Sarah had prayed that it wouldn't snow until she was well into Vermont but she was now driving through Albany in a near whiteout. She peered into the snow, going well under fifty, thinking to herself that she should have listened to Lizzie and taken the extra day off so that she could have ridden with her to their parent's house. Her back was aching from driving so far and the baby had been tap dancing for nearly the whole ride, she was sure it was sensing her tension.
She was glad to be going to Rutland for Thanksgiving. Thankful for the chance to spend time with her family, maybe get her mind off Loki if only for just a day. When her thoughts started to overrun her, she wished even harder that she had gone with her sister the day before.
She was thinking about trying to talk Thor into bringing Loki to New York for Christmas when she felt her rear wheels slide a little. "Better slow down, girl" she said to herself as she glanced in the rearview mirror.
It was almost four in the afternoon when she pulled into her parent's driveway in Rutland and almost full dark. As she got out of the car and walked around to the back end of the Kia to get her overnight bag out of the trunk, she could see her nephew, Daniel with his face pressed to the living room window. She walked into a warm house filled with the smell of baking pies. "We're in the kitchen," she heard her mother yell. She put her bag on a big brown velour couch, took off her heavy coat and laid it on top.
Annie Miller was sitting at one end of the kitchen table with Lizzie and they were peeling sweet potatoes for the casserole and Daniel was at the far end of the table with crayons and a pad of paper, trying to draw a turkey. Sarah eased herself into a chair beside Lizzie. "We tried calling you a couple hours ago. What happened?" Her mother asked her. Sarah frowned, "Oh I forgot to charge my phone last night and then I forgot the car charger when I left so it died." She picked up a spare peeler and started in on a sweet potato. "Where's dad?" "Grandpa went to get pizza for us for supper." Daniel piped up. "Sounds fine to me, I haven't had anything since I left New York." Sarah sighed. Her mother clucked her tongue, "Sarah, that baby needs food too. You have to eat." Sarah nodded, "I know but the storm made me nervous, I saw a real bad wreck around Albany, two cars and a tractor trailer involved. I just wanted to get here."
They heard a kick on the kitchen door and jumped. Sarah could see her father's face in the window. "Daniel go open the door for grandpa." Lizzie said. Daniel jumped up and opened the back door and her father walked in, arms full with two large pizzas from Dominos. "Dan," Annie said, eliciting an answer from both Daniel and her father. "Big Dan," Annie said as everyone laughed, "Why didn't you call us and tell us you were on your way." Her father rolled his eyes and set the pizzas on the table. "Ann it's no big deal." He opened one of the kitchen cupboards and pulled out paper plates.
Her father was tall, barrel chested, with a slight belly and arms the size of logs with a stance like Paul Bunyan, a smile that lit up his whole face, a sense of humor and a knack for storytelling. "Let me just say, we are not the only ones getting pizza on the night before Thanksgiving." He said as he sat down and began to divide the pizza while Annie got plastic cups from the counter and a bottle of Pepsi from the fridge. Sarah put a hand to her stomach as the baby tumbled and curled against her palm. "I'm always cold nowadays. I asked the doctor and he said it could be my circulation. I'm thinking that's wonderful, another thing to go on my old body." Sarah said as she dug into the slice of pizza before her. After a few minutes of eating and banter, Dan turned to Sarah and asked, "So have you heard from the father?" Sarah was chewing her pizza and had to swallow hard to get it down, "Yes, I heard from him on Halloween." Dan nodded and smiled, a smile Sarah knew well. " Are we ever going to meet him? We don't even know who he is." Sarah stood abruptly, "I'll be right back, I'm going to get my phone charger out of my bag." "Sarah," She heard her father say as she walked out into the living room to root in her bag for the charger and think up something to tell him.
She was kneeling on the couch and had just grabbed the cord when she heard her nephew's voice in the kitchen and she froze, "I know who it is, I met him this summer at one of my softball games. He came with Sarah, his name is Loki and he's Thor's brother. Thor stood at the dugout and helped cheer us on. He's even bigger in real life than he is on TV.." She heard Lizzie then, "Daniel Jacob!" and Daniel's whining voice, "But mom, didn't you say that Loki was her boyfriend but we couldn't tell anyone?" and Lizzie's retort, "This is telling someone, Daniel." Sarah stood up on feet that felt rooted to the floor. "Sarah," She heard her father calling from the kitchen.
Sarah walked into the kitchen and headed for the counter, her phone in her hand, plugged in the cord and hooked in the phone with a beep for her effort. "Sarah," Her father said again, "Daniel here is under the impression that someone named Loki is the baby's father." Sarah glanced at Daniel who was now hiding his face in the drawing pad. "Where is this guy now? Is he in New York? Lizzie said you had worked with the father." Sarah shook her head and sat back down next to Lizzie who was staring at her plate, her cup of soda, anywhere but at Sarah. "He's not in New York. He's back home where he came from." Dan nodded, still the same tense smile, "And where is that?" Sarah had rehearsed the answers dozens of times for people in the doctor's office, the Lamaze class that she was taking with Lily, people at Stark Towers, "Northern Europe." Dan nodded, "Northern Europe, how northern?" Sarah put her hand on her forehead, "Scandinavia I guess." Her father's smile had faded a bit, "So what is it he does for a living then?" Sarah had wanted to avoid all of this, she had considered claiming it was a sperm donor but the very thought made her sick to her stomach. "He's in the family business. Power management, weaponry, something like that. His family is well off"
Dan stood up and started to pace the kitchen, really working up a head of steam now. "Sarah Bean, would you want to tell me why this man decided to get my sweet little girl pregnant then leave the country?" " Maybe he had to go back home to Asgard with his brother?" she heard her nephew say from the end of the table and she was aware of how uncanny children were when it came to somehow knowing the truth. "Asgard, where the hell is that?.."And in unison with Sarah, "Northern Europe, yeah you said that, I've never heard of it," She heard Daniel start to speak and she threw him a glare to freeze fire. He promptly shut his mouth and started to draw again. "So is he going to have his name put on the birth certificate?" Sarah nodded, "Of course he is." "And that would be?" Dan had sidled up to Sarah's chair. "Laufeyson." She said looking at her mother for help but she sat listening intently to their exchange. "And, "Dan said turning to his grandson, "You said his brother was bigger in real life than on TV. Is he some kind of celebrity?" Daniel shook his head, "No grandpa, Thor is a superhero, he helped save New York last summer when the aliens came." Dan whipped his head around in Sarah's direction, "He's one of them mutants? Is this Loki character a mutant too?" Sarah shook her head and said a bit louder and angrier than she wanted to, "He is most certainly not a mutant." Dan leaned over beside her and said, "but he most certainly is not normal is he." Finally Sarah had reached her breaking point and stood up. "Can't you all just be happy that I'm going to have a baby without grilling me like this. It's hard enough to be doing this alone..damnit, see what happens?" She said, trying to wipe the tears from her face with the sleeve of her sweater, "Damnit,"
She stalked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her old bedroom where she flopped down on her side, grabbed a tissue from a box on the nightstand and wiped her nose, angry that she'd been so weepy for the past two months. Everything had been making her cry, even sentimental commercials. At least this time she had a legitimate reason, she said to herself as she listened to her mother and father arguing through the grate in her room.
She had been dozing lightly when her sister sat on the edge of her bed and smoothed her hair from her face. "I'm sorry about Daniel, Sarah." Lizzie said. "Sometimes I talk too much to him about what's going on. I forget he's just a kid still." Sarah opened her eyes and peered up at her sister, "It's nobody's fault but mine, I guess I should have told them in the first place, I just didn't know how to tell them about him. I still don't." lizzie shrugged, "You could add in some white lies to make it sound not so bad." Sarah glanced up at Lizzie, "Not that it does," She added, "Just give them time to adjust and let's hope Loki comes home when you have the baby." Sarah nodded, "I'm more than hoping, I'm praying." Lizzie stood up from the bed, "Get some rest, I'll come up to see you later after we're done in the kitchen."
Sarah fell back into a light doze, listening to her mother and sister's muted conversation in the kitchen. They were planning a baby shower for her and she tried hard not to hear them as they planned the surprise party for the second week in December. She turned to the other side, covered her ears with a pillow so she couldn't hear them and was fast asleep in minutes, her arms wrapped protectively around her belly.
Thanksgiving dawned clear and sparkling as Sarah and her family started preparations for the big dinner while on Asgard, preparations were being made for a celebration of another kind.
Volstagg and his wife, Frida had recently been blessed with a baby girl and the court was readying to welcome the little girl, whom they'd named Ariadne, with a ceremony to recognize and mark her. Loki had stayed well away from the Great Hall, unwilling to watch as the feast was prepared, though court etiquette require that he and Thor be present to recognize a new citizen of the Aesir, Loki preferred to be alone with his thoughts until then. He considered riding out to the portal and asking Heimdall to show Sarah to him again but it only served to make him angrier each time as he watched other people, Lily, Jane, Stark's girl Potts, hug her and touch her stomach and laugh. He also considered going down to the arena for some swordplay but it was deserted, everyone was preparing for the celebration.
Thor was in his chambers, putting on his court dress, he had just fastened the red cloak to his shoulders when Loki walked in. "Brother, you aren't dressed yet for the ceremony." Thor cried when he saw him walk in dressed in a brown tunic and breeches. Loki crossed his arms, "I've no taste for this. Must we go?" Thor walked up to him and steered him out into the hall to his chambers next door, "You know we must. Just think, you will be the next one to have this privilege bestowed upon you. We must honor Volstagg by seeing his child is properly welcomed as well." Loki looked at the servant standing by his bed with his court dress in hand. "I will see you at court, Loki." Thor said as he walked from the room. Loki turned and grabbed the clothes from the servant who flinched at Loki's movement and skittered from the room as Loki began to undo his breeches and waved him away.
Loki had stood in the Throne Room beside Thor and listened to the Allfather proclaim the squalling baby girl a citizen of Asgard, had watched as he marked her shoulder and Volstagg held her high above his head to cheers and thunderous applause, then he had walked before the court, each one holding their hands upon the baby's brow in blessing. Loki had touched her head, felt the soft hair there, the satin skin and he had clenched his jaw tightly together, swallowing the groan that wished to escape him.
He now sat across from Thor, calling for the goblet of mead he had kept in his hand from the moment he'd set down at the table in the great hall to be filled and refilled. He could see Thor doing the same and wondered if he had meant it as a challenge as he stared across the table at Loki and drained a goblet in one gulp. Loki's head was beginning to swim. He looked up the table to where Volstagg and Fandral sat embroiled in an eating contest involving rolled birds, pieces of rolled lamb in a cream sauce. People were cheering them on, Sif and Frida included, the din drilling into Loki's head, he closed his eyes for a minute and when he opened them, he could see his mother up on the dais cooing over the baby Ariadne which she held in her arms, with Odin standing behind her and he could feel the resentment rising in him. Thor had risen from his seat, wavering as he slipped through the people around him, to give Volstagg encouragement. "Fandral is slowing, my friend, you have always been the stomach of Asgard!" Thor said, clapping Volstagg on the back, causing him to swallow harder than he had expected. Loki held up his goblet for the server who refilled it and he took a long draught, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Finally he stood up from the chair, sat back down when his legs refused, at first, to budge, then rose again, pushing away from the table, around the chair he'd just left, that he grabbed hold of to save himself from spilling to the floor. He walked unsteadily out of the great hall and down the torch lit corridors, stopping more than once to lean against a wall until his head stopped spinning, till he reached the entrance to the Bifrost just outside the palace walls.
Thor looked down the table, wishing Loki to join them but couldn't find him. He scanned the crowd around him slowly. Backing away from what was quickly becoming a celebration of Volstagg's victory over a moaning Fandral, he started to search the great hall for Loki. He wove through the corridors, calling to Loki, "Brother, where are you? The night is still young!"
Loki could hear Thor in the distance behind him as the immense doors to the outer bridge creaked open and he stepped onto the Bifrost, a foot slipping from under him and bringing him to one knee with a melodic hum from the crystal roadway. He stood back up, still unsteady and started to walk out onto the bridge, the wind whipping his cloak to the left, adding to his already weaving steps. "Brother," He could hear Thor only a few steps behind him as the crystal announced his approach. "Where are you going? I have been looking for you, oh hell.."
Loki heard a squeak and a thud as Thor lost his footing and crashed to the surface of the bridge. He turned and looked back at him, "I'm going to the portal, I'm going to see Sarah." He tried to increase his stride, veering dangerously close to the edge of the bridge, listening to Thor as he scrambled to his feet behind him, "No, Loki, you will not leave Asgard tonight. Father has bid us go to Alfheim tomorrow to restore relations with the light elves" Loki looked back and the effort caused him to stumble, "Father does this in a pitiful bid to keep me occupied.." "But we must obey him." Thor cried, hands outstretched, "Fuck you…..brother!" Loki growled at Thor then turned and kept walking but had only gotten a few steps when he felt a violent tug at his back as Thor grabbed a handful of his cloak and yanked hard. Loki fell hard, the back of his head bouncing off the bridge, making him wish he'd not taken off his dress helmet when he'd set down at the table earlier as he let out a cry of pain.
He rolled over and got to his hands and knees, teeth bared. Thor was only feet from him, struggling to get his own footing when Loki reached out with one hand, grabbed Thor by the hair and slammed him forehead first into the Bifrost which let out an agitated hum to accompany Thor's moan. Loki had, by then, regained his feet and was still heading away from Asgard towards the portal, he'd gone only a few more steps when he heard a roar and felt Thor plow into him from behind, sending them both skidding forward, the metal plate at Loki's chest clanging loudly as it hit. "No brother, fuck you! You will stop this insane.." Thor paused.. "Thing you are doing and come back to the great hall with me." Loki glanced over his shoulder at Thor. "I can't very well do anything of the sort with your great ass atop mine." Thor rolled off Loki to stand up but Loki got to his hands and knees, starting to crawl forward to put some distance between himself and Thor who grabbed at Loki's leg but put his hand through nothing, Loki now standing farther down the bridge, laughing until he lost his footing yet again, falling to his back for the second time, this time putting his hands behind his head to avoid hitting it again. This gave Thor the advantage he wanted and as Loki turned over to his hands and knees again, Thor had grabbed Loki by the ankle and was dragging him slowly backwards towards him. Before Thor could put his hands upon Loki's leg, Loki pointed his foot outward and his boot slid from his leg, sending Thor tumbling backwards.
Loki watched as Thor rolled over and lay there on the bridge, boot in hand and suddenly he couldn't control himself, he began to giggle. Thor rose up on his elbows and stared at Loki who returned his gaze and all at once, Thor started to chuckle, throwing the boot at Loki who batted it away and started laughing harder himself. He sat up on the bridge, reached down and pulled his other boot off, throwing it at Thor who caught it, both of them laughing so hard they could barely speak, "Here, you…great stone head….take them both and shove them…up.." Loki couldn't finish the sentence and flopped onto his back, laughing harder now. Thor, crawling to where he lay and punched him in the arm before he collapsed, the both of them panting hard. After a few minutes, Loki spoke, "Does she still pine for me as I do for her, brother?" Thor reached over and put his hand on Loki's shoulder, "You know the answer." Loki closed his eyes as the stars overhead began to swim and darken, winking out as the mead finished its work.
"I've found them," Volstagg said, "Pitiful, besotted souls." Fandral walked out onto the bridge to stand beside him. "So you have. We must do the honorable thing and bring them home mustn't we?" Volstagg nodded, bent over to Loki, groaning as his distended stomach protested, took Loki by the arm and threw him over his shoulder as Fandral struggled to get Thor to his feet, putting his arm around his shoulder. "This is insufferable," Volstagg grumbled as he began to walk back toward the doors to Asgard, "If he purges upon my cloak, I'm holding you responsible, Fandral, it was your idea to come and find them." Fandral was struggling to keep Thor upright, and glanced at Volstagg, "How is that fair? I have the bigger of the two to uphold all the way home" They were still grumbling at each other as the doors closed behind them.
December 10