Author's Note: Thank you to Mamacita for betaing. And thank you to everyone who's reading, especially those who have favourited this story. I really appreciate it :) Dx

'I need your opinion on something.' Lucius sat down on the park bench next to Cindy, where she looked out over the skyline of Muggle London and waited for her response.

'How did you find me?' Cindy's voice was neutral, slightly curious but not showing any emotion one way or another. She didn't look at Lucius.

'Lissy told me where you might be. She said you spend a lot of time here these days.'

Cindy nodded slowly and turned to look at the handsome man sitting next to her. 'What could you possibly need my opinion on, Lucius?'

Lucius studied the woman next to him and noticed with a rush of desire that Cindy was wearing the necklace he had sent her for Christmas the previous year, the pendant only partially complete. His hand strayed to his own throat where he wore the matching item, the completing part. For a moment he considered just pulling her into his arms and kissing her, knowing that her desire was as strong as his, however hard she tried to hide it. But he was aware that doing so would only serve to distance them further and that was the last thing he wanted.

'I have a decision to make about Draco and I want your advice.'

Cindy gave a short laugh. 'What you choose to do with Draco is no affair of mine. He's your son, Lucius. You and Narcissa should be the ones making the decisions.' She looked at him with eyes narrowed slightly and added, 'Unless it has something to do with Lissy.'

Lucius shrugged. 'Everything to do with Draco has something to do with Lissy eventually,' he replied evenly. 'You know how that works . . . .' His hand reached out to gently stroke hers.

Cindy pulled away. 'So what do you need to know so badly that only I can tell you?' Her voice held a touch of bitterness.

Lucius looked pained. 'Why are you making this so difficult? I just want your help on something. Is that too much to ask?'

Cindy's face was pure misery. 'We agreed not to see each other anymore, Lucius. If everything you told me is true, then this is as painful for you as it is for me. Keeping on meeting for odd little chats doesn't make things any better or any easier.' She looked back over the city, trying to blink out the tears that were forming in her eyes, a common occurrence whenever she was near Lucius.

The two of them sat in silence for a while, then Lucius stood. 'I'm sorry, Cindy. I'll leave you in peace.' His voice was dark and full of regret. He slowly started to walk away.

Cindy closed her eyes and breathed heavily. 'No . . . Lucius . . . I'm sorry. Please, come back.'

She quickly dabbed away the tears with a handkerchief before Lucius could see what she was doing. Lucius stopped walking and turned back towards the woman on the bench, looking as if he was debating whether to ignore her words and continue walking, but he soon returned to her side.

'I really don't mean to hurt you, Cindy,' Lucius said sincerely. 'I know how it feels, but just to see you sometimes is better than nothing.' He stroked her hand again briefly but stopped before she could pull away again. 'At least it is for me,' he admitted.

Cindy tried to compose herself and smile, but she only half-managed both. 'Do you want to sit here or would you prefer to walk?' she asked, knowing Lucius' habit of fidgeting when he had something he needed to discuss.

'Whichever you prefer,' he replied politely. 'I'm aware that I'm intruding upon your privacy.'

Cindy laughed. 'Yes, you're a real pain in the arse, Lucius, but then you always have been. Come on, let's go for a walk by the lake. We can talk there.'

They both stood and Cindy took Lucius' arm and the two of them walked slowly down the hill towards the lake. She smiled at a group of ducklings fighting over something at the water's edge as their mother watched avidly. Cindy breathed deeply again, taking in the early evening sunlight playing on the ripples of the lake and thought how perfect this was.

Except for Lucius being there.

No, that wasn't fair. If she was to be serious, it was absolutely perfect with Lucius there. Her desire for him burned as strongly as it ever had, but she just couldn't allow herself to be drawn back into a relationship with him. The problem was she was worried her resolve would slip if she actually saw him, which was why she spent her time trying to avoid places he might be. Which was why she had been so distressed by his finding her this evening.

Her hand reached automatically to her throat and fingered the necklace she wore, a gift from Lucius sent last Christmas; after they had split up. She was aware of the symbolism of the pendant and had originally put it in her box with all the other jewellery he had bought her, but eventually, she had retrieved it, knowing its symbolism was true. She was one half of their whole and always would be, however hard she tried to make it not be so. And so she wore the pendant as an acknowledgement of her feelings.

She glanced at Lucius and saw the chain around his neck; surely he was wearing the other half of the pendant. The two halves so close and yet so distant. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she imagined, just for a second, the pendant whole.

Embarrassed, she asked quickly, 'So tell me, Lucius, what is it you wanted to ask me?'

Lucius coughed before replying. 'Actually, it's quite a delicate matter. In fact, in some ways, I feel a bit odd asking you.' He seemed a little embarrassed.

'Well, go on. You came all the way here to do it, so you must have thought it was important,' Cindy chided him gently.

'It's to do with an aspect of Draco's education,' Lucius replied mysteriously.

'You're going to move him from Hogwarts?' Cindy frowned. That definitely would affect Lissy; and why would Lucius feel the need?

Lucius laughed. 'No. Gods, if I was going to send him elsewhere I'd have done it in the first year. Actually, I did want to send him to Durmstrang but Narcissa refused to even consider it as it was so far away.'

Cindy's face was a study in confusion. 'Then I don't understand,' she admitted.

Lucius looked at her seriously. 'I'm referring to Draco's sexual education of course.'

Cindy stared back at him, looking astounded. 'His what? Lucius, he's only thirteen.'

'Almost fourteen, actually, but what does that have to do with anything?' Lucius looked amused.

'You don't think he's a little young to be . . . what do you mean, sexual education?'

Lucius laughed. 'Gods, Cindy, you can tell you're not from an old Pure-blood family or it would be obvious. His education with a whore, of course.'

Cindy looked shocked. 'You want to send Draco to a whore because he's almost fourteen?'

'Well, the boy does need to get some experience,' Lucius replied mildly.

'Does he? Why? So he can seduce my daughter?' Cindy looked outraged. 'I can't believe you're even contemplating this, Lucius.' Her laugh was almost hysterical.

'Interesting reaction,' Lucius replied seriously. 'Not exactly what I'd expected, but definitely interesting.'

'So what did you expect?' Cindy asked. She had stopped walking and turned to face Lucius angrily, her hands on her hips. 'Me to say, "What a fantastic idea. Send your son off to a whore then let him practice on my daughter"?'

Lucius rolled his eyes in exasperation. 'Let's keep Lissy out of this for a moment, shall we? If she's anything like her mother she won't be giving Draco anything until she's ready to.'

Cindy looked furious but bit her lip, trying to calm her temper.

'I obviously didn't explain this very well,' Lucius said, trying to placate the angry woman. 'I'll start again, shall I? It has long been a Pure-blood tradition to send sons of a certain age to whores to gain a thorough grounding in providing sexual fulfilment for their women. This has been going on for centuries and is generally considered something of a rite of passage for the young man involved.

'Originally, I am sure it was so the women would not have to suffer dreadful wedding nights, but as times got more . . . liberal, obviously it came in useful in other ways, too.' He smiled at Cindy and reached out to stroke her face.

'I'm sure you remember our first time,' he said gently.

Cindy gave a small nod. 'But why now?' she asked.

'Centuries ago they were all getting married by the time they were thirteen or fourteen, so they'd get their training at ten or eleven,' explained Lucius. 'These days everyone seems to be at it by the time they've reached fourteen or fifteen — oh, don't tell me they're not, Cindy, you know we were — so now seems like the right time.'

'What does Narcissa think of this?' Cindy asked, still trying to get her head around the idea that this was considered normal. But of course it was normal to the sort of people who thought being betrothed at the age of eight was normal.

'Well, of course, she's all for it. Anything to do with tradition is fine by Narcissa. But that's why I wanted to ask your opinion.'

'Why? You wanted to know if I thought it was a good idea? Or if I thought it was sick?'

'Either, or both. I genuinely want to know how you feel about it. But not just from your perspective as a mother.' Lucius gazed at her intently. 'I want to know from your perspective from within our relationship.'

'What? But why? What does that have to do with it?'

They had reached a bench and Lucius pulled Cindy down onto it, holding her hands tightly as he continued to look at her.

'I had this education when I was thirteen.' Lucius smiled at Cindy's look of surprise. 'Surely you must have realised I was far more experienced than you?'

'Yes, of course. But I'd just assumed it was from whatever you Slytherins got up to. I mean, everyone knew you were all rather more advanced than the rest of us,' Cindy admitted.

'Well, it was in a way. All the old Pure-blood families have always educated their sons that way. Of course, part of it was to make you a man, but a larger part was the education on how to give a woman pleasure. The matriarch is still very strong within the Pure-blood families. So by the time you and I were ready to make love I could give you exactly what you needed, be the best lover you could ever have wanted. I could never have done that if I hadn't had my training.

'What I'm wondering, though, is whether it's better to give Draco that experience? Obviously, it would be easier for Lissy—' He smiled as Cindy started to protest. 'Cindy, you know it'll happen, whether we want it to or not. They are as attracted to each other as we were. Who was going to keep us apart? No one.'

'I know,' Cindy replied, sighing. 'But I feel uneasy about knowing that Draco will have had all this experience. What if he pressures her?'

'I told you. I'd had the same experience but it didn't sway you into doing anything you didn't want to, did it? Lissy's a sensible girl, like her mother.' Lucius smiled at Cindy again. 'She won't do anything unless she wants to. I don't know if you've actually seen the two of them together recently?' He laughed and shook his head as he continued, 'what I'm not sure about is whether it is better for Draco to have the experience and, therefore, be prepared for what comes in the future or for me to leave him to experience it firsthand with Lissy.'

He reached out to touch Cindy's face again.

'You know, I sometimes wonder what it would have been like for the two of us to have found each other together, for us to have shared all those new experiences. Would it have been as good if I hadn't known exactly what to do to make you come? Or would it have been even more exquisite than it already was? That's what I want to know, that's what I need your opinion on.'

Cindy looked at the gorgeous man in front of her and a rush of love raced through her. She yearned to reach out and touch him but knew she couldn't. If she did that she would be lost. She sighed and removed his hand from her face.

'I really don't know, Lucius,' she admitted. 'I can only judge by what happened, not what might have happened. I'll admit it was easier for me with you being experienced. I was scared and you calmed me. Would you have been able to do that if you'd been as scared as me? Or would you have even been scared?'

Lucius shrugged. 'I'm not sure I ever was,' he replied. 'All I ever remember was wanting you. Although I have to admit that after Abraxas sent me to the whores my view of you changed completely. I realised how much pleasure I could give you, how much pleasure you could give me. And I burned with desire to show you how much I wanted you. But you weren't interested. It was incredibly frustrating!'

'Oh, God, yes, I remember!' Cindy exclaimed, laughing. 'I didn't know what had happened to you. Before the holiday you'd been your normal self and you came back a sex maniac!'

'I was not a sex maniac!' replied Lucius indignantly. 'I was just desperate to prove my love for you in a more physical way.' The two of them laughed companionably.

'You know, I think you should let Draco grow up on his own, Lucius. I think this is like childhood betrothal — something better not done. Draco and Lissy will find each other soon enough without any help from us. We would have done.' Cindy took Lucius' hands.

'But would it have been as good?' Lucius looked deep into Cindy's eyes. 'I knew how to make you come because of the training. Without that, I doubt I'd have given you anywhere near the amount of pleasure. I bet you wouldn't have come.'

'I don't think it would have mattered,' Cindy replied honestly. 'I just wanted to be with you; that was pleasure enough. The rest was a bonus. Anyway, if they practice anywhere near as much as we did, I'm sure they'll soon be experts!'

The two of them laughed again. They sat closer now, Cindy's head resting on Lucius' shoulder as they watched the sodium lights of Muggle London come on in the descending twilight.

'Those were good days,' Lucius said with a smile. 'But I think you're right. I think Draco is more than capable enough of making his own discoveries. Are you ready to go? I'll see you safely home.'

'You did know it was a questionable thing to do, didn't you?' Cindy asked as they walked arm in arm back up the hill. 'Or you wouldn't have asked me.'

'As I said, it's an old, traditional thing, but it does seem a bit outmoded. Actually, knowing those two, it would probably be too late anyway.' Lucius smirked.

'What do you mean?' Cindy asked in horror, feeling her stomach do a little somersault of panic at the idea that Lissy and Draco had become far more intimate than she would have liked at their age.

'Just that Lissy's got Draco so completely wrapped around her little finger I have a feeling he might refuse to go to a whore if he thought she'd find out about it,' Lucius said with a smile. 'She's really got him reeled in.'

Cindy relaxed and gave a small laugh of relief as Lucius wrapped his arms around her waist and Apparated them to her home.

Cindy walked down the alley towards Mario's bistro, her heart thumping in her chest. What was she doing here? After everything she had said about not seeing Lucius anymore, yet here she was meeting him for lunch. She straightened her blouse then took a deep breath as she opened the door and stepped inside.

Mario immediately came over to her, smiling with pleasure and welcoming her effusively before showing her over to the booth where Lucius already sat, looking astonishingly handsome as always. He smiled happily as she slid into the seat opposite him.

'It's good to see you, Cindy,' Lucius said smoothly, his eyes taking in every inch of her, his smile growing broader as he noticed that she still wore the necklace.

'And you, Lucius,' Cindy replied sincerely, noting how much more relaxed and casual he looked than usual. His shirt, unbuttoned at the neck, showed just a hint of the hair on his chest and, of course, the slender chain of the necklace.

'I think Mario's already chosen our food,' Lucius said with a laugh as he poured her a glass of wine. 'I think he's missed us.'

'Well, it has been quite a while,' Cindy admitted. 'So how have you been?' she asked after taking a sip of her wine, delicious as usual.

'Oh, much the same as usual. Back and forth to the Ministry of Magic. You know how Cornelius relies on me,' Lucius replied smirking. 'And how have you been?' He looked at her intently.

'Good.' Cindy nodded as if this would make the word true. 'Busy at home, you know how it is . . . .'

Fortunately, their meal arrived before they had to make any further conversation. The next few minutes were spent discussing with Mario the food he had brought them and for the rest of the meal they made general small talk while they ate.

'So, did you make a final decision about Draco?' Cindy asked with interest as she blew on her tea to cool it down before taking a sip.

'Yes, I decided to leave him to it. I can always give him a few words of advice if he needs them.'

Cindy laughed. 'I'm sure he'd love to have your advice, Lucius. You do realise he'd be horrified to think you still have sex at your age.'

Lucius looked mortified. 'We're not that old!'

'No, but think back to when we were at school. Did you really think your parents still did it? I know I certainly didn't. God, it was bad enough if I ever caught them kissing. Actually, even holding hands was pushing it.'

Lucius grinned. 'You know, you're right. Mind you, I don't think my parents ever did have sex, at least not with each other. But I'm sure we don't seem as old as our parents were.'

Cindy chuckled. 'Not to us, but to our kids we're ancient! I know that by the way Lissy looks at me sometimes when I say things. I can tell she's embarrassed by me but is trying hard not to show it. Draco's the same. I've seen him in action, especially with Narcissa.'

'Well, of course, they know it all, don't they?' Lucius said, nodding his head in agreement. 'But I guess we were the same at their age. Perhaps I won't bother with the sex advice, though. I wouldn't want to scar the poor boy for life.'

He took Cindy's hand and caressed it gently as they talked. For a moment she considered pulling her hand away, but she didn't.

'I've missed you so much,' Lucius whispered into Cindy's hair as they held each other tightly. They were in the alley outside the Bistro.

'I know . . . I've missed you, too,' Cindy admitted, her voice breaking with emotion. She pulled his head towards her and their lips met, tentatively at first, then with more passion, both needing the other completely.

A few minutes later the kiss finished. They were now in an alley near a hotel they had used several times in the past. Cindy looked at Lucius questioningly.

'Please?' he whispered, caressing her face. Cindy nodded slowly, unable to speak, and silently Lucius led her to the hotel.

'I only ever had three wishes where you were concerned, my love,' Lucius whispered much later, brushing Cindy's hair from her face as she lay in his arms in the comfortable bed. Cindy looked at him interestedly.

'To make you mine, to make you come and to marry you.' Lucius' dark and seductive voice made a shiver run up Cindy's spine. 'I managed the first two.' He broke off to kiss her again. 'I'm still working on the third.'

Cindy laughed. 'I think you might have to give up on that one, Lucius.'

'Why?'

'Because you're already married!'

Lucius waved away her comment with a laugh. 'A mere technicality.' He winked.

'And because I'm already married,' Cindy added, giggling.

'Now you're just looking for obstacles,' Lucius chided jokingly. 'Don't think a couple of little setbacks like that are going to stop me.'

Cindy rolled on top of him so their noses were almost touching. 'I love you, Lucius, but I don't think we're ever going get married,' she said gently. 'There are too many things in the way.' She kissed him as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down so she was underneath him.

Lucius looked at her seriously. 'One day I will marry you, Cindy,' he promised. 'I know it will happen eventually. I'm sure of it.'

'I wish I could be so sure,' she replied wistfully. She smiled at him as he leant towards her for another kiss but instead whispered a suggestion in her ear. She laughed with pleasure.

'You're not nineteen anymore,' she said, 'and neither am I. I think we need to be a little more sedate. What would our children think?'

She squealed as Lucius started to tickle her and soon the two of them were rolling around the bed amid gales of laughter as they attacked each other ferociously.

'I was serious about what I said about the wishes,' Lucius said quietly a while later when they were once again lying in each other's arms. Cindy listened carefully, understanding that he obviously wanted to tell her something important. He was rarely this talkative in bed.

'I can still remember exactly how I felt the first time we made love; when I knew you really did belong to me. All the times I'd dreamed of being with you, and then, finally, you really were mine.' His fingers caressed her shoulder as he spoke, his voice almost dreamy.

'Of course, making you come was much easier. After the training I'd had, it was almost a given. I don't think I could have made love to you without making you come. It was as important to me as us making love in the first place . . . and hopefully, it always will be.' He kissed Cindy's forehead.

'Oh, but to marry you! The one thing I wanted more than any other, the one thing that eluded me.' His fingers moved across her collarbone and down towards her breasts, tracing an intricate pattern as he continued to talk.

'Cindy, I tried to explain at the time, but I couldn't. Couldn't find the words, couldn't tell you the truth, couldn't admit what an absolute mess I'd made of my life; and so I lost you, and I thought I'd never be happy again. But now I have another chance. You belong to me again, and I can't let you go.'

He closed his eyes, his breathing hard as if trying to work out what to say. 'I know I've hurt you, both in the past and recently. And I really am very sorry for that. I wish I could tell you I'll never hurt you again, but I already know I will. I can't help but do so. But I love you so much I can't even consider letting you go. Selfish, I know, but then I've always been a selfish man.'

He moved slightly so he was above Cindy, holding her in his arms, his fingers caressing her shoulder again. 'I have to explain, have to tell you about what happened in the past. You need to understand why things are as they are. Will you listen to me?' He looked at her seriously, his face taut, the strain obvious. Cindy nodded, knowing that finally, she was going to hear the things she had wondered about for most of her life.

'It's going to hurt,' Lucius warned her, 'both of us. But I'm hoping that by the end you'll understand just how much I love you, have always loved you.'

Cindy raised her hand to indicate a time-out and climbed off the bed. She went over to pour them both a glass of wine from the bottle resting in a wine cooler on a table in the corner of the room. She put the bottle back in the cooler, moved it to the bedside table, and handed the glasses to Lucius as she climbed back onto the bed, then settled herself comfortably against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

'Tell me, then,' she said softly.

'I need to start at the very beginning,' Lucius said, his voice seductive and strong. 'Right back to before the first time I met you . . . the day my life changed forever.

'Abraxas had brought me up from an infant to believe in Pure-blood supremacy. I never questioned it. I didn't know any Mudbloods or Muggles, and I'd rarely even met a Half-blood. Until I went to Hogwarts all my friends were Pure-blood, and almost all of them came from Slytherin families.

'I set off for the station that morning secure in the knowledge that I would be Sorted into Slytherin, knowing I was already the leader of my group. As you know, I was betrothed to Narcissa, too, but that had been the case for so long I never really thought about it. It certainly wasn't going to stop me having the fun I wanted at school. The last thing my father told me before I left for the station was that I was to make the life of any Mudbloods I came across a complete misery. Of course, I agreed wholeheartedly.

'And then I got to the station and you were there. As soon as I saw you, I just knew I had to get to know you. It occurred to me that you might not understand me being betrothed to Narcissa. After all, I had never met you before and had no idea if you were from an old family that understood these things. I cursed my father for putting me in that position. How had he not found you and betrothed me to you instead? I'm sure you remember how I followed you round the station and watched you on the train. I knew you were attracted to me, too — I could feel it. It was like we were two halves of the same person.

'When we got to Hogwarts I still didn't know much about you. You'd told me your name, but none of my friends knew you. And then came the Sorting. You were put in Gryffindor! Probably the worst House you could have been placed in as far as I was concerned. Even Hufflepuff would have been better than that. Gods, I'd wanted you to be in Slytherin and I couldn't understand how you didn't join us. But then someone told me you were a Mudblood! I couldn't believe it! You were so perfect, yet you were apparently this thing that was less than human. It just didn't fit.

'Of course, as time went on I realised it was true: you were a Mudblood. Oh, the irony! Imagine, the scion of one of the oldest Pure-blood families in the wizarding world falling head over heels in love with a Mudblood. I tried to avoid you, I tried to ignore you, I tried everything I could think of to keep away from you, but you were everywhere I went, teasing me and luring me without even knowing you were doing it. Of course, I told myself it was some Mudblood trick, that I could resist it; but I couldn't. And it wasn't a trick. It was pure lust. No, it was worse than that — it was love!

'By the time we were in our third year, I longed for you to be my girlfriend. But I couldn't tell my friends and my family would have killed me. I spent as much time with you as I could, but I just couldn't see you as a Mudblood. You were no different from me. Then you took me to meet your parents. Yes, I could see the difference in them, but only that they had no magic. They were no worse than anyone else I knew. But of course, every time I went home I was subjected to more vitriol on Muggles.

'I was seriously confused and upset. I told Narcissa I was in love with you and she was disgusted. Disgusted that I'd even consider you but even more disgusted that she was going to have to marry me after I'd been with you. I know you know the names she used to call you. But I didn't care. I was in love.

'And then Abraxas sent me to the whores.

'My view of you changed completely. Now my every waking moment was spent planning how I was going to get you into bed. I was still completely in love but I wanted more than just holding hands and kissing: I wanted to own you completely. I wanted to hear you call my name as I made you come. I didn't care who you were. I was so steadfast in my quest that I got careless. My father found out about us.' Lucius' voice dropped a little at these words. 'I never told you about that. I didn't want to upset you or scare you away. See, I told you I was selfish.

'Strangely, Abraxas reacted much better than I'd anticipated. Actually, he seemed quite pleased that I was so determined to sleep with you. Of course, it turned out that he thought I'd just use it to humiliate you. He didn't understand that I just wanted to show you how much I loved you.

'And finally, I got my chance, that day at the tree. Gods, sometimes I still can't believe I did that to you.' Lucius shook his head as if in disbelief. 'Still, Crabbe and Goyle were so stupid they never even realised what I was doing, thank Merlin. I can't believe you held out for so long. Why did you hold out for so long? I was hardly going to stop. After all, we were torturing Mudbloods, remember? But the rest of that day was exquisite. The most fantastic experiences I'd ever had in my life. And all of them were with you. There and then, two of my three most cherished wishes came true. And I was sure I could achieve the last. How could two people so in love not end up married to each other?

'And you know, I tried. I spent less time with the Slytherins, I put up with their teasing and nastiness, I even got to know more Muggle-borns and spent as much time as I could with you and your family. Florean was always a great help, always someone to talk to when things got rough — and boy, did they get rough.

'Abraxas found out we were lovers and he hit the roof. Apparently, it was fine to shag you, but definitely not fine to have you as my girlfriend. We argued incessantly. And then, over the summer holidays of our sixth year, he bombarded me with evidence that Mudbloods were harming the wizarding world.

'You remember I didn't get to see you at all during those holidays. I wasn't allowed to leave Malfoy Manor except to visit other Pure-blood homes. I was constantly berated for the way I'd treated Narcissa and for daring to have a relationship with you. Everything I did and everywhere I went was designed to reinforce the Pure-blood supremacy message. It was like being at boot camp. And it worked. By the time we returned to school for our last year, I was completely back on side.' Lucius looked miserable, but then his face brightened.

'Until I saw you. When I saw you at the station in that seventh year I thought I'd never seen anyone so beautiful in my whole life. My heart nearly burst with love for you, and I knew that despite everything I knew to be true about Mudbloods I would marry you.

'But of course Abraxas found out and he was determined to stamp it out of me. There was no way his Pure-blood son was going to marry a Mudblood. He took me to a Death Eater meeting. I wasn't alone, as you know. Several of my group were also taken by their parents.'

At this point Lucius stopped to refill their glasses, also giving himself a chance to recover as his voice had gradually become hoarser throughout his monologue. Cindy stroked his face and kissed him gently on the lips to reassure him before settling down against his shoulder once more.

'Cindy, I never told you anything about that period of my life. I know you wanted to know. I know you wanted to try to understand why I'd done what I did. But I couldn't tell you. I couldn't admit to you how bad my life had become.

'When my father first introduced me to the Dark Lord it was made clear what a privilege it was for me to have this chance. At first, I stupidly thought it was a social thing, but it was quickly made clear there was far more to it than that.

'I know that you know all about the things the Death Eaters did over the years. I don't need to tell you about that. However, what I didn't tell you at the time, because I couldn't, was that once you received the Dark Mark you were a Death Eater for life. I tried to refuse the Mark and my own father punished me with the Cruciatus Curse for being soft. Eventually, he threatened to kill you and your parents unless I took the Mark, so I had no choice but to give in.

'You weren't even aware that Abraxas knew about you, let alone that he knew enough to kill you and your parents if I disobeyed him. Once again my selfishness had caused you trouble you didn't even know you had. Once I was a Death Eater there was no escape. A couple of people had tried and they had been killed. It was clear that if I even attempted to leave we would all die.

'But still, I was in love with you. I couldn't tell you about what being a Death Eater meant and you couldn't understand why I would do it. Each day we grew further apart. I asked you to marry me. I told you one day we could be together openly, just not at that time. It wasn't because I was ashamed of you, my love — in truth, it was anything but. It was because I couldn't leave you open to attack from the Dark Lord — and he would have attacked you. I asked you to marry me because, yet again, I was selfish. I couldn't bear to imagine being without you, not even for one minute, and I still wanted that final wish to come true.

'But of course, you were the sensible one. You realised how far I was sinking and that you couldn't go there with me. It broke my heart to see you distancing yourself from me, but on another level, I knew it was the only way you would survive. And still, I was so selfish that I continued to pursue you, even right up till the last day of school — no, beyond that, right up until the day I tried to find your parents' house.

'Of course, by then you were going round with that tosser, Andrew. I had a few run-ins with him that you didn't know about. He even had the gall to threaten me once although he soon backed down when I proved to him just how bad I could be. But eventually you made it clear that you weren't going to talk to me anymore, and finally, I had to let you go.'

Lucius took a mouthful of his wine, finishing the second glass, then refilled it with the last of the bottle.

'I tried to keep track of you for the next few years, but the tosser did a good job of keeping you hidden. Good thing, too, because there were a host of Death Eaters looking for you, so I found out later — just waiting for me to try to contact you. I resigned myself to never seeing you again.

'And then the Dark Lord was gone. As were the Dark Marks. It was like it had never happened and I could return to my life. With Abraxas dead too, I tried to find you again, hopeful that I could persuade you to come back to me, but all I could find out about you was that you were happily married — to the tosser, of all people — with children. As selfish as I was, even I couldn't bring myself to stir up your happiness, so I left you alone and made no effort to trace you.

'Seeing you at the station that day brought everything back so vividly, and when it was clear that you and your husband weren't as happy as I'd always imagined you to be, my heart soared. Once again selfishness took over, and since then I've done nothing but pursue you as relentlessly as I did at school. In my defence, I will admit that I love you just as much as I did then, if not more. And my greatest desire is still to attain that third wish — to finally make you my wife.'

Lucius moved Cindy within his arms turning her so he could look at her face. He grasped her hands tightly as he gazed deep into her eyes willing her to see him for what he was and understand how much he loved her.

'But you know, Cindy, I'm not the boy you fell in love with and tried to help all those years ago. I'm a man who's done some really bad things, some really stupid things, and some pretty good things, too, and can't always tell one from the other. And that will continue, and sometimes those things will hurt you, even though I don't mean them to. All I know is that I love you with every fibre of my being and I always will to the day I die; and beyond, if that's possible.'

Cindy looked at Lucius in stunned silence, feeling the tears pricking her eyes again. Of course, she had never known about his reasons for staying a Death Eater, but to find that he had been forced into it was heartbreaking in itself. She closed her eyes to blink away the tears. She knew she should hate Lucius for everything he had done, but she couldn't. She understood his inability to control his desire for her. She had the exact same problem with him. And how could she judge him? What would she have done in those circumstances? All she knew was that regardless of what had happened she loved him just as much as he loved her.

She pulled the glass from Lucius' hand and put it with hers on the bedside table, then turned back to him and pulled him into her arms, holding him tightly as she initiated a kiss, first tender, then with more passion as he understood that she wasn't horrified by his confession. Deeper and harder they kissed, pouring all their love for each other into this one act. When they finally parted, breathless, they gazed at each other, pure love reflected in their eyes.

'I guess I belong to you completely now,' Cindy said, smiling, as her hands caressed her lover's body, enjoying the feel of him as if for the first time.

Lucius smiled. 'Almost,' he whispered, and slowly pushed her back on the bed beneath him.