder. "Brother, every minute we are here, we are in danger of being found out. If we are ever to get them to let you return here to Earth, we must go." Sarah stood with Loki, he hugging her so tight, it seemed he couldn't let go but then he was standing at the door with the mask in his hands. She kissed him once more, in a low voice he said into her ear, "I love you, Sarah," felt him touch her belly softly and they were gone.
Loki sat in the back of the Jeep, silent, the ultrasound picture tight in his grip. Thor sat in the front seat with Jane, talking in low whispers as they headed back to Fire Island, finally Jane looked in the rearview mirror at Loki, she could see his face in flashes as cars passed them coming in the opposite direction. "So you didn't say how the visit went, Loki." She felt a chill run down her spine as he met her eyes in the mirror. "It is a mystery to me how the human heart can stand such suffering without going completely mad. I can barely control the urge to run back to the city to be with her." Jane hit her directional and changed lanes, "Well perhaps us humans are made of stronger stuff than you thought." Loki said nothing. Jane glanced at Thor and then at Loki again, "You know, in Norse mythology, from what Doctor Selvig said, you've been married twice and have kids already…some bad ones as I recall. What about them?" She watched as Thor looked back at Loki who returned the look.
Loki sat up and leaned forward. "I've had this discussion before, with one of the agents at the office in fact. I've read the Old and New testaments of the Christian faith, quite for fun I assure you. I asked the agent if he believed in such things that were written in the books and he said to me that, in his opinion, the Old testament is a collection of stories, Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark…it is the same with mythology, the ancients made up stories about us, much as your modern authors and storytellers do, though there are truths and untruths to everything. I assure you, I have never married, though I have had one or two brief encounters, mind you in my youth." Jane glanced at Thor who nodded, "So you're saying that Sarah is your first? Bullshit…" Loki gave a mischievous grin, "I never said she was my first." His smile faded, "But she is the only one now."
They reached the Fire Island lighthouse parking lot half an hour later and all stepped out into the glare of the headlights. "Jane, I will return soon." Thor said, picking her up in a hug, kissing her tenderly and setting her down. "You know where I'll be." Jane replied and Thor put his hand to her face, "Yes, you'll be overworking yourself as usual." Jane looked down at her feet. Loki had watched the exchange and when Thor turned and motioned for Loki to follow, he held up his hand and turned to Jane, taking her hand in his, "For what it's worth, thank you for this." Jane was dumbstruck for a moment, then, "I don't know what good it did, Fury may still find out what we did. He's got eyes in the back of his head, I swear." Loki chuckled and let go of her hand. She watched them as they disappeared out of reach of the headlights and a short time later, the bright bolt of light that was the Bifrost, reach down and scoop them up to Asgard.