Edward and I sat there in complete silence as we drove back along the road towards Forks. The sky was growing darker by the minute as the last of the sun's rays slowly sunk below the hilltops. I reached out and used the sleeve of my denim jacket to wipe my damp, tear stained face. Edward would take quick glances in my direction every now and then... Sometimes it looked like he was about to say something, but he never did. About five minutes had passed until I couldn't stand the silence any longer… I had to say something. So I took a deep breath and slowly turned my head in his direction.
"Um, thank you… For coming after me" I said quietly, trying my best to stop my voice from shaking.
He remained silent and kept his hands firmly clenched on the steering wheel. I scanned his facial features while his eyes were fixated on the road ahead. It was very difficult to read what he was thinking. Oh God, he must hate me...
"I – I'm sorry" I added, hoping to get a reaction from him. But he still remained silent. "I know you're mad at me Edward… But can you at least say something?"
"I don't feel like talking" He murmured while clenching his teeth together.
"Please…" I whispered softly as I started to feel a fresh set of tears building up.
All of a sudden Edward swerved the vehicle off to the side of the road and came to a complete stop.
"What the hell do you want me to say?" Edward blurted out rather angrily as he turned to face me. "You left me standing in the bloody parking lot, looking like a complete idiot while you gallivanted off with some motorcycle riding, speed freak!"
I lowered my head in shame and uncomfortably shifted in the seat.
"What on earth was going through your head?" He continued to yell at me. "You're so stupid Bella, don't you realise you could've been killed! Imagine all the pain it would cause your parents if -"
"I said I was sorry, alright!" I screamed out over his voice, causing him to immediately shut up. I took a few quicks breaths of air before calming my voice down "Look, I know what I did was incredibly stupid. If I could take back the choices I made earlier, trust me I would! I'm sorry that I left you there, I really am... I don't know why I did it, and I don't blame you if you never want to see me again…" My eyes began to fill up with tears until it overflowed and I couldn't take it anymore, so I let them stream down my cheeks.
Edward sat there in silence for a few minutes while I turned away from him and leant against the window. Apart from my sobbing, the only other sound that could be heard was the wind outside, blowing violently through the trees.
"Bella" He whispered ever so gently. "I didn't mean to upset you… But you have no idea how much pain you've caused me"
I wiped my eyes as best as I could and turned to face him with a confused look on my face. Edward suddenly punched the dashboard in frustration and then ran both hands through his tousled bronze hair.
"I can't fight this anymore!" He growled loudly.
"What do you mean?" I asked nervously as I watched him slump forward against the steering wheel. "What are you fighting?"
"I'm fighting to keep myself from falling apart…" He spoke slowly as he sat back against the seat and raised his hand up to rub his forehead. "When you went off and put your life in jeopardy like that, it made me realise…"
Edward trailed off for a moment and turned his head to look at me. I must have looked terrible - my hair was all frizzy and wind blown, my clothes were a little dirty and my eyes felt puffy from crying. But I guess he managed to overlook those things and he gave me a small smile.
"… I realised that I'm growing weaker because I'm falling for you, Bella"
My eyes shot wide open as the shock of his words sunk in. He quickly avoided my gaze by turning to look out of his window.
"You're falling for me?" I squeaked in an embarrassing high pitch tone.
I watched as he exhaled deeply, causing the glass to fog up from his warm breath.
"I've been recently struggling to get through some difficult issues, and it's been a complete nightmare. I have problems sleeping, eating and socializing - As you can see I've blocked everyone out… Well, everyone except you"
I reached out and touched his arm in a comforting way. "Edward, what's wrong? Has something happened to you?"
He instantly snapped out of his trance like state and turned to look me straight in the eyes. "I shouldn't be boring you with my sad sap stories… Look at you. You've been through a lot today. I'd better take you home before your father begins to worry about where you are. The last thing I want is the Chief of police breathing down my neck"
"No it's ok; he's working the late shift tonight. Please continue with what you were saying a minute ago"
"Bella" Edward breathed my name beautifully as he took hold of my hand, which was still placed on his arm. "Don't worry about it"
"But I am worrying… If you tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help"
He looked down at our entwined hands and gently rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. "You're already helping… I feel like I can live again when I'm around you. Just, promise me that you won't try any more crazy stunts like you did today, alright?"
I gave him a weak smile and looked directly into his eyes. "I promise"
He nodded before slowly letting go of my hands. "Do you have your phone on you?"
"Um, yeah… Why?"
"Pass it here" He said, holding out his hand.
I looked at him quizzically as I reached into my bag and searched for my phone. When I placed it into his palm, I watched as he started typing numbers into it.
"What are you doing?" I asked, but he ignored me until he was finished and passed the phone back to me. I looked down and noticed that he had added his number to my contacts list.
"Oh, I see… So now I can call you eh?" I said in a teasing voice.
He gave a soft chuckle and rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah. That's the idea"
I smiled brightly up at him. How I left Edward for Jacob, I'll never know… But what I did know was that I never wanted to leave him again!
The rest of the trip home was quite pleasant. I made it a point not to bring up what was bothering him unless he wanted to talk about it. It worried me to know that he was hiding something that was clearly hurting him… But how could I help if he won't tell me. So instead of talking about miserable topics, we laughed and told each other embarrassing childhood memories.
Before I knew it, we had eventually arrived outside my house. I released my seatbelt, just as my stomach decided to growl.
"Sounds like someone's hungry" Edward chuckled before admitting that he was starving for a good meal as well.
"Edward?" I drawled out, biting gently on my lower lip. "I was wondering, would you like to come inside? We can get some Chinese delivered! That is, if you like Chinese food of course…"
He looked a little stunned to say the least, but after a moment he gave me a lovely genuine smile.
"Yeah, Chinese sounds great but…" And then his smile dropped. "I really shouldn't stay, I'd better be going"
"Edward" I pouted and crossed my arms. "Come on, I don't want to eat all by myself. And besides, I owe you for what happened earlier today"
"What about your father? I don't think he'd appreciate me intruding" Edward said, glancing up at the house.
"I already told you, my father won't be home til later… And you're not intruding, I'm inviting you in!"
He smirked and raised one of his eyebrows. "Is that wise? Telling a guy that your father won't be home for ages"
"Probably not… But I trust you!" I said, before getting out of the car and running around to his side.
I opened the door and grabbed his arm, hoping that he'd get out. He looked up at me and then sighed as he unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out.
"Alright, but if your father catches me and this ends in a mega disaster… You'll have to come bail me out, ok?"
I laughed and lightly punched him in the arm. "You're not going to get caught, I promise!"