Time passed in a haze for Jack. Between the medication and his body's seemingly insatiable need for sleep, he was seldom awake for very long. Whenever he did manage to open his eyes, there was almost always somebody at his bedside, ready and waiting to help him should he require assistance. He found it reassuring to know someone was always nearby, especially when a coughing fit left him breathless and in a fair amount of pain.
His team visited as much as the medical staff would allow, their presence keeping him grounded whenever his foggy mind tried to drift into dark places. He hadn't felt much like talking during the first couple of days; his throat was still sore and saying more than a few words made him cough. He'd been willing to listen, however, and Daniel provided him with enough chatter to make up for his own silence.
Once a day Lieutenant Morgan – a respiratory specialist on loan from the Academy Hospital – came to work with him, guiding him through a series of breathing exercises to help eliminate the build up of congealed fluid in his lungs. Despite the extra medication he was given, the process was painful and exhausting, especially when he was told to cough. Jack had resisted at first, but the young lieutenant was insistent. Even facing desperate threats like demotion and latrine duty, Morgan held his ground, and eventually got the colonel's cooperation. Little by little the trapped material in his lungs began to loosen and come up, easing some of the tightness he felt in his chest.
The one silver lining to Jack's misery came when Janet deemed him stable enough to be moved out of the CCU and into a room off the main infirmary. The move itself had been stressful, but the privacy he gained and the increased time with his team made it worth the temporary discomfort. There was even talk of a television set – with cable, of course – being brought in once he was able to sit up for extended periods of time.
Jack's memories from his first few days awake were a blur. Stray thoughts and bits of information from the conversations he'd had seemed to pop into his head at random, usually when he was first waking or just nodding off. Most of it was trivial: Janet's small talk and updates, Teal'c's daily readings from the local newspaper, Daniel's unpredictable tangents, Hammond's encouragement, and Sam's…
Carter…
The thought of her sent a red flag up in Jack's mind. At first, he couldn't figure out why. She'd been visiting him just like the others, although she didn't seem to come by as often. When she did make an appearance, she was quiet and withdrawn, two words he didn't normally associate with the excitable major. The thing that bothered him the most was that she never came alone, always tagging along with Teal'c, Daniel, or Janet.
Jack felt a twinge of pain flare across his chest. Its presence only meant one thing – his medication was wearing off. If he was lucky, he'd have a few minutes of groggy awareness before someone appeared to drug him out again. It was best to make use of it. Searching through his scattered memories, Jack looked for clues that might help explain Sam's uncharacteristic behavior. He knew she was recovering from her own injuries, but he doubted they were the cause of her avoidance.
Did I say something wrong? Did I let my boredom with the mission get the better of me? It certainly wouldn't have been the first time, but then Carter isn't easily offended by my big mouth or otherwise. Something must have happened before the accident to upset her. It's not as if she caused it or any…
He recalled a conversation he'd had with Daniel a few days before. The other man had come by to visit, chattering for over an hour about SG-1's last mission and ultimately the details surrounding the accident. Jack couldn't remember everything that was said at the time, but several of Daniel's comments suddenly brought things into context.
'…When Sam picked up the stone, it reacted with the Naquadah in her blood….'
'A powerful surge of energy shot out and knocked everyone off their feet. Janet and Sam were thrown out of the clearing, but you weren't so lucky…'
'She feels guilty, Jack. She's blaming herself for your injuries. We've been trying to convince her that this was all an accident, but she's still riding herself pretty hard…'
Guilt. It was an emotion Jack was intimately familiar with both his personal and profession lives. It could influence a person to do right, or slowly devour them from the inside out. Guilt wasn't like fear or anger; you couldn't avoid it or weaken its grip with an invigorating game of hockey. You had to call guilt out and meet it head-on; anything less was an invitation for it to follow you around like an oppressive cloud.
He knew first hand that guilt was one emotion that never truly went away. The people you hurt may be able to forgive and move on, but it was another thing entirely to forgive yourself. Sometimes it just wasn't possible. In those instances, you learned to box it up and bury it so deep you forget where you put it. The tactic usually worked too; except for the rare occasion when your own subconscious goes rogue and brings back the guilt in all its glory.
Jack heaved a mental sigh. He didn't want Sam to feel guilty for what happened off world. Even with his limited understanding of what occurred, he knew she wasn't at fault. But if the others hadn't been successful convincing her it was an accident, he doubted he'd have much luck himself – especially if he never got the opportunity to speak with her alone.
The twinge in his chest had progressed into a burning tickle. Recognizing it as an impending cough, he grimaced, and tried to ignore the tingling sensation. He'd thought coughing on command for Janet's underling was bad until he experienced a full blown jag of his body's own creation. The fit had left him alternating curses with gasps for air, and the protest from his broken ribs had nearly reduced him to tears. Thankfully they didn't happen very often; Jack didn't think he'd be able to make it if they did.
The discomfort in his chest grew worse. Fighting it was no longer an option. His body had made a decision without consulting him first, and there was nothing he could do to change its mind.
"Crap…" This is so gonna hurt…
Jack didn't realize he'd spoken aloud until he heard a chair slide back across the floor. Expecting to see one of Janet's nurses when he opened his eyes, he was quite surprised to find Sam's concerned face gazing down at him.
"Colonel, are you okay?"
His first instinct was to tell her he was fine, but as he drew in a breath to speak, he triggered the coughing spell he'd been trying so hard to avoid. The pain radiating from his injuries was bad, worsened by the diminished level of painkillers in his blood. He tried desperately to bring the coughing under control, but it was of no use. He was in it for the duration and at the complete mercy of his body.
Frightened, the idea of using the room's panic button to call for help never crossed Sam's mind. She reacted instead by grabbing a small pillow and firmly bracing it against his right side, mimicking the technique Janet had shown her off world. It didn't seem to do much at first, but then his coughing gradually began to ease and his gasps for air became deeper and more productive.
"Easy, colonel," she said, troubled by the amount of pain that showed on the man's face. "Just take it easy. I'm going to call for Janet."
"Don't…please, " Jack uttered, his voice hoarse from coughing. Janet's presence wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but he knew the minute she arrived Sam would disappear. He'd lose the opportunity to speak with her alone, and – if she was as guilt ridden as Daniel said she was – he doubted he'd get another chance anytime soon.
"I'm okay…just gimme…" Still too out of breath to talk, Jack held up a finger to indicate he needed some time. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, the fiery pain from his ribs making it difficult. He felt tentative fingers straighten out the nasal cannula beneath his nose and pass a damp cloth across his face. If it had been anyone other than Sam, he would have raised a protest. Being fussed over wasn't something he particularly enjoyed, but he knew she had a lot on her mind. If he pushed back now, he'd most certainly scare her away.
A residual spasm rippled through his chest, triggering another round of deep, painful coughing. Jack groaned and uttered a curse. I'm getting too old for this… He felt something small and square being pressed into his hand. He didn't have to open his eyes to know it was the switch for the PCA pump beside his bed. Janet had set him up with the self-medicating system the day after he'd woken up. Although she'd stressed the importance of pain management in his recovery, Jack had seldom used the device himself. He didn't like how the drugs made him feel, and it was usually the nursing staff that wound up pushing the button.
Sam sensed his hesitation. "Use it colonel, please."
Jack didn't like the desperate quality he heard in her voice. It made her sound nothing like the strong woman he'd had the honor of serving with for the past three years. The incident off world must have shaken her badly to be having such a profound effect.
"Carter, we…" Again, pain flared through his chest and he started to cough. If he was going to have a serious heart-to-heart with his second, this couldn't keep happening. He closed his hand over the PCA switch. The machine clicked and dispensed a dose of painkillers into his system. The drugs started to work almost immediately, dulling his pain and diminishing the need to cough. Jack didn't realize he'd begun to drift until he heard the familiar snap of a laptop being shut and footsteps retreating toward the door.
"Going so soon?"
Sam's hand froze halfway to the door handle. "You need to rest."
"I'm tired of sleeping," Jack replied, trying his best not to let the drugs slur his words. "Stay. Keep me company."
"I shouldn't, sir. You really…"
"Pleeease?"
Sam had learned early on that Jack O'Neill was a charmer. Although he kept the skill well hidden, he could switch on the endearing smile and vulnerable male act in an instant. It wasn't something she typically fell for, but given her guilt and his current condition, she found herself compelled to return to his bedside. "I guess I can stay for a few minutes."
"Great." An awkward silence fell between them, broken only by the quiet sounds of the medical equipment flanking the bed. "So…"
"So…"
"How's the wrist?"
Sam looked down at her splinted hand and tried to wiggle her fingers, flinching at the pain it caused. "It's all right, I guess. How about you?"
He gave a lopsided shrug. "I'll survive."
"Will you?" The words left Sam's mouth so fast she never had a chance to stop them. "Um…I-I mean…I need to go." Turning on her heel, she made a beeline for the door.
"Carter, this wasn't your fault."
She stopped, but didn't turn around. Jack had spoken the words she'd been both longing and dreading to hear. "Yes, it was."
"It was an accident. I thought Daniel said you'd accepted that fact."
"I've accepted that what happened was an accident. But I haven't accepted what I've done to you." She slowly turned to face him, her eyes bright with emotion. "I nearly killed you, colonel. I'm supposed to have your back, not be a liability."
"You're far from a liability, Carter. You just did what any curious person would have done."
"And what's that?"
"You saw something shiny on the ground, so you picked it up," Jack replied. "Even I would have done that."
Sam shook her head. "It's not that easy."
"You sure? 'Cuz it seems that way to me. This wasn't the first time we've been deceived by Goa'uld technology, and I dare say it won't be the last either."
"But that's just it. I knew there was Goa'uld near by. I shouldn't have allowed myself to become complacent just because it was dead. If I had, I might have seen the stone as suspicious and left it alone until I could have it properly identified."
"That's hindsight, Carter. It has a nasty habit of always being right. Trust me. I've screwed up enough times to know that." Jack closed his eyes for a moment, holding back the bevy of dark emotions and memories that were threatening to inundate his mind. He knew some of it came from the medication he was on, but most of it was the need to show his friend that she wasn't alone in her feelings. "This was a blameless accident, Carter. You didn't violate an order or blatantly do something stupid. Now if you'd picked up a landmine, we'd be having an entirely different conversation."
He was rewarded with the barest of smiles, but she still didn't looked convinced. "I'm not mad or disappointed in you, and you certainly haven't lost my trust. Life throws enough crap at us, Sam. Don't hang on to the stuff you don't need to."
Sam's eyes widened as his last words sunk in. For as hardnosed and detached as the colonel could be, he possessed a soulful side as well. Although not always the most eloquent, Jack always spoke his mind, or in this case, his heart.
"But how do you forget something like this?" she asked.
Jack arched an eyebrow. "Forget? Carter, if you can find a way to forget something like this, then you gotta promise to clue me in. Stuff like this never goes away."
"Never? Then how…?"
"You do what you can to make things right, and then learn to cope with the rest. The pain and guilt will get better, but you have to accept things for what they are now, and not dwell on what they could or should have been."
"Now you're starting to sound like Teal'c."
Jack grinned and closed his eyes. He was exhausted from talking, but it had been worth the effort. Sam's disposition had changed; he'd seen it on her face. He knew it would take more than a pep talk to get her through this, but it was a good start.
There was a light knock on the door. "Am I interrupting anything?" Janet asked, poking her head inside.
"It's okay, Janet," Sam replied. "The colonel and I were just talking. I think I wore him out though."
"That's fine," the doctor replied as she and one of her nurses entered the room. "We won't be asking too much of him anyway."
"He had a pretty bad coughing spell a few minutes ago," Sam explained. "But he didn't want me to call you."
Janet noticed Jack had opened his eyes and was looking warily at the covered tray the nurse following her had brought in. "Turning stubborn on us already, colonel?
"Carter helped me through it. It was no big deal."
"Other than the coughing, how do you feel?"
"Terrific," he replied with a healthy dose of sarcasm.
"Really? I thought you'd be starting to get a little uncomfortable by now."
"He is," Sam said, ignoring the glare he shot in her direction.
"Well, hopefully that's something we're going to resolve. I have a new treatment I'd like to try. It's called an intercostal block, and if it works, you'll experience more consistent pain relief and rely less on medication."
"Sounds good," Jack replied. "What's the catch?"
Janet removed the cloth covering the instrument tray to reveal the handful of items needed for the procedure. Jack blanched upon seeing the assortment of syringes, some of them several inches in length.
"Oh, crap…" he uttered under his breath. "Haven't you people used me as a pincushion enough?"
"I understand it's not the most pleasant method, sir, but if it works, the benefits will far outweigh the brief discomfort. You'll be able to breathe easier, sit up for extended periods of time, and you won't be as groggy as you are now."
"It sounds like a nerve block," Sam remarked.
"Essentially, that's all it is," Janet agreed. "By placing anesthetic directly at the source of your pain, sir, we can better manage your symptoms and reduce your need for potent drugs. You'll still need some supplementary medication for your other injuries and flare ups, but the amounts will be significantly less than what you're on now. You'll be more aware of your surroundings and the recovery process will progress much faster. So what do you say – can we give it a try?"
The colonel frowned. The benefits were tempting, but the delivery method was not. He knew he'd been through worse just in the past couple of weeks alone, but he hadn't exactly been cognizant at the time. When he considered the alternative, however, a few uncomfortable jabs were far better than weeks of being heavily drugged and still in pain.
"Do it," he replied quietly.
Janet smiled and indicated for the nurse to start getting him ready. "You made a good choice, sir. Intercostal blocks have a high success rate, and they can last for weeks at a time."
"And if this doesn't work?" he asked skeptically.
"Then there are other methods to try, but believe me, this is the least invasive of them all."
Jack sighed shallowly and closed his eyes. There was no denying it - this wasn't going to be pleasant.
Sam hastily diverted her gaze as the nurse began to remove the bandages from around the right side of her CO's chest. The bruising, stitches, and healing incisions were just too much for her to handle. "I should leave."
Jack's eyes popped open. "Stay?"
"I don't…" Sam saw the vulnerability had returned to Jack's face, only this time it wasn't a charming ploy. He appeared genuinely upset, and she couldn't bring herself to abandon him like that. She looked to Janet for permission. "Can I?"
"It's up you," the doctor replied. "A distraction certainly wouldn't hurt."
Sam found a chair and dragged it around to the side of the bed. "I'm not sure what I can do to help you, sir."
"Just talk," he said, grimacing as Janet gently felt along his ribs, searching for the first injection site. "About anything."
"Anything, colonel?"
"All right. I lied. Nothing girlie, please." Janet's exploring fingers hit a particularly tender spot making him gasp and jump. He cursed, readily accepting Sam's hand when she offered it to be squeezed.
"Just don't break my fingers, okay? I need at least one working hand."
Janet took the top off the first syringe. "All right, colonel, I'm going to start now. I need you to bear with me and keep as still as you can. You should ideally be sitting up for this, but since you can't, it may take me a few tries to get the needle placed correctly. Are you ready?"
"Ask me tomorrow," he replied, bracing himself for the pain to come.
Taking his comment as an affirmative, she began to carefully guide the thin needle through his skin and into the space between his ribs.
Sam felt him tense, but he never moved away from the doctor's steady hands. "You're doing good, sir," she said, allowing him to squeeze her fingers as much as he needed.
"Talk, Carter," Jack uttered. "Please."
"I don't know what say."
"Tell me what's on your computer. Games? Movies? Compromising photos?"
Sam smiled. "I try to keep the dicey stuff off my work computer, sir. About the only thing of interest on it right now is the information pertinent to the MALP upgrade I'm getting ready to oversee."
"MALP upgrade," he echoed. "Sounds like fun."
"Fun? Well, I suppose that's one way to look at it. I've only been after General Hammond for the last few months to authorize it. But you know how the government can be about parting with their money. This upgrade has been a long time coming, though. The software has been outdated on those things practically since we got them, and don't even get me started on the…"
Jack closed his eyes and tried to focus exclusively on Sam's words. In truth, he didn't care two cents about the MALP upgrade, feeling the squat, boxy machines were often more trouble than they were worth. It was Sam's voice and the passion in it that helped steer his mind away from what Janet was doing. He still felt every move she made, but the pain was considerably less than if he were to have attempted to go it alone.
With his hand wrapped firmly around his teammate's, Jack permitted Sam to ramble on. She quickly lost herself in her explanation, and he started to hear the old Sam coming back – emerging from beneath her shroud of guilt. Grateful for her support and company, Jack listened without interruption, and allowed her enthusiasm to carry him away from his pain.
A few days after enduring the painful process of nerve blocks, Jack was finally starting to feel a bit like his old self again. His pain had been worse at first, but with rest and frequent icing of the injection sites, it gradually improved. He was able to sit up for several hours at a time, and with less drugs in his system, he was more awake and aware of his surroundings. The promised TV was delivered and hooked up, complete with cable and a remote. It was a welcome distraction, especially at night when insomnia paid an uninvited visit.
Jack shifted his gaze from the ball game he was watching to the young girl seated at his side. Cassandra Fraiser was hard at work, studiously doodling on his cast with a blue marker. She'd been with him for most of the afternoon, her textbooks and backpack lying in a heap in the corner. It was the last week of school, and she was gearing up for a summer of fun and relaxation.
"Hey, go easy on the pink, would ya?" Jack said, watching nervously as she traded the blue marker for a rose colored one.
Cassie flashed him a cheeky grin and kept right on coloring with the offensive color.
"What are you doing anyway?" he asked, trying to sneak a look at her design.
She quickly shielded her work with her hands. "Let me finish," she said in an insistent tone that reminded him of Janet.
Jack snorted and shook his head. "Artists…" He went back to watching the game, shooting an occasional glance over at Cassie to keep tabs on the pink marker. He didn't necessarily mind the color pink – he just didn't want to be sporting a cutesy design for the next six to eight weeks.
"Knock, knock." Daniel stuck his head in the room and looked around. "Hey, I thought someone said there was a party going on in here?"
"There was until you showed up."
"Funny." The archeologist stepped inside and held the door open for Janet. "I think you put the nerve block in the wrong place. His sarcasm still works."
She grinned and set her supply tray down on the counter. "I know it's hard to believe, but that's a good thing. It means he's feeling better."
"No. It just means Daniel's a party pooper."
Daniel crossed his arms over his chest. If Jack wanted snark, then snark was what he was going to get. "You know, I think I liked it better when you were unconscious."
Jack shot the younger man a steely glare before turning his attention to Janet. "Doc, do me a favor and see what your daughter has done to my cast, would you? She's been going at it with a pink marker for like an hour now."
She walked over to where Cassie was still working diligently on her drawing. What she saw made her smile. "That's great, Cass."
"Let me see." Carefully schooling his expression, Daniel knelt down beside the young girl. "Hey, that's really neat. You know what, though? I think it could use a little more pink right here…"
"Daniel…" Jack warned.
"Just trust me on this, Jack. A little more color and you'll be the talk of the base."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
Cassie giggled and bent over Jack's cast again with the pink marker. As she worked, Daniel nodded his approval. "Maybe some more along here…and a few more flowers for emphasis."
More flowers? That does it… Jack made a grab at the offending marker with his left hand, but Cassie pulled it out of his reach at the last second. The sudden movement caused pain to tear across his the burn on his side and the cracked ribs beneath. Crying out, he dropped back against the pillows, cursing under his breath.
"I'm sorry!" Cassie exclaimed, jumping away from the bed. "Jack? Mom? I didn't mean…"
"It's okay, sweetie. It's all right," Janet soothed her daughter as she went to Jack's side. He had clamped his arm over his face, a silent indicator that he was in extreme pain. Without asking his permission, she pushed the button on his PCA pump to help bring his discomfort quickly under control. "Colonel?"
"I'm okay," he gasped into his arm. "I'm okay."
The doctor watched him closely as the medication took effect. His rapid breathing gradually slowed and his vital signs returned closer to normal. When he at last lowered his arm away from his face, Jack looked more embarrassed than sore.
"That was a bonehead maneuver," he muttered, his ribs aching dully through the drugs.
"Yes sir, it was," Janet agreed. "You should know better than to make sudden moves right now."
"Yeah, you'd think." He looked over at Cassie who was huddled up against Daniel and watching him through teary eyes. "Cassie…"
"I'm sorry, Jack," she said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You didn't hurt me, kiddo. I hurt myself. I can't be jumping around just yet, and I forgot."
"But if I hadn't been using pink…"
Jack shook his head. "You know guys and pink. It just scares our macho side, that's all. There's really nothing wrong with it." She still didn't look convinced. "Can I see what you drew?"
Noticing the design was too low for him to easily see, Janet showed her daughter how to use a small mirror to reflect the image up to him. Jack chuckled when he saw the design, which - much to his relief – wasn't as cutesy as he'd originally feared. Just above his elbow was a large pair of pink lips, surrounded by a half a dozen smaller images, including a dog and a hockey skate. There was writing too, but it was difficult to read as the mirror reversed it.
"What's it say?" he asked.
" 'A kiss to make it better,' " Cassie read with a bashful smile.
"C'mere you," he said, indicting for her to go to his left. When she got close enough, he carefully wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you."
"I want you to get better, Jack," she said, gently returning the embrace. "I want you to take me camping again this summer. Like last year, except maybe without the poison ivy."
Jack grinned and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I'll do my best, Cassie. If I can't take you, maybe Sam and Daniel can."
"Definitely," Daniel agreed. "And don't forget about Teal'c – he's great at making s'mores."
She nodded, but her face remained serious.
"Cheer up, kid," Jack said. "I'm on the mend. Your mom is taking good care of me, and the instant she says I'm good to go, I'm gone. We'll do something special together this summer - just you and me. I promise."
Janet put a hand on her daughter's arm. She knew how much Jack meant to the young girl. Cassie cared deeply for all of SG-1, but she'd struck a special bond with the colonel early on. His spontaneous nature and playfulness had helped her cope with the devastating loss of her family and the tough transition to life on Earth. If it hadn't been for his friendship, Janet knew Cassie's adjustment would never have gone so well.
"Cassie…"
"It's time for me to go, isn't it?" Cassie asked, perceptive as ever.
"Actually, it's almost time for both of us to go. I just need to change the colonel's bandages, and then we'll be heading out."
"Can I stay? I can help."
Janet shook her head. "No, sweetie, not today. But Daniel is going to take you over to the commissary to get something to eat. It's pizza night."
"I'm not hungry."
"That's too bad," Daniel said, playing up his disappointment. "Because the kitchen just got in a new ice cream maker, and they have all this stuff set up for sundaes…"
Cassie immediately perked up. "Ice cream?"
"A ton of it."
Having been exposed to the Earth dessert about a year ago, Cassie, like any kid, couldn't seem get to enough of it. "Well, I guess I am a little hungry…"
"Then you'd better get down there before the jarheads eat everything," Jack said.
Cassie turned to her mother. "Can I bring Jack a sundae?"
"That's a nice offer, sweetie, but the colonel can't have ice cream just yet," Janet replied. "Maybe in a week or two, okay?"
Jack saw the disappointment on his young friend's face. "Can't have ice cream? Dang. Guess you know what means."
"What?"
"Now somebody has to eat mine for me."
Cassie brightened once again. "I'll do it!" she cried. "I'll eat yours for you! Can I, mom? Can I have Jack's sundae too?"
"Too? As in addition to your own?" The doctor sighed and looked to Daniel who'd been watching the exchange with an amused grin on his face. "Just make sure she eats something other than ice cream first."
"I think I can do that." He dropped his hands on Cassie's shoulders and steered her towards the door. "Come on. Lets go see if Sam and Teal'c saved us a spot in line."
"Bye, Jack! Feel better!" she called as they exited into the hall.
Closing the door behind them, Janet turned and pegged Jack with the most annoyed glare she could muster.
"What?" he asked innocently.
"I think you know what." She began to extract the support pillows from behind his back. "I believe 'now somebody has to eat mine for me,' were your exact words."
"Oh, that," he chuckled. "It's the truth. I mean I'd hate to see good ice cream go to waste, and you know how the government is about wasting money…"
"Don't even go there, colonel." She used the bed's controls to lower him until he was nearly lying flat.
"So, what? You're gonna be mad at me now?"
"Mad? No, I'm not mad. At least not yet, anyway." She washed her hands at the sink and pulled on a pair of gloves. "Now if she's up for half the night complaining of a stomachache, then yes, I will be mad."
Jack winced as she removed the bandages covering the energy burn on his side. It was still tender, and the dressings had a tendency to stick to the raw spots. "Aw, c'mon, doc. Life's uncertain: eat dessert first."
Janet couldn't feign her annoyance any longer. The randomness of some of the things that came out of Jack O'Neill's mouth never seized to amaze her. She smiled and shook her head. "Please don't say that around Cassie. I'd never get another vegetable into her."
"You'd think for someone from a farming community, she wouldn't be able to get enough of those things," he said through a yawn.
"Cassie wear you out, sir?" she asked, noting the fatigue that had settled on his face.
"A little, but it's okay. I could have slept if I'd wanted to – she was pretty subdued for most of the afternoon."
"She's been that way the last couple of days." Janet picked up some antiseptic soaked gauze from her supply tray. "This is going to sting."
Jack flinched as she began to clean the burn, but he didn't complain. "Is everything all right?"
"She had placement testing last week at school to help determine the level of classes she'll be taking next year in Junior High."
"Yeah? How'd she do?"
"According to the information I got from the school, their goal is to have the majority of students fall into the mainstream category, with a certain percentage taking all or several advanced level classes. They do offer some remedial courses, but they prefer…"
"Janet." Jack interrupted her when he realized she wasn't answering his question. "How did she do?"
The doctor sighed. "She met the advanced course standards for reading and writing, and the mainstream standards for social studies. Her science is borderline for mainstream and her math…she's still struggling to keep up with her classmates."
"A lot of the concepts are still new to her. She's a smart kid – she'll catch up. I mean she's only been on Earth for a year and a half."
"I know that and you know that, but the school…they just know her as a transfer student from Toronto. They have no idea about her true history. I think they're just surprised she's made it as far as she has with her math and science being so weak. If only I could give them her records from Hanka, they could see that her schooling had been completely different up until now. Curriculums vary just between schools, but can you imagine the differences between Earth and others planets?"
"What's her teacher say?"
Finished with cleaning his burn, Janet began to apply an antibiotic cream to worst spots. "I haven't had a chance to speak with Mrs. Struble yet, but the guidance department…"
"Oh, here we go…" Jack uttered under his breath, having dealt with pretentious school guidance counselors in the past.
"…offered up a few options. Their first suggestion was to hold her back, keeping her in the sixth grade for another year."
"Keep her back for one, maybe two subjects? Please. I hope you explicitly told them to shove it."
"In not so many words, but yes, I did. Cassie's doing just fine otherwise and she's found a good group of friends that I don't want her to lose. In my mind, keeping her back is not an option."
"What's number two?" he asked.
"Summer school."
"And subject Cassie to the trouble makers and chronic underachievers? Sounds like another no to me."
"That was my opinion too, however I told them the odd hours wouldn't work with my schedule here on the base," she explained. "Option three has the most appeal, but I still have my doubts."
"What is it?"
"Private tutoring in the areas she needs the most help with."
"What's wrong with that?"
"I'm afraid that questions may arise about her past. She's been doing a great job with the cover story we gave her, but if a tutor starts to question her about her pervious learning experiences, something might slip." Janet sighed and shook her head. "I know I'm probably just being paranoid, but I don't want to put Cassie in that situation."
Jack shook his head. "It's not paranoia, doc. You're just looking out for Cassie's best interests, and the interests of the SGC too. What about getting someone she already knows to help?"
"I suppose I could ask Sam to help with her math," Janet said, positioning a wet dressing over his burn. "She really enjoyed it when Daniel helped her with world history."
"I have no doubt in Carter's willingness or ability to help, but having an astrophysicist tutor a sixth grader might do more harm than good."
"I hadn't thought of it like that. I've put a call into her teacher for some suggestions. I'm kind of hoping she'll offer to tutor Cassie herself." She put a heavy bandage over the dressing and taped it into place. "I just want to do the right thing for Cassie. She's been doing so good…I don't want to see her get discouraged."
"You'll do the right thing," Jack assured her. "Just make sure the final decision is yours and not the school's."
"Thank you, colonel," she said, offering him a smile. It wasn't often they got a chance to talk like this, and she welcomed the opportunity to be candid. "Sometimes it helps talking to anot…" …Another parent… "A good friend."
If Jack caught her near slip, he didn't show it. "Anytime, doc," he said, yawning again. "I aim to please."
Janet lifted an eyebrow. "Really? I'll have to remember that next time I want my house painted."
"You couldn't afford me."
"That's assuming I decided to pay you."
He gave her a tired glare and closed his eyes, rapidly losing the ability to stay awake.
The doctor chuckled when she heard him grumble something about women. "Try to relax, sir. I'll be just a few more minutes and then you can rest."
Working quietly so not to disturb her patient, she quickly checked, cleaned, and redressed the surgical wounds on his right side. Satisfied he was healing properly, she gave him his scheduled medication and prepared to leave.
Hefting Cassie's backpack onto her shoulder, Janet returned to Jack's side. "Colonel?" she asked, trying to gauge whether or not the man was awake.
"Hmm?"
"I'm all through here and I'm getting ready to head out. I just wanted to let you know I'm taking the weekend off, so I won't see you until Monday. I've decided to take Cassie out to the lake to see if I can cheer her up a bit. Dr. Warner will be in charge and I've requested Captain Tomas to be your nurse. You're okay with her, right?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Good. Now get some rest, do what Warner and Tomas tell you to do, and I'll see you on Monday." Janet turned to leave and was surprised when she felt a tug on the back of her white coat. She turned back to find Jack's dark brown eyes looking up at her. "Colonel?"
"You're a good mother, Janet. Don't second guess yourself on that," he said sleepily.
"Sir, I think…"
"And don't say it's just the drugs talking, 'cuz it's not. Give me another five minutes and maybe, but…" He made a vague gesture with is hand and she smiled. "I know you feel stuck between the proverbial 'rock-and-a-hard-place' with this, but you'll make the right choice. Just listen to your guts – they'll tell you what to do."
"My guts, huh?"
"Yep. And if you or Cassie ever need anything, you know where to find me."
She reached out and squeezed his hand. "Thank you, sir. That means a lot – to both of us."
Jack nodded, closed his eyes, and relaxed.
Smoothing a wrinkle from his blankets, Janet turned and quietly headed for the door. "Goodnight, sir," she said and let herself out, the seed of an idea forming in the back of her mind.
THUMP!
One of Daniel's hardbound tomes landed solidly on the floor. Diving after his book, the archeologist felt a pair of eyes boring into the back of his head. "I'm sorry, Jack. It won't happen ag…oh." Daniel looked up and was surprised to find that it was Teal'c glowering at him, not Jack. The other man was sound asleep, oblivious to the loud sound that had just occurred. "Sorry, Teal'c. I'll try to be more careful."
"See that you are, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c rumbled and turned back to his game.
Feeling somewhat scolded, Daniel placed his reference book further back on the table to prevent it from being knocked off again. Sighing, he went back to his reading, frowned, and looked up at Jack. It bothered him that the loud thud his falling book made hadn't woken him up. He was typically a light sleeper, and would wake up at the slightest of sounds.
It must be the drugs… Daniel thought, watching the man sleep. He seems all right otherwise. Maybe a little quieter than usual, but Janet said to expect some bad days along the way. Unless we wore him out yesterday…
He and Teal'c had spent much of Saturday afternoon with Jack, playing games, watching TV, and generally just hanging out. Sam joined them when she could, but much of her time was devoted to the MALP upgrade that was scheduled to begin on Monday. They'd talked and laughed and joked, enjoying each other's company and friendship. It was the most time they'd spent together as a team since the accident, and it was reassuring to see their leader sitting up, alert, and relatively pain free.
They'd started today off with a group breakfast, having smuggled a variety of foods from the commissary up to the infirmary level. Jack's diet and appetite were still limited, but he'd eaten what he could. Sam retreated to her lab shortly after the meal was done, and Jack's private room was once again transformed into a man cave. The three men enjoyed a few rounds of poker before Jack began to show signs of tiring. Daniel and Teal'c had offered to leave, but Jack insisted it was all right for them to stay and that he just needed to rest his eyes for a few minutes.
Daniel glanced at his watch. That was almost four hours ago. Jack's been asleep ever since. We just should have left… He looked across the room at Teal'c, who was absorbed in the video game he was playing. It had been Jack's idea to introduce the large man to the world of gaming, and Teal'c had taken to it with little difficulty. He'd been working on Tomb Raider for most of the morning, his undivided attention on the television screen in front of him.
The archeologist sighed and picked up his book. He was researching the Titan Cronus in hopes of finding more information about Menoetius. There was so little information available on the lesser Titan that Daniel was beginning to think Menoetius must have been fairly young when Cronus put a price on his head. Leave it to a Goa'uld to cut his teeth on stealing slaves from a System Lord. But nobody ever said they were smart. Arrogant, narrow minded, and greedy – yes. But smart? Not so…
Daniel nearly tore a page out of his book when Jack suddenly began to cough. It was a deep, painful sounding bark that shook the entire bed. Both Daniel and Teal's were at their friend's side in an instant, worried and wanting to help.
"Jack? Jack? Are you all right? Do you want us to call a nurse?" Daniel asked, already reaching for the call button.
Jack shook his head and flapped his hand at the box of tissues beside his bed. Teal'c passed it to him, and he quickly brought a wad of them to his mouth. A few bone jarring coughs later, and the junk in his lungs finally rattled free. Spitting into the tissues, Jack grimaced at the foul taste as he wiped his mouth.
"That looks like it hurts," Daniel muttered, holding up the trashcan for his friend.
"It does…" Jack wheezed, tossing the soiled tissues into the garbage. He coughed again and winced. "Ow…crap."
"Perhaps the treatment Doctor Fraiser administered is no longer effective," Teal'c suggested.
"No…it's working, believe me," he panted, trying to catch his breath. "That stuff lasts for weeks. My chest just feels a little funny today. Tight."
Daniel offered Jack a drink of water and helped him to steady the glass. "Maybe you should talk to one of the nurses. There might be something wrong."
The colonel waved it off. "Nah. It's probably just from the damned breathing exercises that bully of a therapist made me do. It'll pass."
"Are you sure? I mean you really shouldn't mess around with…"
"Daniel." Jack's tone indicated he wasn't in the mood to argue. "Drop it, okay? I'm fine."
"Perhaps we should leave and allow O'Neill to rest in peace."
Daniel clapped a hand against his forehead and Jack chuckled wearily. "Not the best choice of words there, Big Guy."
"I do not understand."
" 'Rest in peace' is generally reserved for…well…um…" the archeologist squirmed, trying to decide how to best word it. "Let's just say that…"
"It's what we say about dead people, Teal'c," Jack explained, articulate as ever.
"I see," Teal'c replied, realizing his mistake. "I did not mean to refer to you in such a manner, O'Neill. I merely wished to suggest that our presence may be preventing you from resting adequately."
"You do look tired, Jack."
The other man gave a lopsided shrug. "I just haven't been sleeping well. Nights are always the wors…" His words came out in a rush as he began to cough again, the intensity of the spell making his eyes water.
"I'm not so sure we shouldleave him," Daniel said. "If this is going to keep happening…"
"It won't," Jack uttered in between coughs. "It'll stop as soon as I…" He coughed, cleared his throat, and coughed again. The tickle that had caused the fit subsided, but the ache in his chest did not. "Oh god…I swear I'll never complain about a cold ever again."
"Are you sure you want us to leave? We can be quiet…"
Jack had shut his eyes, his face shadowed with pain. "I'll be fine. I just need some sleep. Sorry I haven't been much of a host."
"We are not here for hosting, O'Neill. We are here to provide you with companionship."
Jack briefly cracked open an eye and looked at Teal'c, the large man's expression unreadable. "Is that what you guys were doing? Thanks – I appreciate it."
Daniel and Teal'c quietly gathered their things and proceeded to the door.
"We'll come check on you later," Daniel said, struggling to hold onto his pile of books and papers. "We'll bring Sam too. Maybe have dinner or something." He waited for Jack to respond, but a soft, raspy snore was all he got. "Wow. I guess he's really tired."
"Indeed," Teal'c agreed with a frown.
Dimming the lights, the two men left their friend to rest, their faces mirroring each other's unspoken concern.