I threw the math book on the floor after almost twenty minutes of trying to solve the same problem. I hated math. I had always been bad at it. I wanted J.J to help me. She was good at math. She liked math. She was good at explaining math.

It had been a week since I told her, and she was pretty much ignoring me as much as she could. I had never thought it would be so easy to not see someone you live in the same house with. The only times I did see her was when we ate. And in school. But she always took the furthest seat from me, and she didn't even look at me. She would even get out of the house before I woke up. It was annoying. And I was angry at myself. If I hadn't been drinking that much that night, then I wouldn't have told her. And then everything would be normal. Everything would be okay.

Mom had been asking me about me and J.J not talking, but I had told her to let it go. I could see that she didn't, but I couldn't stand her interfering. This was my fault, and I would fix it somehow. Even if it took forever.

But J.J didn't have only me to think about right now. Her Dad was still in a coma.

I heard footsteps from the stairs, and wondered if J.J knew I was sitting in the kitchen. She would probably turn around as soon as me saw me sitting here.

I looked up as I heard the footsteps stop, and saw her in the door frame.

I was surprised to realize that she met my eyes for the first time in a week.

"I think we need to talk," she said. It came out more like a question than a statement, but I knew what she meant. She wouldn't give me a choice even if I said no. That's the way she was.

I nodded and she came to sit opposite to me at the table. She took a deep breath, and met my eyes again. It was wonderful to look into those hazel eyes again.

"I've been thinking about what you said – did – and I need to think more. And I admit that it was wrong of me to avoid you for this long, but you really startled me. And I don't like being startled. I was a little freaked out, too. I mean, I consider you to be one of my best friends, and if you have feelings for me…"

"So what you're saying is…?"

"That I need to think, but I don't want to avoid you anymore. I miss talking to you…" She glanced at the book on the floor. "I miss helping you with math."

She almost smiled when she said that.

"I don't miss math," I stated and she looked down on her hands.

"How long?" she asked and I knew what she meant. We were back to talking about my feelings about her.

"Does it matter?"

"To me it does. I mean, could I have prevented it somehow?"

I ignored the pain it caused when she told me that, but I knew the answer without having to think about it. No, she couldn't have prevented it. Even if she hadn't moved in here, she would have still been the same person. She would have been the one I fell for. Maybe it would have taken longer, but it would have happened.

"About a year," I confessed and she nodded. "And no, you couldn't have."

She sighed and nodded again before she got up from the table. I thought she was going to leave, but she just reached down to get the book from the floor. She put it on the table in front of me, and I flipped to the right page again.

I knew she had to think about me kissing her, and I knew what the answer would be, but at least she was with me again. At least she was helping me with math, and talking to me. Looking into my eyes.

—-

"Mr. Campbell?" the teacher asked and I looked up. I hadn't been sleeping much this night because J.J and I had been talking the way we used to. That meant we had been up almost the entire night. So I had almost dozed off in class when the teacher asked me the question. But I wasn't sure what question, though.

"Huh?" I asked, and the teacher raised on of his eyebrows. This wasn't good.

J.J turned around and faced me from where she sat before me, and mouthed the right answer to me. Thank god for her.

"1875," I answered and the teacher nodded. He was just about to continue when another teacher walked inside. She looked around the room, and her eyes stopped at our row.

"Miss Walker, you have a phone call."

That didn't sound too good. Hopefully it was the hospital telling her that her father was awake again. I really hoped so.

I saw her grab her books and she turned to me for a second. She looked nervous.

"I'll see you at lunch?" I asked and she nodded her head before she left with the other teacher. And twenty minutes later, I was standing at my locker to leave my books. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I picked it up only to notice that I had a text from J.J.

'Outside'.

I quickly closed my locker and walked outside. I knew exactly where to find her, so I rounded one of the corners and walked for a minute before I saw her back against me. She was sitting on a bench, and she turned around when she heard me coming.

Her eyes were red and swollen, and I knew that it was really bad. I cursed in my mind as she threw herself in my arms and burrowed her head against my shoulder.

She didn't have to tell me. I just knew. Her dad was dead.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer. I didn't know what to say, or do, or anything. I just knew we couldn't stand here all day.

"I'm so sorry, Freckles," I murmured and I heard how the sob was caught in her throat.

We stood like that the entire lunch, and she didn't say a single word. Neither did I. But I knew I had to take her home. She couldn't be here at school like this.

So I leaned out just a little bit and grabbed her face. She met my eyes, and it was hard to look into hers. They were almost dead. The last time I saw her like this was when her mom and sister died.

"Wait here, okay?" She nodded to an answer and I let go of her reluctantly. I grabbed the books that was on the bench, and then hurried into the school again. I knew the combo to her locker, so I opened it and put her books in it. I grabbed her leather jacket and then closed the locker. And when I turned around to hurry back to her, Olivia was there.

"I don't have time for this," I almost sneered before she even opened her mouth. I knew why she was here. She had been trying to get me back ever since I broke up with her. It wouldn't happen.

I stalked off before she had the time to response, and found J.J again. She was right where I left her.

Her tears had dried, but her eyes were still swollen.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, and I led her home. She still didn't say a single word. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't response.

As soon as we entered the house, she left my side and a few moments later I heard how her bedroom door closed.

I left her jacket in the hall and walked up the stairs. I stopped outside her door, and raised my hand to knock. But I changed my mind right before my hand touched the door, and it fell to my side again.

She probably wanted to be alone right now. And if she didn't, then she would come to me. She knew I was here for her.

So I continued to my room. I left my door open and then lay down on my bed.

—-

J.J still hadn't said a word, and it had been almost two weeks since her dad died.

I still wasn't sure why he died, but his heart stopped beating. Maybe it just couldn't do it anymore. Maybe it was to weak to continue to beat.

I don't think he gave up, I just think his heart did.

I took a deep breath before I walked into the church and sat down beside Mom and Keith.

I hadn't seen J.J today. She had spent some time with her grandparents, and gotten ready for the funeral.

She was supposed to hold a speech.

The church was pretty much filled. Her dad had been a respected marine in this town, so the entire marine force was here. At least those who weren't out in war. They were here to support J.J. They were here to show respect.

I didn't see J.J until it was time for her speech. She looked amazing. Her long hair was let out, and she was wearing a dark lilac dress. It was almost black. Her hazel eyes were framed by think, long lashes with a few layers of mascara on them. She looked really tall up there, but it was because she was wearing high heels. She never wore high heels. She was tall enough as it was. She was almost my height. There was just a few short inches between us.

She looked out over all of us before she opened her mouth and I heard her speak for the first time in two weeks.

"Dad was highly respected in this town. Those who didn't know him saw him only as a marine who served this country. A hero. But those who did know him saw him like he was. A father and a husband. He loved his job, but he loved this family more. The second he would walk through the door, he would leave his job behind him and be with us. We didn't see him that often, and Mom was alone most time of the year because he was away. But now they're together again. And they will never be parted. People expected Dad to die in war, for his country. And I guess he did. He might have died here, at home, but he died because of the injuries he got when he was away. I remember a time when he got home a day early. He knew Mom was at work, so he showed up at school. I was sixteen, and in the middle of a big speach in English class. I took a short second to remember what I was supposed to say next, and I looked out the window and saw him. He hadn't bothered to change clothes, so he was in his uniform. The teacher didn't like me much after just running off without saying anything but I really didn't care, because Dad showing up a day early made my day. A month later, we got the call that he was in a coma. I got a few short days with him three weeks ago, and that just makes everything harder. When I think of my father, I don't see him at the hospital. I don't see him the way I've seen him for the past year. I see him the way he looked when I ran out the doors at school and into his arms. I see that big smile on his lips. Despite how much he went through, he always pulled out that smile when we needed it. I will always remember him for that. He once told me that courage if fear holding on a minute longer and I believe him." She took a deep breath, and I saw a tear glimmer down her cheek before she finished her speech. "Semper fi."

The marines in the room echoed her last words, and I saw her smile softly. She walked down from where she was standing and she gently let her fingers run over the flag-draped casket. She probably wasn't aware of it herself, but she held such grace at that moment.

When she had walked back to her seat, the priest said some words and then the marines walked up to the casket and lifted it up to carry it outside and to the cemetery. It wasn't a long walk, but it would last for a few moments.

Everyone followed in a lead, and I walked up to J.J to walk beside her. I wasn't ready when she grabbed my hand, but I didn't even consider to let go. Instead I squeezed her hand, to let her know that I was here. And I also enjoyed the warm and tingling feeling I felt where our hands touched.

She held my hand all the way to the cemetery, and she didn't let it go when we stopped.

The marines put the casket down, and I saw a few more tears fall from J.J's eyes when the marines honored their major. So I squeezed her hand harder and I held it until I couldn't anymore. I watched the marines fold the flag and give it to the funeral director. I had never seen him before, but I knew he had served with Greg a few years back. He was a friend of the family.

He took the flag, and I let go of J.J's hand when he walked up to her. He looked her in the eyes, and then kneeled down before her.

He empathized each and everyone of his words.

"On behalf of the President of the United States, the commandant of the Marine Corps, and this grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of your loved one's dedication to his country and his Corps."

She nodded, unable to speak. He gave the flag to her, and she took it with the same grace she held as she gave her speech.

A few more things were said, and then it was over. But the whole service had been quiet. And emotional. There was just something about the marines honoring another marine.

Once a Marine, Always a Marine.

As people started to leave, the same marine who had given J.J the flag returned to her. It was obvious that they had met before when he gave her a hug.

I walked away to leave them alone, and I walked up to Mom and Keith. I didn't fully listen to the conversation they had as I watched J.J and the marine. He handed something else over to her, and I saw her give him another hug.

A few moments later, she walked to us.

"Are you okay?" Mom wondered.

"As okay as I can be," J.J answered and glanced at me quickly. She smiled softly as she did so.

Mom put her arm around J.J's shoulder, and together we all walked to the car to drive home.