I put my toothbrush back and then walked into J.J's room. I actually hadn't seen her since school, and I guess we had some things to catch up on.
She was already under the covers, and I sat down beside her. It was obvious that she had been waiting for me.
"Did you find Olivia?" she asked before I even had the time to sit down properly, and I nodded.
"Yeah. It wasn't easy to get the truth out of her, but when Liam showed up… She's always been sort of scared of him."
"Scared of him?" J.J snorted and I chuckled.
"I know," I told her. Liam might be big, huge even, but he never used those muscles. If it wasn't for football. He's the only reason J.J and I were sort of popular – hanging out with a quarterback gives you that image.
He did have a big mouth though.
"So, the truth?" she continued.
"She's not pregnant."
J.J let out a sigh of relief, and I watched the corner of her mouth curve up into a smile.
"Good," she said. "How was your day?"
She reached her hand out and I took it without hesitating for even a short moment. Then she leaned her head against my shoulder. I rested the side of my head against the top of hers before I answered her.
"It was okay. How was yours?"
"Boring. It's not fun not being able to walk."
I raised my other hand and grabbed the side of her face. I turned it so that she faced me, and I met her eyes for a long moment before I leaned down.
I felt her soft lips against mine, and she kissed me back. I sucked on her bottom lip for a long moment before I felt her tongue brush over my lower lip. I opened my mouth and felt her tongue dart inside and I couldn't keep the quiet moan inside me as our tongues danced around together. The kiss quickly grew deeper and rougher, and tonight something was different. She kissed me with a force I hadn't felt before, and I loved it. She let go of my hand, and suddenly she was straddling me.
I let my hands trace over her body until they reached her thighs, and I noticed that she wasn't wearing anything else than an oversized t-shirt. She was always wearing short shorts, or pajama pants. This was actually the first time my hands were touching her thighs without fabric in between.
The tip of my fingers were almost touching the beginning of her ass, and I had to stop my hands from going any further. I felt her hands trace over my arms, and soon they were grabbing the hem of my shirt. She pulled it up and over my head, and as our lips touched again the kiss was even fiercer. As I lowered my hands again, I didn't stop them and they rounded her ass only to grab it, hating the fabric of her panties for being in the way.
We had been sitting like this for a couple of nights, but we were mostly just making out. This definitely wasn't the first time I touched her ass, but it was the first time she had taken the initiative to take my shirt off.
Her hands ran over my now bare chest and she locked her arms around my neck. My hands stayed on her ass, and I pulled her closer to me.
I heard her moan as I did so, and hearing her moan made me moan. Man, I loved the sound of her soft moan. It was just so… sexy. Hearing it was great. And knowing that I'm the one who made her moan… That's even better.
Without thinking about it, my right hand found it's way up and down under her shirt. It traced along her naked skin until it touched the underwire of her bra. I was about to go down under it, but her hand stopped me. Her lips left mine, and I opened my eyes. Hers were open as well, and I could easily read the lust in them.
Both of us were starting to gasp for air after the long and unbroken kiss.
"I don't want to disappoint you," she whispered and I shook my head.
"You won't." That was a promise, and she could hear it. How could she believe that she would actually disappoint me? That she even could disappoint me?
"They're not exactly big."
I almost snorted. Almost, but I didn't.
"J.J-" I started, but she cut me off.
"Compared to Olivia's… I mean, hers are huge."
I grabbed her face between both of my hands, and looked deeply into her eyes.
"You think I would compare you to her? Seriously? Nothing, or no one, can compare to you. I love you. Just the way you are. I don't want you any other way."
Her serious face turned into a soft smile after a moment, but I stayed serious. She had to understand how serious I was about this. How much I cared about her, and how I would never, ever change anything on her. Despite the fact that I would give her a better confidence if I could. I wanted her to believe in herself, like I believed in her. She didn't see herself like I did. And I wanted her to.
"I love you, too. I'm just not… used to this. Any of it."
"You mean it," I stated.
"Yeah, I do."
"So Seth never… He never… touched you?" I didn't know how to express myself, so I did it like that. I mean, he must have touched her, right? Who didn't want to touch her?
I placed my hands on her ass again to emphasize my words, even though it really wasn't necessary. She knew what I meant.
"Not like this. Not like with you. I never felt wanted when I was with him."
"Do you now?" I made sure. She smiled again, and I had my answer.
"Yeah, I do. And I love feeling wanted like this."
"I want all of you," I promised and she leaned down. I felt her lips against mine again, and the kiss took form almost right where we broke it. It quickly grew fierce again, and as my hands traced over her side she didn't stop me. I hesitated for a few seconds before my hands ran over the fabric of her bra. When I felt her tense, I hesitated for another second. But she didn't do anything about it, and I let both of my hands grope her breasts. I might have been outside her bra, but still… This was the first time I'd come this far with her, and she didn't stop me this time. I must have assured her enough with my words, and I liked that. I even loved that – how easily I could assure her. How easily she believed me.
I scooped down so that I was on my back, lying down. Then I rolled so that J.J was underneath me, but I made sure I shifted my weight so that I wouldn't be crushing her.
I darted my tongue into her mouth, and I felt her tracing her hands along my back. She pulled me a little closer, but then she suddenly broke the kiss.
"Dean," she murmured and I knew what she meant. "I'm sorry, I'm not-"
"I know," I told her before she had the chance to finish. "And don't be sorry."
"I'm misleading you, and I shouldn't be. I'm not ready."
"You're not misleading me," I promised. And she really wasn't. I hadn't let go completely tonight because I knew this wouldn't be the night. I don't know how I knew it, I just did. I knew she wasn't ready, and honestly, I don't think I was either. She wasn't ready for a whole other reason than I was. She wasn't ready because it would be her first time. I wasn't ready because I didn't want tonight to be our first time. I mean, Mom and Keith were downstairs. We weren't completely alone. I wanted this to be special, and I knew she wanted it to be special as well. And tonight wasn't special. If she would have been ready, I probably wouldn't have hesitated. I mean, God, I wanted her. In every way. I wanted her so bad. But what I didn't want was to hurt her. But that was probably inevitable. I knew it would most definitely cause her pain. Hopefully, it wouldn't. But it probably would and I wanted to be as careful as possible. I wanted to cause her as little pain as possible. And I hadn't figured out how to do that yet.
I flopped down on my back next to her and wrapped my arms around her. I felt her head against my chest, and I breathed her in.
"I'm tired," she murmured after a long moment and I searched until I found her lips. I pressed a soft, but chaste kiss on them as if to say goodnight.
I was about to climb our from her bed and get back into my room when I felt her hand around my wrist to stop me.
"Stay," she said and I nodded. We usually didn't sleep together. It was just that night after her father's funeral, and then there had been some few nights after that. I don't know why, it just was like that. But tonight she asked me to stay, so I would. But first, I had to take a shower. A cold one. Sleeping with a throbbing hard-on would not be comfortable.
"Give me fifteen minutes," I told her and she chuckled softly.
—-
"We have to go if we're gonna make it," she said and I shook my head. "Dean, school starts in twenty minutes. And I can't exactly walk quickly on this foot."
"Mom said we could borrow her car," I lied. I would be driving, just not Mom's car. Or Keith's. No, I was finally finished with mine. Liam and I had been working on it for almost a month and a half, but it was finally done. I can't believe it was actually supposed to be scrapped. Because of a problem that could easily be fixed. So I bought it for a few hundred bucks. Seriously, a 67' Impala for a few hundred bucks? What's wrong with the person who sold it? First of all, why did he want to scrap her?
J.J had no idea I was done with it, so she would probably be surprised.
Five minutes later, I pulled my jacket on and J.J opened the door.
"Wait here, I'll go get it," I said. I took the shortcut through the house to get to the garage. I opened the garage door and then sat down in the car to drive outside.
I pressed my lips together as I saw J.J's expression when she saw my new old car drive up in front of her. But I couldn't completely keep from laughing.
"You're done?" she smiled as she opened the door and sat down next to me. "And you painted her black."
I laughed again as she leaned closer to me.
"This deserves a kiss," she mumbled and I felt her lips against mine. Then she leaned back and I drove toward school. The normal five minutes walk took five minutes in the car as well. Mostly because we always took shortcuts when we walked, but we couldn't do that anymore.
"So, November is coming up," I said and she groaned.
"No," she protested, knowing what I was thinking about.
"C'mon Freckles, please?" I asked and she shook her head. Yeah, well I would get her into that talent show one way or another. I knew she had stage fright, but she had to overcome it someday. Someday might be in November. In front of the school. I mean, she should show people how good she is.
"Not even Jenna or Liam knows you can handle a guitar," I told her. I was pretty much the only one who knew she could sing. And that was just because I walked in on her when she was writing a song a few years ago. Otherwise I doubted that she would have told me.
"It's not my fault, okay? It's scares me to death just even thinking about playing guitar in front of people. And singing… I don't even go that far in my mind."
"You have to overcome that stage fright one way or another," I argued.
"It's not through the talent show," she said with a determinate tone in her voice. As soon as I had stopped the car, she was out of it and started walking. She stopped next to Jenna and Liam like I knew she would and then together the four of us walked into school.
I kept thinking about a way to get J.J into the talent show as we walked by the posters on the wall. Today was the last day to sign up for it. Seriously? Man, I would never get J.J to do that today.
But I could always… no it was mean. Or was it? It would give me the time I needed to convince her. And if it still didn't work, then I could always…
"I'll be right back," I said as we reached our lockers and J.J watched me.
"What are you up to?" she asked, meeting me eyes. Really, she saw it that easy?
"Nothing. I'll see you in the classroom," I told her and then turned around. I rounded the corner and quickly found the poster again. Next to it was a list, already pretty much filled with names. I scribbled J.J's name on it, and then glanced at it. There, J.J was in the talent show.